Friday, September 23, 2005

Metropolitan Grill

Sometimes I take a little heat for the hostility expressed in this restaurant review blog. Random strangers approach me and say, "Saf, your reviews are caustic and biting." I swear, those are their exact words. Well, there is a new restaurant in town and it is the best establishment that Wheeling has ever seen. My only real complaint is that the entity known as Wheeling doesn't deserve a restaurant of this caliber. The only thing Wheeling deserves is extra ranch with their fuckin' wing dings. The words "fine dining" and "Wheeling" have never been compatible, UNTIL NOW.
Apparently, the head chef from the Wheeling Downs decided to open his own place. He remodeled the old Lanos Kraus Deli on Chapline and did a fantastic job. The set-up is spectacular. Once again, the only problem is that this place is too good for the Wheeling moronathons. They'll probably start picketing the place. Their demands - more bologna and olive loaf sandwich offerings. Extra ketchup, damnit!
Anyway, Amanda and I ate there yesterday. The place was packed but we got there early, so it wasn't an issue. Off in the corner was the President of the Lunchables and his crew. The President shirked his responsibilities so everyone had to sit all cramped together at the bar. Anyway, that's pretty much irrelevant.
The service and ambience were professional and exceptional. The food was fantastic. Finally, a house salad without a clump of iceberg that resembles the thing that brought down Titanic. Great house dressing too - just a simple balsamic viniagrette. Amanda had the shrimp pasta and I had this artichoke/salmon pasta concoction. Both were really strong. We also had an appetizer of stuffed banana peppers which were very potent. I could go on indefinitely about just how good this place is but I'd rather focus on the more pressing issue - Wheeling doesn't deserve this place. 82% of the people who live in this area are complete idiots. They embrace Perkins just like Sally Struthers used to care for those starving Ethiopian kids. They crave Bob Evans much in the same way that a Catholic priest craves young boys. Simply put, we as a people, aren't deserving of this place. We aren't good enough. Now that's a tough and unpopular stance, but I'm sticking with it. The Met Grill rocks and we suck. If this place goes out of business, I will weep uncontrollably and then I shall atone for the sins of Wheeling.

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