#1066. Dr. Crowley

I originally titled this parody "Mrs. Crowley."  

But quickly learned that Fox News Commentator Monica Crowley has a Ph.D.  From Columbia no less.  That's where Meadow Soprano went to college.  Of course Monica's not a real physician.  Her doctorate is in International Affairs (mark 2:00).  So she's a doctor like Kissinger's a doctor.

Keep in mind, when I say "international affairs" that means she probably fucked Vladmir Putin while simultaneously blowing his oligarch comrade buddy Igor Putski.

Dr. Crowley
sonofsaf

Dr. Crowley, how I wish you were dead
Oh, Dr. Crowley, loves Orange Prolapse instead
You defile the libtards with magic
‘Cause you’re sick of them all
Right wing media is so tragic
Maybe you could build a great wall

Russia’s arming, Vladmir Putin makes sure
Always disarming, with that phony allure
Her talking points based on what Trump said
What is Monica worth?
Perceives the big lie with no regrets
It’s just more silly back and forth

Dr. Crowley, can you get any worse?
Dr. Crowley, takes a dick, no remorse
Some viewers think that you’re very fat
One day you’ll take a fall
Some viewers think that you’re an asshat
Spreading your butt crack for all


Eat a fish sandwich for lent
Donald Trump’s not heaven sent
Donald Trump’s snot, Donald Trump’s not heaven sent

Mr. Crowley
Ozzy Osbourne

Mr. Crowley, what went on in your head?
Oh, Mr. Crowley, did you talk to the dead?
Your life style to me seemed so tragic
With the thrill of it all
You fooled all the people with magic
Yeah, you waited on Satan's call

Mr. Charming, did you think you were pure?
Mr. Alarming, in nocturnal rapport
Uncovering things that were sacred
Manifest on this Earth
Conceived in the eye of a secret
And they scattered the afterbirth

Mr. Crowley, won't you ride my white horse?
Mr. Crowley, it's symbolic, of course
Approaching a time that is classic
I hear that maidens call
Approaching a time that is drastic
Standing with their backs to the wall

Was it polemically sent
l want to know what you meant
I want to know, I want to know what you meant, yeah

Regarding Southwestern Pennsylvania, the most overplayed song of all time is "Crazy Train" off Blizzard of Ozz.  Every football game, every tailgate, every 5K, every 5th grade spelling bee and grammar rodeo, every waste management seminar.  Back in the late 90's, I went to The Lionhead in downtown Wheeling to see an Ozzy Osbourne cover band called Crazy Train.  Went up to the bar and ordered a Rolling Rock.  The kid behind the bar got noticeably flustered when he couldn't find any on ice.  So he went in the back and snagged one from a case on the floor.  Then he handed me a room temperature bottle of beer.  And charged me $2.50.  

I asked him, "Hey man, do you guys normally sell warm beer?"  

He just shrugged his shoulders... "Uh, I dunno."

Regardless, I drank it. 

The Big Lie 100: (#281)

#390.  Big Lie (Free Ride --- Edgar Winter)

#487.  Donald's Big Lie (Mr. Blue Sky --- E.L.O.)

#495.  American Lie (American Pie --- Don McLean)

#520.  The Big Lie (When Doves Cry --- Prince)

#530.  Big Lie (High Time --- Grateful Dead)

#545.  Big Lie (Goodbye --- Night Ranger)

#548.  Trump World's, Big Lie (Big Girls, Don't Cry --- Frankie Valli & The Four Seasons)   

#549.  All A Big Lie (Live And Let Die --- Paul McCartney)

#550.  Would Trump Lie To You (Would I Lie To You --- Annie Lennox)

#552.  Big Liar (Big Spender --- Shirley Bassey)

 

#553.  Big Lie (Big Me --- Foo Fighters) 

#555.  The Big Lie (Let Her Cry --- Hootie And The Blowfish)

#557.  Big Lie (Big Love --- Fleetwood Mac)

#559.  Big Lies (Big Balls --- AC/DC)

#561.  The Big Lie (Aces High --- Iron Maiden)

#562.  Big Lie Trump Overload (Goodbye Yellow Brick Road --- Elton John)

#563.  Byrne's A Bitch (Burn The Witch --- Radiohead) 

#564.  As The World Byrnes (As The World Burns --- Kreator)

#565.  Lie (Cry --- Godley and Creme)

#567.  Byrne In Hell (Burn In Hell --- Twisted Sister)  

#571.  He's A Scrotum The Big Lie (I'm So Lonesome I Could Cry --- Hank Williams)

#594.  Lie Lie You Trumpers (Die Die My Darling --- Metallica)

#595.  To Live Is To Lie (To Live Is To Die --- Metallica) 

 

#596.  Don't Lie (Don't Cry --- Guns'n'Roses) 

#597.  Big Lie (Big Time --- Peter Gabriel)

#601.  Lies (Lies --- Thompson Twins)

#602.  Liar (Liar --- Three Dog Night)

#606.  Lie Free-For-All (Fly On The Wall --- AC/DC)

#609.  Big Liar (Big River --- Grateful Dead)

#616.  Jeffrey Clark (Rosa Parks --- OutKast) 

#626.  So Great At Big Lies (Too Late For Goodbyes --- Julian Lennon) 

#627.  Liar (Liar --- Henry Rollins)

#630.  Lie!  Lie! (Why?!  Why?! --- Nancy Kerrigan)

#632.  Fucked Up Lie (Custard Pie --- Led Zeppelin)

#633.  Tommy (Zombie --- The Cranberries)

#636.  Everybody Blows (Justice League Soundtrack --- Sigrid)

#639.  Orange Clown (Small Town --- John Cougar Mellencamp)

#640.  Be Unforgiving And Never Stop Lying (Shawshank Redemption --- Morgan Freeman / Tim Robbins)

#643.  Stampede (Candide --- Leonard Bernstein)

#651.  It's The Big Lie (Electric Eye --- Judas Priest)

#653.  Who Killed Ashli Babbitt (Who Killed Roger Rabbit --- Robert Zemekis)

#656.  Dush (Hush --- Deep Purple)

#657.  Dush (Plush --- Stone Temple Pilots)

#658.  Gonna Rock The Vote (Evil Little Goat --- Pearl Jam)

#659.  Trump's An Asshole (Get In The Hole --- generic dumbshit golf enthusiast)

#660.  Trump's A Clown (Lay It Down --- Ratt)

#661.  Between The Lies (Between The Eyes --- Ratt)

#663.  Lies Of The World (Eyes Of The World --- Grateful Dead)

#667.  Hole Jim Jordan (Beast of Burden --- Rolling Stones)

#670.  Sean Parnell (Go To Hell --- Alice Cooper)

#671.  Patrick (Magic --- Olivia Newton-John)

#673.  Sidney Implants (Breast Implants --- women w/ fake titties)

#674.  We Abhor Sidney (Eleanor Rigby --- Paul McCartney)

#675.  Trust Us on J6 (Justice for J6 )

#676.  Fuck Lin Wood (Amii Stewart --- Knock On Wood)

#677.  Lincoln Wood (If I Could --- Phish)

#678.  Burt Jones (Them Bones --- Alice in Chains)

#679.  Harriet's A Liar (Chariots of Fire --- Vangelis)

#680.  Trump's A Liar (Light My Fire --- The Doors)

#681.  Liar  (Fire --- Jimi Hendrix)

#682.  Lee (Tea --- King Diamond)

#683.  Fuck You Michael Cloud (Get Off Of My Cloud --- Rolling Stones)

#684.  Disunion Forever (The Union Forever --- Sergeant Richard Pickman)

#688.  Fuck You Lou (Love Me Do --- The Beatles)

#690.  Say No Thanks, 'Cause Trump Is A Crook And... (Ball Park Franks slogan)  

#691.  Barletta Theme Song (Baretta Theme Song --- Sammy Davis Jr.)

#693.  Justice For Gay Pricks (Justice for J-6 --- Matt Braynard)

#694.  Marco... Homo (Marco... Polo --- unknown)

#699.  Kent Is A Woman (Scent Of A Woman --- Seinfeld)

#700.  GOP (Can't You See --- Marshall Tucker Band) 

#701.  So Contradictory, Matt DePerno (Nestle --- It's Not Delivery, It's DiGiorno)

#702.  Ellis Lie (Jealous Guy --- John Lennon)

#708.  Orange Prolapsin' (Sister Christian --- Night Ranger)

#709.  Burt (Hurt --- Nine Inch Nails)

#713.  Bad Thune Lying (Bad Moon Rising --- John Fogerty)

#719.  Donald Trumper Lies (Bette Davis Eyes --- Kim Carnes) 

#722.  Jody Hice (Paradise --- Coldplay)

#723.  Liar (Liar --- Sex Pistols)

#725.  Strategic Warning (Woke Up This Morning --- Alabama 3)

#726.  Lake's A Caucasian (Shake Your Foundations --- AC/DC)

#727.  Texas (Lexus --- Toyota Marketing Department)

#729.  V.P. Pee Song (1970's Steelers Polka Fight Song --- Jimmy Psihoulis)

#740.  Maximum Misery, Matt DePerno (It's Not Delivery, It's DiGiorno --- Nestle)

#742.  Subpoena No Doubt (The Sun Will Come Out --- Little Orphan Annie)

#743.  Congressman Cole (Head Like A Hole --- Nine Inch Nails

#745.  Scavino Never Cums (Tomorrow Never Comes --- Teddy Geiger)

#746.  Chucky (Lucky --- Radiohead)

#747.  Dan Scavino (Sweet Potato --- Cracker)

#750.  Queen Graham (Queen Jane --- Grateful Dead)

#754.  Fraud (Maude --- Alan and Marilyn Bergman)

#755.  Trump Oddity (Space Oddity --- David Bowie) 

#757.  Trump And Mark Meadows (Me And My Shadow --- Whispering Jack Smith)

#758.  I Allege Grievance (The Pledge of Allegiance --- Rev. Francis Bellamy)

#760.  Peter Theil (Spinning Wheel --- Blood Sweat And Tears

#761.  Brnovich (Burn The Witch --- Radiohead) 

#773.  Larry Was A Damn Conniver (Jerry Was A Race Car Driver --- Primus)

#776.  Bannon (Dannon --- Danone North America Marketing Department)

 

#778.  Jim Banks (Give Thanks --- Dan Moen)

 

#779.  Fiore (Old Glory --- Guttermouth)

#785.  Jack (Black --- Pearl Jam)

#788.  Duncan's A Right Wing Cunt (Time To Make The Donuts --- Dunkin' Donuts)

#789.  Parnell, Parnell (Rochelle, Rochelle --- Bette Midler)

#790.  Fat Huckabee (Bad Company --- Bad Company)

#791.  The Big Lie Con (Da Do Ron Ron --- The Crystals)

#796.  Sean Parnell (Might As Well --- The Grateful Dead)

#797.  Liberty (Misery --- The Beatles)

#798.  Here Cums The Cunt (Here Comes The Sun --- The Beatles)

#800.  The Friendliness Of The Central Perk Gunther (The Loneliness Of The Long Distance Runner --- Iron Maiden)

#801.  Youngkin's A Clown (You Spin Me Round --- Dead Or Alive)

#803.  Tomahawk (Body Talk --- Ratt)

 

#804.  Bolsonaro (Hot Potato --- The Wiggles)

 

#807.  Political Space (Critical Race --- The Republican Party)

 

#809.  Jen Psaki (Stagger Lee --- Grateful Dead)

  

#811.  Republican (Alone Again --- Dokken)

#812.  Genghis Kahn (QAnon --- Q)

#813.  Tax The Rich (Eat The Rich --- Krokus)

#816.  Mike Carey (Proud Mary --- Tina Turner)

#823.  Astro (world)? Not!  (Astronaut --- Yuri Gagarin)

#824.  Rupert The Asshole Murdoch (Rudolph The Red-Nosed Reindeer --- Johnny Marks)

#825.  A Coup's Not A Drill (A View To A Kill --- Duran Duran)

#830.  Brainiac (Maniac/Gainiac --- Michael Sembello/Proctor & Gamble)

#833.  Gus Is Scum (Us And Them --- Pink Floyd)

#834.  Fleischmann (Fleischmann's --- Associated British Foods)

#837.  He's Pretty White (McCarthy) (Fight For Your Right (To Party) --- Beastie Boys)

#838.  I Guess That's Why They Call It A Coup (I Guess That's Why They Call It The Blues --- Elton John)

#839.  Donald's Coup (Song Sung Blue --- Neil Diamond)

#840.  Coup D'Etat Plan (Blue Collar Man --- Styx)

#842.  Trump's Coup Autocrat (What's New Pussycat? --- Tom Jones)

#843.  Income Tax Cheat (Sesame Street theme song --- The Kids)

#844.  A Coup Solution (The New Solution --- Beck)

#845.  Alex Mooney (Do The Fonzie --- Suzie Quatro and the band)

#846.  Mick Mouse (Brick House --- The Commodores)

#847.  Matthew Rosendale (Peter Cottontail --- Gene Autry) 

#849.  Kevin Rathbun (In The Long Run --- The Eagles)

#850.  Donald Trump Is Sh*t (Believe It Or Not --- Greatest American Hero Theme Song)

#853.  Kevin Rathbun (Fortunate Son --- Pearl Jam)

#854.  Detmer Blows (Don't Let Go --- Weezer)

#855.  Bricker Sucks (Lick It Up --- Kiss)

#859.  Sean Parnell (Jingle Bells --- Korn) 

#860.  The Oath Keepers (Jeepers Creepers --- Frank Sinatra)

#861.  Dan Cox (Squeeze Box --- The Who)

#862.  Alex Jones (Skin And Bones --- Foo Fighters)

#863.  Roger Stone (Turn To Stone --- Electric Light Orchestra)

#864.  Fuck You (Praise You --- Fatboy Slim)

#865.  Donald Trump's Not White (Take Me Home Tonight --- Eddie Money)

#867.  Parnell's Gone (Tuesday's Gone --- Lynyrd Skynyrd)

#871.  Donald's A Clown (Don't Let Me Down --- The Beatles)

#872.  Guillen's Not The Same (Killing In The Name --- Rage Against The Machine)

#876.  Donald Has Sinned (Dust In The Wind --- Kansas)

#880.  Donald Sucks Cocks (Love On The Rocks --- Neil Diamond)

#881.  Twitter Tweet (Gerry Raffety --- Baker Street) 

#882.  Happy Thanksgiving (Among The Living --- Anthrax)

#883.  Donald Trump's A Cock (Love Is Like A Rock --- Donnie Iris)

#884.  Kern! Kern! Kern! (Turn! Turn! Turn! --- The Byrds)

#885.  Kern's A Faggot Asshole (Turn Up The Radio --- Autograph)

#888.  Fat Orange Clown (My Hometown --- Bruce Springsteen)

#890.  Trump Stinks (Love Stinks --- J. Geils Band)

#891.  Learning To Lie (Learning to Fly --- Tom Petty)

#893.  David Perdue (Mr. Magoo --- Vincent Artaud)

#894.  Cox  (Clocks --- Coldplay)

#896.  Fuck Beth Van Duyne (Telephone Line --- E.L.O.)

#898.  Name Is Beth Van Duyne (Lay It On The Line --- Triumph)

#899.  Beth (Beth --- Kiss)

#901.  Jack Off And Vote For Mehmet (We're Off To See The Wizard --- Harold Arlen)

#902.  Devin Bitches (Seven Wishes --- Night Ranger)

#903.  Byron Donalds (Iron Maiden --- Iron Maiden)

#904.  Oz instrumental (Jaws instrumental --- John Williams)

#905.  Daniel Cox (Heart-Shaped Box --- Nirvana)

#906.  The Big Lie (9 to 5 --- Dolly Parton)

#907.  Devin's A Liar (Heaven's On Fire --- Kiss)

#908.  Mark Meadows (No One Knows --- Queens Of The Stone Age)

#910.  Collusion (Confusion --- E.L.O.)

#911.  Dan Cox Zero (Juke Box Hero --- Foreigner)

#912.  Anthony Kern Is Slime (If I Could Turn Back Time --- Cher)

#914.  Senator Manchin (Blowin' In The Wind --- Bob Dylan)

#915.  She Is A Cunt Beth Van Duyne (I Heard It Through The Grapevine)

#917.  Have Yourself a Very Scary 1-6 (Have Yourself A Merry Little Christmas --- John Legend)

#918.  The Events Of 1-6 (No Presents For Christmas --- King Diamond)

#919.  The Sorrow Of Meadows (Tomorrow Never Knows --- Grateful Dead)

#920.  BYE-DEN (SAY10 --- Marilyn Manson)

#921.  Fuck Rick Perry (Voices Carry --- Til Tuesday)

#925.  Devin Nunes Army (Seven Nation Army --- Jack White)

#926.  Of Course (White Horse --- Laid Back)

#929.  Trump Ain't Great (Carole King --- It's Too Late)

#931.  Donald's Cock (Like A Rock --- Bob Seger & The Silver Bullet Band)

#932.  All I Want Is Justice For Trump (All I Want For Christmas Is You --- Mariah Carey)

#934.  Devin's Not Well (Heaven And Hell --- Ronnie James Dio)

#936.  Jim Crow (Hello --- Lionel Richie)

#937.  Mark Meadows (Heaven Knows --- Robert Plant)

#938.  Tim O'Hare (Save A Prayer --- Duran Duran)

#939.  Boebert For Me (Moron TV --- Primus)

#940.  He Will Fuck You (We Will Rock You --- Queen)

#941.  Bill Lee (Stone Free --- Jimi Hendrix)

#942.  Lee (Free --- Phish)

#943.  Boozman (Batman --- Voivod)

#944.  There's No Doubt He Is John James (Take Me Out To The Ball Game --- Jack Norworth & Albert Von Tilzer)

#945.  Do Juneau Mike? (I Ride My Bike --- Cracker)

#946.  Trump Likes Makin' Blood (Feel Like Makin' Love --- Bad Company)

#947.  Rosendale (Monorail --- The Simpsons)

#948.  John Gibbs (War Pigs --- Ozzy Osbourne)

#949.  Blood Insurrection (Love And Affection --- Def Leppard)

#950.  Kyle Rittenhouse (Burning Down The House --- Talking Heads)

#951.  Mayes (Maze --- Phish)

#953.  Mayes (Graze --- Live)

#954.  Trump's A Fucking Liar (Comin' Under Fire --- Def Leppard)

#955.  Lie When It's Legal (Fly Like An Eagle --- Steve Miller)

#956.  Mary Miller (Psyhco Killer --- Talking Heads)

#957.  Middleton (Black Hole Sun --- Soundgarden)

#958.  Miller's A Liar (Killer Of Giants --- Ozzy Osbourne)

#960.  Henry D. McMaster (Beautiful Disaster --- 311)

#962.  Journey Together (Happy Together --- Weezer)

#963.  Schmidt Is White (Hit The Lights --- Metallica)

#966.  Violent Fight (Holy Night --- The Tabernacle Choir at Temple Square)

#967.  Donald Jr. (Way Cool Jr. --- Ratt)

#968.  We Don't Need No Tim O'Hare (I Don't Need No Rocking Chair --- George Jones) 

#970.  Fuck Donald Trump (You Think You're Tough --- Ratt)

#972.  Schmidt's An Asshat (Hit The Road Jack --- Ray Charles)

#973.  Insurrection (White, Discussion --- Live)

#974.  Senator Rounds (I'll Stick Around --- Foo Fighters)

#976.  Matt DePerno (The Muppet Show Theme Song --- Sam Pottle)

#977.  Wisconsin Johnson (Wisconsin Death Trip --- Static X)

#978.  Finchem (Red Rum --- The Shining)

#979.  Going To Mar-A-Lago (Going To California --- Led Zeppelin)

#980.  McCormick's Thing (Lunatic Fringe --- Tom Cochrane w/ Red Rider)

#981.  Jordan I Can't Stand (Burden In My Hand --- Soundgarden)

#982.  Gosar Is Gay (So Far Away --- Dire Straits)

#983.  Mike Rounds Senator (The Hounds Of Winter --- Sting)

#985.  Mike Crapo (I Don't Know --- Ozzy)

#986.  Mike Crapo (Even Flow --- Pearl Jam)

#987.  Flying High Again (Lying I Defend --- Ozzy Osbourne)

#988.  Jody Hice (Sacrifice --- Elton John)

#989.  Ronny Jackson (Satisfaction --- Rolling Stones)

#990.  Q Syndrome Stewart Rhodes (Take Me Home Country Roads --- John Denver)

#991.  Mr. Hoadley (Mr. Crowley --- Ozzy Osbourne)

#992.  Fuck Michael Cloud (Shout It Out Loud --- Kiss)

#993.  Diaz-Balart (Kickstart My Heart --- Motley Crue)

#995.  Ducey Fucking Broke Her Hymen (Lucy In The Sky With Diamonds --- The Beatles)

#999.  Let's Go Brandon (I'm Still Standing --- Elton John)

#1001.  Dave Perdue (Peek-A-Boo --- DEVO)

#1002.  Senator Thune (Romeo's Tune --- Steve Forbert)

#1003.  Cornyn's Gay (One Fine Day --- The Chiffons)

#1004.  Sam DeMarco (The Black Widow --- Alice Cooper)

#1005.  Davidson (War Begun --- My Morning Jacket)

#1006.  He's Warren Davidson (It's Only Just Begun --- The Carpenters)

#1008.  Jones (Bones --- Radiohead)

#1010.  The Orange Prolapse Clown, Donald Trump (It's All Over Now, Baby Blue --- Grateful Dead)

#1011.  Donald's A Clown (To Lay Me Down --- Grateful Dead)

#1012.  Donald's A Liar (I Know You Rider --- Grateful Dead)

#1013.  Geoff Diehl (The Wheel --- Grateful Dead)

#1014.  Tennessee Lee (Tennessee Jed --- Grateful Dead)

#1015.  Warren Davidson (When The Sun Goes Down --- Kenny Chesney & Uncle Kracker)

#1016.  Donald Is Gay (Help On The Way --- Grateful Dead)

#1017.  Somebody Save Me (Governor Bill Lee --- Cinderella)

#1018.  Budd Is A Liar (Mud On The Tires --- Brad Paisley)

#1019.  A Coup D'etat (Breaking The Law --- Judas Priest)

#1021.  Bill Lee (Shake Me --- Cinderella)

#1022.  Trump Is Not White (Big City Nights --- Scorpions)

#1023.  Long The Big Lie (Long Slow Goodbye --- Queens Of The Stone Age)

#1031.  Russell Fry (Private Eyes --- Hall & Oats)

#1033.  We're Sending Mike Pence Straight To Hell (We're Sending Our Love Down The Well --- The Simpsons)

#1034.  Lisa McClain (Mistress Of Pain --- Death Angel)

#1035.  Senator Thune (Picasso Moon --- Grateful Dead)

#1036.  Madison Cawthorn (Darlington County --- Bruce Springsteen)

#1037.  Bannon's A Cunt (Band On The Run --- Paul McCartney)

#1039.  Stop The Steal (Seal The Deal --- Volbeat)

#1040.  A Fat Orange Clown (I Won't Back Down --- Tom Petty)

#1041.  Tenney's Full Of Bullshit (Any Way You Want It --- Journey)

#1042.  Donald Trump's A Cunt ('Til The Morning Comes --- Grateful Dead)

#1043.  Donald Trump's A Liar (Set The World Afire --- Megadeth)

#1045.  Donald Trump Is To Blame (Where The Streets Have No Name --- U2)

#1046.  Palin (Lemon --- U2)

#1047.  Palin (Woman --- John Lennon)

#1048.  Kennedy (Faithfully --- Journey)

#1049.  Finchem (Wisdom --- Brian Jonestown Massacre)

#1053.  Beat Peters (Sweet Cheater --- Ratt)

#1054.  Jody Hice (Sacrifice --- Weezer)

#1055.  Georgia's Jody (David Bowie --- Phish)

#1056.  Donald (Fluffhead --- Phish)

#1057.  Granger's Bone (Danger Zone --- The Ramones)

#1058.  Babin's A Dildo (Cabin Down Below --- Tom Petty)

#1059.  Donald's Mother (Wolfman's Brother --- Phish)

#1060.  Lack Of Administration (Lack Of Communication --- Ratt)

#1061.  CPAC (Get Back --- Paul McCartney)

#1062.  Long Is A Cunt (Long May You Run --- Neil Young)

#1063.  Donald Trump Can Go To Hell (Like To Get To Know You Well --- Howard Jones)

#1064.  Scott Is A Jerk (Shot In The Dark --- Ozzy Osbourne)

#1066.  Dr. Crowley (Mr. Crowley --- Ozzy Osbourne)

Please do not share this material with Dr. Monica Crowley and/or former President Donald J. Trump.