Monday, March 13, 2023

#1754. Will Will Slap You

Last night we watched the Oscars.  Usually Trump will slam them for low ratings or ridicule a few minority actresses.  But the Orange Prolapse remained surprisingly silent. 

At the very least, he could've made some disparaging remarks about the elitist menu.

Main Course:

  • Mini fish and chips
  • Fried in beef droppings and served in a cone 
  • Tiny chicken pies with black truffle shavings
  • Chef Puck's version of beef Wellington 

Italian (5 kinds of pasta)

  • Agnolotti
  • Pasta with truffles
  • Vegan pizza

Asian

  • Chinese-spiced, Hunan eggplant over rice 
  • A vegetarian version of west Hollywood's Merois restaurant's crispy rice crab salad
  • Japanese Miyazaki Wagyu 
  • Smoked salmon Oscar Matzo 

Drinks

  • Don Julio tequila
  • Rose champagne by Fleur de Miraval
  • Wines from Domaine Charence Dillon

Desserts

  • Chocolate cigar
  • Trifle with sherry, topped with a maraschino cherry.


No Big Mac.  No Filet-o-Fish.  No French fries.  No ketchup.  And no vanilla shake.


Lame.



 

Will Will Slap You
sonofsaf

Nigga you a homeboy not a flyboy
Replayin’ the beat down smack upon the biggest stage
You cri-minal disgrace
You basket case
Shit is now about critical race
Hittin’

Will will Will will slap you
Will will Will will slap you

Nigga not a cock fan Rock fan
Poutin’ to the beat ‘cause alopecia’s here to stay
Shoulda fought back with mace
A basket case
Shit’s never over more critical race

Will will Will will slap you
(Bullshit now)
Will will Will will slap you

Nigga you a mad man bad man
Needin’ alibis wanna cheat on the Pinkett hey
You cri-minal disgrace
Basket case
Stormy's bigger tits are motorboatin’ yo face

Will will Will will slap you
(Bullshit!)
Will will Will will slap you

(Stormy’s better)

Will will Will will slap you
Will will Will will slap you

(Not white)

 

 

We Will Rock You
Queen

Buddy you're a boy make a big noise
Playin' in the street gonna be a big man some day
You got mud on yo' face
You big disgrace
Kickin' your can all over the place
Singin'

We will we will rock you
We will we will rock you

Buddy you're a young man hard man
Shoutin' in the street gonna take on the world some day
You got blood on yo' face
You big disgrace
Wavin' your banner all over the place

We will we will rock you
(Sing it out!)
We will we will rock you

Buddy you're an old man poor man
Pleadin' with your eyes gonna make you some peace some day
You got mud on your face
Big disgrace
Somebody better put you back into your place

We will we will rock you
(Sing it!)
We will we will rock you

(Everybody)

We will we will rock you
We will we will rock you

(Alright)



My third parody of Queen's immortal anthem.

Back in 2019, I penned "We Will Bite You" --- a tribute to the legendary tabloid Bat Boy character.

And a few months ago, I wrote #1583.  "Ye Will Fuck You" (Kanye West)


Queen (w/ Adam Lambert):

7-31-19, PPG Paints Arena, Pittsburgh, PA
 
Normally, based on content and relevance, this song would not be included in The Big Lie 100.  However, after last year's slap heard 'round the world, radio shock jock bitch, with pesky cock jock itch, Howard Stern compared Will Smith to the Orange Prolapse.  So I decided to threw this parody onto the heap.
 

The Big Lie 100: (#917)

#1740.  CPAC (Stand Back --- Stevie Nicks)

#1741.  CPAC's Frightnin' (Smokestack Lightnin' --- Grateful Dead)

#1742.  Hatin' Nate Schatzline (Lay It On the Line --- Triumph)

#1743.  Nate Schatzline (Hold The Line --- Toto)

#1744.*  Faking The Violence (Breaking The Silence --- Queensryche)

#1745.  Treason He's A Cunt (Seasons In The Sun --- Terry Jacks)

#1746.  Tucker (Fucker --- Brian Jonestown Massacre)

#1747.  Lake's My Enemy (Cake And Sodom--- Marilyn Manson)

#1748.  Newt (Cute --- Bobby Darrin)

#1749.  Donald Trump Is Gay (Take My Breath Away --- Berlin)

#1750.  Markwayne Mullin (Cocaine And Gin --- Kid Rock)

#1751.  Stormy's Better (Stormy Weather --- Billie Holiday)

#1752.  Stormy's Wetter (Stormy Weather --- The Pixies)

#1753.  Bell (Hell --- Foo Fighters)

#1754.  Will Will Slap You (We Will Rock You --- Queen)


* - link unavailable.  Contact the internet for an appropriate explanation.


Please do not share this material with Will Smith and/or former President Donald J. Trump.



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