#1761. Congressman Blum

Rodney Leland Blum (great name by the way) was an American businessman and politician who served as the U.S. representative for Iowa's 1st congressional district from 2015 to 2019.

Blum gets intimately acquainted with the Orange Prolapse.

The Davenport special.

Blum got his ass kicked by a female midwestern Democrat in 2018.

		Candidate		Votes
✔		Abby Finkenauer (D)		170,342
		Rod Blum (R)		153,442

Blum had a great idea for all of his town hall meetings.  Requiring Southeastern Iowa Cornhuskers to present a valid ID in order to authenticate their citizenship.  Otherwise you're not allowed in.  Smart!

 

Blum
sonofsaf

Trump we defend
That asshole again
Biden is strong
The Proud Boys will fight
Jew-in-law son
Ivanka’s a cunt
Congressman Blum

His toilet is crappy
Toilets are crappy
Toilets are crappy
Toilets are crappy

Donald’s a joke
A comedy too
Fake news for sale
He’ll sell it to you
No quarter pound
A Big Mac allowed
Orange Prolapse clown

Rod wants to bend over
Wants to bend over
Wants to bend over
Wants to bend over

Kushner’s dumb, Donald cheats
Fish filet, McDonald’s creep
Fries are burned, pink slime chump
Stormy learned, Trump’s fucked up

Trump we defend
That asshole again
Biden is strong
The Proud Boys will fight
Jew-in-law son
Ivanka’s a cunt
Congressman Blum

His toilet is crappy
Toilets are crappy
Toilets are crappy
Toilets are crappy

Congressman Blum
Congressman Blum
Congressman Blum
Congressman Blum
Congressman Blum
Congressman Blum
Congressman Blum
Congressman Blum
Congressman Blum
Congressman Blum
Congressman Blum
Congressman Blum

 

Dumb
Nirvana

I'm not like them
But I can pretend
The sun is gone
But I have a light
The day is done
But I'm having fun
I think I'm dumb

Or maybe just happy
Think I'm just happy
Think I'm just happy
Think I'm just happy

My heart is broke
But I have some glue
Help me inhale
And mend it with you
We'll float around
And hang out on clouds
Then we'll come down

And have a hangover
Have a hangover
Have a hangover
Have a hangover

Skin the sun, fall asleep
Wish away, the soul is cheap
Lesson learned, wish me luck
Soothing burn, wake me up

I'm not like them
But I can pretend
The sun is gone
But I have a light
The day is done
But I'm having fun
I think I'm dumb

Or maybe just happy
Think I'm just happy
Think I'm just happy
Think I'm just happy

I think I'm dumb
I think I'm dumb
I think I'm dumb
I think I'm dumb
I think I'm dumb
I think I'm dumb
I think I'm dumb
I think I'm dumb
I think I'm dumb
I think I'm dumb
I think I'm dumb
I think I'm dumb

Nirvana played the Burgh in 1989 and 1991.  Once at the Sonic Temple in Wilkinsburg.

The other time at the Graffiti in Oakland.

I normally don't care much for when rock bands go the totally acoustic route.  But that 1993 MTV unplugged set was easily, hands down, the best acoustic performance all-time.

The Big Lie 100: (#924)

#1740.  CPAC (Stand Back --- Stevie Nicks)

#1741.  CPAC's Frightnin' (Smokestack Lightnin' --- Grateful Dead)

#1742.  Hatin' Nate Schatzline (Lay It On the Line --- Triumph)

#1743.  Nate Schatzline (Hold The Line --- Toto)

#1744.*  Faking The Violence (Breaking The Silence --- Queensryche)

#1745.  Treason He's A Cunt (Seasons In The Sun --- Terry Jacks)

#1746.  Tucker (Fucker --- Brian Jonestown Massacre)

#1747.  Lake's My Enemy (Cake And Sodomy --- Marilyn Manson)

#1748.  Newt (Cute --- Bobby Darrin)

#1749.  Donald Trump Is Gay (Take My Breath Away --- Berlin)

#1750.  Markwayne Mullin (Cocaine And Gin --- Kid Rock)

#1751.  Stormy's Better (Stormy Weather --- Billie Holiday)

#1752.  Stormy's Wetter (Stormy Weather --- The Pixies)

#1753.  Bell (Hell --- Foo Fighters)

#1754.  Will Will Slap You (We Will Rock You --- Queen)

#1755.  Donald Trump's a Cunt (On The Wings Of Love --- Jeffrey Osbourne)

#1756.  Donald Is A Child (Bad Boys Running Wild --- Scorpions)

#1757.  Donald's A Child (Running Wild --- Judas Priest)

#1758.  McConnell (Raising Hell --- Tom Morello & Ben Harper)

#1759.  ... Jim Justice Asshole (... And Justice For All --- Metallica) 

#1760.  Mike Pence Is Shit (Don't Fence Me In --- Willie Nelson)

#1761.  Blum (Dumb --- Nirvana)

* - link unavailable.  Contact the internet for an appropriate explanation.

Please do not share this information with former Congressman Rod Blum (R-IA) and/or former President Donald J. Trump.

#1760. Mike Pence Is Shit

While in college, a youthful Mike Pence left the Catholic Church and became an evangelical born-again Christian.  Much to the disappointment of his very own mother.  

 

Mother!!! (And I'm not talkin' Danzig).  Fucker!

A solo Pence dump. Meh.

A quality Point State Park "insurrection dump."

A relatively uninspired Witch Hunt dump.

A panini-styled Trump Dump on the Rachel Carson Bridge.  Likely flattened by a vengeful e-Scooter.

 

Mike Pence Is Shit
sonofsaf

Oh Donald’s plan it’s a plan to spread the big lies as love
Mike Pence is shit
Trump has tried revisionism the ultimate stunt
Mike Pence is shit

Indiana’s in hell with some VP sleeze
Family is worse for wear Orange Prolapse disease
Kapaernick whenever Colin’s on his knees
Mike Pence is shit

Just fuck the Jews and all of the psychobabble more and more of the big lies
And the abuse let us ponder truth to squander wants a free Big Mac and fries
Donald’s a lying fat bitch Stormy’s chest relentless
Laid by a goon along with Capitol offenses
All of the troubles is why ‘cause Mike Pence is… Mike Pence is shit

[guitar - keyboards]

Just fuck the Jews

Mike Pence is shit
Mike Pence is shit

 

Don't Fence Me In
Willie Nelson

Oh give me land lots of land under starry skies above
Don't fence me in
Let me ride through the wide open country that I love
Don't fence me in

Let me be by myself in the evening breeze
Listen to the murmur of the cottonwood trees
Send me out forever but I ask you please
Don't fence me in

Just turn me loose let me straddle my old saddle underneath the western skies
On my cayuse let me wander over yonder till I see the mountains rise
I want to ride to the ridge where the west commences
Gaze at the moon until I lose my senses
Can't look at hubbles and I can't stand fences don't fence me in

[guitar - keyboards]

Just turn me loose...

Don't fence me in
Don't fence me in

 

The entire existence of Mike Pence rarely warrants actual conversation.

In a return to Pittsburgh this summer, Willie Nelson will headline the Outlaw Music Festival.  August 12 at Star Lake along with John Fogerty.

 

Random encounter in a hotel parking lot.  Near the Adirondacks in upstate New York.

 

From 1968 to the present, Willie Nelson has played the Burgh a grand total of 18 times.

Willie Nelson:

9-21-02, Post-Gazette Pavilion, Burgettstown, PA (Farm Aid)

10-16-03, Capitol Theatre, Wheeling, WV

2-10-06, Dodge Theatre, Phoenix, AZ

9-16-17, KeyBank Pavilion, Burgettstown, PA (Farm Aid)

9-7-18, Keybank Pavilion, Burgettstown, PA (Outlaw Music Festival)

7-31-22, The Pavilion at Star Lake, Burgettstown, PA (Outlaw Music Festival)

The Big Lie 100: (#923)

#1740.  CPAC (Stand Back --- Stevie Nicks)

#1741.  CPAC's Frightnin' (Smokestack Lightnin' --- Grateful Dead)

#1742.  Hatin' Nate Schatzline (Lay It On the Line --- Triumph)

#1743.  Nate Schatzline (Hold The Line --- Toto)

#1744.*  Faking The Violence (Breaking The Silence --- Queensryche)

#1745.  Treason He's A Cunt (Seasons In The Sun --- Terry Jacks)

#1746.  Tucker (Fucker --- Brian Jonestown Massacre)

#1747.  Lake's My Enemy (Cake And Sodomy --- Marilyn Manson)

#1748.  Newt (Cute --- Bobby Darrin)

#1749.  Donald Trump Is Gay (Take My Breath Away --- Berlin)

#1750.  Markwayne Mullin (Cocaine And Gin --- Kid Rock)

#1751.  Stormy's Better (Stormy Weather --- Billie Holiday)

#1752.  Stormy's Wetter (Stormy Weather --- The Pixies)

#1753.  Bell (Hell --- Foo Fighters)

#1754.  Will Will Slap You (We Will Rock You --- Queen)

#1755.  Donald Trump's a Cunt (On The Wings Of Love --- Jeffrey Osbourne)

#1756.  Donald Is A Child (Bad Boys Running Wild --- Scorpions)

#1757.  Donald's A Child (Running Wild --- Judas Priest)

#1758.  McConnell (Raising Hell --- Tom Morello & Ben Harper)

#1759.  ... Jim Justice Asshole (... And Justice For All --- Metallica) 

#1760.  Mike Pence Is Shit (Don't Fence Me In --- Willie Nelson)

* - link unavailable.  Contact the internet for an appropriate explanation.

Please do not share this information with Mike Pence and/or former President Donald J. Trump.

#1759. ...Jim Justice Asshole

The results are in.  And West Virginia is once again #1... in teen pregnancy, use of smokeless tobacco, 4-Wheeler fatalities, illiteracy, bigotry and poverty. 

Bestiality too!

But worst of all, the state's wealthiest individual, Governor Jim Justice (R-WV) recently fell from billionaire status back into mega-millionaire territory.  Many think he'll announce a bid for Joe Manchin's coveted U.S. Senate seat in 2024.  Justice has promised that if elected, his dog Baby, and it's asshole, will play a "distinguished and prominent" role in the United States Congress.

 

 

Jim Justice Asshole
sonofsaf

Marjorie’s a Taylor Greene
Cock she’s sucking
Asshole's sore BeBest a whore
Cunt is fucking
She’s a piece of MAGA right
From Trump Tower
Glamour of a pig flushes you
Toilet power

The Donald Trump insanity
Relying on extremity
‘Cause Forty-five is really gay
‘Cause Forty-five
‘Cause Forty-five has cum to play
Kushner’s a damn Jew

Salad is tossed
Anus is gaped
Justice is long
Stormy’s g-string
Justice the cunt
Kushner’s a Jew
His thing is small
Mentally dim
Has no
Appeal

Cavity is wanting bone
Stop the stealing
1-6 was an atrocity
Stop believing
All the lies the right churns
Trumpers don’t mind
Insurrection fucking you
Trump’s so unkind

The Donald Trump insanity
Relying on extremity
‘Cause Forty-five is really gay
‘Cause Forty-five
‘Cause Forty-five has cum to play
Kushner’s a damn Jew

Salad is tossed
Anus is gaped
Justice is long
Stormy’s g-string
Justice the cunt
Kushner’s a Jew
His thing is small
Mentally dim
Has no
Appeal

Jared Kushner can’t escape
Jew ass kissin’
Poll the red states lost their grip
Stormy’s suckin’
Donald J. Trump we will defend
Fake newsreel
Kushner’s a Jew with much to sell
Maybe steal

The Donald Trump insanity
Relying on extremity
‘Cause Forty-five is really gay
‘Cause Forty-five
‘Cause Forty-five has cum to play
Kushner’s a damn wuss

Salad is tossed
Anus is gaped
Justice is long
Stormy’s g-string
Justice the cunt
Kushner’s a Jew
His thing is small
Mentally dim
Has no
Appeal

Kushner’s a Jew
His thing is small
Mentally dim
Derek
Foreal*

 

...And Justice For All
Metallica

Halls of justice painted green
Money talking
Power wolves beset your door
Hear them stalking
Soon you’ll please their appetite
They devour
Hammer of justice crushes you
Overpower

The ultimate in vanity
Exploiting their supremacy
I can’t believe the things you say
I can’t believe
I can’t believe the price you pay
Nothing can save you

Justice is lost
Justice is raped
Justice is gone
Pulling your strings
Justice is done
Seeking no truth
Winning is all
Find it so grim
So true
So real

Apathy their stepping stone
So unfeeling
Hidden deep animosity
So deceiving
Through your eyes their light burns
Hoping to find
Inquisition sinking you
With prying minds

The ultimate in vanity
Exploiting their supremacy
I can’t believe the things you say
I can’t believe
I can’t believe the price you pay
Nothing can save you

Justice is lost
Justice is raped
Justice is gone
Pulling your strings
Justice is done
Seeking no truth
Winning is all
Find it so grim
So true
So real

Lady Justice has been raped
Truth assassin
Rolls of red tape seal your lips
Now you’re done in
Their money tips her scales again
Make your deal
Just what is truth? I cannot tell
Cannot feel

The ultimate in vanity
Exploiting their supremacy
I can’t believe the things you say
I can’t believe
I can’t believe the price we pay
Nothing can save us

Justice is lost
Justice is raped
Justice is gone
Pulling your strings
Justice is done
Seeking no truth
Winning is all
Find it so grim
So true
So real

Seeking no truth
Winning is all
Find it so grim
So true
So real

I should really go back and clean up this parody.  It has "crick potential."

Back in 1989, the collective Phi Beta Alpha fraternity at the University of Dayton used to call me "Justice."  Why?  Because I once wore this t-shirt to one of their many keg parties on Kiefaber Ave. in the ghetto.

 

Justice is just one of my many nicknames...

Saf, Saffy, Slaffy, sonofsaf, Staph, Staph Infection, Safershit, Stein, Steen, Saffa Sucka Dick, Waferbean, Papa Saffy, Rick, Ricky, Ricky Ticky Taffy, E-Rock, Easy-E, Jeff Goldblum, Sketch, Metal, Justice, Jew Boy, Jew Fuck, Jew Bastard, Jew Hovah, Hebe, Lovee, Island Rat, Hippie, Reuben Boone, Magistrate, Dad, Daddy, MLife, Damone, Three Putz, Schnooks, Manifesto Fucktard and God.

And of course, Scalping Jew.

From 1988 to 2022, Metallica has rocked the Burgh a grand total of 11 times.

Metallica:

6-15-88, Three Rivers Stadium, Pittsburgh, PA

6-22-88, Rubber Bowl, Akron, OH

11-18-88, Cincinnati Gardens, Cincinnati, OH

4-16-89, Hara Arena, Dayton, OH

7-26-92, Three Rivers Stadium, Pittsburgh, PA 

3-26-97, Civic Arena, Pittsburgh, PA

10-18-18, PPG Paints Arena, Pittsburgh, PA

 

The Big Lie 100: (#922)

#1740.  CPAC (Stand Back --- Stevie Nicks)

#1741.  CPAC's Frightnin' (Smokestack Lightnin' --- Grateful Dead)

#1742.  Hatin' Nate Schatzline (Lay It On the Line --- Triumph)

#1743.  Nate Schatzline (Hold The Line --- Toto)

#1744.*  Faking The Violence (Breaking The Silence --- Queensryche)

#1745.  Treason He's A Cunt (Seasons In The Sun --- Terry Jacks)

#1746.  Tucker (Fucker --- Brian Jonestown Massacre)

#1747.  Lake's My Enemy (Cake And Sodomy --- Marilyn Manson)

#1748.  Newt (Cute --- Bobby Darrin)

#1749.  Donald Trump Is Gay (Take My Breath Away --- Berlin)

#1750.  Markwayne Mullin (Cocaine And Gin --- Kid Rock)

#1751.  Stormy's Better (Stormy Weather --- Billie Holiday)

#1752.  Stormy's Wetter (Stormy Weather --- The Pixies)

#1753.  Bell (Hell --- Foo Fighters)

#1754.  Will Will Slap You (We Will Rock You --- Queen)

#1755.  Donald Trump's a Cunt (On The Wings Of Love --- Jeffrey Osbourne)

#1756.  Donald Is A Child (Bad Boys Running Wild --- Scorpions)

#1757.  Donald's A Child (Running Wild --- Judas Priest)

#1758.  McConnell (Raising Hell --- Tom Morello & Ben Harper)

#1759.  ... Jim Justice Asshole (... And Justice For All --- Metallica)

* - link unavailable.  Contact the internet for an appropriate explanation.

 

Please do not share this information with Governor Jim Justice (R-WV) and/or former President Donald J. Trump.