Wednesday, April 22, 2009


I want to get my thoughts down on this whole thing. I think this debate is going to continue for the duration. There's way too many conflicting political interests and diverse public opinion. I think the entire torture debate will somehow end up going to the Supreme Court when a CIA military contractor goes after the government, appeals his jail sentence and it makes it way up the chain of justice.
I think this will be one of the landmark court decisions of our lifetime. Similar to stuff like justifying slavery, giving women the right to vote, etc. This will become one of the defining moments in the history of the planet. I just can't see the issue going away, especially in the state our country is right now. I want to explore this further but just don't feel like typing right now. It was more of a reminder.
I think it's also reasonable to assume that we'll get hit militarily while all this goes on. Things always seem to balance out on this planet. This will give Obama some problems when he runs for reelection, especially if its Mitt Romney, who I swear, is well-positioned and is playing his cards perfectly.
I also think it's feasible, while all this transpires, the Supreme Court issues a decision where there must be some kind of independent observer per X # of war prisoners. Keep in mind, the Supreme Court is still marginally to the right. And the guys on the left are getting on in years (plenty of health issues, less so, with the Bush/Reagan appointees).
This whole term "enemy combatant" is guaranteed to come under scrutiny. Can you imagine a Supreme Court fight in the Senate to nominate an Obama appointee while this shit goes down? The judiciary committee is all left and Arlen Spector could get spanked out of the Senate by the PA voters. He's in the middle of all that shit. Never forget Saf's law of the universe. He doesn't believe in religious or spiritual trash, but he know one thing for sure - EVERYTHING VEERS TOWARD THE MIDDLE. I swear to you - the torture debate will continue unabated. Be prepared to hear about it.
It'll also be interesting to see if/when torture or "enhanced interrogation techniques" can be justified - the ticking time bomb scenario.
Democracy is so much more interesting than a dictatorship. You get way more scenarios.

enhanced interrogation techniques

A 2005 memo says that the C.I.A. used waterboarding 183 times in March 2003 against Khalid Shaikh Mohammed, the self-described planner of the Sept. 11, 2001, terrorist attacks.

I found this intriguing. Keep in mind, this happened during the course of one month. That's about 6 times per day for an entire month. They're also talking about sleep deprivation through the use of excessive lighting and sound. And some kind of mass insect exposure in a confined area.
I'm hardly an expert on what constitutes torture, but this sounds like torture to me. THIS HAPPENED ROUGHLY 2 1/2 YEARS AFTER 9/11. How much credible information could you possibly extract? Maybe I'm naive.

I've often thought about how Dick Cheney sold the Iraq war to George Bush. I'm pretty sure this is how it transpired. After 9/11, Cheney correctly came to the conclusion that the greatest threat to the United States was a band of suicidal terrorists working in conjunction with a state sponsor. This sounds credible to me. Hell, Saddam Hussein was worth about 6 billion at one point. The late Yassir Arafat had about 1 billion. There's a ruling class of about 5,000 in Saudi Arabia with basically unlimited funds. Cheney thought to himself... We got lucky this time. These jihadists were harbored by the penniless Taliban in Afghanistan. What happens when the suicidal religious fucks have some real backing?
So we invaded and occupied, ousted the Taliban and chased whatever was left into the Afghan/Pakistan border region. Here's where it gets interesting. Cheney thinks to himself... This just isn't enough. The war in Afghanistan just doesn't cut it. The U.S. needs to send a stronger message to the world that the U.S. will not tolerate terrorists working in concert with rogue governments. I still think he's on credible ground here.
Cheney didn't need to look far to find the next enemy to send a message. Saddam was definitely a regional threat and had previously tried to go nuclear. Cheney figures it's just a matter of time. And to be honest, considering the stranglehold the family had on the country, he was probably right.
Cheney knew when we invaded Iraq, that we most certainly would NOT be greeted as liberators. I swear to fucking god. HE KNEW THIS. The guy is not some naive idiot. He knew there would be endless waves of violence and organized rebellion for about a decade. He knew that a civil war would erupt between the Sunni and Shia. BUT HE NEEDED THE WAR TO SEND THE REST OF THE WORLD THE FOLLOWING MESSAGE... If you're a third world dictator and you align yourself with jihadists, you will be ousted from power and your country will be demolished and transcend into endless chaos.
But he had to sell the war to Bush and he knew that this explanation wouldn't sell to the United States population. So he went with broader themes... The amped up nuclear threat and the axis of evil. Bush would be able to comprehend this. The Iraqi people would welcome us. They've needed us and we will come to their rescue. The scary part is that one person (Cheney) was able to sell it. When you've got a naive Texas country boy in the White House, anything is possible.
The sad truth... I think Dick Cheney had a reasonable position. An Al Gore administration would have just cleaned up Afghanistan. Would that have been a strong enough message to the rest of the world? I'm not so sure. In fact, I doubt it.
I was planning on blogging about torture but ended up on this tangent. Sorry for the confusion.
And I often wonder about the other links on my friend Amanda's blogslist. I access my blog from hers. I occasionally read them and wonder what they must be thinking if they read mine. Their blogs are usually about family and friends, whereas mine is about concerts, looting, terrorism, mediocre restaurants and mythical superheroes such as Cumburglar. They probably think I'm nuts. And they're probably right.

Monday, April 20, 2009


Did you see the youtube video of the two idiots that posted themselves picking their noses and incorporating the snot within the pizza crust? I didn't watch the video but did see the clip on MSNBC. Far be it from me to support a right wing extremist pizza chain, but the incident did spark my interest - strictly from the perspective of it being a public relations disaster. It's fascinating that your company could donate millions to charities, spend time with community projects and perform other philanthropic activities. Then, in one earth-shattering moment, your entire brand and status is dismantled because of the actions of some dipshit in Boone, North Carolina or wherever that happened.
Obviously, fast food chains are particularly vulnerable here. They employ millions of minimum wager earners, most of whom do not have a vested interest in the company. The finger tip in the Wendy's chili incident in California a few years ago was kind of similar. It didn't impact me much because I really like their chili, but I'm sure it deterred many other chili enthusiasts. What about the idiot in Moundsville who stuck his pubes on the Wendy's burger and gave it to the cop? Seems like a disturbing trend has emerged.
Anyway, I got to thinking last night (always a dangerous scenario). What if an internet rumor started online about a McDonald's employee who referred to himself as "The Cumburglar," or I prefer, simply "Cumburglar." He's a "supposedly" fictitious McDonald's grillman that ejaculates into the cheeseburgers. Nobody knows which McDonald's he works at. Could be here in Wheeling. Could be Zanesville, Ohio. Could be in Shanghai, China. Simply put, nobody knows. He has a blog and a credible, realistic myspace page. In the blog, he shares his proclivity for ejaculating into a variety of food items. He often tries to coincide his ejaculative posts when they introduce a new burger or McShake or McNugget dipping sauce or whatever.
My point - wouldn't the public relations people at McDonald's pay huge bucks to squash something like this? If I was the CEO, I'd be willing to go monetary extremes to make sure this never sees the light of day. Interestingly enough, McDonald's is one of the few Fortune 500 companies that has seen its stock rise significantly during the recent recession.
Could you imagine??? What if Cumburglar posted a youtube video that gets immediately removed (for violating the obscenity rules)? But the video is then circulated virally and via email forwards. It could potentially be the most devastating PR nightmare a Fortune 500 company has ever faced. I'm trying to think of one that could top this and I'm left blank. Nike using Indonesian child/slave labor to mass produce sneakers comes to mind. Or should I say "cums" to mind.
By the way, I think Domino's Pizza totally sucks. Assuming you have alternative choices, why the fuck would anyone buy Domino's?
If you gave Cumburglar some phallic attire, that would lend even more credibility to this mythical hero. He'd obviously wear some kind of mask like the original Hamburglar guy in order to conceal his identity. I guess you'd probably want him to wear a McDonald's uniform but with a "special twist" of some kind. Any ideas out there for speculative garb?

Wednesday, April 15, 2009


Well, the lawn saga seems to have been resolved. The manner in which it ended... well, let's just say it felt like being at church. First, I was made to feel bad. Then, I was made a pathetic offer (here's what you must do if you want to stay out of hell). Finally, there was a truly pathetic bargaining attempt to save what was left of my squandered dignity.
Mom's son and his spokesman promptly showed up at 1pm today. Apparently, my neighbor does not want any compensation for his yard or the hillside. Which in all honesty, he owns, not me. I own a tiny sliver at the top. My neighbor only wants a new tarp for his pool. I figure he'll have his lawn and garden crew attend to any repairs on his property. The cemetery didn't file a grievance either and they had a pretty big swath of land that got tracked.
Then, it was inferred how embarrassing this whole incident has been on the original perpetrator. I kind of felt guilty for making a production about everything. Especially since I was treated as the antichrist on our message board.

The lawn spokesman offered to pat down the lawn and reseed it. I said, "Well, I was planning on doing it myself so how about just making me an offer." Gil looks at me and says, "How about $200?" I sheepishly counter with a whopping $225 and then we shook hands. I'll get the check in a couple days and consider the entire matter closed. They both quickly exit the scene of the crime. This entire incident, although it made for good humor, was relatively weak. I mean we're basically talking about an older woman driving over a hillside late one night. It's not like she flew a plane into the World Trade Center.
I spent about 25 mintues stomping the wet ground in my Nikes. It's pretty much level for future lawn mowing. Stomping it out was easy since the lawn was so saturated today. I worked up a pretty good sweat which will suffice as my daily exercise. No grass seed is necessary. It's just a little muddy and I'm sure something will grow there. I'm not entering any lawn and garden contests this summer so we're safe from that perspective.

All in all, I guess you could say I got Gilled in the White. I should have countered with more, I know... I know... but I started to feel pangs of guilt. Maybe this is a fitting conclusion after all. In retrospect, maybe I could have shown a little restraint when communicating this whole ordeal to everyone I know. I think I'll take the proceeds and stock my liquor cabinet - which will benefit everyone. This way we can all commiserate and share in the muddy despair.

Oh, and Danno wins the contest with what we presumably thought was a weak bid of $1.00. Congratulations!

Sunday, April 12, 2009

Saudi judge upholds...

....marriage of 8 year old.

(CNN) -- A Saudi judge has refused for a second time to annul a marriage between an 8-year-old girl and a 47-year-old man, a relative of the girl told CNN.

The most recent ruling, in which the judge upheld his original verdict, was handed down Saturday in the Saudi city of Onaiza, where late last year the same judge rejected a petition from the girl's mother, who was seeking a divorce for her daughter.

The relative said the judge, Sheikh Habib Al-Habib, "stuck by his earlier verdict and insisted that the girl could petition the court for a divorce once she reached puberty." The family member, who requested anonymity, added that the mother will continue to pursue a divorce for her daughter.

The case, which has drawn criticism from local and international rights groups, came to light in December when al-Habib declined to annul the marriage on a legal technicality. The judge ruled the girl's mother -- who is separated from the girl's father -- was not the girl's legal guardian and therefore could not represent her in court, according to Abdullah al-Jutaili, the mother's lawyer.

The girl's father, according to the attorney, arranged the marriage in order to settle his debts with the man, who is "a close friend" of his. At the time of the initial verdict, the judge required the girl's husband to sign a pledge that he would not have sex with her until she reaches puberty, al-Jutaili told CNN. The judge ruled that when the girl reaches puberty, she will have the right to request a divorce by filing a petition with the court, the lawyer said.


The article goes on for a bit. I think it's interesting how our govt. often condemns the use of Sharia law to validate strict Sunni Wahhabist philosophy. But you only heard about the Taliban in Afghanistan. You never hear much of what goes on in Saudi Arabia. Oddly enough, back in the day, Kabul was a pretty progressive city. It attracted a great number of educators and scholars. I seriously doubt Mecca, or its deep outskirts, has ever been considered a bastion of intellectual freedom and educational development.
It's just fascinating how we arm the Saudis to the teeth and generally back them across the board. Good to know the Saudis are with us. Well, except the 15 of the 19 hijackers from 9/11. George Bush Jr. was really on the money when he wanted to democratize the entire Middle East. He was such a visionary. And Karl Rove has the unmitigated audacity to suggest that Obama has a naive approach to foreign policy. Maybe I'm being to hard on our former president. Sometimes Bush reminds me of a current occupant of the White House. That current occupant being the recently adopted Portugese Waterdog "Bo." Maybe Obama was thinking the same thing and wanted to name the dog "Bosh." It would have certainly been a fitting tribute.

Tuesday, April 07, 2009

Indigo Joe's

Mark and I went to Wheeling's newest restaurant in the Highlands today for lunch. I usually wait a month or so before trying out a new restaurant but said "what the hell, let's just go for it."
Great building & great service (Ashley). The parking lot is a bit unusual. Kind of like a dual-tiered rhombus w/ an illegal fire lane of handicapped parking directly in front. The place has a nice feel. Warm, relaxed and inviting. We sat on the restaurant side. I neglected to check out the restrooms or the bar side.
Mark got a corned beef reuben and a side of fries. I opted for the Maui Waui (pronounced Mow-wee Wow-wee) sandwich and a side salad. I normally try not to order food that has super-fun titles. The side salad was alright, nothing spectacular but most important, the bowl was chilled. You wouldn't believe how many times I get a salad and the bowl is room temperature, or even worse, sometimes hot right out of the dishwasher. My sandwich was decent. The tuna was a tiny bit undercooked, but I generally like my fish on the rarer side. However, I think they are going to have a lot of trouble with this type of fish preparation. In the Ohio Valley, people are accustomed to Coleman's fish - DFBAR (Deep Fried Beyond All Recognition). Don't get me wrong - I love Coleman's Fish. TJ's has their own take on how to prepare fish. Just throw it straight in the microwave and nuke it til it's nice and hot.
The reason I'm mentioning this is because their menu has a good amount of fish and one of their "specialties" is the fish tacos. I'm just worried that the wait staff will end up suffering because of what I call OVPS. That's Ohio Valley Palate Syndrome. The majority of diners in the valley - when they think of fish, they think of it either submerged and soaked in butter or DFBAR. There's not a lot of room for compromise with a Triadelphia resident. "Ma, my fish ain't cooked through! Where'd they get this? Schenk Lake? Out the crick?"
It would be a travesty if the wait staff (which was skilled, competent and friendly) has to bear the burden of OVPS in the form of lighter tips. And aren't we in the month of lent right now? I predict that one day, ownership will question the timing of the grand opening. I liked Indigo Joe's though and I'll be back.

Monday, April 06, 2009

my license

I was speaking with a city of Wheeling police officer earlier today. He remarked that the address on my license is inaccurate. "How long ago did you live at your previous address?" I responded, "About 5 years ago." He replied, "You really need to get that updated as soon as possible." I thought to myself, but it expires in August of 2010. It was issued in 2003. He became just a slight bit more adamant, "Yeah, but it's important." The conversation was actually quite jovial.

I must be honest. I don't see myself rushing down to the DMV anytime soon. My insurance and registration are all good, and have my current address. My point - is it a reasonable expectation of the cops that all drivers on the road have the correct address on their license? What if they are trained to think of this as a "red flag." Seems plausible. Not a good sign for college kids who change residences more often than they twitter about their nightly beer consumption.

If it was so important, why wouldn't I be notified by the DMV? How come I've never heard of this? In my world, you get a new license right before the old one expires. I'm not one of these "paranoid of big brother types" - I don't mind the govt. knowing my current address, but I think I'll hold off for another year and 4 months.


It has been insinuated that I'm taking pleasure in the misfortune others. Honestly, I harbor no ill will. To the best of my knowledge, I've never even met this woman. However, I can see how some of my recent ramblings have been insensitive. Therefore, I will immediately cease and desist discussing anymore of this (unless something totally bizarre happens).
After considerable reflection, the lawn damage estimate contest will continue forward.

the saga continues

I went to the Wheeling Police Dept. to obtain a copy of the report so I could submit it to my homeowners insurance company. I assume they'll contact her auto insurance carrier. I paid the $15.00 fee and they said they'd mail it to me in a few days. The desk officer seemed to have trouble locating the case number. It took him about 10 minutes and he offered up the #1628, but said nothing would be available online because it involved a DUI.
Here's an oddity about the incident - the manner in which it was reported by the newspaper. I can't believe I didn't notice it sooner. There's an unusual listing directly above her DUI notice. It reads...

Leaving the scene of an accident
At 2:34 a.m. Saturday, police were called to a Wetzel Street address regarding a domestic. There was no information on the report about leaving the scene of an accident.

This doesn't make any sense. It sounds like they were trying to "merge" the Leaving the scene w/ the DUI but utilize separate headings. It's almost as if the person who printed this decided to look for a way to save his/her own ass. I have a friend working to see if she can uncover any details about the odd wording.
I saw my neighbor leaving his garage this morning as I was coming up the driveway. I thought about stopping but we've got a "don't ask, don't tell" policy that's been going on for 2 years or so. It's really not a don't ask, don't tell. It's more like a "don't look at me, speak to me and stay away from me" policy. I was tempted to initiate a discussion but decided against it. Too risky.
By the way, I hope this woman is alright. I'm assuming she's ok. I honestly have no idea. Everybody I've spoken with claims she's a wonderful woman.
By the way, I enjoyed Gary's facebook status update...
"I wouldn't be surprised if more mothers of former WV politicians crashed into Saf's neighbor's swimming pool." Strong update.

And we've got some preliminary estimates for the contest on the insurance payout...

Saf - $847.00
Paige R. - $2,800
Katie S. - $3,600
Jess W. - $1,100
Gary M. - $1,350

This contest is open to the public. I know, I know... pictures would certainly help. I tried to be as descriptive as possible in the previous blog. Winner gets a Top 10 Vacation Destinations near Wheeling t-shirt and possibly a "certificate of excellence in estimating landscaping costs."

Sunday, April 05, 2009

full disclosure

Here's an excerpt from this mornings Sunday News Register in Wheeling, WV.

At 12:55am Saturday, police arrested M. White, 74, of Wheeling for driving under the influence at an undisclosed location.

At first glance, this probably doesn't seem like headline material. Think again. Let's journey back in time to earlier that morning. I'm at my friend Gigi's house in Pittsburgh presumably minding my own business. All of a sudden, my phone starts ringing incessantly three times in a row. Sensing an emergency, I scramble downstairs. It's my good friend Heather (her last name rhymes with Holla!).
"Eric, around 2am last night a 72 year old woman drove through your lawn and ended up in your neighbor's pool! Call Gary. He has all the details."
I'm stunned, bewildered, confused, flabbergasted... Overcome with a torrent of emotions, I want answers. How could this happen? How the hell do you even get a car into my yard, let alone my neighbor's pool? Heather doesn't have any answers though.
I get back home mid-afternoon to assess the damage. What I'm about to see is eerily reminiscent of the Shock and Awe campaign during the early days of the Iraq war. My lawn has been mercilessly attacked in what appears to be some twisted form of vehicular sodomization. There are mammoth ruts on the hillside all the way down to the yard. Highly visible tire marks scar the entire length of the lawn. Sheer horror.
I"m like WHAT THE FUCK? Apparently, she was trying to turn around in the 3 point turn near my garage and failed miserably. She slid down the hill and ended up next to my fire pit (I currently call it stick mountain). Dazed and confused, I guess she sees the blue tarp covering Bill's pool. I'm assuming she thought, "Oh, praise the lord. Dear Jesus. Goodness gracious. I can see a wrap around driveway in the distance. Thank goodness. Heavens to Betsy." Needless to say, she drives across the tarp and the car starts to sink. Basically, her car met the same fate as Captain Ed's Floating Lounge. What happened next is a matter of pure speculation.
She obviously left the scene. Not sure if she knocked on Bill's door or what. I'm guessing she gathered her wits and called her son. Later that night, the cops showed up to survey the scene. Multiple towing companies show up. And I guess things got a little heated. I wasn't there, but I'm speculating that Meowee was terrified. She's not used to all this kind of stimulus. And Meowee still seems traumitized. Last night, all she could do was sit on the edge of the couch and gaze out the window. She probably blames herself. Meowee, it's not your fault.
I notice in the newspaper it reads "undisclosed location." Undisclosed location??? Undisclosed location my ass. She undisclosed herself all over my yard and hillside. Then she undisclosed herself in Bill's pool.
I just want the truth to come out. Wheeling is notorious for shady political cover-ups. Well, I've got news for the Whites. There's a new head honcho in town and he's BLACK, not white. His name's Obama and we're doing things differently now. There will be transparency from here on out.
Since I'm advocating full disclosure, I must tell you that Gil White was the realtor I bought my house from. Not my realtor, he represented the previous owners. Could it be that I'm the victim of some kind of conspiracy. For five years, the Whites have been plotting. They know I couldn't stand the Bush administration. They know I love Obama. So Gil encourages his mom to do doughnuts in my yard. All the while, she's thinking "I'll show this burn-out what a real burn-out is!" The whole incident really leaves a bad taste in my mouth. Yeah, that's right - bad taste on and around my mouth.
Like I said, there will be full disclosure. I'm going down to the police station tomorrow to check the police report and seek reparations form her insurance carrier. I'm guessing the length of the tire marks in the yard is about 150 ft. The hillside has been sodomized as well. Probably about 50 ft of homo-erotic mutilation. I'm also concerned about the emotional well-being of Meowee. And what about my pain and suffering. Honestly, I'm afraid to leave the house. This could have long lasting ramifications on my limo career.
Anyway, I'll gladly be accepting predictions on how much money I'll get from her insurance. Closest prediction wins a Top 10 Vacation Destinations near Wheeling t-shirt. It's NOT closest without going over. I still hear about the change speculation incident via Merl.
And I almost forgot the best part. There are pictures of the car in the pool on somebody's cell phone. This could be a turning point in my personal blogging history as I will certainly learn how to upload these pics once I get my hands on them.

Wednesday, April 01, 2009

unhappy meal

I've always been skeptical of McDonald's. There's just something disturbing when you watch a corpulent parent and/or guardian taking their morbidly obese child by the hand in the parking lot, guiding their way to the entrance. They have this satiated look of contentment as if they're approaching hallowed ground. I'm sure for many it truly is a sacred experience. I also don't care for the concept of The Hamburglar. Why would this guy violate his parole in a never-ending quest to acquire dollar hamburgers? And I also despise adding the prefix "Mc" to every word imaginable.

Now is the time for payback. Just today I saw an internet ad for a free chicken wrap at Tim Hortons. Available today from 11:30am > 2pm only on April 1. At first, I thought it might be an April Fool's Day internet hoax. Heather and I went there for lunch and sure enough, it was legit. But it got me wondering, what if you set up a facebook ad and email chain letter that resembled the infamous Neiman Marcus Cookie recipe from the early days of the internet. For those that don't know, some guy had a spat with Neiman Marcus, so he found out the recipe for their "secret" cookie and encouraged people to fwd the recipe to everyone they knew. Back in the late 1990's, just about everyone on the planet had this fwd in their inbox.
Here's my idea. Granted it's a bit more diabolical and disruptive. I'd prefer to use facebook since it's way more efficient and effective. Stay with me here... First you design an ad that says "McDonald's is celebrating their 100th Anniversary." They have decided, that in these recessionary times, they will give away a free Happy Meal to every customer on the first Monday of every month for an entire year! Sounds somewhat credible. The whole team is in the ad. You've got Ronald McDonald, the purple entity Grimace and, of course, the Hamburglar pedophile along with the corporate logo. The whole thing looks very convincing and official.
Of course, once this thing starts making the facebook rounds, Mcdonald's comes out and says it was all a hoax and they apologize for any confusion. Now, I can already hear what you're thinking - Great idea, Saf! You suck. What's the purpose here? I can't believe I'm reading your blogshit.

NOW WE TAKE IT ONE STEP FURTHER. There is a follow up email ready to go after all this has unfolded. It explains that what started as some kind of pathetic internet hoax is actually coming true. People are getting free happy meals. Apparently, in several cities across the country and even some locations outside the U.S., there have been numerous accounts of people going through the McDonald drive-thrus. They request their free happy meal. The brittle voice responds over the intercom, "I'm sorry sir, this was all just one big hoax." In all these situations, the person responded with, "Hey, I'm not going anywhere til I get my free happy meal as promised. I'm going to TURN OFF MY IGNITION." All of a sudden, the drive thru is clogged. What are they really going to do? The manager will tell you to get lost but if you hold your ground, they have no options outside calling the authorities.
Can you imagine the fallout from people doing this at every McDonald's nationwide? I'm sure there are tons of people (mostly males ages 16-35) who would try this out if they thought it could work. What's Mcdonald's going to do - Call the cops everytime someone pulls this routine? You've got to realize that the new ad would have testimonials from people who have successfully obtained their free happy meal. You alter the individual accounts of their particular experiences. I could write a ton of these until it takes off on its own.
And the new facebook ad actually encourages people to try it and document their experiences. It begins to spread like a virus and basically the thing has a momentum all of its own. Also in the ad, you leak a phony corporate memo that was sent out to all participating McDonalds. In it, the Vice President of Sales mentions that corporate has decided it's best to just give away the free happy meals rather than put up a fight.
I swear to god. This idea has merit. And it would be a typical facebook group entitled "I got a Free Happy Meal from McDonald's." The best part of it all - For many people, it would become a truly "happy" meal. At the same time, it would make everyone at McDonald's decidedly "unhappy."
Saf, why all the resentment? Well, about 4 years ago I ordered a meal and the senile old lady in the pick-up window didn't include my fries. Like I said earlier - Now it's time for payback! Fuck Mickey D's - The only true Mickey D. is the drummer from King Diamond.