#1869. Penny And The Death

Pedophile Congressman Matt Gaetz (R-FL) has dubbed Daniel Penny as a "Subway Superman."

Penny is the U.S. Marine who courageously strangled Jordan Neely in a New York subway.

Oh yeah, the infamous UFC rear naked choke.  Needless to say, Neely was never given the opportunity to "tap out."  And he's gone.

Neely was a 30-year-old Michael Jackson impersonator...

with a history of mental illness and homelessness.

 

 

Penny And the Death
sonofsaf

Oh shit, strangling whenever
Do not fight with a Marine
Naked choke the rear is better
Be still his beating heart that’s right
New York will frown
A subway killing’s very tragic
Worse than ground and pound

Hey, JC and Penney.  Don’t feel no regret.
Ooh, self defense no doubt
P-P-P-Penny and the death
He volunteered ‘cause his shit is bull
Oh, Penny.  He’s pretty mean
You know you can’t refute, the point is moot
Yeah it’s gonna be an ugly crime scene, oh
P-P-P-Penny and the death

Oh, shit, the asphyxiation
As I’m reminded
That Penny knows compression
Your time to die, death’s not fake his time is gone
It reminds me of Rodney King’s defeat
Can’t we all just get along

Hey, JC and Penney.  Don’t feel no regret.
Ooh, self defense no doubt
P-P-P-Penny and the death
He volunteered ‘cause his shit is bull
Oh, Penny.  He’s pretty mean
You know you can’t refute, the point is moot
Yeah it’s gonna be an ugly crime scene, oh
P-P-P-Penny and the death

Oh, JC and Penney.  Don’t feel no regret.
Ooh, self defense no doubt
P-P-P-Penny and the death
He volunteered ‘cause his shit is bull
Oh, Penny.  He’s pretty mean
You know you can’t refute, the point is moot
Yeah it’s gonna be an ugly crime scene, oh
P-P-P-Penny and the death

Penny, Penny and the death
Penny, Penny, Penny, Penny and the death
Penny, Penny, Penny, Penny, Penny and the death
Penny, Penny, Penny, Penny, Penny and the death
Penny, Penny, Penny, Penny, Penny, Penny, Penny, Penny and the death, the death, the death
Penny, Penny, Penny, Penny, Penny, Penny, Penny, Penny, Penny, Penny, Penny, Penny and the death

 

Bennie And The Jets
Elton John

Hey, kids, shake it loose together
The spotlight's hitting something
That's been known to change the weather
We'll kill the fatted calf tonight
So stick around
You're gonna hear electric music
Solid walls of sound

Say, Candy and Ronnie. Have you seen them yet?
Ooh, but they're so spaced out
B-B-B-Bennie and the Jets
Oh, but they're weird and they're wonderful
Oh, Bennie. She's really keen
She's got electric boots, a mohair suit
You know I read it in a magazine, oh
B-B-B-Bennie and the Jets

Hey, kids, plug into the faithless
Maybe they're blinded
But Bennie makes them ageless
We shall survive, let us take ourselves along
Where we fight our parents out in the streets
To find who's right and who's wrong

Say, Candy and Ronnie, have you seen them yet?
Ooh, but they're so spaced out
B-B-B-Bennie and the Jets
Oh, but they're weird and they're wonderful
Oh, Bennie. She's really keen
She's got electric boots, a mohair suit
You know I read it in a magazine
B-B-B-Bennie and the Jets

Oh, Candy and Ronnie. Have you seen them yet?
Ooh, but they're so spaced out
B-B-B-B-B-Bennie and the Jets
Oh, but they're weird and they're wonderful
Oh, Bennie. She's really keen
She's got electric boots, a mohair suit
You know I read it in a magazine
B-B-B-Bennie and the Jets

Bennie, Bennie and the Jets
Bennie, Bennie, Bennie, Bennie and the Jets
Bennie, Bennie, Bennie, Bennie, Bennie and the Jets
Bennie, Bennie, Bennie, Bennie and the Jets
Bennie, Bennie, Bennie, Bennie, Bennie, Bennie, Bennie, Bennie and the Jets, the Jets, the Jets
Bennie, Bennie, Bennie, Bennie, Bennie, Bennie, Bennie, Bennie, Bennie, Bennie, Bennie and the Jets

My second parody of the Elton John classic.  A couple years ago, I penned #254.  Woody And the Jets.  Robert Wood Johnson a/k/a "Woody" is the New York Jets owner and primary heir to the Johnson & Johnson big pharma fortune.  

The Orange Prolapse appointed his buddy Woodrow as ambassador to England in 2017.  Although I can't say with absolute certainty, Johnson strikes me a big Manchester United fan.  The American equivalent of a Dallas Cowboys lovin' douchebag.

From 1973 to 2022, Elton John serenaded the Burgh a grand total of 16 times.  And now... he's done.

Elton John:

6-11-99, Star Lake Amphitheater, Burgettstown, PA

3-23-11, Consol Energy Center, Pittsburgh, PA

9-18-12, Wesbanco Arena, Wheeling, WV

10-10-18, PPG Paints Arena, Pittsburgh, PA

9-16-22, PNC Park, Pittsburgh, PA 

 

The Big Lie 100: (#1029)

#1740.  CPAC (Stand Back --- Stevie Nicks)

#1741.  CPAC's Frightnin' (Smokestack Lightnin' --- Grateful Dead)

#1742.  Hatin' Nate Schatzline (Lay It On the Line --- Triumph)

#1743.  Nate Schatzline (Hold The Line --- Toto)

#1744.*  Faking The Violence (Breaking The Silence --- Queensryche)

#1745.  Treason He's A Cunt (Seasons In The Sun --- Terry Jacks)

#1746.  Tucker (Fucker --- Brian Jonestown Massacre)

#1747.  Lake's My Enemy (Cake And Sodomy --- Marilyn Manson)

#1748.  Newt (Cute --- Bobby Darrin)

#1749.  Donald Trump Is Gay (Take My Breath Away --- Berlin)

#1750.  Markwayne Mullin (Cocaine And Gin --- Kid Rock)

#1751.  Stormy's Better (Stormy Weather --- Billie Holiday)

#1752.  Stormy's Wetter (Stormy Weather --- The Pixies)

#1753.  Bell (Hell --- Foo Fighters)

#1754.  Will Will Slap You (We Will Rock You --- Queen)

#1755.  Donald Trump's a Cunt (On The Wings Of Love --- Jeffrey Osbourne)

#1756.  Donald Is A Child (Bad Boys Running Wild --- Scorpions)

#1757.  Donald's A Child (Running Wild --- Judas Priest)

#1758.  McConnell (Raising Hell --- Tom Morello & Ben Harper)

#1759.  ... Jim Justice Asshole (... And Justice For All --- Metallica) 

#1760.  Mike Pence Is Shit (Don't Fence Me In --- Willie Nelson)

#1761.  Blum (Dumb --- Nirvana)

#1762.  Charlie Kirk Sold Out (We Can Work It Out --- The Beatles)

#1763.  Xi Fucks You (She Loves You --- The Beatles)

#1764.  Has Been Chip Roy (Seek And Destroy --- Metallica)

#1765.  Steil (Smile -- Pearl Jam)

#1766.  Congressman Steil's Critical Race (God Put A Smile Upon Your Face --- Coldplay)

#1767.  Steil's A Liar (Trial By Fire --- Testament)

#1768.  Xi's Fucking Trump's Wife (She's Out Of My Life --- Michael Jackson)

#1769.  His Name Is Dave Williams (How I Made My Millions --- Radiohead)

#1770.  Xi Jinping's A Basket Case (Everything In Its Right Place --- Radiohead)

#1771.  Hovde Will Fuck You (Lovely To See You --- Moody Blues)

#1772.  Jim Justice (Seed Justice --- Neil Young)

#1773.  Steil (Smile --- Michael Jackson)

#1774.  Xi Jinping's Dead (Everything Zen --- Bush)

#1775.  Robinson (Machine Gun --- The Commodores)

#1776.  Donald's An Orange Prolapse Fart (Owner Of A Lonely Heart --- Yes)

#1777.  Nashville Isn't Lucky (Nashville to Kentucky --- My Morning Jacket)

#1778.  Tennessee Dead (Tennessee Jed --- Grateful Dead)

#1779.  Tim Burchett's Shitty (Suffragette City --- David Bowie)

#1780.  On Fox News Sean Hannity (The Frayed Ends Of Sanity --- Metallica)

#1781.  What The Fuck (Thunderstruck --- AC/DC)

#1782.  Indicted (United --- Judas Priest)

#1783.  Indicted Cunt (United Blood --- Agnostic Front)

#1784.  Indicted Not Long (United And Strong --- Agnostic Front)

#1785.  Indicted As Planned (United We Stand --- Elton John)

#1786.  Why Do Proud Boys Need More Dildos (Are There Any More Real Cowboys --- Neil Young)

#1787.  Don't Lie For Trump Tacopina (Don't Cry For Me Argentina --- Madonna)

#1788.  Moore's A Shit Show (More Than You Know --- Eddie Vedder)

#1789.  Asshole Of Obscenity (Centre Of Eternity --- Ozzy Osbourne) 

#1790.  Hutchinson (One By One --- Neil Diamond)

#1791.  Treason Of Jim Justice (Seasons In The Abyss --- Slayer)

#1792.  Hutchinson (Number One --- Laid Back)

#1793.  James Comer (The Loner --- Neil Young)

#1794.  Taylor Greene (Billie Jean --- Michael Jackson)

#1795.  Douglas Burgum (Here Comes The Sun --- The Beatles)

#1796.  Bill Barr (Ya Mar --- Phish)

#1797.  Cotham's Shit-Stained Face (Awesome In This Place --- Tricia Cotham)

#1798.  Katie's Shittin' (Baby Sittin' --- Carole King)

#1799.  Asshole LaPierre (Back Door Love Affair --- ZZ Top)

#1800.  Senator Daines (Breaking The Chains --- Dokken)

#1801.  LaPierre Pride (Delaware Slide --- George Thorogood)

#1802.  Tricia Cotham (Apple Blossom --- White Stripes)

#1803.  Jeff Roe (Death Row --- Chris Stapleton)

#1807.  Trusty's Rage (Rusty Cage --- Soundgarden)

#1808.  Taylor Greene (Shirley Green --- Foghat)

#1809.  Jeff Roe (Hello --- Lionel Richie)

#1810.  Ohio's Moreno (Avenu Malkenu --- Phish)

#1811.  45 Love Affair ('65 Love Affair --- Paul Davis)

#1812.  Warthog (Hound Dog --- Elvis Presley)

#1813.  Kristi Noem (Kodachrome --- Paul Simon & Art Garfunkel)

#1814.  Warthog (Hot Dog --- Led Zeppelin)

#1815.  Jared Kushner Is A Jew (Only Wanna Be With You --- Hootie & The Blowfish)

#1816.  Kristi Noem (Hell Is Chrome --- Wilco)

#1817.  Taylor Greene (Polly Jean --- Toadies)

#1818.  Jeff Roe (Hello --- Electric Light Orchestra)

#1819.  Christie (Misty --- Johnny Mathis)

#1820.  Swing State (I'm Late --- Bill Thompson)

#1821.  SpaceX (Spaceboy --- Smashing Pumpkins)

#1822.  We Are The Trumpers (We Are The World --- USA For Africa)

#1823.  Twitter Fuck (Thunderstruck --- AC/DC) 

#1824.  Kelly Cunt (Belly Love - The Kooks)

#1825.  Mike Lindell (Burn In Hell --- Twisted Sister)

#1826.  George Santos (Small Doses --- Travis Tritt)

#1827.  Trump Is The Enemy (What Do You Want From Me --- Pink Floyd)

#1828.  Sheriff Joe (Mexico --- Neil Young)

#1829.  Sheriff Joe (Mexico --- Merle Haggard)

#1830.  Fucking Tool Tate Reeves (What A Fool Believes --- Doobie Brothers) 

#1831.  Taylor Greene (Creeping Jean --- The Kinks)

#1832.  Noem (Chrome --- Joe Jackson)

#1833.  Fuck Huckabee's Koozies (Wake Up Little Suzie --- Grateful Dead)

#1834.  Sheriff Joe (Mexico --- Cake)

#1835.  Taylor Greene (Amber Jean --- Neil Young)

#1836.  Steven Daines (Astral Planes --- Smashing Pumpkins)

#1837.  Jim (Jim --- Faith No More)

#1838.  Daines (Chains --- The Beatles)

#1839.  Conaway (Day By Day --- The Hooters)

#1840.  Trump's Devout (Steppin' Out --- Joe Jackson)

#1841.  Daines The Enemy (Chains Of Misery --- Iron Maiden)

#1842.  Donald Trump Is Dead (We Are Motorhead --- Motorhead)

#1843.  Spencer Cox (Heart-Shaped Box --- Nirvana)

#1844.  Rejected (Elected --- Alice Cooper)

#1845.  Red Devil (Cold Ethyl --- Alice Cooper)

#1846.  Only Donald Feeds (Only Women Bleed --- Alice Cooper)

#1847.  Bruce (Deuce --- The Cardigans)

#1848.  Scott Is So Shitty (Hot In The City --- Billy Idol)

#1849.  Bruce (Deuce --- Kiss)

#1850.  That Drone Wasn't From Ukraine  (Have You Ever Seen The Rain --- Creedence Clearwater Revival)

#1851.  Who'll Stop Ukraine (Who'll Stop The Rain --- Creedence Clearwater Revival)

#1852.  Selena Chambers (The Entertainer --- Billy Joel)

#1853.  Here Cum Proud Boys (Here Come Cowboys --- Psychadelic Furs)

#1854.  Blame It On Ukraine (Blame It On The Rain --- Milli Vanilli)

#1855.  A Coronation (My Generation --- The Who)

#1856.  Coronation (Celebration --- Kool And The Gang)

#1857.  Mamas Don't Let Your Babies Grow Up To Be Proud Boys (Mamas Don't Let Your Babies Grow Up To Cowboys --- Willie Nelson)

#1858.  Be Best Plan (Sharp Dressed Man --- ZZ Top)

#1859.  Allen, Texas (Pearl Necklace --- ZZ Top)

#1860.  Coronations (Revelations --- Iron Maiden)

#1861.  AR-15 (The Drunkk Machine --- Thom Yorke)

#1862.  Be Best With Hate (Possessed To Skate --- Suicidal Tendencies)

#1863.  AR-15 (Killing Machine --- L.A. Guns)

#1864.  Russia's In Ukraine (Shadows In The Rain --- The Police)

#1865.  Be Best (Go West --- The Village People) 

#1866. AR-15 (Woman Machine --- Alice Cooper)

#1867.  AR-15 (Fuck You) --- (A New Machine (Part II) --- Pink Floyd)

#1868.  (We Don't Want No) Ronny Jackson (I Can't Get No) Satisfaction --- Rolling Stones)

#1869.  Penny And The Death (Bennie And The Jets --- Elton John)

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