#1832. Noem

South Dakota Governor Kristi Noem doesn't kick sideways.  She kicks forward!

Hot off the heels of the NRA convention, Noem is back in the news.  As in Newsy Coozy!

 

Noem is bottom left.  Strictly for tailgating purposes, I prefer the more seasoned Kay Ivey koos on the bottom right.  Although it's more admittedly dry, crusty and parched.  As opposed to hot, wet and refreshing.

Truth be told, I'm actually in the process of making my very own line of koozies.

It's called "COOZ!"  Featuring neighbor Bruce Cusamano of the Sopranos.  And to a lesser extent his wife Jeannie.

Noem
sonofsaf

The Donald is a fucking cunt
He has no hair, total affront
The MAGA crowd and the far right
The Oath Keepers, they love to fight

I doubt his dick is very long
Daughter wife’s a Jew
Bat Mitzvah strong

South Dakota’s Noem
Governor that’s Kristi Noem
Send her the fuck back home
At least she ain’t a Jew
South Dakota’s Noem
Donald’s lard McDonald’s home
The pink slime and fake bald dome
Least he ain’t a Jew

Urinary pissing from hell
Satanic rage, devil to sell
He’s Barron’s dad, combined shit show
He’s fucking us
With a job to blow

A faggot queerly
More kosher swine
And Jared Kushner’s not outta line

South Dakota’s Noem
Governor that’s Kristi Noem
Send her the fuck back home
At least she ain’t a Jew
South Dakota’s Noem
Donald’s lard McDonald’s home
The pink slime and fake bald dome
Least he ain’t a Jew

 

Chrome
Joe Jackson

You always were the special one
The breath of air, the heap of fun
You always had a kind of light
That might dismay, or might delight

I thought about you all along
I used to doubt you
Guess I was wrong

Now you shine like chrome
You're a star and bold like chrome
And from Tokyo to Rome
We're all aware of you
Now you shine like chrome
You're so hard and cold like chrome
And I'd like to take you home
But I'm scared of you

It's nice to see you looking well
I know your age, but I won't tell
You always had a kind of glow
You're luminous
But I guess you know

I see it clearly
You're gonna shine
I never really thought you'd be mine

Now you shine like chrome
You're a star and bold like chrome
And from Tokyo to Rome
We're all aware of you
Now you shine like chrome
You're so hard and cold like chrome
And I'd like to take you home
But I'm scared of you

In all honesty, this ain't really one his better songs. 

From 1979 to 2018, Joe Jackson has played the Burgh a grand total of 6 times.  Never seen him.

Gnome Top 10:

#1.  Noem Sweet Noem: (Motley Crue --- Home Sweet Home)

#242.  Cumming Noem: (Scorpions --- Coming Home)

#249.  Sweet Noem South Dakota: (Lynyrd Skynyrd --- Sweet Home Alabama)

#301.  Welcome Noem Planetarium: (Metallica --- Welcome Home Sanitarium)

#302.  Who Says You Can't Blow Noem: (Bon Jovi --- Who Says You Can't Go Home)

#303.  Noem: (Daughtry --- Home)

#497.  Can't Stand Kristi Noem: (Blind Faith --- Can't Find My Way Home)

#515.  Fuck The Leech:  (Jane's Addiction --- Up The Beach)

#535.  Welcome Noem: (King Diamond --- Welcome Noem)

#536.  Noem: (Phish --- Foam)

#703.  Noem: (Unknown --- universal meditation mantra)

#704.  Asshole Noem: (Astrodome --- Houston ex-mayor, Roy Hofheinz)

#721.  I Haunt Kristi Noem (Me Want Honeycomb --- Post Mills marketing dept.)

#1009.  Noem (Home --- Foo Fighters)

#1319.  Kristi Noem's, Cunt Explodes (Take Me Home Country Roads --- John Denver)

#1813.  Kristi Noem (Kodachrome --- Paul Simon)

#1816.  Kristi Noem (Hell Is Chrome --- Wilco)

#1823.  Noem (Chrome --- Joe Jackson)

The Big Lie 100: (#992)

#1740.  CPAC (Stand Back --- Stevie Nicks)

#1741.  CPAC's Frightnin' (Smokestack Lightnin' --- Grateful Dead)

#1742.  Hatin' Nate Schatzline (Lay It On the Line --- Triumph)

#1743.  Nate Schatzline (Hold The Line --- Toto)

#1744.*  Faking The Violence (Breaking The Silence --- Queensryche)

#1745.  Treason He's A Cunt (Seasons In The Sun --- Terry Jacks)

#1746.  Tucker (Fucker --- Brian Jonestown Massacre)

#1747.  Lake's My Enemy (Cake And Sodomy --- Marilyn Manson)

#1748.  Newt (Cute --- Bobby Darrin)

#1749.  Donald Trump Is Gay (Take My Breath Away --- Berlin)

#1750.  Markwayne Mullin (Cocaine And Gin --- Kid Rock)

#1751.  Stormy's Better (Stormy Weather --- Bil    lie Holiday)

#1752.  Stormy's Wetter (Stormy Weather --- The Pixies)

#1753.  Bell (Hell --- Foo Fighters)

#1754.  Will Will Slap You (We Will Rock You --- Queen)

#1755.  Donald Trump's a Cunt (On The Wings Of Love --- Jeffrey Osbourne)

#1756.  Donald Is A Child (Bad Boys Running Wild --- Scorpions)

#1757.  Donald's A Child (Running Wild --- Judas Priest)

#1758.  McConnell (Raising Hell --- Tom Morello & Ben Harper)

#1759.  ... Jim Justice Asshole (... And Justice For All --- Metallica) 

#1760.  Mike Pence Is Shit (Don't Fence Me In --- Willie Nelson)

#1761.  Blum (Dumb --- Nirvana)

#1762.  Charlie Kirk Sold Out (We Can Work It Out --- The Beatles)

#1763.  Xi Fucks You (She Loves You --- The Beatles)

#1764.  Has Been Chip Roy (Seek And Destroy --- Metallica)

#1765.  Steil (Smile -- Pearl Jam)

#1766.  Congressman Steil's Critical Race (God Put A Smile Upon Your Face --- Coldplay)

#1767.  Steil's A Liar (Trial By Fire --- Testament)

#1768.  Xi's Fucking Trump's Wife (She's Out Of My Life --- Michael Jackson)

#1769.  His Name Is Dave Williams (How I Made My Millions --- Radiohead)

#1770.  Xi Jinping's A Basket Case (Everything In Its Right Place --- Radiohead)

#1771.  Hovde Will Fuck You (Lovely To See You --- Moody Blues)

#1772.  Jim Justice (Seed Justice --- Neil Young)

#1773.  Steil (Smile --- Michael Jackson)

#1774.  Xi Jinping's Dead (Everything Zen --- Bush)

#1775.  Robinson (Machine Gun --- The Commodores)

#1776.  Donald's An Orange Prolapse Fart (Owner Of A Lonely Heart --- Yes)

#1777.  Nashville Isn't Lucky (Nashville to Kentucky --- My Morning Jacket)

#1778.  Tennessee Dead (Tennessee Jed --- Grateful Dead)

#1779.  Tim Burchett's Shitty (Suffragette City --- David Bowie)

#1780.  On Fox News Sean Hannity (The Frayed Ends Of Sanity --- Metallica)

#1781.  What The Fuck (Thunderstruck --- AC/DC)

#1782.  Indicted (United --- Judas Priest)

#1783.  Indicted Cunt (United Blood --- Agnostic Front)

#1784.  Indicted Not Long (United And Strong --- Agnostic Front)

#1785.  Indicted As Planned (United We Stand --- Elton John)

#1786.  Why Do Proud Boys Need More Dildos (Are There Any More Real Cowboys --- Neil Young)

#1787.  Don't Lie For Trump Tacopina (Don't Cry For Me Argentina --- Madonna)

#1788.  Moore's A Shit Show (More Than You Know --- Eddie Vedder)

#1789.  Asshole Of Obscenity (Centre Of Eternity --- Ozzy Osbourne) 

#1790.  Hutchinson (One By One --- Neil Diamond)

#1791.  Treason Of Jim Justice (Seasons In The Abyss --- Slayer)

#1792.  Hutchinson (Number One --- Laid Back)

#1793.  James Comer (The Loner --- Neil Young)

#1794.  Taylor Greene (Billie Jean --- Michael Jackson)

#1795.  Douglas Burgum (Here Comes The Sun --- The Beatles)

#1796.  Bill Barr (Ya Mar --- Phish)

#1797.  Cotham's Shit-Stained Face (Awesome In This Place --- Tricia Cotham)

#1798.  Katie's Shittin' (Baby Sittin' --- Carole King)

#1799.  Asshole LaPierre (Back Door Love Affair --- ZZ Top)

#1800.  Senator Daines (Breaking The Chains --- Dokken)

#1801.  LaPierre Pride (Delaware Slide --- George Thorogood)

#1802.  Tricia Cotham (Apple Blossom --- White Stripes)

#1803.  Jeff Roe (Death Row --- Chris Stapleton)

#1807.  Trusty's Rage (Rusty Cage --- Soundgarden)

#1808.  Taylor Greene (Shirley Green --- Foghat)

#1809.  Jeff Roe (Hello --- Lionel Richie)

#1810.  Ohio's Moreno (Avenu Malkenu --- Phish)

#1811.  45 Love Affair ('65 Love Affair --- Paul Davis)

#1812.  Warthog (Hound Dog --- Elvis Presley)

#1813.  Kristi Noem (Kodachrome --- Paul Simon & Art Garfunkel)

#1814.  Warthog (Hot Dog --- Led Zeppelin)

#1815.  Jared Kushner Is A Jew (Only Wanna Be With You --- Hootie & The Blowfish)

#1816.  Kristi Noem (Hell Is Chrome --- Wilco)

#1817.  Taylor Greene (Polly Jean --- Toadies)

#1818.  Jeff Roe (Hello --- Electric Light Orchestra)

#1819.  Christie (Misty --- Johnny Mathis)

#1820.  Swing State (I'm Late --- Bill Thompson)

#1821.  SpaceX (Spaceboy --- Smashing Pumpkins)

#1822.  We Are The Trumpers (We Are The World --- USA For Africa)

#1823.  Twitter Fuck (Thunderstruck --- AC/DC) 

#1824.  Kelly Cunt (Belly Love - The Kooks)

#1825.  Mike Lindell (Burn In Hell --- Twisted Sister)

#1826.  George Santos (Small Doses --- Travis Tritt)

#1827.  Trump Is The Enemy (What Do You Want From Me --- Pink Floyd)

#1828.  Sheriff Joe (Mexico --- Neil Young)

#1829.  Sheriff Joe (Mexico --- Merle Haggard)

#1830.  Fucking Tool Tate Reeves (What A Fool Believes --- Doobie Brothers) 

#1831.  Taylor Greene (Creeping Jean --- The Kinks)

#1832.  Noem (Chrome --- Joe Jackson)

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Please do not share this material with Governor Kristi Noem (R-SD), Governor Sarah Huckabee Sanders (R-AR), Governor Kim Reynolds (R-IA), Governor Kay Ivey (R-AL), and/or former President Donald J. Trump.