#1887. Epshtyen, Boris

 A top member of the Orange Prolapse's legal team recently quit.

Timothy Parlatore blamed his departure on "interference" from fellow Trump attorney Boris Epshtyen.  

Now I think that's worthy of a Trump Dump.

This limited edition, monster-mega Epshtyen Dump was spotted just off Market Square.  I suspect most innocent yinzers would assume it's simply an errant pile of mud in a peculiar location.  Such a determination would be woefully inaccurate.

 

Epshtyen, Boris
sonofsaf

He sucks his lawyerly ways
Boris has a small dick, probably’s gay
Russia, Putin all the while
The Ukraine invasion, is back in style

Full of bullshit, eat Ivanka’s cunt
There’s no doubt he’d screw it, fuck the Orange Prolapsin’ clown

Censor ship is here to stay
Boris Epshtyen’s dealings, pardons okay
Job to blow, politics arrange
Bedfellows and vomit and you might get laid

The golden escalator
Trump is the agitator
Jump on, Trump’s mushroom dick is retarded
And Stormy Daniels’ cunt, it queefed and it farted

Wordless Chorus
My Morning Jacket

So much goin' on these days
Forget about instinct, it's not what pays
Pleasure, up and down my smile
A carton of eggs think, it's all worthwhile

Tell me spirit, what has not been done?
I'll rush out and do it, or are we doin' it now?

Fissure is the thrill of day
Forget about feeling, that's not what pays
But you know, all of this can change
Remember the promise as a kid you made

We are the innovators
They are the imitators
Come on, hey don't you know how we started
We forgot about love, but weren't brokenhearted 

 

One of my least favorite MMJ tunes.  Not sure why everyone thinks so highly of it.

Just for the record, I am technically a Red Rocks virgin.  Having never entered the "venue."  That thorny/horny predicament will be utterly eviscerated this summer in late August.  Back to back shows.  Me, Mason, Jessarooni, and The Real John Thune are heading to Denver.

 

Bat Dad bites back.

 

My Morning Jacket have played the Burgh a grand total of 8 times.

My Morning Jacket:

5-2-10, Lifestyles Community Pavilion, Columbus, OH
8-27-10, Trib Total Media Amphitheater, Pittsburgh, PA
8-10-11, Stage AE, Pittsburgh, PA
8-12-12, LC Pavilion, Columbus, OH
8-21-12, Stage AE, Pittsburgh, PA
6-4-15, Stage AE, Pittsburgh, PA
6-3-15, State Theatre, Cleveland, OH
7-8-17, Metro Amphitheater, Charlotte, NC
7-9-17, Red Hat Amphitheater, Raleigh, NC
6-22-22,  Stage AE, Pittsburgh, PA

 

 

The Big Lie 100: (#1047)

#1740.  CPAC (Stand Back --- Stevie Nicks)

#1741.  CPAC's Frightnin' (Smokestack Lightnin' --- Grateful Dead)

#1742.  Hatin' Nate Schatzline (Lay It On the Line --- Triumph)

#1743.  Nate Schatzline (Hold The Line --- Toto)

#1744.*  Faking The Violence (Breaking The Silence --- Queensryche)

#1745.  Treason He's A Cunt (Seasons In The Sun --- Terry Jacks)

#1746.  Tucker (Fucker --- Brian Jonestown Massacre)

#1747.  Lake's My Enemy (Cake And Sodomy --- Marilyn Manson)

#1748.  Newt (Cute --- Bobby Darrin)

#1749.  Donald Trump Is Gay (Take My Breath Away --- Berlin)

#1750.  Markwayne Mullin (Cocaine And Gin --- Kid Rock)

#1751.  Stormy's Better (Stormy Weather --- Billie Holiday)

#1752.  Stormy's Wetter (Stormy Weather --- The Pixies)

#1753.  Bell (Hell --- Foo Fighters)

#1754.  Will Will Slap You (We Will Rock You --- Queen)

#1755.  Donald Trump's a Cunt (On The Wings Of Love --- Jeffrey Osbourne)

#1756.  Donald Is A Child (Bad Boys Running Wild --- Scorpions)

#1757.  Donald's A Child (Running Wild --- Judas Priest)

#1758.  McConnell (Raising Hell --- Tom Morello & Ben Harper)

#1759.  ... Jim Justice Asshole (... And Justice For All --- Metallica) 

#1760.  Mike Pence Is Shit (Don't Fence Me In --- Willie Nelson)

#1761.  Blum (Dumb --- Nirvana)

#1762.  Charlie Kirk Sold Out (We Can Work It Out --- The Beatles)

#1763.  Xi Fucks You (She Loves You --- The Beatles)

#1764.  Has Been Chip Roy (Seek And Destroy --- Metallica)

#1765.  Steil (Smile -- Pearl Jam)

#1766.  Congressman Steil's Critical Race (God Put A Smile Upon Your Face --- Coldplay)

#1767.  Steil's A Liar (Trial By Fire --- Testament)

#1768.  Xi's Fucking Trump's Wife (She's Out Of My Life --- Michael Jackson)

#1769.  His Name Is Dave Williams (How I Made My Millions --- Radiohead)

#1770.  Xi Jinping's A Basket Case (Everything In Its Right Place --- Radiohead)

#1771.  Hovde Will Fuck You (Lovely To See You --- Moody Blues)

#1772.  Jim Justice (Seed Justice --- Neil Young)

#1773.  Steil (Smile --- Michael Jackson)

#1774.  Xi Jinping's Dead (Everything Zen --- Bush)

#1775.  Robinson (Machine Gun --- The Commodores)

#1776.  Donald's An Orange Prolapse Fart (Owner Of A Lonely Heart --- Yes)

#1777.  Nashville Isn't Lucky (Nashville to Kentucky --- My Morning Jacket)

#1778.  Tennessee Dead (Tennessee Jed --- Grateful Dead)

#1779.  Tim Burchett's Shitty (Suffragette City --- David Bowie)

#1780.  On Fox News Sean Hannity (The Frayed Ends Of Sanity --- Metallica)

#1781.  What The Fuck (Thunderstruck --- AC/DC)

#1782.  Indicted (United --- Judas Priest)

#1783.  Indicted Cunt (United Blood --- Agnostic Front)

#1784.  Indicted Not Long (United And Strong --- Agnostic Front)

#1785.  Indicted As Planned (United We Stand --- Elton John)

#1786.  Why Do Proud Boys Need More Dildos (Are There Any More Real Cowboys --- Neil Young)

#1787.  Don't Lie For Trump Tacopina (Don't Cry For Me Argentina --- Madonna)

#1788.  Moore's A Shit Show (More Than You Know --- Eddie Vedder)

#1789.  Asshole Of Obscenity (Centre Of Eternity --- Ozzy Osbourne) 

#1790.  Hutchinson (One By One --- Neil Diamond)

#1791.  Treason Of Jim Justice (Seasons In The Abyss --- Slayer)

#1792.  Hutchinson (Number One --- Laid Back)

#1793.  James Comer (The Loner --- Neil Young)

#1794.  Taylor Greene (Billie Jean --- Michael Jackson)

#1795.  Douglas Burgum (Here Comes The Sun --- The Beatles)

#1796.  Bill Barr (Ya Mar --- Phish)

#1797.  Cotham's Shit-Stained Face (Awesome In This Place --- Tricia Cotham)

#1798.  Katie's Shittin' (Baby Sittin' --- Carole King)

#1799.  Asshole LaPierre (Back Door Love Affair --- ZZ Top)

#1800.  Senator Daines (Breaking The Chains --- Dokken)

#1801.  LaPierre Pride (Delaware Slide --- George Thorogood)

#1802.  Tricia Cotham (Apple Blossom --- White Stripes)

#1803.  Jeff Roe (Death Row --- Chris Stapleton)

#1807.  Trusty's Rage (Rusty Cage --- Soundgarden)

#1808.  Taylor Greene (Shirley Green --- Foghat)

#1809.  Jeff Roe (Hello --- Lionel Richie)

#1810.  Ohio's Moreno (Avenu Malkenu --- Phish)

#1811.  45 Love Affair ('65 Love Affair --- Paul Davis)

#1812.  Warthog (Hound Dog --- Elvis Presley)

#1813.  Kristi Noem (Kodachrome --- Paul Simon & Art Garfunkel)

#1814.  Warthog (Hot Dog --- Led Zeppelin)

#1815.  Jared Kushner Is A Jew (Only Wanna Be With You --- Hootie & The Blowfish)

#1816.  Kristi Noem (Hell Is Chrome --- Wilco)

#1817.  Taylor Greene (Polly Jean --- Toadies)

#1818.  Jeff Roe (Hello --- Electric Light Orchestra)

#1819.  Christie (Misty --- Johnny Mathis)

#1820.  Swing State (I'm Late --- Bill Thompson)

#1821.  SpaceX (Spaceboy --- Smashing Pumpkins)

#1822.  We Are The Trumpers (We Are The World --- USA For Africa)

#1823.  Twitter Fuck (Thunderstruck --- AC/DC) 

#1824.  Kelly Cunt (Belly Love - The Kooks)

#1825.  Mike Lindell (Burn In Hell --- Twisted Sister)

#1826.  George Santos (Small Doses --- Travis Tritt)

#1827.  Trump Is The Enemy (What Do You Want From Me --- Pink Floyd)

#1828.  Sheriff Joe (Mexico --- Neil Young)

#1829.  Sheriff Joe (Mexico --- Merle Haggard)

#1830.  Fucking Tool Tate Reeves (What A Fool Believes --- Doobie Brothers) 

#1831.  Taylor Greene (Creeping Jean --- The Kinks)

#1832.  Noem (Chrome --- Joe Jackson)

#1833.  Fuck Huckabee's Koozies (Wake Up Little Suzie --- Grateful Dead)

#1834.  Sheriff Joe (Mexico --- Cake)

#1835.  Taylor Greene (Amber Jean --- Neil Young)

#1836.  Steven Daines (Astral Planes --- Smashing Pumpkins)

#1837.  Jim (Jim --- Faith No More)

#1838.  Daines (Chains --- The Beatles)

#1839.  Conaway (Day By Day --- The Hooters)

#1840.  Trump's Devout (Steppin' Out --- Joe Jackson)

#1841.  Daines The Enemy (Chains Of Misery --- Iron Maiden)

#1842.  Donald Trump Is Dead (We Are Motorhead --- Motorhead)

#1843.  Spencer Cox (Heart-Shaped Box --- Nirvana)

#1844.  Rejected (Elected --- Alice Cooper)

#1845.  Red Devil (Cold Ethyl --- Alice Cooper)

#1846.  Only Donald Feeds (Only Women Bleed --- Alice Cooper)

#1847.  Bruce (Deuce --- The Cardigans)

#1848.  Scott Is So Shitty (Hot In The City --- Billy Idol)

#1849.  Bruce (Deuce --- Kiss)

#1850.  That Drone Wasn't From Ukraine  (Have You Ever Seen The Rain --- Creedence Clearwater Revival)

#1851.  Who'll Stop Ukraine (Who'll Stop The Rain --- Creedence Clearwater Revival)

#1852.  Selena Chambers (The Entertainer --- Billy Joel)

#1853.  Here Cum Proud Boys (Here Come Cowboys --- Psychadelic Furs)

#1854.  Blame It On Ukraine (Blame It On The Rain --- Milli Vanilli)

#1855.  A Coronation (My Generation --- The Who)

#1856.  Coronation (Celebration --- Kool And The Gang)

#1857.  Mamas Don't Let Your Babies Grow Up To Be Proud Boys (Mamas Don't Let Your Babies Grow Up To Cowboys --- Willie Nelson)

#1858.  Be Best Plan (Sharp Dressed Man --- ZZ Top)

#1859.  Allen, Texas (Pearl Necklace --- ZZ Top)

#1860.  Coronations (Revelations --- Iron Maiden)

#1861.  AR-15 (The Drunkk Machine --- Thom Yorke)

#1862.  Be Best With Hate (Possessed To Skate --- Suicidal Tendencies)

#1863.  AR-15 (Killing Machine --- L.A. Guns)

#1864.  Russia's In Ukraine (Shadows In The Rain --- The Police)

#1865.  Be Best (Go West --- The Village People) 

#1866. AR-15 (Woman Machine --- Alice Cooper)

#1867.  AR-15 (Fuck You) --- (A New Machine (Part II) --- Pink Floyd)

#1868.  (We Don't Want No) Ronny Jackson (I Can't Get No) Satisfaction --- Rolling Stones)

#1869.  Penny And The Death (Bennie And The Jets --- Elton John)

#1870.  Prolapse Fart (Hungry Heart --- Bruce Springsteen)

#1871.  AR-15 (Age Of Machine --- Greta Van Fleet)

#1872.  McCullough (Calcutta --- Warren Zevon)

#1873.  The Weirdos Have Always Been Proud Boys (My Heroes Have Always Been Cowboys --- Willie Nelson)

#1874.  Gay Knipper (Day Tripper --- The Beatles)

#1875.  Greene's Inbred (Jean Is Dead --- The Descendants)

#1876.  Gonna Blame It On Ukraine (Only Happy When It Rains --- Garbage)

#1877.  Tik Tok (Locked In --- Judas Priest)

#1878.  The Diss (The Kiss --- The Cure)

#1879.  Jon Voight Is Shitty (Detroit Rock City --- Kiss)

#1880.  Christie's Gay You Will Discover (Fifty Ways To Leave Your Lover --- Paul Simon)

#1881.  Youngkin (Skin Thin --- Ben Harper)

#1882.  Orange Prolapse Stain (Who'll Stop The Rain --- Creedence Clearwater Revival)

#1883.  Unhinged MTG (Unchained Melody --- U2)

#1884.  Be Best (Go West --- Brooks and Dunn)

#1885.  Steven Daines (Lovin' Chains --- Chicago)

#1886.  Jared Kushner's A Fucking Jew (I Hate Myself For Loving You --- Joan Jett & The Blackhearts)

#1887.  Epshtyen, Boris (Wordless Chorus --- My Morning Jacket)

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Please do not share this material with Boris Epshtyen and/or former President Donald J. Trump.