#1925. Mister Rowley

Trump's top 2 lawyers recently ditched him.

James Trusty left, John Rowley center, Orange Prolapse right

They had serious doubts about their client's fundamental defense strategy.  "They're coming after me... so they can get to you!  But I'm standing in their way."  Incidentally, that particular argument is best made if you say it in a "Trumpy dumbshit" voice.

I sometimes wonder if any of my asymmetric, generational warfare concerns made the trek... to the vicinity of a Mar-A-Lago toilet. 

In other news, here's an incredibly rare "Saffy Selfie."

Taylor Swift set an Acrid Turd Stadium attendance record last night (73,117).

Let's Go Swifting!  2015 (the year I moved to Pittsburgh)

Before: Spotted directly outside Gate B.  6-17-23.

After: Spotted directly outside Gate B.  6-18-23.

The main takeaway being.... last night, some Swiftie became a Shitty.  Ahh, the innocence of youth.

Mister Rowley
sonofsaf

Mister Rowley, wishes Donald was dead
Oh, Mister Rowley, Donald Trump is inbred
All the while he acted so drastic
With a coup d’etat brawl
Stormy and her chest is so plastic
Hey, maybe he’d Better Call Saul

Mr. Harming, Ron DeSixweeks ma-nure*
The fetus farming, no abortions no more
Reproduction is so overrated
That’s for what it is worth
Believing the lies of his MAGA
Donald’s fatter than his McWorth

Mister Rowley, Trump’s a liar of course
Mister Rowley, Donald has no remorse
The tanning bed crimes of a faggot
His golden toilet stall
Stormy and her fake tits so plastic
Ranting that his penis is small

Trump wants to be president
He wants your dollars and cents
A job to blow, a job to blow no consent, yeah

 

Mr. Crowley
Ozzy Osbourne

Mr. Crowley, what went on in your head?
Oh, Mr. Crowley, did you talk to the dead?
Your life style to me seemed so tragic
With the thrill of it all
You fooled all the people with magic
Yeah, you waited on Satan's call

Mr. Charming, did you think you were pure?
Mr. Alarming, in nocturnal rapport
Uncovering things that were sacred
Manifest on this Earth
Conceived in the eye of a secret
And they scattered the afterbirth

Mr. Crowley, won't you ride my white horse?
Mr. Crowley, it's symbolic, of course
Approaching a time that is classic
I hear that maidens call
Approaching a time that is drastic
Standing with their backs to the wall

Was it polemically sent
l want to know what you meant
I want to know, I want to know what you meant, yeah

My 5th parody of the Ozzy classic.

#1065.  Adam Crowley (Pittsburgh sports fill-in for Super Genius Mark Madden)

#1066.  Dr. Crowley (Fox News host Monica Crowley)

#1434.  Mrs. Smiley (Tiffany Smiley, Republican candidate for U.S. Senate in the state of Washington)

#1511.  Clarence Thomas (a supreme embarrassment)

#1925.  Mr. Rowley (former Trump attorney)

Ozzy Osbourne has played the Burgh a grand total of 15 times.  He's probably the "highest profile heavy metal rocker" who has consistently eluded me.  Never seen him.

The Big Lie 100: (#1086)

#1740.  CPAC (Stand Back --- Stevie Nicks)

#1741.  CPAC's Frightnin' (Smokestack Lightnin' --- Grateful Dead)

#1742.  Hatin' Nate Schatzline (Lay It On the Line --- Triumph)

#1743.  Nate Schatzline (Hold The Line --- Toto)

#1744.*  Faking The Violence (Breaking The Silence --- Queensryche)

#1745.  Treason He's A Cunt (Seasons In The Sun --- Terry Jacks)

#1746.  Tucker (Fucker --- Brian Jonestown Massacre)

#1747.  Lake's My Enemy (Cake And Sodomy --- Marilyn Manson)

#1748.  Newt (Cute --- Bobby Darrin)

#1749.  Donald Trump Is Gay (Take My Breath Away --- Berlin)

#1750.  Markwayne Mullin (Cocaine And Gin --- Kid Rock)

#1751.  Stormy's Better (Stormy Weather --- Billie Holiday)

#1752.  Stormy's Wetter (Stormy Weather --- The Pixies)

#1753.  Bell (Hell --- Foo Fighters)

#1754.  Will Will Slap You (We Will Rock You --- Queen)

#1755.  Donald Trump's a Cunt (On The Wings Of Love --- Jeffrey Osbourne)

#1756.  Donald Is A Child (Bad Boys Running Wild --- Scorpions)

#1757.  Donald's A Child (Running Wild --- Judas Priest)

#1758.  McConnell (Raising Hell --- Tom Morello & Ben Harper)

#1759.  ... Jim Justice Asshole (... And Justice For All --- Metallica) 

#1760.  Mike Pence Is Shit (Don't Fence Me In --- Willie Nelson)

#1761.  Blum (Dumb --- Nirvana)

#1762.  Charlie Kirk Sold Out (We Can Work It Out --- The Beatles)

#1763.  Xi Fucks You (She Loves You --- The Beatles)

#1764.  Has Been Chip Roy (Seek And Destroy --- Metallica)

#1765.  Steil (Smile -- Pearl Jam)

#1766.  Congressman Steil's Critical Race (God Put A Smile Upon Your Face --- Coldplay)

#1767.  Steil's A Liar (Trial By Fire --- Testament)

#1768.  Xi's Fucking Trump's Wife (She's Out Of My Life --- Michael Jackson)

#1769.  His Name Is Dave Williams (How I Made My Millions --- Radiohead)

#1770.  Xi Jinping's A Basket Case (Everything In Its Right Place --- Radiohead)

#1771.  Hovde Will Fuck You (Lovely To See You --- Moody Blues)

#1772.  Jim Justice (Seed Justice --- Neil Young)

#1773.  Steil (Smile --- Michael Jackson)

#1774.  Xi Jinping's Dead (Everything Zen --- Bush)

#1775.  Robinson (Machine Gun --- The Commodores)

#1776.  Donald's An Orange Prolapse Fart (Owner Of A Lonely Heart --- Yes)

#1777.  Nashville Isn't Lucky (Nashville to Kentucky --- My Morning Jacket)

#1778.  Tennessee Dead (Tennessee Jed --- Grateful Dead)

#1779.  Tim Burchett's Shitty (Suffragette City --- David Bowie)

#1780.  On Fox News Sean Hannity (The Frayed Ends Of Sanity --- Metallica)

#1781.  What The Fuck (Thunderstruck --- AC/DC)

#1782.  Indicted (United --- Judas Priest)

#1783.  Indicted Cunt (United Blood --- Agnostic Front)

#1784.  Indicted Not Long (United And Strong --- Agnostic Front)

#1785.  Indicted As Planned (United We Stand --- Elton John)

#1786.  Why Do Proud Boys Need More Dildos (Are There Any More Real Cowboys --- Neil Young)

#1787.  Don't Lie For Trump Tacopina (Don't Cry For Me Argentina --- Madonna)

#1788.  Moore's A Shit Show (More Than You Know --- Eddie Vedder)

#1789.  Asshole Of Obscenity (Centre Of Eternity --- Ozzy Osbourne) 

#1790.  Hutchinson (One By One --- Neil Diamond)

#1791.  Treason Of Jim Justice (Seasons In The Abyss --- Slayer)

#1792.  Hutchinson (Number One --- Laid Back)

#1793.  James Comer (The Loner --- Neil Young)

#1794.  Taylor Greene (Billie Jean --- Michael Jackson)

#1795.  Douglas Burgum (Here Comes The Sun --- The Beatles)

#1796.  Bill Barr (Ya Mar --- Phish)

#1797.  Cotham's Shit-Stained Face (Awesome In This Place --- Tricia Cotham)

#1798.  Katie's Shittin' (Baby Sittin' --- Carole King)

#1799.  Asshole LaPierre (Back Door Love Affair --- ZZ Top)

#1800.  Senator Daines (Breaking The Chains --- Dokken)

#1801.  LaPierre Pride (Delaware Slide --- George Thorogood)

#1802.  Tricia Cotham (Apple Blossom --- White Stripes)

#1803.  Jeff Roe (Death Row --- Chris Stapleton)

#1807.  Trusty's Rage (Rusty Cage --- Soundgarden)

#1808.  Taylor Greene (Shirley Green --- Foghat)

#1809.  Jeff Roe (Hello --- Lionel Richie)

#1810.  Ohio's Moreno (Avenu Malkenu --- Phish)

#1811.  45 Love Affair ('65 Love Affair --- Paul Davis)

#1812.  Warthog (Hound Dog --- Elvis Presley)

#1813.  Kristi Noem (Kodachrome --- Paul Simon & Art Garfunkel)

#1814.  Warthog (Hot Dog --- Led Zeppelin)

#1815.  Jared Kushner Is A Jew (Only Wanna Be With You --- Hootie & The Blowfish)

#1816.  Kristi Noem (Hell Is Chrome --- Wilco)

#1817.  Taylor Greene (Polly Jean --- Toadies)

#1818.  Jeff Roe (Hello --- Electric Light Orchestra)

#1819.  Christie (Misty --- Johnny Mathis)

#1820.  Swing State (I'm Late --- Bill Thompson)

#1821.  SpaceX (Spaceboy --- Smashing Pumpkins)

#1822.  We Are The Trumpers (We Are The World --- USA For Africa)

#1823.  Twitter Fuck (Thunderstruck --- AC/DC) 

#1824.  Kelly Cunt (Belly Love - The Kooks)

#1825.  Mike Lindell (Burn In Hell --- Twisted Sister)

#1826.  George Santos (Small Doses --- Travis Tritt)

#1827.  Trump Is The Enemy (What Do You Want From Me --- Pink Floyd)

#1828.  Sheriff Joe (Mexico --- Neil Young)

#1829.  Sheriff Joe (Mexico --- Merle Haggard)

#1830.  Fucking Tool Tate Reeves (What A Fool Believes --- Doobie Brothers) 

#1831.  Taylor Greene (Creeping Jean --- The Kinks)

#1832.  Noem (Chrome --- Joe Jackson)

#1833.  Fuck Huckabee's Koozies (Wake Up Little Suzie --- Grateful Dead)

#1834.  Sheriff Joe (Mexico --- Cake)

#1835.  Taylor Greene (Amber Jean --- Neil Young)

#1836.  Steven Daines (Astral Planes --- Smashing Pumpkins)

#1837.  Jim (Jim --- Faith No More)

#1838.  Daines (Chains --- The Beatles)

#1839.  Conaway (Day By Day --- The Hooters)

#1840.  Trump's Devout (Steppin' Out --- Joe Jackson)

#1841.  Daines The Enemy (Chains Of Misery --- Iron Maiden)

#1842.  Donald Trump Is Dead (We Are Motorhead --- Motorhead)

#1843.  Spencer Cox (Heart-Shaped Box --- Nirvana)

#1844.  Rejected (Elected --- Alice Cooper)

#1845.  Red Devil (Cold Ethyl --- Alice Cooper)

#1846.  Only Donald Feeds (Only Women Bleed --- Alice Cooper)

#1847.  Bruce (Deuce --- The Cardigans)

#1848.  Scott Is So Shitty (Hot In The City --- Billy Idol)

#1849.  Bruce (Deuce --- Kiss)

#1850.  That Drone Wasn't From Ukraine  (Have You Ever Seen The Rain --- Creedence Clearwater Revival)

#1851.  Who'll Stop Ukraine (Who'll Stop The Rain --- Creedence Clearwater Revival)

#1852.  Selena Chambers (The Entertainer --- Billy Joel)

#1853.  Here Cum Proud Boys (Here Come Cowboys --- Psychadelic Furs)

#1854.  Blame It On Ukraine (Blame It On The Rain --- Milli Vanilli)

#1855.  A Coronation (My Generation --- The Who)

#1856.  Coronation (Celebration --- Kool And The Gang)

#1857.  Mamas Don't Let Your Babies Grow Up To Be Proud Boys (Mamas Don't Let Your Babies Grow Up To Cowboys --- Willie Nelson)

#1858.  Be Best Plan (Sharp Dressed Man --- ZZ Top)

#1859.  Allen, Texas (Pearl Necklace --- ZZ Top)

#1860.  Coronations (Revelations --- Iron Maiden)

#1861.  AR-15 (The Drunkk Machine --- Thom Yorke)

#1862.  Be Best With Hate (Possessed To Skate --- Suicidal Tendencies)

#1863.  AR-15 (Killing Machine --- L.A. Guns)

#1864.  Russia's In Ukraine (Shadows In The Rain --- The Police)

#1865.  Be Best (Go West --- The Village People) 

#1866. AR-15 (Woman Machine --- Alice Cooper)

#1867.  AR-15 (Fuck You) --- (A New Machine (Part II) --- Pink Floyd)

#1868.  (We Don't Want No) Ronny Jackson (I Can't Get No) Satisfaction --- Rolling Stones)

#1869.  Penny And The Death (Bennie And The Jets --- Elton John)

#1870.  Prolapse Fart (Hungry Heart --- Bruce Springsteen)

#1871.  AR-15 (Age Of Machine --- Greta Van Fleet)

#1872.  McCullough (Calcutta --- Warren Zevon)

#1873.  The Weirdos Have Always Been Proud Boys (My Heroes Have Always Been Cowboys --- Willie Nelson)

#1874.  Gay Knipper (Day Tripper --- The Beatles)

#1875.  Greene's Inbred (Jean Is Dead --- The Descendants)

#1876.  Gonna Blame It On Ukraine (Only Happy When It Rains --- Garbage)

#1877.  Tik Tok (Locked In --- Judas Priest)

#1878.  The Diss (The Kiss --- The Cure)

#1879.  Jon Voight Is Shitty (Detroit Rock City --- Kiss)

#1880.  Christie's Gay You Will Discover (Fifty Ways To Leave Your Lover --- Paul Simon)

#1881.  Youngkin (Skin Thin --- Ben Harper)

#1882.  Orange Prolapse Stain (Who'll Stop The Rain --- Creedence Clearwater Revival)

#1883.  Unhinged MTG (Unchained Melody --- U2)

#1884.  Be Best (Go West --- Brooks and Dunn)

#1885.  Steven Daines (Lovin' Chains --- Chicago)

#1886.  Jared Kushner's A Fucking Jew (I Hate Myself For Loving You --- Joan Jett & The Blackhearts)

#1887.  Epshtyen, Boris (Wordless Chorus --- My Morning Jacket) 

#1888.  Youngkin's Not A Jew (Thinkin' About You --- Radiohead)

#1889.  Huckabee (Company --- America)

#1890.  Cuccinelli (Smelly Nelly --- Krokus)

#1891.  Greg Gianforte (Let's Go All The Way --- Sly Fox)

#1892.  Gianforte (Election Day --- The Replacements)

#1893.  No Transgender (No Surrender --- Bruce Springsteen)

#1894.  Big Chest (The Best --- Tina Turner)

#1895.  Kristi Noem, Elmer Rhodes (Take Me Home, Country Roads --- Brad Paisley)

#1896.  Rhodes Less Traveled (Roads Untraveled --- Linkin' Park)

#1897.  Gianforte (Election Day --- Arcadia)

#1898.  Putin (Lukin --- Pearl Jam)

#1899.  Higgins A Pervert (Digging In The Dirt --- Peter Gabriel)

#1900.  Paxton's A Clown (Relaxing Town --- Stephen Stills)

#1901.  Beat Up Ken Paxton (Piece Of Your Action --- Motley Crue)

#1902.  Christie (Misty --- Ella Fitzgerald)

#1903.  Chris (Piss --- Pantera)

#1904.  Rubio (Even Flow --- Pearl Jam)

#1905.  Jared's A Jew (Into The Groove --- Madonna)

#1906.  Not A Jew (Stella Blue --- Grateful Dead)

#1907.  Monahan (Middle Man --- Living Colour)

#1908.  Monahan (Superman --- R.E.M.)

#1909.  Here Cums DeWine (Here Comes Sunshine --- Grateful Dead)

#1910.  Putin (Wilson --- Phish)

#1911.  The Insurrection (In Your Direction --- Ratt)

#1912.  Shittin' On Mike Pence (Sittin' On A Fence ---  Rolling Stones)

#1913.  Trump's Insurrection (Love And Affection --- Def Leppard)

#1914.  Indict (First Light --- My Morning Jacket)

#1915.  Indict Bud Light (Tonight's The Night --- Neil Young)

#1916.  Mr. Christie (Mr. Charlie --- Grateful Dead)

#1917.  Paxton (Action --- Scorpions)

#1918.  Monahan (Better Man --- Pearl Jam)

#1919.  Trump's So Indicted (I'm So Excited --- Pointer Sisters)

#1920.  Lake's A Disease (Fake Plastic Trees --- Radiohead)

#1921.  Kushner's A Jew (It Hurts Me Too --- Grateful Dead)

#1922.  Judge Cannon (Loose Cannon --- Killing Joke)

#1923.  Take It Off (Shake It Off --- Taylor Swift)

#1924.  Suarez (Jane Says --- Jane's Addiction)

#1925.  Mister Rowley (Mister Crowley --- Ozzy Osbourne)

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Please do not share this material with former Trump attorney John Rowley and/or former President Donald J. Trump.