#1880. Christie's Gay You Will Discover

Former Republican New Jersey Gov. Chris Christie is preparing to announce his entrance into the 2024 GOP presidential race “in the coming days,” according to a report.

I suspect the Orange Prolapse will respond by posting "sloppy homo" videos such as this one...

and maybe a deep fake or two.

So Saf, do you have an "arsenal" of conceptual deep fake videos that would irrevocably eradicate the entire Republican party in 2024?  Uh yeah, that would be an affirmative.

All of them utilize hot button issues.  Mostly involving the economic consequences regarding abortion rights, crime/mass shootings and immigration.  The irony here is that you don't even need 'em.

Beware though!  There will inevitably be a decentralized, internet driven, artificial intelligence mass casualty event.  One that would force an abrupt  Biden resignation and drastically alter the 2024 election cycle.  Hint: Everyone has a cell phone. 

I often wonder... why is it that I am the only person on the planet who can see it coming? 

 

Christie’s Gay You Will Discover
sonofsaf

A gollum is a monster of dread
And density
His daughter-wife’s a fucking Jew
A bullshit travesty
And Stormy’s tits he wants to juggle
Double D
Governor Christie’s gay
You will discover

His orange face a disgrace and fucked up attitude
Asshole’s sore from a demeaning
Salad tossed and dildo used
Donald can go to hell
Trump’s a fucked up evil dude
Governor Christie’s gay
You will discover
Governor Christie’s gay you will discover

Orange is the new black, jack
Coup d’etat plan, man
He’s got a dildo toy, oy
Stick it inside me
He’s gonna fuck, us
And he might wanna suck us
He’s the double “C,” see
Trump’s new enemy

Orange the new black, jack
Coup d’etat plan, man
He’s got a dildo toy, oy
Stick it inside me
He’s gonna fuck, us
And he might wanna suck us
He’s the double “C,” see
Trump’s new enemy

Donald his job to blow
Leave an Orange Prolapse stain
Jared Kushner is a stupid Jew
An asshole and a pain
His father-in-law is so fat
McDonald’s the weight gain
No doubt Chris Christie’s gay

Incapable of growth
An oranger shade of white
Stormy Daniels was a whore
Mega-titted bitch that’s right
Thirty six DD
Forty-five and his Proud Boys still wanna fight
Governor Christie’s gay
You will discover
Christie’s gay you will discover

Orange is the new black, jack
Coup d’etat plan, man
He’s got a dildo toy, oy
Stick it inside me
He’s gonna fuck, us
And he might wanna suck us
He’s the double “C,” see
Trump’s new enemy

Orange the new black, Jack
Coup d’etat plan, man
He’s got a dildo toy, oy
Stick it inside me
He’s gonna fuck, us
And he might wanna suck us
He’s the double “C,” see
Trump’s new enemy

 

Fifty Ways To Leave Your Lover
Paul Simon

"The problem is all inside your head"
She said to me
"The answer is easy if you
Take it logically
I'd like to help you in your struggle
To be free
There must be fifty ways
To leave your lover"

She said, "It's really not my habit to intrude
Furthermore, I hope my meaning
Won't be lost or misconstrued
But I'll repeat myself
At the risk of being crude
There must be fifty ways
To leave your lover
Fifty ways to leave your lover"

You just slip out the back, Jack
Make a new plan, Stan
You don't need to be coy, Roy
Just get yourself free
Hop on the bus, Gus
You don't need to discuss much
Just drop off the key, Lee
And get yourself free

Ooh, slip out the back, Jack
Make a new plan, Stan
You don't need to be coy, Roy
Just listen to me
Hop on the bus, Gus
You don't need to discuss much
Just drop off the key, Lee
And get yourself free

She said, "It grieves me so
To see you in such pain
I wish there was something I could do
To make you smile again"
I said, "I appreciate that
And would you please explain
About the fifty ways?"

She said, "Why don't we both
Just sleep on it tonight
And I believe in the morning
You'll begin to see the light"
And then she kissed me
And I realized she probably was right
There must be fifty ways
To leave your lover
Fifty ways to leave your lover

You just slip out the back, Jack
Make a new plan, Stan
You don't need to be coy, Roy
Just get yourself free
Hop on the bus, Gus
You don't need to discuss much
Just drop off the key, Lee
And get yourself free

Slip out the back, Jack
Make a new plan, Stan
You don't need to be coy, Roy
Just listen to me
Hop on the bus, Gus
You don't need to discuss much
Just drop off the key, Lee
And get yourself free

 

Challenging parody.  Though I think I did it justice.

From 1965 to 2018, Paul Simon has played The Burgh a grand total of 9 times.

Paul Simon:

7-18-99, Star Lake Amphitheater, Burgettstown, PA

7-8-01, Post-Gazette Pavilion, Burgettstown, PA

6-16-04, Mellon Arena, Pittsburgh, PA (w/ Art Garfunkel)

9-7-18, PPG Paints Arena, Pittsburgh, PA

The Big Lie 100: (#1040)

#1740.  CPAC (Stand Back --- Stevie Nicks)

#1741.  CPAC's Frightnin' (Smokestack Lightnin' --- Grateful Dead)

#1742.  Hatin' Nate Schatzline (Lay It On the Line --- Triumph)

#1743.  Nate Schatzline (Hold The Line --- Toto)

#1744.*  Faking The Violence (Breaking The Silence --- Queensryche)

#1745.  Treason He's A Cunt (Seasons In The Sun --- Terry Jacks)

#1746.  Tucker (Fucker --- Brian Jonestown Massacre)

#1747.  Lake's My Enemy (Cake And Sodomy --- Marilyn Manson)

#1748.  Newt (Cute --- Bobby Darrin)

#1749.  Donald Trump Is Gay (Take My Breath Away --- Berlin)

#1750.  Markwayne Mullin (Cocaine And Gin --- Kid Rock)

#1751.  Stormy's Better (Stormy Weather --- Billie Holiday)

#1752.  Stormy's Wetter (Stormy Weather --- The Pixies)

#1753.  Bell (Hell --- Foo Fighters)

#1754.  Will Will Slap You (We Will Rock You --- Queen)

#1755.  Donald Trump's a Cunt (On The Wings Of Love --- Jeffrey Osbourne)

#1756.  Donald Is A Child (Bad Boys Running Wild --- Scorpions)

#1757.  Donald's A Child (Running Wild --- Judas Priest)

#1758.  McConnell (Raising Hell --- Tom Morello & Ben Harper)

#1759.  ... Jim Justice Asshole (... And Justice For All --- Metallica) 

#1760.  Mike Pence Is Shit (Don't Fence Me In --- Willie Nelson)

#1761.  Blum (Dumb --- Nirvana)

#1762.  Charlie Kirk Sold Out (We Can Work It Out --- The Beatles)

#1763.  Xi Fucks You (She Loves You --- The Beatles)

#1764.  Has Been Chip Roy (Seek And Destroy --- Metallica)

#1765.  Steil (Smile -- Pearl Jam)

#1766.  Congressman Steil's Critical Race (God Put A Smile Upon Your Face --- Coldplay)

#1767.  Steil's A Liar (Trial By Fire --- Testament)

#1768.  Xi's Fucking Trump's Wife (She's Out Of My Life --- Michael Jackson)

#1769.  His Name Is Dave Williams (How I Made My Millions --- Radiohead)

#1770.  Xi Jinping's A Basket Case (Everything In Its Right Place --- Radiohead)

#1771.  Hovde Will Fuck You (Lovely To See You --- Moody Blues)

#1772.  Jim Justice (Seed Justice --- Neil Young)

#1773.  Steil (Smile --- Michael Jackson)

#1774.  Xi Jinping's Dead (Everything Zen --- Bush)

#1775.  Robinson (Machine Gun --- The Commodores)

#1776.  Donald's An Orange Prolapse Fart (Owner Of A Lonely Heart --- Yes)

#1777.  Nashville Isn't Lucky (Nashville to Kentucky --- My Morning Jacket)

#1778.  Tennessee Dead (Tennessee Jed --- Grateful Dead)

#1779.  Tim Burchett's Shitty (Suffragette City --- David Bowie)

#1780.  On Fox News Sean Hannity (The Frayed Ends Of Sanity --- Metallica)

#1781.  What The Fuck (Thunderstruck --- AC/DC)

#1782.  Indicted (United --- Judas Priest)

#1783.  Indicted Cunt (United Blood --- Agnostic Front)

#1784.  Indicted Not Long (United And Strong --- Agnostic Front)

#1785.  Indicted As Planned (United We Stand --- Elton John)

#1786.  Why Do Proud Boys Need More Dildos (Are There Any More Real Cowboys --- Neil Young)

#1787.  Don't Lie For Trump Tacopina (Don't Cry For Me Argentina --- Madonna)

#1788.  Moore's A Shit Show (More Than You Know --- Eddie Vedder)

#1789.  Asshole Of Obscenity (Centre Of Eternity --- Ozzy Osbourne) 

#1790.  Hutchinson (One By One --- Neil Diamond)

#1791.  Treason Of Jim Justice (Seasons In The Abyss --- Slayer)

#1792.  Hutchinson (Number One --- Laid Back)

#1793.  James Comer (The Loner --- Neil Young)

#1794.  Taylor Greene (Billie Jean --- Michael Jackson)

#1795.  Douglas Burgum (Here Comes The Sun --- The Beatles)

#1796.  Bill Barr (Ya Mar --- Phish)

#1797.  Cotham's Shit-Stained Face (Awesome In This Place --- Tricia Cotham)

#1798.  Katie's Shittin' (Baby Sittin' --- Carole King)

#1799.  Asshole LaPierre (Back Door Love Affair --- ZZ Top)

#1800.  Senator Daines (Breaking The Chains --- Dokken)

#1801.  LaPierre Pride (Delaware Slide --- George Thorogood)

#1802.  Tricia Cotham (Apple Blossom --- White Stripes)

#1803.  Jeff Roe (Death Row --- Chris Stapleton)

#1807.  Trusty's Rage (Rusty Cage --- Soundgarden)

#1808.  Taylor Greene (Shirley Green --- Foghat)

#1809.  Jeff Roe (Hello --- Lionel Richie)

#1810.  Ohio's Moreno (Avenu Malkenu --- Phish)

#1811.  45 Love Affair ('65 Love Affair --- Paul Davis)

#1812.  Warthog (Hound Dog --- Elvis Presley)

#1813.  Kristi Noem (Kodachrome --- Paul Simon & Art Garfunkel)

#1814.  Warthog (Hot Dog --- Led Zeppelin)

#1815.  Jared Kushner Is A Jew (Only Wanna Be With You --- Hootie & The Blowfish)

#1816.  Kristi Noem (Hell Is Chrome --- Wilco)

#1817.  Taylor Greene (Polly Jean --- Toadies)

#1818.  Jeff Roe (Hello --- Electric Light Orchestra)

#1819.  Christie (Misty --- Johnny Mathis)

#1820.  Swing State (I'm Late --- Bill Thompson)

#1821.  SpaceX (Spaceboy --- Smashing Pumpkins)

#1822.  We Are The Trumpers (We Are The World --- USA For Africa)

#1823.  Twitter Fuck (Thunderstruck --- AC/DC) 

#1824.  Kelly Cunt (Belly Love - The Kooks)

#1825.  Mike Lindell (Burn In Hell --- Twisted Sister)

#1826.  George Santos (Small Doses --- Travis Tritt)

#1827.  Trump Is The Enemy (What Do You Want From Me --- Pink Floyd)

#1828.  Sheriff Joe (Mexico --- Neil Young)

#1829.  Sheriff Joe (Mexico --- Merle Haggard)

#1830.  Fucking Tool Tate Reeves (What A Fool Believes --- Doobie Brothers) 

#1831.  Taylor Greene (Creeping Jean --- The Kinks)

#1832.  Noem (Chrome --- Joe Jackson)

#1833.  Fuck Huckabee's Koozies (Wake Up Little Suzie --- Grateful Dead)

#1834.  Sheriff Joe (Mexico --- Cake)

#1835.  Taylor Greene (Amber Jean --- Neil Young)

#1836.  Steven Daines (Astral Planes --- Smashing Pumpkins)

#1837.  Jim (Jim --- Faith No More)

#1838.  Daines (Chains --- The Beatles)

#1839.  Conaway (Day By Day --- The Hooters)

#1840.  Trump's Devout (Steppin' Out --- Joe Jackson)

#1841.  Daines The Enemy (Chains Of Misery --- Iron Maiden)

#1842.  Donald Trump Is Dead (We Are Motorhead --- Motorhead)

#1843.  Spencer Cox (Heart-Shaped Box --- Nirvana)

#1844.  Rejected (Elected --- Alice Cooper)

#1845.  Red Devil (Cold Ethyl --- Alice Cooper)

#1846.  Only Donald Feeds (Only Women Bleed --- Alice Cooper)

#1847.  Bruce (Deuce --- The Cardigans)

#1848.  Scott Is So Shitty (Hot In The City --- Billy Idol)

#1849.  Bruce (Deuce --- Kiss)

#1850.  That Drone Wasn't From Ukraine  (Have You Ever Seen The Rain --- Creedence Clearwater Revival)

#1851.  Who'll Stop Ukraine (Who'll Stop The Rain --- Creedence Clearwater Revival)

#1852.  Selena Chambers (The Entertainer --- Billy Joel)

#1853.  Here Cum Proud Boys (Here Come Cowboys --- Psychadelic Furs)

#1854.  Blame It On Ukraine (Blame It On The Rain --- Milli Vanilli)

#1855.  A Coronation (My Generation --- The Who)

#1856.  Coronation (Celebration --- Kool And The Gang)

#1857.  Mamas Don't Let Your Babies Grow Up To Be Proud Boys (Mamas Don't Let Your Babies Grow Up To Cowboys --- Willie Nelson)

#1858.  Be Best Plan (Sharp Dressed Man --- ZZ Top)

#1859.  Allen, Texas (Pearl Necklace --- ZZ Top)

#1860.  Coronations (Revelations --- Iron Maiden)

#1861.  AR-15 (The Drunkk Machine --- Thom Yorke)

#1862.  Be Best With Hate (Possessed To Skate --- Suicidal Tendencies)

#1863.  AR-15 (Killing Machine --- L.A. Guns)

#1864.  Russia's In Ukraine (Shadows In The Rain --- The Police)

#1865.  Be Best (Go West --- The Village People) 

#1866. AR-15 (Woman Machine --- Alice Cooper)

#1867.  AR-15 (Fuck You) --- (A New Machine (Part II) --- Pink Floyd)

#1868.  (We Don't Want No) Ronny Jackson (I Can't Get No) Satisfaction --- Rolling Stones)

#1869.  Penny And The Death (Bennie And The Jets --- Elton John)

#1870.  Prolapse Fart (Hungry Heart --- Bruce Springsteen)

#1871.  AR-15 (Age Of Machine --- Greta Van Fleet)

#1872.  McCullough (Calcutta --- Warren Zevon)

#1873.  The Weirdos Have Always Been Proud Boys (My Heroes Have Always Been Cowboys --- Willie Nelson)

#1874.  Gay Knipper (Day Tripper --- The Beatles)

#1875.  Greene's Inbred (Jean Is Dead --- The Descendants)

#1876.  Gonna Blame It On Ukraine (Only Happy When It Rains --- Garbage)

#1877.  Tik Tok (Locked In --- Judas Priest)

#1878.  The Diss (The Kiss --- The Cure)

#1879.  Jon Voight Is Shitty (Detroit Rock City --- Kiss)

#1880.  Christie's Gay You Will Discover (Fifty Ways To Leave Your Lover --- Paul Simon)

* - link unavailable.  Contact the internet for an appropriate explanation.

Please do not share this material with former New Jersey Governor Chris Christie and/or former President Donald J. Trump.