#1859. Allen, Texas

Another day, another mass shooting.  As time goes by.

This one at a mall in Allen, Texas.  I've said it before and I'll say it again.  There's only 2 hypothetical scenarios for the GOP to effectively pivot away from the twisted grip of the NRA and its greed-inspired lust for AR-15s.

1.  A massacre of high profile Republicans, while seated at a continental breakfast, in a 5-star hotel lobby, next to the Fiserv Forum (2024 GOP convention in Milwaukee).

or

2.  A massacre of infants and nurses in an NICU (neo-natal intensive care unit).

But the sad truth?  The latter scenario wouldn't be enough.  They'd just call for heightened hospital security.  If decapitated 2nd graders don't cut it, why would innocent babies, clinging to their lives, make a difference?

My best advice is for more thoughts and prayers.  But with one specific caveat.  People need to pray harder.   Everyone has to pray harder.  Especially good Christians.  Not enough of them are praying hard enough.  Makes sense to me.

 

Allen, Texas
sonofsaf

Shooter’s no regret 2A defend
He’s gonna fuck ‘em like a dyke
His ammo is what’s in store
Shitshow better pray
Trump’s the king but he’s orange not white

Donald wants to cum
All over Stormy’s tits today
Because the Orange Prolapse is haunted
And Daniels’ twat is here to stay
They’re dead in Texas
They’re dead in Allen, Texas
They’re dead in Allen, Texas

Trump’s full of lard and he can’t grow a beard
Mail order wife’s deranged
Worst scenario is a Donald Trump king
World needs rearranged

Donald wants to cum
All over Stormy’s tits today
‘Cause it’s all a Be Best plan
But Daniels’ twat is here to stay
They’re dead in Texas
They’re dead in Allen, Texas
They’re dead in Allen, Texas

1-6 was rough, Capitol stampede and crush
And the tom foolery of the less devout
Oath Keepers and Proud Boys suck

Donald wants to cum
All over Stormy’s tits today
‘Cause it’s all a Be Best plan
But Daniels’ twat is here to stay
They’re dead in Texas
They’re dead in Allen, Texas
They’re dead in Allen, Texas

 

Pearl Necklace
ZZ Top

She's really upset with me again
I didn't give her what she likes
I don't know what to tell her
Don't know what to say
Everything got funky last night

She was really bombed
And I was really blown away
Until I asked her what she wanted
And this is what she had to say
A pearl necklace
She wanna pearl necklace
She wanna pearl necklace

She gets a charge out of bein' so weird
Digs gettin' downright strange
But I can keep a handle on anything
Just this side of deranged

She was gettin' bombed
And I was gettin' blown away
And she held it in her hand
And this is what she had to say
A pearl necklace
She wanna pearl necklace
She wanna pearl necklace

She is so tough, as pure as the driven slush
And that's not jewelry she's talkin' about
It really don't cost that much

She was gettin' bombed
And I was gettin' blown away
And she took it in her hand
And this is what she had to say
A pearl necklace
She wanna pearl necklace
She wanna pearl necklace

Challenging, choppy lyrics.

ZZ Top should consider playing my parody.  They'll be at Star Lake on September 3, 2023.  Men Without Hats has a free show at Hartwood Acres on the same night.  But we'll likely hit up the Top and Skynyrd.

One of my biggest pet peeves is when hillbillly/townie parents name their children after Texas cities.  Dallas, Houston, Austin, Tyler, and now.... Allen.  Although truth be told, I do kinda like the idea of a severely corpulent kid named Lubbock.  And a mentally ill kid named Waco.

Honest admission here.  My middle name is Alan.

Curious to see if this blog entry violates Google's "community standards."

ZZ Top:

4-19-86, Civic Center, Wheeling, WV

7-31-22, The Pavilion At Star Lake, Burgettstown, PA (Outlaw Music Festival)

The Big Lie 100: (#1019)

#1740.  CPAC (Stand Back --- Stevie Nicks)

#1741.  CPAC's Frightnin' (Smokestack Lightnin' --- Grateful Dead)

#1742.  Hatin' Nate Schatzline (Lay It On the Line --- Triumph)

#1743.  Nate Schatzline (Hold The Line --- Toto)

#1744.*  Faking The Violence (Breaking The Silence --- Queensryche)

#1745.  Treason He's A Cunt (Seasons In The Sun --- Terry Jacks)

#1746.  Tucker (Fucker --- Brian Jonestown Massacre)

#1747.  Lake's My Enemy (Cake And Sodomy --- Marilyn Manson)

#1748.  Newt (Cute --- Bobby Darrin)

#1749.  Donald Trump Is Gay (Take My Breath Away --- Berlin)

#1750.  Markwayne Mullin (Cocaine And Gin --- Kid Rock)

#1751.  Stormy's Better (Stormy Weather --- Billie Holiday)

#1752.  Stormy's Wetter (Stormy Weather --- The Pixies)

#1753.  Bell (Hell --- Foo Fighters)

#1754.  Will Will Slap You (We Will Rock You --- Queen)

#1755.  Donald Trump's a Cunt (On The Wings Of Love --- Jeffrey Osbourne)

#1756.  Donald Is A Child (Bad Boys Running Wild --- Scorpions)

#1757.  Donald's A Child (Running Wild --- Judas Priest)

#1758.  McConnell (Raising Hell --- Tom Morello & Ben Harper)

#1759.  ... Jim Justice Asshole (... And Justice For All --- Metallica) 

#1760.  Mike Pence Is Shit (Don't Fence Me In --- Willie Nelson)

#1761.  Blum (Dumb --- Nirvana)

#1762.  Charlie Kirk Sold Out (We Can Work It Out --- The Beatles)

#1763.  Xi Fucks You (She Loves You --- The Beatles)

#1764.  Has Been Chip Roy (Seek And Destroy --- Metallica)

#1765.  Steil (Smile -- Pearl Jam)

#1766.  Congressman Steil's Critical Race (God Put A Smile Upon Your Face --- Coldplay)

#1767.  Steil's A Liar (Trial By Fire --- Testament)

#1768.  Xi's Fucking Trump's Wife (She's Out Of My Life --- Michael Jackson)

#1769.  His Name Is Dave Williams (How I Made My Millions --- Radiohead)

#1770.  Xi Jinping's A Basket Case (Everything In Its Right Place --- Radiohead)

#1771.  Hovde Will Fuck You (Lovely To See You --- Moody Blues)

#1772.  Jim Justice (Seed Justice --- Neil Young)

#1773.  Steil (Smile --- Michael Jackson)

#1774.  Xi Jinping's Dead (Everything Zen --- Bush)

#1775.  Robinson (Machine Gun --- The Commodores)

#1776.  Donald's An Orange Prolapse Fart (Owner Of A Lonely Heart --- Yes)

#1777.  Nashville Isn't Lucky (Nashville to Kentucky --- My Morning Jacket)

#1778.  Tennessee Dead (Tennessee Jed --- Grateful Dead)

#1779.  Tim Burchett's Shitty (Suffragette City --- David Bowie)

#1780.  On Fox News Sean Hannity (The Frayed Ends Of Sanity --- Metallica)

#1781.  What The Fuck (Thunderstruck --- AC/DC)

#1782.  Indicted (United --- Judas Priest)

#1783.  Indicted Cunt (United Blood --- Agnostic Front)

#1784.  Indicted Not Long (United And Strong --- Agnostic Front)

#1785.  Indicted As Planned (United We Stand --- Elton John)

#1786.  Why Do Proud Boys Need More Dildos (Are There Any More Real Cowboys --- Neil Young)

#1787.  Don't Lie For Trump Tacopina (Don't Cry For Me Argentina --- Madonna)

#1788.  Moore's A Shit Show (More Than You Know --- Eddie Vedder)

#1789.  Asshole Of Obscenity (Centre Of Eternity --- Ozzy Osbourne) 

#1790.  Hutchinson (One By One --- Neil Diamond)

#1791.  Treason Of Jim Justice (Seasons In The Abyss --- Slayer)

#1792.  Hutchinson (Number One --- Laid Back)

#1793.  James Comer (The Loner --- Neil Young)

#1794.  Taylor Greene (Billie Jean --- Michael Jackson)

#1795.  Douglas Burgum (Here Comes The Sun --- The Beatles)

#1796.  Bill Barr (Ya Mar --- Phish)

#1797.  Cotham's Shit-Stained Face (Awesome In This Place --- Tricia Cotham)

#1798.  Katie's Shittin' (Baby Sittin' --- Carole King)

#1799.  Asshole LaPierre (Back Door Love Affair --- ZZ Top)

#1800.  Senator Daines (Breaking The Chains --- Dokken)

#1801.  LaPierre Pride (Delaware Slide --- George Thorogood)

#1802.  Tricia Cotham (Apple Blossom --- White Stripes)

#1803.  Jeff Roe (Death Row --- Chris Stapleton)

#1807.  Trusty's Rage (Rusty Cage --- Soundgarden)

#1808.  Taylor Greene (Shirley Green --- Foghat)

#1809.  Jeff Roe (Hello --- Lionel Richie)

#1810.  Ohio's Moreno (Avenu Malkenu --- Phish)

#1811.  45 Love Affair ('65 Love Affair --- Paul Davis)

#1812.  Warthog (Hound Dog --- Elvis Presley)

#1813.  Kristi Noem (Kodachrome --- Paul Simon & Art Garfunkel)

#1814.  Warthog (Hot Dog --- Led Zeppelin)

#1815.  Jared Kushner Is A Jew (Only Wanna Be With You --- Hootie & The Blowfish)

#1816.  Kristi Noem (Hell Is Chrome --- Wilco)

#1817.  Taylor Greene (Polly Jean --- Toadies)

#1818.  Jeff Roe (Hello --- Electric Light Orchestra)

#1819.  Christie (Misty --- Johnny Mathis)

#1820.  Swing State (I'm Late --- Bill Thompson)

#1821.  SpaceX (Spaceboy --- Smashing Pumpkins)

#1822.  We Are The Trumpers (We Are The World --- USA For Africa)

#1823.  Twitter Fuck (Thunderstruck --- AC/DC) 

#1824.  Kelly Cunt (Belly Love - The Kooks)

#1825.  Mike Lindell (Burn In Hell --- Twisted Sister)

#1826.  George Santos (Small Doses --- Travis Tritt)

#1827.  Trump Is The Enemy (What Do You Want From Me --- Pink Floyd)

#1828.  Sheriff Joe (Mexico --- Neil Young)

#1829.  Sheriff Joe (Mexico --- Merle Haggard)

#1830.  Fucking Tool Tate Reeves (What A Fool Believes --- Doobie Brothers) 

#1831.  Taylor Greene (Creeping Jean --- The Kinks)

#1832.  Noem (Chrome --- Joe Jackson)

#1833.  Fuck Huckabee's Koozies (Wake Up Little Suzie --- Grateful Dead)

#1834.  Sheriff Joe (Mexico --- Cake)

#1835.  Taylor Greene (Amber Jean --- Neil Young)

#1836.  Steven Daines (Astral Planes --- Smashing Pumpkins)

#1837.  Jim (Jim --- Faith No More)

#1838.  Daines (Chains --- The Beatles)

#1839.  Conaway (Day By Day --- The Hooters)

#1840.  Trump's Devout (Steppin' Out --- Joe Jackson)

#1841.  Daines The Enemy (Chains Of Misery --- Iron Maiden)

#1842.  Donald Trump Is Dead (We Are Motorhead --- Motorhead)

#1843.  Spencer Cox (Heart-Shaped Box --- Nirvana)

#1844.  Rejected (Elected --- Alice Cooper)

#1845.  Red Devil (Cold Ethyl --- Alice Cooper)

#1846.  Only Donald Feeds (Only Women Bleed --- Alice Cooper)

#1847.  Bruce (Deuce --- The Cardigans)

#1848.  Scott Is So Shitty (Hot In The City --- Billy Idol)

#1849.  Bruce (Deuce --- Kiss)

#1850.  That Drone Wasn't From Ukraine  (Have You Ever Seen The Rain --- Creedence Clearwater Revival)

#1851.  Who'll Stop Ukraine (Who'll Stop The Rain --- Creedence Clearwater Revival)

#1852.  Selena Chambers (The Entertainer --- Billy Joel)

#1853.  Here Cum Proud Boys (Here Come Cowboys --- Psychadelic Furs)

#1854.  Blame It On Ukraine (Blame It On The Rain --- Milli Vanilli)

#1855.  A Coronation (My Generation --- The Who)

#1856.  Coronation (Celebration --- Kool And The Gang)

#1857.  Mamas Don't Let Your Babies Grow Up To Be Proud Boys (Mama Don't Let Your Babies Grow Up To Cowboys --- Willie Nelson)

#1858.  Be Best Plan (Sharp Dressed Man --- ZZ Top)

#1859.  Allen, Texas (Pearl Necklace --- ZZ Top)

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Please do not share this material with residents of Allen, Texas and/or former President Donald J. Trump.