#1814. Warthog

Forty-Five is releasing a 2nd round of Trump playing cards.

I am pleased to inform you that, due to the great success of my previously launched DIGITAL TRADING CARDS, we are doing it again, SERIES 2, AVAILABLE RIGHT NOW. GO TO collecttrumpcards.com. Have fun!

I hope everyone notices, & I’m sure the Fake News won’t, that I’m leaving the price of the Trading Cards the same as last time, even though they are selling for MANY TIMES MORE (It’s called the MARKET!), & sold out almost immediately, because I want my fans & supporters to make money, & have fun doing it. I could have raised the price MUCH HIGHER, & I believe it still would have sold well, with a lot more money coming to me, but I didn’t choose to do so. I WILL BE GIVEN NO “NICE GUY” CREDIT?

These trading cards effortlessly scroll across the screen.  Trump is a rock star.  Trump is Rambo.  Trump is navigating the Potomac during the Revolutionary War.

Though my favorite is the first one.  It's an Orange Prolapse physically hanging out... with his black lab.  Trump is grilling burgers and dogs for an excessively patriotic 4th of July backyard barbecue! 

However...

A. Trump has never owned a dog or any form of pet.

B.  Trump has never operated a grilling surface (neither propane nor charcoal).

C.  Trump would never physically serve less fortunate human beings food, beverage or sustenance.

Don't believe me?  Check the site.

Regardless, this parody's about Prosecutor Jack "Warthog" Smith.

 

 

Warthog
sonofsaf

Oh, Warthog!

Well Donald J. Trump’s a clown hooray
The Orange Prolapse is not okay
He fucked Stormy D. because she is a whore
Elf on a shelf that troll’s around
An emperor without a crown
His wife’s a MILF soft porno ain’t hardcore

The reason why I wrote this song
Ivanka’s cunt deserves a dong
Dildo to impart fuck her on the floor
Now ass cheeks apart and on her knees
Scum from Florida if you please
Donald’s daughter-wife her rectum’s really sore

Wow Ivanka’s thong meat curtains of a Jew
She stinks her cunt needs cock and so much more
Forty-five’s gonna run the world his shit is so impure
A combative wanna be king like a Bad King John encore

The Greene Prolapse is Taylor Greene
A piece of shit she’s so obscene
Facial expression cum dumpsters want some more
A butthole turd a toilet stall
Stormy D. is still on call
Butt her anus bulging is hardcore

Wow Ivanka’s thong meat curtains of a Jew
She stinks her cunt needs cock and so much more
Forty-five’s gonna run the world his shit is so impure
A combative wanna be king like the Bad King John encore

The Donald he is so fucked up
And doesn’t really give a fuck
Butt sex is a disaster anal whore
The Donald well he has a plan
Who the fuck is this fucking man
His soul controlled by MAGA’s civil war  
Oh yeah, soul controlled by MAGA’s civil war
Why, well, soul controlled by MAGA’s civil war

 

Hot Dog
Led Zeppelin

Oh, hot dog!

Well I just got into town today
To find my girl who's gone away
She took the Greyhound at the General Store
I searched myself I searched the town
When I finally did sit down
I find myself no wiser than before

She said we couldn't do no wrong
No other love could be so strong
She locked up my heart in her bottom drawer
Now she took my heart she took my keys
From in my old blue dungarees
And I'll never go to Texas anymore

Now my baby's gone I don't know what to do
She took my love and walked right out the door
And if I ever find that girl I know one thing for sure
I'm going to give her something like she never had before

I took her love at seventeen
A little late these days it seems
But they said heaven is well worth waiting for
I took her word I took it all
Beneath the sign that said "U-Haul"
She left angels hanging round for more

Now my baby's gone I don't know what to do
She took my love and walked right out the door
And if I ever find that girl I know one thing for sure
I'm going to give her something like she never had before

I thought I had it all sewn up
Our love, a plot, a pick-up truck
But folks said she was after something more
I never did quite understand
All that talk about rocking bands
But they just rolled my doll right out the door
Oh yeah, they just rolled my doll right out the door
Why, well, they just rolled my doll right out the door!

Favorite Zeppelin album?  Gotta go with Physical Graffiti.

Led Zeppelin:

3-25-95, Jimmy Page & Robert Plant, Civic Arena, Pittsburgh, PA
6-28-00, Jimmy Page w/ The Black Crowes, Post-Gazette Pavilion, Burgettstown, PA

The Big Lie 100: (#974)

#1740.  CPAC (Stand Back --- Stevie Nicks)

#1741.  CPAC's Frightnin' (Smokestack Lightnin' --- Grateful Dead)

#1742.  Hatin' Nate Schatzline (Lay It On the Line --- Triumph)

#1743.  Nate Schatzline (Hold The Line --- Toto)

#1744.*  Faking The Violence (Breaking The Silence --- Queensryche)

#1745.  Treason He's A Cunt (Seasons In The Sun --- Terry Jacks)

#1746.  Tucker (Fucker --- Brian Jonestown Massacre)

#1747.  Lake's My Enemy (Cake And Sodomy --- Marilyn Manson)

#1748.  Newt (Cute --- Bobby Darrin)

#1749.  Donald Trump Is Gay (Take My Breath Away --- Berlin)

#1750.  Markwayne Mullin (Cocaine And Gin --- Kid Rock)

#1751.  Stormy's Better (Stormy Weather --- Billie Holiday)

#1752.  Stormy's Wetter (Stormy Weather --- The Pixies)

#1753.  Bell (Hell --- Foo Fighters)

#1754.  Will Will Slap You (We Will Rock You --- Queen)

#1755.  Donald Trump's a Cunt (On The Wings Of Love --- Jeffrey Osbourne)

#1756.  Donald Is A Child (Bad Boys Running Wild --- Scorpions)

#1757.  Donald's A Child (Running Wild --- Judas Priest)

#1758.  McConnell (Raising Hell --- Tom Morello & Ben Harper)

#1759.  ... Jim Justice Asshole (... And Justice For All --- Metallica) 

#1760.  Mike Pence Is Shit (Don't Fence Me In --- Willie Nelson)

#1761.  Blum (Dumb --- Nirvana)

#1762.  Charlie Kirk Sold Out (We Can Work It Out --- The Beatles)

#1763.  Xi Fucks You (She Loves You --- The Beatles)

#1764.  Has Been Chip Roy (Seek And Destroy --- Metallica)

#1765.  Steil (Smile -- Pearl Jam)

#1766.  Congressman Steil's Critical Race (God Put A Smile Upon Your Face --- Coldplay)

#1767.  Steil's A Liar (Trial By Fire --- Testament)

#1768.  Xi's Fucking Trump's Wife (She's Out Of My Life --- Michael Jackson)

#1769.  His Name Is Dave Williams (How I Made My Millions --- Radiohead)

#1770.  Xi Jinping's A Basket Case (Everything In Its Right Place --- Radiohead)

#1771.  Hovde Will Fuck You (Lovely To See You --- Moody Blues)

#1772.  Jim Justice (Seed Justice --- Neil Young)

#1773.  Steil (Smile --- Michael Jackson)

#1774.  Xi Jinping's Dead (Everything Zen --- Bush)

#1775.  Robinson (Machine Gun --- The Commodores)

#1776.  Donald's An Orange Prolapse Fart (Owner Of A Lonely Heart --- Yes)

#1777.  Nashville Isn't Lucky (Nashville to Kentucky --- My Morning Jacket)

#1778.  Tennessee Dead (Tennessee Jed --- Grateful Dead)

#1779.  Tim Burchett's Shitty (Suffragette City --- David Bowie)

#1780.  On Fox News Sean Hannity (The Frayed Ends Of Sanity --- Metallica)

#1781.  What The Fuck (Thunderstruck --- AC/DC)

#1782.  Indicted (United --- Judas Priest)

#1783.  Indicted Cunt (United Blood --- Agnostic Front)

#1784.  Indicted Not Long (United And Strong --- Agnostic Front)

#1785.  Indicted As Planned (United We Stand --- Elton John)

#1786.  Why Do Proud Boys Need More Dildos (Are There Any More Real Cowboys --- Neil Young)

#1787.  Don't Lie For Trump Tacopina (Don't Cry For Me Argentina --- Madonna)

#1788.  Moore's A Shit Show (More Than You Know --- Eddie Vedder)

#1789.  Asshole Of Obscenity (Centre Of Eternity --- Ozzy Osbourne) 

#1790.  Hutchinson (One By One --- Neil Diamond)

#1791.  Treason Of Jim Justice (Seasons In The Abyss --- Slayer)

#1792.  Hutchinson (Number One --- Laid Back)

#1793.  James Comer (The Loner --- Neil Young)

#1794.  Taylor Greene (Billie Jean --- Michael Jackson)

#1795.  Douglas Burgum (Here Comes The Sun --- The Beatles)

#1796.  Bill Barr (Ya Mar --- Phish)

#1797.  Cotham's Shit-Stained Face (Awesome In This Place --- Tricia Cotham)

#1798.  Katie's Shittin' (Baby Sittin' --- Carole King)

#1799.  Asshole LaPierre (Back Door Love Affair --- ZZ Top)

#1800.  Senator Daines (Breaking The Chains --- Dokken)

#1801.  LaPierre Pride (Delaware Slide --- George Thorogood)

#1802.  Tricia Cotham (Apple Blossom --- White Stripes)

#1803.  Jeff Roe (Death Row --- Chris Stapleton)

#1807.  Trusty's Rage (Rusty Cage --- Soundgarden)

#1808.  Taylor Greene (Shirley Green --- Foghat)

#1809.  Jeff Roe (Hello --- Lionel Richie)

#1810.  Ohio's Moreno (Avenu Malkenu --- Phish)

#1811.  45 Love Affair ('65 Love Affair --- Paul Davis)

#1812.  Warthog (Hound Dog --- Elvis Presley)

#1813.  Kristi Noem (Kodachrome --- Paul Simon & Art Garfunkel)

#1814.  Warthog (Hot Dog --- Led Zeppelin)

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