#1948. Bacon's Fucking You

OMG!  Nebraska Congressman Don Bacon is truly enraged.

This begs the question... from a rural Cornhusker perspective, is the intestinal meat of an Orange Prolapse technically kosher?

"Hasidim but I don't believe 'em." --- Paulie Walnuts

 

An absolutely brutal Bucco Dump spotted in an alley off Market Square.  High visibility warning!  Not in keeping with the low visibility Canadian wildfire smog alert.

In other news, the Pirates look to sweep the Padres this afternoon.  Butt before they seek victory, may I humbly suggest the shitty of Shitsburgh sweep up the human excrement.

Know what I sayin'?

 

 

Bacon’s Fucking You
sonofsaf

Stop the steal he’s lying just for you
Stop the steal stand up and shout
Don Bacon’s fucking you
Not a Jew but circumcised too
His last name ain’t kosher too
Trump’s a cunt but Bacon’s fucking you

Donald Trump his tiny mushroom bone
So stop the steal stand up and shout
He is gay Stormy blown
Trump’s a twat who’s preying on you
Corinthians is number two
Trump’s a cunt but Bacon’s fucking you

When Donald farts the smell is treasonous
There is no doubt Kushner’s a Jew
Let’s pray that Ivanka’s a cunt we trust
The Proud boys are white and they will fight
His daughter-wife’s a Jew

Enemy Trump’s asshole opens wide
Orange Prolapse he doesn’t care
Unless it’s a large fries
Baby shitting at Trump Tower
Baby this is nothing new
Trump’s a cunt but Bacon’s fucking you

 

Breaking Us In Two
Joe Jackson

Don't you feel like trying something new
Don't you feel like breaking out
Or breaking us in two
You don't do the things that I do
You want to do things I can't do
Always something breaking us in two

You and I could never live alone
But don't you feel like breaking out
Just one day on your own
Why does what I'm saying hurt you
I didn't say that we were through
Always something breaking us in two

They say two hearts should beat as one for us
We'll fight it out to see it through
I say that won't be too much fun for us
Though it's oh so nice to get advice
It's oh so hard to do

Could we be much closer if we tried
We could stay at home and stare
Into each other's eyes
Maybe we could last an hour
Maybe then we'd see right through
Always something breaking us in two

This song is absolutely timeless.  One of the superior melodies of the early 80's.  It's my second parody of "Breaking Us In Two."  Exactly one year ago, I penned #1307.  Kushner Is A Jew.

From 1979 to 2018, Joe Jackson has performed in the Burgh a grand total of 6 times.  Never seen him.

Instead, we hit up MMJ last night at Stage AE.  They moved the show indoors "due to the haze."

The Big Lie 100: (#1108)

#1938.  Amanda Chase (Leather and Lace --- Stevie Nicks)

#1939.  Wagner Group (Chicken Soup --- Skrillex)

#1940.  Wagner Group (Chicken Soup --- Saint Etienne)

#1941.  Donald Trump Is Not A King (Money Changes Everything --- Cyndi Lauper)

#1942.  Will Hurd (Songbird --- Fleetwood Mac)

#1943.  Trump Is Gay (Trip Away --- Jane's Addiction)

#1944.  Transgender (Surrender --- Natalie Taylor)

#1945.  Robert Bowers (After Hours --- Boz Scaggs)

#1946.  Transgender (Surrender --- Cheap Trick)

#1947.  Mercenary (Virgin Mary --- Joan Baez)

#1948.  Bacon's Fucking You (Breaking Us In Two --- Joe Jackson)

Please do not share this material with Congressman Don Bacon (R-NE) and/or former President Donald J. Trump.

 

#1947. Mercenary

I find it relatively amusing how the entire U.S. media refers to the Yevgeny Prigozhin's Wagner Group as "mercenaries."

Definition of mercenary... "one that serves merely for wages"

A spectacular "curb dump" near The Eagle restaurant on Penn Ave.

Oh yeah, kinda like "private contractors."  Now I get it.

 

 

Mercenary
sonofsaf

Mercenary killing is fun
Oh, Vladimir Putin’s Russia
An armed rebellion maybe
Enemies of the Ukraine sing

Donald Trump is bald but fuckin’ hairy maybe
Oh, Vladimir Putin’s Russia
An armed rebellion maybe
Enemies of the Ukraine sing

Putin will please us, a Zelensky hater
Oh, you stink Zelensky hater
Oh, you stink Zelensky hater
Enemies of the Ukraine sing

Infection of yeast came from the Kremlin
Oh, from the Kremlin
Oh, from the Kremlin
Enemies of the Ukraine sing

Red MAGA retard, in Mar-a-Lago maybe
Oh, Mar-a-Lago maybe
Oh, Mar-a-Lago maybe
Enemies of the Ukraine sing

Mercenary killing is fun
Oh, Vladimir Putin’s Russia
An armed rebellion maybe
Enemies of the Ukraine sing

 

Virgin Mary
Joan Baez

Virgin Mary had a one son
Oh, glory hallelujah
Oh, pretty little baby
Glory be to the new born King

"Mary how you call that pretty little baby?
Oh, glory hallelujah
Oh, pretty little baby
Glory be to the new born King"

"Some call Him Jesus, think I'll call Him Savior
Oh, I think I'll call Him Savior
Oh, I think I'll call Him Savior
Glory be to the new born King"

Riding from the East there came three wise men
Oh, came three wise men
Oh, came three wise men
Glory to be the new born King

Said, "Follow that star, you'll surely find the baby
Oh, surely find the baby
Oh, surely find the baby
Glory be to the new born King"

Virgin Mary had a one son
Oh, glory hallelujah
Oh, pretty little baby
Glory be to the new born King

Dear God!  This song is fuckin' above and beyond... annoyingly hideous.

From 1962 to 2009, Joan Baez played the Burgh a grand total of 11 times.  Never seen her. 

However, one of the best covers in the history of heavy metal is the Judas Priest version of Diamonds and Rust (preferably the up tempo version off Unleashed in the East).

The Big Lie 100: (#1107)

#1938.  Amanda Chase (Leather and Lace --- Stevie Nicks)

#1939.  Wagner Group (Chicken Soup --- Skrillex)

#1940.  Wagner Group (Chicken Soup --- Saint Etienne)

#1941.  Donald Trump Is Not A King (Money Changes Everything --- Cyndi Lauper)

#1942.  Will Hurd (Songbird --- Fleetwood Mac)

#1943.  Trump Is Gay (Trip Away --- Jane's Addiction)

#1944.  Transgender (Surrender --- Natalie Taylor)

#1945.  Robert Bowers (After Hours --- Boz Scaggs)

#1946.  Transgender (Surrender --- Cheap Trick)

#1947.  Mercenary (Virgin Mary --- Joan Baez)

Please do not share this material with mercenaries and/or former President Donald J. Trump.

#1946. Transgender

While on the campaign stump, Trump has been referencing "transgender insanity." 

So who's actually better looking?  The masculine Orange Prolapse or a feminine Spanish Potato farmer?

I don't have a definite answer.

 

However, these dueling 5th Avenue dahntahn dumps speak volumes. 

 

Transgender
sonofsaf

Trumpers sold me, yes, they sold me
Donald’s son-in-law’s a Jew
Nancy Pelosi’s husband’s gay
Melania’s twat’s the best
You’ll discover they’re absurd
Donald’s salad’s being tossed
That Jared Kushner punk’s
Gone underground

We're gonna fight
Proud Boys are white
Oath Keepers wanna be feared
Transgender
Transgender
Butt the Orange Prolapse is gay
Hey, heeeeeey

MAGA’s red, the Trumpers fight
His anal dildo stings
Before he’s buried, Donald burned
Hunter’s crack pipe it’s so obscene
Now, Trump’s a turd prolapse protruded
Orange bulge wanton’ more
But Donald’s sinning when he blows
It’s shown that he’s a queer

We're gonna fight
Proud Boys are white
Oath Keepers wanna be feared
Transgender
Transgender
Butt the Orange Prolapse is gay
Hey, heeeeeey
Transgender
Transgender
Butt the Orange Prolapse is gay
Hey, heeeeeey

We’re so disgusted with all the treason
Donald Trump is queer
And his asshole’s always stinking
A butthole to fear
But he’s so fucked up, and so fat
McDonald’s in his mouth
Polling wonder, Big Mac trollin’
Is why Trump shits no doubt

We're gonna fight
Proud Boys are white
Oath Keepers wanna be feared
Transgender
Transgender
Butt the Orange Prolapse is gay
Hey, heeeeeey
Transgender
Transgender
Butt the Orange Prolapse is gay
Hey, heeeeeey

He’s gay
He’s gay

Transgender
Transgender
Butt the Orange Prolapse is gay
Transgender
Transgender
Butt the Orange Prolapse is gay
[repeat to fade]

 

Surrender
Cheap Trick

Mother told me, yes, she told me
That I'd meet girls like you
She also told me, "Stay away
You'll never know what you'll catch"
Just the other day I heard
Of a soldier's falling off
Some Indonesian junk
That's going round

Mommy's all right
Daddy's all right
They just seem a little weird
Surrender
Surrender
But don't give yourself away
Hey, heeeeeey

Father says, "Your mother's right
She's really up on things
Before we married, Mommy served
In the WACS in the Philippines"
Now, I had heard the WACS recruited
Old maids for the war
But mommy isn't one of those
I've known her all these years

Mommy's all right
Daddy's all right
They just seem a little weird
Surrender
Surrender
But don't give yourself away
Hey, heeeeeey

Whatever happened to all this season's
Losers of the year?
Every time I got to thinking
Where'd they disappear?
But when I woke up, Mom and Dad
Are rolling on the couch
Rolling numbers, rock and rollin'
Got my KISS records out

Mommy's all right
Daddy's all right
They just seem a little weird
Surrender
Surrender
But don't give yourself away
Hey, heeeeeey

Away
Away

Surrender
Surrender
But don't give yourself away
Surrender
Surrender
But don't give yourself away
[repeat to fade]

Challenging parody.  Difficult lyrics.

From 1977 to 2021, Cheap Trick played the Burgh an impressive 26 times.  They'll be opening for Rod Stewart on August 26 at PPG Paints Arena.  We intend to be in attendance.

Cheap Trick:

6-18-04, Post-Gazette Pavilion, Burgettstown, PA (opened for Aerosmith)

7-10-09, Post-Gazette Pavilion, Burgettstown, PA (opened for Def Leppard & Poison)

8-21-13, Stage AE, Pittsburgh, PA

Pearl Jam:

8-25-98, Star Lake Amphitheater, Burgettstown, PA
9-5-00, Post-Gazette Pavilion, Burgettstown, PA
9-28-05, PNC Park, Pittsburgh, PA (opened for the Rolling Stones)
6-23-06, Mellon Arena, Pittsburgh, PA
10-27-09, Wachovia Spectrum, Philadelphia, PA
10-28-09, Wachovia Spectrum, Philadelphia, PA
5-6-10, Nationwide Arena, Columbus, OH
5-9-10, Quicken Loans Arena, Cleveland, OH
10-11-13, Consol Energy Center, Pittsburgh, PA
10-1-14, U.S. Bank Arena, Cincinnati, OH
9-26-15, Central Park, New York City, NY (Global Citizen Festival)
4-28-16, Wells Fargo Center, Philadelphia, PA
4-29-16, Wells Fargo Center, Philadelphia, PA (10)

The Big Lie 100: (#1106)

#1938.  Amanda Chase (Leather and Lace --- Stevie Nicks)

#1939.  Wagner Group (Chicken Soup --- Skrillex)

#1940.  Wagner Group (Chicken Soup --- Saint Etienne)

#1941.  Donald Trump Is Not A King (Money Changes Everything --- Cyndi Lauper)

#1942.  Will Hurd (Songbird --- Fleetwood Mac)

#1943.  Trump Is Gay (Trip Away --- Jane's Addiction)

#1944.  Transgender (Surrender --- Natalie Taylor)

#1945.  Robert Bowers (After Hours --- Boz Scaggs)

#1946.  Transgender (Surrender --- Cheap Trick)

 

Please do not share this material with transgendered individuals and/or former President Donald J. Trump.

 

 

#1945. Robert Bowers

Should Donald Trump share in the blame for the Tree of Life Synagogue massacre in Squirrel Hill?

Yes.  All the Orange Prolapse does is foment ethnic division and spew hatred.  Eventually, it all adds up and has real world consequences.  And then some MAGA freakshow from 'Lil Warshington goes on a mass shooting spree.  Followed up by fringe members of Congress posting celebratory pictures of their teenage children armed with AR-15s.  Second Amendment Reinforcement 101.

And on it goes...

 

 

Robert Bowers
sonofsaf

Robert is a fucked up clown
Bowers is a cunt
Proud Boys love the meat of Robert Bowers
And he’s gonna have some fun
Oath Keepers are all in maybe
Robert is white a lil’ slow
Oath Keepers all love that Robert Bowers
He ain’t faking doncha know

Holocaust Jews are cooking
Dead bodies he don’t mind
AK-47 maybe
For the sake of all mankind
Oath Keepers are so much greater
Robert is white doncha know
We want you put to death Robert Bowers
And Ivanka’s a Jewish whore

There’s gonna be a huge crime
Squirrel Hill is gonna pay
Endless bullets in a frenzy
He be paving in a different way
The ultimate price since Honest Abe
Robert was right the low blow
And all the blow jobs he’s selling
That Robert Bowers Nazi whore

 

After Hours
Boz Scaggs

After all the ups and downs
All the due's are done
I want you to meet me after hours
And we'll make a little run
I want you to meet me baby
After the lights go down low
I want you to meet me after hours
Then we'll take it nice and slow

Now don't you go out looking
No telling what you'll find
It's a jungle out there baby
But just take it off your mind
I want you to meet me later
After the lights go down low
I want you to meet me after hours
And leave the crazies at the door

You know it's been a long time
Since you came around this way
And you look like all the pennies
I've been saving for a rainy day
Would be awful nice to see you babe
After the lights go down low
Cause you know there ain't no telling
What after hours got in store

 

From 1973 to 2023, Boz Scaggs has "boss hogged" the Burgh a grand total of 14 times.

Boz Scaggs:

7-16-17, Hartwood Acres, Pittsburgh, PA

The Big Lie 100: (#1105)

#1938.  Amanda Chase (Leather and Lace --- Stevie Nicks)

#1939.  Wagner Group (Chicken Soup --- Skrillex)

#1940.  Wagner Group (Chicken Soup --- Saint Etienne)

#1941.  Donald Trump Is Not A King (Money Changes Everything --- Cyndi Lauper)

#1942.  Will Hurd (Songbird --- Fleetwood Mac)

#1943.  Trump Is Gay (Trip Away --- Jane's Addiction)

#1944.  Transgender (Surrender --- Natalie Taylor)

#1945.  Robert Bowers (After Hours --- Boz Scaggs)

 

Please do not share this material with Robert Bowers and/or former President Donald J. Trump.

 

#1944. Transgender

Non-fake newsflash alert!  At last night's GOP conference in Oakland, Michigan, the Orange Prolapse made the following statement...

I will immediately sign a new executive order to cut federal spending for any school pushing CRT, transgender insanity, and other inappropriate racial, sexual, or political content on our children.

Seen it all before.  Deflection, deflection, deflection.

Hey, Stormy Daniels had the most intimate knowledge of Trump's "tiny mushroom" dick (as is evidenced by the statue above).  And he paid her $130,000 to stay quiet.

Therefore, I believe it reasonable to claim that Donald Trump, the hero of the MAGA movement, is actually a transgendered individual.  Or at a bare minimum, had some kind of gender-reaffirming surgery that went ghastly awry.  The proof is in the penis.  Or lack thereof.  

 

 

Transgender
sonofsaf

Trump spread all the big lies
Trump’s numbered forty-five
I wonder if he’s gay
‘Cause his shit is not okay
Ivanka’s a Jew.  Ivanka’s a Jew.

Mentally unsteady (Mentally unsteady)
Mentally unsteady (Mentally unsteady)
Is he, is he transgrender
Is he, is he transgender
He’s transgender

Donald’s committing crime
Orange is the new black
All of the times he lied
Lying like a fag, like a fag
Ivanka’s a Jew.  My love where are you?

Mentally unsteady (Mentally unsteady)
Mentally unsteady (Mentally unsteady)
Is he, is he transgrender
Is he, is he transgender
He’s transgender
Oh, he’s transgender

 

Surrender
Natalie Taylor

We let the waters rise
We drifted to survive
I needed you to stay
But I let you drift away
My love where are you? My love where are you?

Whenever you're ready (Whenever you're ready)
Whenever you're ready (Whenever you're ready)
Can we, can we surrender
Can we, can we surrender
I surrender

No one will win this time
I just want you back
I'm running to your side
Flying my white flag, my white flag
My love where are you? My love where are you?

Whenever you're ready (Whenever you're ready)
Whenever you're ready (Whenever you're ready)
Can we, can we, surrender
Can we, can we, surrender
I surrender
Oh, I surrender

Never seen Natalie Taylor perform live.  Until this morning, I had no idea she even existed.

The Big Lie 100: (#1104)

#1938.  Amanda Chase (Leather and Lace --- Stevie Nicks)

#1939.  Wagner Group (Chicken Soup --- Skrillex)

#1940.  Wagner Group (Chicken Soup --- Saint Etienne)

#1941.  Donald Trump Is Not A King (Money Changes Everything --- Cyndi Lauper)

#1942.  Will Hurd (Songbird --- Fleetwood Mac)

#1943.  Trump Is Gay (Trip Away --- Jane's Addiction)

#1944.  Transgender (Surrender --- Natalie Taylor)

 

Please do not share this material with transgendered individuals and/or former President Donald J. Trump.

#1943. Trump Is Gay

If you are a lesbian, gay, bisexual, or transgender individual and an active supporter of the Orange Prolapse...

... you gotta be an utter imbecile.

Market Square outside the Original Oyster House.  Jehovah's Witness proximity alert!

 

 

Trump Is Gay
sonofsaf

Forty five is a clown
Bad hair
Fucks your ass gaping wide
Barron’s dad
Not gonna make you cum
An Orange Prolapse in disguise
Shithead is a fat disgrace
Outta line
The big lie
Gonna fake ‘em

Donald’s gay
Trump is gay
Trump is gay
Trump is gay
Trump is gay
Trump is gay
No doubt
No doubt

Oh, Forty-five is a…
Liar didn’t make Stormy cum
Pretty dumb
Gonna be a cunt
Gonna be wild coup d’etat
Gay clown who we must defend
Mushroom dick
Big Mac din
Seven deadly sinner

Donald’s gay
Trump is gay
Trump is gay
Trump is gay
Trump is gay
Trump is gay
No doubt
No doubt

Fake news why
Support the big lie
Doesn’t give a fuck
A crooked Orange Prolapse clown
All the 1-6ers marching to hell
None the wiser fake fuck in bad health
There’s no fuckin’ cure

Trump is gay roll in the hay
Guns are wrong
Guns are in play
Guns are strong
Guns mistaken cunt
Kushner is a Jew
Kushner’s a Jew

Donald’s gay
Trump is gay
Trump is gay
Trump is gay
Trump is gay

Trump is gay
No doubt
No doubt

 

Trip Away
Jane’s Addiction

Mama, lick on me now
No care
Put me on the bad side
Oh, so bad
I wanna make you love
Wanna, wanna watch your eyes
Dip them in a honey glaze
Mirror mine
Roll them high
Wanna make them

Drip away
Trip away
Trip away
Trip away
Trip away
Trip away
Way out
Way out

Oh, mama lick on me
I'm as tasty as a red plumb
Baby thumb
Wanna make you love
Wanna be wild animals
Lay down in a shady den
See the spring
Color in
Watch the stoney winter

Drip away
Trip away
Trip away
Trip away
Trip away
Trip away
Way out
Way out

Take my eye
Do not wonder why
I've come to the crux
I've looked it up and down
Seen the trespassers trample themselves
As the miser makes love with his wealth
Convenience his lure!

Tripped away the summer days
Some are gone
Some are O.K.
Summers gone
Some are makin love
I love to watch you
Love to watch you

Drip away
Trip away
Trip away
Trip away
Trip away

Trip away
Way out
Way out

A long time ago, I had a brief argument with this guy in Manhattan about who was the best actively touring rock band of the early 90's.  I asked him, "Who the fuck is better than Jane's Addiction?"  He thought about it for 5 seconds, confidently looked at me and said the Beastie Boys.

Likely the only parody of "Trip Away" in existence.  Having penned this one, I can definitely see why.

From 1988 to 2015, Jane's Addiction has played the Burgh a grand total of 8 times.  They were supposed to open for the Smashing Pumpkins last fall at PPG... but cancelled.

Jane’s Addiction:

5-7-91, A.J. Palumbo Center, Pittsburgh, PA
7-19-03, Post Gazette Pavilion, Burgettstown, PA (Lollapalooza)
7-10-15, Stage AE, Pittsburgh, PA

Porno for Pyros:

8-20-93, I.C. Light Amphitheatre, Pittsburgh, PA

 

The Big Lie 100: (#1103)

#1938.  Amanda Chase (Leather and Lace --- Stevie Nicks)

#1939.  Wagner Group (Chicken Soup --- Skrillex)

#1940.  Wagner Group (Chicken Soup --- Saint Etienne)

#1941.  Donald Trump Is Not A King (Money Changes Everything --- Cyndi Lauper)

#1942.  Will Hurd (Songbird --- Fleetwood Mac)

#1943.  Trump Is Gay (Trip Away --- Jane's Addiction)

 

Please do not share this material with former President Donald J. Trump.

 

#1942. Will Hurd

Former Texas Congressman Will Hurd, an admitted dark horse candidate (as in severely burnt and blackened) for the GOP nomination, stated that he would not be willing to sign a "loyalty pledge" to support the eventual Republican nominee for president.

"I am entirely unwilling to support an Orange Prolapse for high office."

This alley pic simply doesn't do this Trump Dump justice. 

Well said... Hurd.

 

Will Hurd
sonofsaf

Fuck you, Donald Trump is lying
Fuck you, that cunt should be dying
Stop the steal if you want a coup
MAGA’s white, his Proud Boys fight

Screw you, Trump flags unfurled
Screw you, they’re all bought and sold
Stop the steal his daughter’s a Jew
MAGA’s white, his Proud Boys fight

And that Will Hurd is stinking
But Donald wants more
And he’ll fuck you, he’ll fuck you, he’ll fuck you
Ivanka’s a whore

So don’t piss on Trump flags when they’re unfurled
A toilet stall, you're pissing urine* hell

And that Will Hurd is stinking
But Donald wants more
And he’ll fuck you, he’ll fuck you, he’ll fuck you
Ivanka’s a whore
Ivanka’s a whore
Ivanka’s a whore

Songbird
Fleetwood Mac

For you, there'll be no more crying
For you, the sun will be shining
And I feel that when I'm with you
It's alright, I know it's right

To you, I'll give the world
To you, I'll never be cold
'Cause I feel that when I'm with you
It's alright, I know it's right

And the songbirds are singing
Like they know the score
And I love you, I love you, I love you
Like never before

And I wish you all the love in the world
But most of all, I wish it from myself

And the songbirds keep singing
Like they know the score
And I love you, I love you, I love you
Like never before
Like never before
Like never before

From 1971 to the present, Fleetwood Mac has played the Burgh an impressive 18 times.

Fleetwood Mac:

9-27-97, Star Lake Amphitheater, Burgettstown, PA

3-1-09, Mellon Arena, Pittsburgh, PA
4-26-13, Consol Energy Center, Pittsburgh, PA

10-14-14, Consol Energy Center, Pittsburgh, PA 

11-1-18, PPG Paints Arena, Pittsburgh, PA

 

 

The Big Lie 100: (#1102)

#1938.  Amanda Chase (Leather and Lace --- Stevie Nicks)

#1939.  Wagner Group (Chicken Soup --- Skrillex)

#1940.  Wagner Group (Chicken Soup --- Saint Etienne)

#1941.  Donald Trump Is Not A King (Money Changes Everything --- Cyndi Lauper)

#1942.  Will Hurd (Songbird --- Fleetwood Mac)

Please do not share this material with former Texas Congressman Will Hurd and/or former President Donald J. Trump.

#1941. Donald Trump Is Not A King

Trump is presently speaking at the Faith and Freedom Coalition.  Hey, for the love of dog, isn't it already weird enough to be an extremist Christian evangelical?  And now you're worshiping an Orange Prolapse?

The Donald might think he is "THE GREAT MAGA KING."

 

Yet, he is not a king.  Merely a piece of shit.

 

The sheer quantity of dog shit on the sidewalk outside The Eagle on Penn Ave. defies description.  We've never dined there.  However, I do like the menu and their set up.  Looks good.  You just gotta remain indifferent to the overwhelming prevalence of canine excrement.

 

 

Donald Trump Is Not A King
sonofsaf

He said, “I’m Donald, baby, I'm gonna sue Bud Light
My daughter’s a Jew
Her asshole’s always gaping wide”
“Big money, such a piece of shit
A whore teaching instructions ‘bout her cunt
She said, “Well, yeah, I’ll blow, your dick Jared
As The Donald sticks it in my cunt, that ain’t funny”

Donald Trump is not a king
I said, “Donald, Donald Trump is not a king.”
A piece of shit that keeps losing
Forty-five ain’t king
Just an Orange Prolapse clown
Donald Trump is not a king

The fake news can
All the while, claim that his asshole stinks
They say, “He wears Depends
His dick’s piss we will defend
Ah, but Oath Keepers are Trumpy cooking Big Macs in hell
Let us pray, “Well, Stormy’s big bust!”
He’ll sell you, the Brooklyn Bridge because it’s Donald

Donald Trump is not a king
I said Donald, Donald Trump is not a king
A piece of shit that keeps losing
Penis mushroom thing
Just an Orange Prolapse clown
Donald Trump is not a king

Yeah, yeah, yeah, Donald
Donald Trump is not a king
I said, “Donald, Donald Trump is not a king.”
A piece of shit that keeps losing
Forty-five ain’t king
Just an Orange Prolapse clown
Donald Trump is not a king

Hey, yeah, yeah
Donald Trump is not a king, yes
Donald Trump is not a king, yeah
Donald is not a king
Donald is not a king, yes
Donald Trump is not a king, yeah, yeah

 

Money Changes Everything
Cyndi Lauper

I said, "I'm sorry, baby, I'm leaving you tonight
I found someone new
He's waiting in the car outside"
"Aw honey, how could you do it?
We swore each other everlasting love"
I said, "Well, yeah, I know, but when we did
There was one thing we weren't thinking of, and that's money"

Money changes everything
I said, "Money, money changes everything."
We think we know what we're doing
That don't mean a thing
It's all in the past now
Money changes everything

They shake your hand
And they smile, and they buy you a drink
They say, "We'll be your friends
We'll stick with you 'til the end"
Ah, but everybody's only looking out for themselves
And you say, "Well, who can you trust?"
I'll tell you, it's just nobody else's money

Money changes everything
I said money, money changes everything
You think you know what you're doing
We don't pull the strings
It's all in the past now
Money changes everything

Yeah, yeah, yeah, money
Money changes everything
I said money, money changes everything
We think we know what we're doing
We don't know a thing
It's all in the past now
Money changes everything

Hey, yeah, yeah
Money is everything, yes
Money changes everything, yeah
Money is everything
Money is everything, yes
Money changes everything, yeah, yeah

Easily one of my favorite live concert covers.  Lauper. Goes. Ballistic.

Her father, Captain Lou Albano, passed away in 2009.  I wonder if his face was adorned with rubber bands.  You know, at the funeral... in the casket.  I would think yes.

Cyndi Lauper takes Cosentyx to help manage her psoriasis.  How do I know this for certain?  Because Big Pharma told me so.  Also, my late father was a dermatologist.

From 1984 to 2018, time after time, Cyndi Lauper played the Burgh on 8 different occasions.

Cyndi Lauper:

8-11-18, PPG Paints Arena, Pittsburgh, PA

The Big Lie 100: (#1101)

#1938.  Amanda Chase (Leather and Lace --- Stevie Nicks)

#1939.  Wagner Group (Chicken Soup --- Skrillex)

#1940.  Wagner Group (Chicken Soup --- Saint Etienne)

#1941.  Donald Trump Is Not A King (Money Changes Everything --- Cyndi Lauper)

Please do not share this material with former President Donald J. Trump.

 

#1940. Wagner Group

Yevgeny Prigozhin, leader of the mercenary Wagner Group, used to serve Vladimir hot dogs. 

 

I strongly suspect that Putin will be returning the favor.  "Excuse me, bartender, what's this drink called?  

"Commander, it's a Putin Polonium!" (Trump Vodka and toxic.  Err uh, tonic.  Garnish with a twist of radioactive isotopes)

 

Wagner Group
sonofsaf

Ukrainian border
Scum, war is takin’, a, toll on all, the Russian mercenaries, geez
Fuck you!
Wagner Group!

 

Chicken Soup
Saint Etienne

Can I take your order?
Urrrmm, I'll have bacon, eggs, tomatoes, two toast and a cup of tea, please
And you?
Chicken soup!

This "song" was written in 1993.  I have no idea who this is, what it means, or why it's even on the internet.  Probably my least ambitious parody since the last instrumental.

Seriously, it's not even worthy of a #TrumpDump.  (shame emoji)

 

The Big Lie 100: (#1100)

#1938.  Amanda Chase (Leather and Lace --- Stevie Nicks)

#1939.  Wagner Group (Chicken Soup --- Skrillex)

#1940.  Wagner Group (Chicken Soup --- Saint Etienne)

Please do not share this material with Yevgeny Prigozhin, Vladimir Putin, and/or former President Donald J. Trump.

 

#1939. Wagner Group

The Orange Prolapse couldn't resist the temptation to weigh in on  Yevgeny Prigozhin's Wagner Group.

A big mess in Russia, but be careful what you wish for. Next in may be far worse!

Tonight, Trump bulges his way back to D.C. for the annual Faith And Freedom summit.

 

Though lemme guess, he'd probably get along with the merciless Hot Dog chef.  I'm sure they'd have a great relationship.

 

Wagner Group
sonofsaf

Prigozhin will regroup
Big dick, Wagner Group
Cock’s in, kill Putin
Big dick, Wagner Group
Prigozhin will regroup
Big dick, Wagner Group
Cock’s in, kill Putin
Big dick, Wagner Group
Wagner Group, Wagner Group
Wagner Group, Wagner Group
Wagner Group, Wagner Group
Wagner Group, Wagner Group
Wah-wah-wah-wah-wah-wah…

Prigozhin will regroup

Prigozhin will regroup
Big dick, Wagner group
Cock’s in, kill Putin
Big dick, Wagner group
Prigozhin will regroup
Big dick, Wagner group
Cock’s in, kill Putin
Big dick, Wagner group
Prigozhin will regroup
Big dick, Wagner group
Cock’s in, kill Putin
Big dick, Wagner group
Prigozhin will regroup
Big dick, Wagner group
Cock’s in, kill Putin
Big dick, Wagner group
Wagner Group, Wagner Group
Wagner Group, Wagner Group
Wagner Group, Wagner Group
Wagner Group, Wagner Group
Wah-wah-wah-wah-wah-wah…

Prigozhin will regroup

Prigozhin will regroup
Big dick, Wagner Group
Cock’s in, kill Putin
Big dick, Wagner Group
Prigozhin will regroup
Big dick, Wagner Group
Cock’s in, kill Putin
Big dick, Wagner Group

Wagner Group
Wagner Group
Wagner Group
Wagner Group

 

"Chicken Soup"
Skrillex (with Habstrakt)

Spice girl in the coop
So sick, chicken soup
Walk in, kill the room
So sick, chicken soup
Spice girl in the coop
So sick, chicken soup
Walk in, kill the room
So sick, chicken soup
Chicken soup, chicken soup
Chicken soup, chicken soup
Chicken soup, chicken soup
Chicken soup, chicken soup
Chi-chi-chi-chi-chi-chi...

Spice girl in the coop

Spice girl in the coop
So sick, chicken soup
Walk in, kill the room
So sick, chicken soup
Spice girl in the coop
So sick, chicken soup
Walk in, kill the room
So sick, chicken soup
Spice girl in the coop
So sick, chicken soup
Walk in, kill the room
So sick, chicken soup
Spice girl in the coop
So sick, chicken soup
Walk in, kill the room
So sick, chicken soup
Chicken soup, chicken soup
Chicken soup, chicken soup
Chicken soup, chicken soup
Chicken soup, chicken soup
Chi-chi-chi-chi-chi-chi...

Spice girl in the coop

Spice girl in the coop
So sick, chicken soup
Walk in, kill the room
So sick, chicken soup
Spice girl in the coop
So sick, chicken soup
Walk in, kill the room
So sick, chicken soup

Chicken soup
Chicken soup
Chicken soup
Chicken soup

 

Skrillex has electrified the Burgh a grand total of 3 times.  Never seen him.

The Big Lie 100: (#1099)

#1938.  Amanda Chase (Leather and Lace --- Stevie Nicks)

 

#1939.  Wagner Group (Chicken Soup --- Skrillex)

Please do not share this material with Yevegny Prigohzin, Vladimir Putin, and/or former President Donald J. Trump.

#1938. Amanda Chase

MAGA zealot & Trump sycophant Amanda Chase lost her Virginia Republican primary race for State Senate.

 

Glenn Sturtevant    39.9%    8,833

Amanda Chase       37.8%    8,367

Tina Ramirez          22.4%    4,956

Chase is taking a page out of the Orange Prolapse playbook.  Except she's claiming voter fraud in the primary election, not the general.  It's called "sore loser" syndrome.  As in her asshole is sore.

Smithfield St.

Shitsburgh!

 

Amanda Chase
sonofsaf

Is Trump an asshole
Fat fuck you should not blow
Shits out the turds
Fills everyone with sorrow
Not praying that asshole
Christianity
Oh so homely
Worshipping
Stormy D.

Trump has a MILF wife
His dick’s not longer
Doncha blow
And he will stop the stealing
DeSantis hates Mickey Mouse
Melania’s sucking like a whore
Still he will stop the stealing
DeSantis hates Mickey Mouse
Melania’s sucking like a whore

Disgruntled fucker
Basket case
Urinary fountains
Bullshit betray
Trump is the enemy
Trump is really gay
Gonna cheat whenever
Fake Stormy
Disgrace

MAGA the delight
With their creamy pies
An insurrection’s the plan you’ll see
They’re gonna fight
Oath Keepers in a whore house
Trump blew a faggot I believe
The crimes of a madman
The crimes will be shared
All the crimes denied
Daughter-wife is a Jew
Jared Kushner is white and light
The clown spreads big lies

Disgruntled fucker
Basket case
Urinary fountains
Bullshit betray
Trump is the enemy
Trump is really gay
Gonna cheat whenever
Fake Stormy
Disgrace

Disgruntled fucker
Basket case
Urinary fountains
Bullshit betray
Trump is the enemy
Trump is really gay
Gonna cheat whenever
Fake Stormy
Disgrace
Fake Stormy
Disgrace
Fake Stormy
Disgrace

 

Leather And Lace
Stevie Nicks

Is love so fragile
And the heart so hollow
Shatter with words
Impossible to follow
You're saying I'm fragile
I try not to be
I search only
For something
I can't see

I have my own life
And I am stronger
Than you know
But I carry this feeling
When you walked into my house
That you won't be walking out the door
Still I carry this feeling
When you walked into my house
That you won't be walking out the door

Lovers forever
Face to face
My city your mountains
Stay with me stay
I need you to love me
I need you today
Give to me your leather
Take from me
My lace

You in the moonlight
With your sleepy eyes
Could you ever love a man like me
And you were right
When I walked into your house
I knew I'd never want to leave
Sometimes I'm a strong man
Sometimes cold and scared
And sometimes I cry
But that time I saw you
I knew with you to light my nights
Somehow I'd get by

Lovers forever
Face to face
My city your mountains
Stay with me stay
I need you to love me
I need you today
Give to me your leather
Take from me
My lace

Lovers forever
Face to face
My city your mountains
Stay with me stay
I need you to love me
I need you today
Give to me your leather
Take from me
My lace
Take from me
My lace
Take from me
My lace

 

This parody's a little rough.  Choppy, fragmented lyrics don't help much.

From 1971 to 2018, Fleetwood Mac has played the Burgh a grand total of 18 times.

Fleetwood Mac:

9-27-97, Star Lake Amphitheater, Burgettstown, PA *

3-1-09, Mellon Arena, Pittsburgh, PA
4-26-13, Consol Energy Center, Pittsburgh, PA

10-14-14, Consol Energy Center, Pittsburgh, PA 

11-1-18, PPG Paints Arena, Pittsburgh, PA

Stevie Nicks:

7-6-01, Post-Gazette Pavilion, Burgettstown, PA

* One of my Top 10 all-time concerts.

The Big Lie 100: (#1099)

#1938.  Amanda Chase (Leather and Lace --- Stevie Nicks)

Please do not share this material with Amanda chase and/or former President Donald J. Trump.