Sunday, July 25, 2021

#556. Guardians

Statement by Donald J. Trump, 45th President of the United States of America

07/22/21

Can anybody believe that the Cleveland Indians, a storied and cherished baseball franchise since taking the name in 1915, are changing their name to the Guardians? Such a disgrace, and I guarantee that the people who are most angry about it are the many Indians of our Country. Wouldn’t it be an honor to have a team named the Cleveland Indians, and wouldn’t it be disrespectful to rip that name and logo off of those jerseys?  The people of Cleveland cannot be thrilled and I, as a FORMER baseball fan, cannot believe things such as this are happening. A small group of people, with absolutely crazy ideas and policies, is forcing these changes to destroy our culture and heritage. At some point, the people will not take it anymore!

 

Scroll down for my rebuttal.

Dedicated to Pocahontas a/k/a Senator Elizabeth Warren (D-MA).

 

The Orange Prolapse loved his Cleveland Indians jersey... but now has legitimate reservations. 


 

Guardians
sonofsaf

Cleveland is the place to fight
Changing names is the owner’s right
Prejudice will be resolved
If we all just get involved

No doubt, save our city
Ballpark man, kinda shitty
Trump should be charged with sedition
Because he really blows
When it comes down to hugs and kissing
Disgusting phlegm
The insurrection
A Cleveland recreation

Watching fake news you’re gonna burn
Our Guardian teammates having learned
The ultimate Orange Prolapse man
Oath Keepers and Proud Boys bitter and

No doubt, save our city
Ballpark man, kinda shitty
Trump should be charged with sedition
Because he really blows
When it comes down to hugs and kissing
Disgusting phlegm
The insurrection
A Cleveland recreation

Lie for the Guardians, oh
Die for the Guardians
Lie for the Guardians
Oh lie, lie, lie for the Guardians

Donald Trump we’re not a fan
Grease and shit McDonald’s man
We are at our last wits
Hatred and prejudice

No doubt, save our city
Ballpark man, kinda shitty
Trump should be charged with sedition
Because he really blows
When it comes down to hugs and kissing
Disgusting phlegm
The insurrection
A Cleveland recreation

Lie for the Guardians
Die for the Guardians
Lie for the Guardians
Lie, lie, lie for the Guardians

No chance!

Conspiracy, it’s just some mental masturbation
Independent George’s worlds collide conflagration
Prejudice, which Donald Trump knows all about
A fag and massive dullard who can only whine and pout

Cleveland is the place to fight
Changing names is the owner’s right
Prejudice will be resolved,
If we all just get involved

No doubt, save our city
Ballpark man, kinda shitty
Trump should be charged with sedition
Because he really blows
When it comes down to hugs and kissing
Disgusting phlegm
The insurrection
A Cleveland recreation

Lie for the Guardians
Die for the Guardians
Lie for the Guardians
Lie, lie, lie for the Guardians


Indians
Anthrax

We all see in black and white
When it comes to someone else's fight
No one ever gets involved
Apathy can never solve

Forced out, brave and mighty
Stolen land, they can't fight it
Hold on to pride and tradition
Even though they know
How much their lives are really missing
We're dissing them
On reservations
A hopeless situation

Respect is something that you earn
Our Indian brothers' getting burned
Original American
Turned into a second class citizen

Forced out, brave and mighty
Stolen land, they can't fight it
Hold on to pride and tradition
Even though they know
How much their lives are really missing
We're dissing them
On reservations
A hopeless situation

Cry for the Indians, oh
Die for the Indians
Cry for the Indians
Oh cry, cry, cry for the Indians

Love the land and fellow man
Peace is what we strive to have
Some folks have none of this
Hatred and prejudice

Forced out, brave and mighty
Stolen land, they can't fight it
Hold on to pride and tradition
Even though they know
How much their lives are really missing
We're dissing them
On reservations
A hopeless situation

Cry for the Indians
Die for the Indians
Cry for the Indians
Cry, cry, cry for the Indians

War dance!

Territory, it's just the body of the nation
The people that inhabit it make its configuration
Prejudice, something we all can do without
The flag of many colors is what this land's all about

We all see in black and white
When it comes to someone else's fight
No one ever gets involved, no one
Apathy can never solve

Forced out, brave and mighty
Stolen land, they can't fight it
Hold on to pride and tradition
Even though they know
How much their lives are really missing
We're dissing them
On reservations
A hopeless situation

Cry for the Indians
Die for the Indians
Cry for the Indians
Cry, cry, cry for the Indians




 

Anthrax:

7-26-87, Buckeye Lake Music Center, Hebron, OH (opened for Motley Crue & Whitesnake)

4-24-89, Hara Arena, Dayton, OH (Headbanger's Ball w/ Exodus and Helloween)

11-17-11, Stage AE, Pittsburgh, PA (along with Death Angel and Testament)

Please do not share this material with any metal heads who are employed by the Cleveland Guardians. 

 

Friday, July 23, 2021

#555. The Big Lie

I've already done a slew of parodies about the Orange Prolapse.  Many of them reference the big lie.  But not directly in the title.  So now, I've entered into this new "subset" phase.  I'll be forgoing the standard preamble and simply provide an updated list of tunes.  Along with an embarrassing photo or humiliating video clip.



 

#390.  Big Lie (Free Ride --- Edgar Winter)

#487.  Donald's Big Lie (Mr. Blue Sky --- E.L.O.)

#495.  American Lie (American Pie --- Don McLean)

#520.  The Big Lie (When Doves Cry --- Prince)

#530.  Big Lie (High Time --- Grateful Dead)

#545.  Big Lie (Goodbye --- Night Ranger)

#548.  Trump World's, Big Lie (Big Girls, Don't Cry --- Frankie Valli & The Four Seasons)  

#549.  All A Big Lie (Live And Let Die --- Paul McCartney)

#550.  Would Trump Lie To You (Would I Lie To You --- Annie Lennox)

#552.  Big Liar (Big Spender --- Shirley Bassey)
 
#553.  Big Lie (Big Me --- Foo Fighters)

#555.  The Big Lie (Let Her Cry --- Hootie And The Blowfish)


 

The Big Lie
sonofsaf

He shits alone on a toilet
Wantin’ to tweet the fake news all the time
He says, "They love me from coast to coast"
But he's not very kind

He’s super fat not thin, commits seven deadly sins
Likes to talk but doesn’t think
He doesn’t like to share, he laughs at the poor and doesn’t care
With clown makeup on but not a faggot, queer, or gay

And spread the big lie regardless of all the pain
He’s a king despite Big Macs and weight gain
He’s the show, likes to talk shit 'cause it's free
And when the fun becomes the sorrow, you will see, you will see

Donald Trump sittin’ on a throne, had a cameo in Home Alone
Playin’ with his mushroom penis not okay
That Kushner boy is a Jew
Sticks cock inside of Ivanka’s ass for you
So he is the clown orange fuckin' queer and Melania’s a MILF

Spreadin’ the big lie regardless of all the pain
He’s a king despite Big Macs and weight gain
He’s the show, likes to talk shit 'cause it's free
And when the fun becomes the sorrow, you will see, you will see
No, no, no, no

The big lie the big lie regardless of all the pain
He’s a king, despite Big Macs and weight gain
He’s the show, likes to talk shit 'cause it's free
And when the fun becomes the sorrow, you will see, ah

The right likes to deceive, lie about what they can achieve
Because in their world they’ll spill the blood now don’t you know
Tell the truth about the big lie
He's a clown pussy pouch and fried’ fuckin’
Obama can’t be free
Won't you lock him up and

The big lie the big lie regardless of all the pain
He’s a king, despite Big Macs and weight gain
He’s the show, likes to talk shit 'cause it's free
And when the fun becomes the sorrow, you will see

The big lie the big lie regardless of all the pain
He’s a king, despite Big Macs and weight gain
He’s the show, likes to talk shit 'cause it's free
And when the fun becomes the sorrow, you will see
Ah, you will see

 

Let Her Cry
Hootie and the Blowfish

She sits alone by a lamp post
Tryin' to find the thought that's escaped her mind
She says, "Dad's the one I love the most
But Stipe's not far behind"

She never lets me in, only tells me where she's been
When she's had too much to drink
I say that I don't care, I just run my hands through her dark hair
Then I pray to God you gotta help me fly away

And just let her cry if the tears fall down like rain
Let her sing if it eases all her pain
Let her go, let her walk right out on me
And if the sun comes up tomorrow, let her be, let her be

This morning I woke up alone, found a note standing by the phone
Sayin', "Maybe, maybe I'll be back someday"
I wanted to look for you
You walked in, I didn't know just what I should do
So I sat back down and had a beer and felt sorry for myself

Sayin' let her cry if the tears fall down like rain
Let her sing if it eases all her pain
Let her go, let her walk right out on me
And if the sun comes up tomorrow, let her be, let her be
No, no, no, no

Let her cry let her cry if the tears fall down like rain
Let her sing if it eases all her pain
Let her go, let her walk right out on me
And if the sun comes up tomorrow, let her be, ah

Last night I tried to leave, cried so much I could not believe
She was the same girl I fell in love with long ago
She went in the back to get high
I sat down on my couch and cried, yellin'
"Oh, mama, please help me"
Won't you hold my hand and

Let her cry if the tears fall down like rain
Let her sing if it eases all her pain
Let her go, let her walk right out on me
And if the sun comes up tomorrow, let her be

Let her cry, if the tears fall down like rain
Let her sing, if it eases all her pain
Let her go, let her walk right out on me
And if the sun comes up tomorrow, let her be
Ah, let her be



Hootie and the Blowfish?  Always thought that was a peculiar name for a black guy frontman with a rock band turned country.  Seriously, what else is in store?  Perhaps a duet of some sort?

Her ass is black!  Her ass ain't white!  It is a butt.  And it is bad.  The ass of strife.  The ass of strife

Since 1995, Hootie and his entourage of poisonous fish have played yinzer country 9 times.  I remember scalping one of their concerts out Star Lake.  Made a killing.  Virtually certain I've never seen them perform live.  But wouldn't stake my life on it. 

 

As far as I'm concerned, there can be only one "Hoot."  And it ain't Darius Rucker.

Please do not share this material with former President Donald J. Trump.


#554. Dole !!!!!!!!!!

Yesterday, former U.S. Senator and 1996 presidential candidate Bob Dole (R-KS) gave an interview.  


He said that he "is sorta Trumped out."  I would tend to agree.  Didn't know we had something in common.

 


 

Dole !!!!!!!!!!
sonofsaf



Goal !!!!!!!!!!
various Central & South American soccer announcers 


Bob Dole used to do those ED (Erectile Dysfunction) commercials.  So one could also make the argument that he "is sorta humped out" as well.  In the 1996 election, I voted for Bill Clinton and Al Gore.  Bob Dole and Jack Kemp?  Uh no.

Please do not share this information with former Senator and Presidential candidate Bob Dole (R-KS).


Thursday, July 22, 2021

#553. Big Lie

I've already done a slew of parodies about the Orange Prolapse.  Many of them reference the big lie.  But not directly in the title.  So now, I've entered into this new "subset" phase.  I'll be forgoing the standard preamble and simply provide an updated list of tunes.  Along with an embarrassing photo or humiliating video clip.

Who's creepier?  An Orange Prolapse or white Mr. Bun Bun?

#390.  Big Lie (Free Ride --- Edgar Winter)

#487.  Donald's Big Lie (Mr. Blue Sky --- E.L.O.)

#495.  American Lie (American Pie --- Don McLean)

#520.  The Big Lie (When Doves Cry --- Prince)

#530.  Big Lie (High Time --- Grateful Dead)

#545.  Big Lie (Goodbye --- Night Ranger)

#548.  Trump World's, Big Lie (Big Girls, Don't Cry --- Frankie Valli & The Four Seasons)  

#549.  All A Big Lie (Live And Let Die --- Paul McCartney)

#550.  Would Trump Lie To You (Would I Lie To You --- Annie Lennox)

#552.  Big Liar (Big Spender --- Shirley Bassey)
 
#553.  Big Lie (Big Me --- Foo Fighters)

 



Big Lie
sonofsaf

Trump’s a pile of shit
Big ‘ol con
Treason of the few
Trump’s a pile of shit
Evil and demons bad hairdo

Big lie to stop the steal shit
Kushner is a Jew
If it’s Orange Prolapse shit
Jared’s still a Jew

Well, Trump threw a damn fit
Big ‘ol con
Kushner’s is a Jew
He will screw and fuck you too

Trump’s a pile of shit
Big ‘ol con
Treason of the few
Trump’s a pile of shit
Evil and demons will fuck you

Big lie to stop the steal shit
Kushner is a Jew
If it’s Orange Prolapse shit
Jared’s still a Jew

Well, Trump threw a damn fit
A big con
Always did he lose
He will screw and fuck you too

Well, Trump threw a damn fit
A big con
Always did he lose
He will screw and fuck you too
And fuck you too
And fuck you too


Big Me
Foo Fighters

When I talk about it
Carries on
Reasons only knew
When I talk about it
Aries or treasons all renew

Big me to talk about it
I could stand to prove
If we can get around it
I know that it's true

Well, I talked about it
Carried on
Reasons only knew
But it's you I fell into

When I talked about it
Carries on
Reasons only knew
When I talk about it
Aries or treasons all renew

Big me to talk about it
I could stand to prove
If we can get around it
I know that it's true

Well, I talked about it
Put it on
Never was it true
But it's you I fell into

Well, I talked about it
Put it on
Never was it true
But it's you I fell into
I fell into
I fell into


 
Never cared much for the Mentos breath mint theme in the "Big Me" music video. 

Foo Fighters:

7-9-03, Chevrolet Amphitheater, Pittsburgh, PA *
7-26-08, Peterson Events Center, Pittsburgh, PA
9-23-11, Consol Energy Center, Pittsburgh, PA
8-25-15, First Niagara Pavilion, Burgettstown, PA
7-19-18, PPG Paints Arena, Pittsburgh, PA 

* One of my top 10 favorite concerts.

Please do not share this material with former President Donald J. Trump.


#552. Big Liar

I've already done a slew of parodies about the Orange Prolapse.  Many of them reference the big lie.  But not directly in the title.  So now, I've entered into this "subset" phase.  I'll be forgoing the standard preamble and simply provide an updated list of tunes.  Along with an embarrassing photo or humiliating video clip.

Fat fuck, big truck, you suck

 

#390.  Big Lie (Free Ride --- Edgar Winter)

#487.  Donald's Big Lie (Mr. Blue Sky --- E.L.O.)

#495.  American Lie (American Pie --- Don McLean)

#520.  The Big Lie (When Doves Cry --- Prince)

#530.  Big Lie (High Time --- Grateful Dead)

#545.  Big Lie (Goodbye --- Night Ranger)

#548.  Trump World's, Big Lie (Big Girls, Don't Cry --- Frankie Valli & The Four Seasons)  

#549.  All A Big Lie (Live And Let Die --- Paul McCartney)

#550.  Would Trump Lie To You (Would I Lie To You --- Annie Lennox)

#552.  Big Liar (Big Spender --- Shirley Bassey)

 


Big Liar
sonofsaf

You bullshit Jew that is the point
Jared Kushner deserves some condescension
A fake big liar
Trust fundin’ so inclined
So, wouldn't you like to blow the shit that’s between his thighs
The Orange Prolapse we did appoint
He’s Bjork from Ork the crispy duck for me*
Hey big liar,
Lie you little bitch for me

Why the fuck are you a cunt, cunt, cunt
What’s up with all the gaffes gaffes
I could show you the big lie
Let me blow you a big lie

You bullshit Jew that is the point
Jared Kushner deserves some condescension
A fake big liar
Trust fundin’ so inclined
So, wouldn't you like to blow the shit that’s between his thighs
The Orange Prolapse we did appoint
He loves the Bjork and crispy duck you see
Hey big liar
Hey big liar
Hey big liar
Lie, you stupid bitch for me
Yes


Big Spender
Shirley Bassey

The minute you walked in the joint
I could see you were a man of distinction
A real big spender
Good lookin' so refined
Say, wouldn't you like to know what's goin' on in my mind?
So let me get right to the point
I don't pop my cork for every man I see
Hey big spender,
Spend a little time with me

Wouldn't you like to have fun, fun, fun
How's about a few laughs, laughs
I could show you a good time
Let me show you a good time!

The minute you walked in the joint
I could see you were a man of distinction
A real big spender
Good lookin' so refined
Say, wouldn't you like to know what's goin' on in my mind?
So let me get right to the point,
I don't pop my cork for every guy I see
Hey big spender
Hey big spender
Hey big spender
Spend, a little time with me
Yes


 

* ---

Bjork with the infamous "duck dress."  At one point, I thought the duck would come alive and celebrate her Grammy.

Shirley Bassey actually came to Pittsburgh once in 1976 and performed at the Syria Mosque.  It's a venue I never had the opportunity to check out.  At the time, I was 6 years old.  So it was probably for the better.

Please do not share this material with former President Donald J. Trump.


Wednesday, July 21, 2021

#551. Trump Hates Tom Brady

Tom Brady was at the White House yesterday and took the opportunity to casually mock Donald Trump.  While I'm certainly no fan of Brady, I find him immeasurably less repugnant than the Orange Prolapse.

 

By the way, feel free to use my non-trademarked "nom de plume" on live television.  Orange Prolapse.  It's definitely offensive and evokes disgusting imagery.  However, it's certainly not profanity.   Suffice it to say, I think it could stick.  If this glorious nickname were to ever gain "significant traction," I'd be willing to make a $1,000 donation to a mutually agreed upon charity in your honor.



Trump Hates Tom Brady
sonofsaf

Trump hates Brady, yes, he hates Tom Brady
Trump discovered Tom Brady's so damn irritating
The Orange Prolapse thinks Brady must shut up
Must shut up, must shut up
'Cause Trump hates Brady, yes, he hates Tom Brady
Trump discovered Tom Brady's so damn irritating
The Orange Prolapse thinks Brady must shut up
Must shut up, must shut up


The Real Slim Shady
Eminem

I'm Slim Shady, yes, I'm the real Shady
All you other Slim Shadys are just imitating
So won't the real Slim Shady please stand up
Please stand up, please stand up?
'Cause I'm Slim Shady, yes, I'm the real Shady
All you other Slim Shadys are just imitating
So won't the real Slim Shady please stand up
Please stand up, please stand up?


No pressing desire to do the entire song.  It would take forever.  Perhaps someday.

Eminem played Pittsburgh 3 times.  Twice in 1999 (Metropol & I.C. Light Amphitheater) and once in 2000 at the arena.  Missed all three concerts.  But I did like his cameo appearance on Entourage.

Please do not share this material with Tampa Bay Quarterback Tom Brady and/or former President Donald Trump.


#550. Would Trump Lie To You

I've already done a slew of parodies about the Orange Prolapse.  Many of them reference the big lie.  But not directly in the title.  So now, I've entered into this "subset" phase.  I'll be forgoing the standard preamble and simply provide an updated list of tunes.  Along with an embarrassing photo or humiliating video clip.


Greatest debater... ever.  Face!


#390.  Big Lie (Free Ride --- Edgar Winter)

#487.  Donald's Big Lie (Mr. Blue Sky --- E.L.O.)

#495.  American Lie (American Pie --- Don McLean)

#520.  The Big Lie (When Doves Cry --- Prince)

#530.  Big Lie (High Time --- Grateful Dead)

#545.  Big Lie (Goodbye --- Night Ranger)

#548.  Trump World's, Big Lie (Big Girls, Don't Cry --- Frankie Valli & The Four Seasons)  

#549.  All A Big Lie (Live And Let Die --- Paul McCartney)

#550.  Would Trump Lie To You (Would I Lie To You --- Annie Lennox)

 

 

Would Trump Lie To You
sonofsaf

Would Trump lie to you?

Would Trump lie to you?
Would he lie for your money?
Now would Trump say something that wasn't true?
He’s fucking you sucker
Would he lie to you?

Depends, he wears for sure.
And he’s rotten to the core.
His wife’s a hag
Butt more hardcore.
Stick his cock in.
Acts like it’s a chore.

Deceive me, I'll fake it fake it
Deceive me, I'll fake it fake it

Would Trump lie to you?
Would he lie for your money?
Now would Trump say something that wasn't true?
He’s fucking you sucker
Would he lie to you?

Cannot wait, a cunt invasion.
Got no chance, of erection.
More than I can take.
Kushner’s a Jew.
God you will forsake.
He’s a fucking Jew

Deceive me, I'll fake it fake it
Deceive me, I'll fake it fake it

Would Trump lie to you?
Would he lie for your money?
Now would Trump say something that wasn't true?
He’s fucking you sucker
The big lie’s on you

Would Trump lie to you?
The big lie’s for your money
Now would Trump say something that wasn't true?
He’s fucking you sucker
The big lie’s on you

Depends, he wears for sure.
And he’s rotten to the core.
His wife’s a hag
Butt more hardcore.
Stick his cock in.
Acts like it’s a chore.

Deceive me, I'll fake it fake it
Deceive me, I'll fake it fake it

The big lie was you

 

Would I Lie To You
Eurythmics

Would I lie to you?

Would I lie to you?
Would I lie to you honey?
Now would I say something that wasn't true?
I'm asking you sugar
Would I lie to you?

My friends, know what's in store.
I won't be here anymore.
I've packed my bags
I've cleaned the floor.
Watch me walkin'.
Walkin' out the door.

Believe me, I'll make it make it
Believe me, I'll make it make it

Would I lie to you?
Would I lie to you honey?
Now would I say something that wasn't true?
I'm asking you sugar
Would I lie to you?

Tell you straight, no intervention.
To your face, no deception.
You're the biggest fake.
That much is true.
Had all I can take.
Now I'm leaving you

Believe me, I'll make it make it
Believe me, I'll make it make it

Would I lie to you?
Would I lie to you honey?
Now would I say something that wasn't true?
I'm asking you sugar
Would I lie to you?

Would I lie to you?
Would I lie to you honey?
Now would I say something that wasn't true?
I'm asking you sugar
Would I lie to you?

My friends, know what's in store.
I won't be here anymore.
I've packed my bags
I've cleaned the floor.
Watch me walkin'.
Walkin' out the door.

Believe me, I'll make it make it
Believe me, I'll make it make it

Would I lie to you?



Annie Lenox:

7-10-04, Post-Gazette Pavilion, Burgettstown, PA (opened for Sting)

 Please do not share this material with former President Donald J. Trump.

#549. All A Big Lie

I've already done a slew of parodies about the Orange Prolapse.  Many of them reference the big lie.  But not directly in the title.  So now, I've entered into this "subset" phase.  I'll be forgoing the standard preamble and simply provide an updated list of tunes.  Along with an embarrassing photo or humiliating video clip.


 

#390.  Big Lie (Free Ride --- Edgar Winter)

#487.  Donald's Big Lie (Mr. Blue Sky --- E.L.O.)

#495.  American Lie (American Pie --- Don McLean)

#520.  The Big Lie (When Doves Cry --- Prince)

#530.  Big Lie (High Time --- Grateful Dead)

#545.  Big Lie (Goodbye --- Night Ranger)

#548.  Trump World's, Big Lie (Big Girls, Don't Cry --- Frankie Valli & The Four Seasons)  

#549.  All A Big Lie (Live And Let Die --- Paul McCartney)



 

All A Big Lie
sonofsaf

He’s orange and dumb a la carte
Ass of a fanook*
The games he plays you can’t forgive
(He’s full of shit)
(He’s full of shit)
(He’s full of shit)

But there’s this Stormy Daniels girl
Blow jobs she’s givin'
Fake news give it a try
It’s all a big lie
All a big lie

You know he wants to screw ya
And he’s gonna fuck you too a job of show and tell
You know he’s gonna fuckin’ burn in hell

The games he plays you can’t forgive
(He’s full of shit)
(He’s full of shit)
(He’s full of shit)

But there’s this Stormy Daniels girl
Blow jobs she’s givin'
Fake news give it a try
It’s all a big lie
All a big lie

 

Live and Let Die
Paul McCartney

When you were young and your heart
Was an open book
You used to say live and let live
(You know you did)
(You know you did)
(You know you did)

But if this ever changin' world
In which we're livin'
Makes you give in and cry
Say live and let die
Live and let die

What did it matter to ya
When you got a job to do you got to do it well
You got to give the other fella hell

You used to say live and let live
(You know you did)
(You know you did)
(You know you did)

But if this ever changin' world
In which we're livin'
Makes you give in and cry
Say live and let die
Live and let die




Paul McCartney:

2-12-90, Riverfront Coliseum, Cincinnati, OH

4–29-02, Gund Arena, Cleveland, OH

8-18-10, Consol Energy Center, Pittsburgh, PA

7-7-14, Consol Energy Center, Pittsburgh, PA


* --- Sopranos fag reference.  I like Phil Leotardo's "fuh-noik" pronunciation.

Please do not share this material with those who perpetuate the "Big Lie" and/or former President Donald Trump.


#548. Trump World's, Big Lie

I've already done a slew of parodies about the Orange Prolapse.  Many of them reference the big lie.  But not directly in the title.  So now, I've entered into this "subset" phase.  I'll be forgoing the standard preamble and simply provide an updated list of tunes.  Along with an embarrassing photo or humiliating video clip.


#390.  Big Lie (Free Ride --- Edgar Winter)

#487.  Donald's Big Lie (Mr. Blue Sky --- E.L.O.)

#495.  American Lie (American Pie --- Don McLean)

#520.  The Big Lie (When Doves Cry --- Prince)

#530.  Big Lie (High Time --- Grateful Dead)

#545.  Big Lie (Goodbye --- Night Ranger)

#548.  Trump's World, Big Lie (Big Girls, Don't Cry --- Frankie Valli & The Four Seasons)  

 


Trump World’s, Big Lie
sonofsaf

Trump world’s big lie
Trump world’s big lie

Trump world’s big lie (the big lie)
Trump world’s big lie (it’s called the big lie)
This world hope he dies (fuckin’ dies)
His world makes me cry (hope he dies)

Told his world that he was fucked up
(Dildo toy) thought he was gay enough
(Dildo toy) then his cock began to rise
“Trump world’s big lie”

Trump world’s big lie (the big lie)
Trump world’s big lie (it’s called the big lie)

Maybe he’s a tool (the golden rule)
"Kushner Jew" Ivanka said
(Dildo world) “Kushner Jew, he's tryin' instead“
(Dildo world) “Kushner Jew, we hope he dies“
Trump world does lie

Trump world's big lie (the big lie)
Trump world's big lie (you gotta verify)

Trump world's big lie
Trump world's big lie
Trump world's big lie
Trump world's big lie
Trump world's big lie


Big Girls, Don’t Cry
The Four Seasons

Big girls don't cry
Big girls don't cry

Big girls don't cry (they don't cry)
Big girls don't cry (who said they don't cry?)
My girl said goodbye (my, oh, my)
My girl didn't cry (I wonder why)

told my girl we had to break up
(Silly boy) hoped that she would call my bluff
(Silly boy) then she said to my surprise
"Big girls don't cry"

Big girls don't cry (they don't cry)
Big girls don't cry (who said they don't cry?)

Baby I'm a fool (I'm such a fool)

"Shame on you" your mama said
(Silly girl) "Shame on you, you're cryin' in bed"
(Silly girl) "Shame on you, you told me lies"
Big girls do cry

Big girls don't cry (they don't cry)
Big girls don't cry (that's just an alibi)

Big girls don't cry
Big girls don't cry
Big girls don't cry
Big girls don't cry
Big girls don't cry



Since 1975, Frankie Valli & The Four Seasons have played Pittsburgh on 12 occasions.  Never saw 'em.  However, I did see a decent Frankie Valli cover band in Bloomfield at the yearly Gun Shop/Dollar Store/Perogi Festival.  This was probably about 4 years ago.  We went.  Had a lot of difficulty parking the car.  It was good.  It... being some authentic homemade meatballs.

I kinda felt bad for the band.  They may have looked sharp, all suited-up.  But we walked backstage (a bank parking lot alley) and stumbled upon their tour bus.  It was this old rusty beat up Ford van with NY plates.  We peeked inside.  Shit everywhere.  Looked like a vehicular crack house.

Please do not share this material with former President Donald J. Trump.


Tuesday, July 20, 2021

#547. Blake's A Fucking Dimwit

Arizona's Republican primary for the U.S. Senate seat in 2022 is pretty competitive.

State Attorney General Mark Brnovich (presumed front runner but told Trump to get lost.)

Solar energy magnate Jim Lemon (Fake news alert!  The sun is cold.  Not hot!)

Retired Major General Mark McGuire (Spoiler candidate.  Competent, but no discernible cash on hand.)

Software engineer Robert Paveza (Trash-80, eh?  Line 10: PRINT "Fuck you"  Line 20:  GOTO Line 10)

and 35 year old kiddo Blake Masters who's the cactus equivalent of a thorny hedge fund bitch.

Left: former appointed Senator Marsha McShitty.  Right: Blake Masters

Blake has made it quite clear that he's running on a Trumpian "finish the wall/immigrants suck" platform.  That, and diving headfirst into the anti-big tech, cancel culture wars.  And attempting to kiss the ring of the Orange Prolapse are his top priorities.  The question is... can he out-Trump the other contenders?  And if he's ultimately successful... how would all of the extremist right wing positioning translate in a general election?

And the race might get even more crowded.  With all these Republicans a runnin' and the usual low-turnout for a primary, every vote's a big deal.  The final tallies could be especially close.

Regardless of the outcome, I would encourage AZ Dems from the State Senate to come forward and demand recounts across the board.  Suggest that the last place finisher, likely Paveza, was robbed.  You know, 'cause it was all rigged.  The election was "hacked" and the results got inverted.  You see, the results are totally upside down!  Last place is first.  First place is last.  Maybe demand an outside forensic audit conducted by Jack Dorsey & Mark Zuckerburg.

Just a disruptive, time wasting, litigious, disinformation strategy for totally fucking the eventual Republican nominee.  After all, why wouldn't you?  Why not?  What have you got to lose?  

Where have I heard this before? 

 


Blake’s a Fucking Dimwit
sonofsaf

Oh my bone has a bend it’s Peyronie’s
But the right fight is gonna screw you
I was drinking like a drunkard
Maker’s Mark Whiskey
Will fuck you too
You know Trump’s always been a prolapse (he’s an orange buffoon clown)
And the planet will change
Choices of an orange clown
But the memes are not stately
‘Cause there is no doubt there is no doubt despite what you would claim
So fuck me do it my way
Pour me some wine
Blake’s a fucking dimwit
All the time
His cock bends all the time isn’t funny
His cock bends there’s less blood not a crime
Fuck E.T. Reese's Pieces and the sorrow
Does he smoke the kind
And then you're drinking all the pee then and (it was a truth or dare)
And you’re cunt wife’s a whore
(When she plays truth or dare)
The election not conceding
Still an anal hack
Asshole attack
An anal hack you whore…
Fuck me do it my way
Pour me some wine
Blake’s a fucking dimwit
All the time
Blake’s a fucking dimwit
Blake’s a fucking dimwit
Blake’s a fucking dimwit
All the time
(Blake’s a fucking dimwit)
W-e-e...
(Blake’s a fucking dimwit)
Come on
(Blake’s a fucking dimwit)
All the time
(Blake’s a fucking dimwit)
W-e-e...
(Blake’s a fucking dimwit)
We gotta
(Blake’s a fucking dimwit)
All the time...
(Blake’s a fucking dimwit)
(Blake’s a fucking dimwit)
(Blake’s a fucking dimwit)
All the time
(Blake’s a fucking dimwit)
W-e-e...
(Blake’s a fucking dimwit)
Come on
(Blake’s a fucking dimwit)
All the time
(Blake’s a fucking dimwit)
Aaah-aaah-aaah
(Blake’s a fucking dimwit)
Aaah-aaah
(Blake’s a fucking dimwit)
All the time...
(Blake’s a fucking dimwit)
(Blake’s a fucking dimwit)

 

Take It To The Limit
The Eagles

All alone at the end of the evening
And the bright lights have faded to blue
I was thinking 'bout a woman
Who might have loved me
I never knew
You know I've always been a dreamer (spent my life running round)
And it's so hard to change
Can't seem to settle down
But the dreams I've seen lately
Keep on turning out and burning out and turning out the same
So put me on a highway
Show me a sign
Take it to the limit
One more time
You can spend all your time making money
You can spend all your love making time
If it all fell to pieces tomorrow
Would you still be mine?
And when you're looking for your freedom (nobody seems to care)
And you can't find the door
(Can't find it anywhere)
When there's nothing to believe in
Still you're coming back
You're running back
You're coming back for more...
Put me on a highway
Show me a sign
Take it to the limit
One more time
Take it to the limit
Take it to the limit
Take it to the limit
One more time
(Take it to the limit)
W-e-e...
(Take it to the limit)
Come on
(Take it to the limit)
One more time
(Take it to the limit)
W-e-e...
(Take it to the limit)
We gotta
(Take it to the limit)
One more time...
(Take it to the limit)
(Take it to the limit)
(Take it to the limit)
One more time
(Take it to the limit)
W-e-e...
(Take it to the limit)
Come on
(Take it to the limit)
One more time
(Take it to the limit)
Aaah-aaah-aaah
(Take it to the limit)
Aaah-aaah
(Take it to the limit)
One more time...
(Take it to the limit)
(Take it to the limit) 



 

The Eagles:

8-15-94, Star Lake Amphitheater, Burgettstown, PA

Please do not share this material with Blake Masters and/or any of the other Arizona Republicans running for U.S. Senate (2022).


#546. Blake's A Liar

Tucson native Blake Masters is the political prodigy of multi-billionaire tech entrepreneur Peter Thiel.  Last week, he announced his campaign for Arizona Senate.

Masters is fundamentally running on a "finish the wall" anti-immigration platform.  Hoping to appeal to the far right, Trump-inspired bigots and assholes.  Maybe Masters can resurrect the forced infant separation policy that worked so well during the previous administration. 


 

Blake’s A Liar
sonofsaf

Why do assholes gape when you try?
Masters has a dildo that’ll make him cry
Masters first name Blake’s a liar and high
Senate must defend Donald Trump’s big lie

Trump is a baby and that is the truth
An Orange Prolapse who’s not very couth
Some just like to rave that he’s a clown buffoon
Callin’ Antifa bunch of nasty coons

Why do assholes gape when you try?
Masters has a dildo that’ll make him cry
Masters first name Blake’s a liar and high
Senate must defend Donald Trump’s big lie

People die and tweet alone
But the human race could use a comb
And the human race needs more i-Phones
While the Peters and the Donalds try to throw them a bone

Why do assholes gape when you try?
Masters has a dildo that’ll make him cry
Masters first name Blake’s a liar and high
Senate must defend Donald Trump’s big lie


Lake Of Fire
Nirvana

Where do bad folks go when they die?
They don't go to Heaven where the angels fly
They go to the lake of fire and fry
See 'em again 'til the fourth of July

]I knew a lady who came from Duluth
Bit by a dog with a rabid tooth
She went to her grave just a little too soon
Flew away howling on the yellow moon

Where do bad folks go when they die?
They don't go to Heaven where the angels fly
They go down to the lake of fire and fry
See 'em again 'til the fourth of July

People cry and people moan
Look for a dry place to call their home
Try to find some place to rest their bones
While the angels and the devils try to make them their own

Where do bad folks go when they die?
They don't go to Heaven where the angels fly
They go down to the lake of fire and fry
See 'em again 'til the fourth of July



Nirvana came to Pittsburgh twice.  

 

Back in the summer of 1989, Nirvana played the Sonic Temple in Wilkinsburg.  Been to that venue only once.  Saw Sacred Reich there.  In 1991, Nirvana played the Graffiti in Oakland.  Didn't catch either show. 

Nirvana's 1993 performance was easily the best of all those MTV acoustic shows.

Please do not share this material with Blake Masters and/or his sugar daddy Peter Thiel.

 

#545. Big Lie

My 5th parody regarding Donald Trump and the "Big Lie."  

Possibly the most disturbing silhouette in the history of mankind

I'll likely try and configure about 5 others.  After all, the insurrection, along with the entire notion of Donald Trump becoming the 45th President of the United States, is easily the most fucked up thing that's happened since 9/11.  

 The Big Lie --- When Doves Cry (Prince)

Big Lie --- Free Ride (Edgar Winter)

Donald's Big Lie --- Mr. Blue Sky (E.L.O.)

Big Lie --- High Time (Grateful Dead)



Big Lie
sonofsaf

Is it fun if Trump’s dead
We’ll discover our best
And say the things
That aren’t so wrong
Stick Trump on a ledge
With a dose, and a car
Hope he drives off a cliff that's dead end

But retards love the strife
Led by the Orange Prolapse clown
Always lost, never found
He’s a clown a clown a clown

Give him money
And he’ll cream a wet dream
Trump’s always understood the big lie

He should do some time
For committing the crime
Out of reach, nobody asking why
And he is not a man
Piece of shit I can’t stand
As the Orange Prolapse beams with delight

He eats lard
Drinking so much Diet Coke how
With a Big Mac that costs
He’s a biggie size clown

So give him money
And he’ll cream a wet dream
Trump’s always understood the big lie

But retards love the strife
Led by the Orange Prolapse clown
Always lost, never found
He’s a clown a clown a clown

So give him money
And he’ll cream a wet dream
Trump’s always understood the big lie

So give him money
And he’ll cream a wet dream
Trump’s always understood the big lie

Big lie

 

Goodbye
Night Ranger

As the sun hides his head
For another night's rest
And the wind sings
His same old song
And you on the edge
Never close, never far
Always there when I needed a friend

But it's hard living life
On this memory-go-round
Always up, always down
Spinning 'round and 'round and 'round

All this could be
Just a dream so it seems
I was never much good at goodbye

There once was a time
Never far from my mind
On the beach, on the 4th of July
I remember the sand
How you held out your hand
And we touched for what seemed a lifetime

But it's hard
Leaving all this behind me now
Like a schoolboy so lost
Never found until now

And all this could be
Just a dream so it seems
I was never much good at goodbye

Yet it's hard
Living life on this memory-go-round
Always up, always down
Turning 'round and 'round and 'round

And all this could be
Just a dream so it seems
I was never much good at goodbye

And all this could be
Just a dream so it seems
I was never much good at goodbye

Goodbye



Night Ranger:

2-16-86, Wheeling Civic Center, Wheeling, WV *

8-27-11, First Niagara Pavilion, Burgettstown, PA (opened for Foreigner & Journey)

*  Sixteen years old.  Seven Wishes tour.  Atmosphere was electric.  Then again, I was a teenager.  First time I ever held a woman (H.C.) on my shoulders at a rock concert.  Miss the days of general admission at the arenas.  But hey, assigned seating does reduce the risk of human stampedes. 

Please do not share this material with former President Donald J. Trump.


Monday, July 19, 2021

#544. Fake News Ted

Five years ago, in 2016, with the Republican presidential primary raging full throttle, a woman showed up on Maury Povich on a quest to find her son's "baby daddy."


Instead, she found her long-lost twin brother: Ted Cruz.



 

Fake News Ted
sonofsaf

Pelosi in the House
Mitch has the other wing
There are those who don’t think
They fuckin’ make lots of noise

Ted Cruz fled to Cancun
Trump’s face is so red
Just gimme a break he is fake news… Ted

Ooh, on Maury, Povich no doubt
She’s not his brother
Not his brother
Diarrhea

Fake News Ted (you lie)
Fake News Ted (and you’re scared)
Fake News Ted (you lie)
Fake News Ted


Wake Up Dead
Megadeth

I sneak in my own house
It's four in the morning
I had too much to drink
Said I was out with the boys

I creep in my bedroom
I slip into bed
I know if I wake her I'll wake up... dead

Ooh, I wonder, will she find out
About the other
Other lover
Diana?

Wake up dead (you die)
Wake up dead (and buried)
Wake up dead (you die)
Wake up dead




Megadeth:

2-14-88, South Hills Theater, Pittsburgh, PA

4-28-88, Palace Theater, Greensburg, PA

Ted Cruz makes me physically ill to the point of throwing up.  His opponents should use the derogatory term "Booze Cruz" in a similar vain.  As if to say that all of his most ardent supporters are delusional drunkards.

Please do not share this material with Senator Ted Cruz (R-TX) and/or his long lost sister.


#543. God Bless Comerica

Comerica should consider a rebrand.  If it were up to me, I'd name the bank after Portugese granny porn star Erica Lauren.  You could call it "Cum on Erica."


Who wouldn't invest in her?  She'd send you a birthday check for 12 dollars... and buy you Dairy Queen.  Knit one purl two?  More "suck cock, fuck you too."

Here's Pittsburgh's own hero Jackie Evancho singing a God Bless America extendo version!  Hopefully, I can convince her to bestow grace and favor upon Comerica.



God Bless Comerica
sonofsaf

God bless Comerica, billions in funds
They will conquer and they’ll insure
They will fight with delight for your love

Stealing millions with the bank fees
And foreclosing on your home
God bless Comerica, I need a loan

God bless Comerica, billions in funds
They will conquer and they’ll insure
They will fight with delight for your love

Stealing millions with the bank fees
And foreclosing on your home
God bless Comerica, I need a loan

Stealing millions with the bank fees
And foreclosing on your home
God bless Comerica, I got a loan
God bless Comerica, I got a loan

 

God Bless America
Irving Berlin

God bless America, land that I love
Stand beside her and guide her
Through the night with the light from above

From the mountains to the prairies
To the oceans white with foam
God bless America, my home sweet home

God bless America, land that I love
Stand beside her and guide her
Through the night with the light from above

From the mountains to the prairies
To the oceans white with foam
God bless America, my home sweet home

From the mountains to the prairies
To the oceans white with foam
God bless America, my home sweet home
God bless America, my home sweet home



 


Being an atheist Jew'n'at, I don't really care much for the "God Bless America" sing-a-longs at PNC Park.  To be honest, it makes me want to vomit.

Please do not share this material with Jackie Evancho or anyone who has a Comerica bank account.


#542. Comerica the Beautiful

In the whole scheme of the big banks, with only 75 billion in assets, Comerica is a total jobber lightweight.  J.P. Morgan Chase hovers around 3.2 trillion.  That's a pretty big discrepancy.

 

Who came up with that "COMERICA" logo?  It's simply a bastardized, watered down version of  Metallica.



The name "Comerica" itself is kind of amusing.  Obviously a play on the word "America."  Hey, nothing more patriotic than a noble lending institution.

 

Mark: 2:00

Comerica The Beautiful
sonofsaf

How comical that we despise,
The buildings we call banks,
The life insurance tragedies
In trust of man’s disdain!
Comerica!  Comerica!
They crave all your money
And if they could I know they would
Fuck every rich country!

 

America The Beautiful
Katharine Lee Bates

O beautiful for spacious skies,
For amber waves of grain,
For purple mountain majesties
Above the fruited plain!
America! America!
God shed His grace on thee
And crown thy good with brotherhood
From sea to shining sea!

Comerica!  Comerica!  Where art thou Comerica?  

Good question.  Mostly in California, Arizona, Texas, Michigan and Florida.

We did a lap around Comerica Park and Ford Field while in Detroit for a Jeff Lynne (E.L.O) concert at Little Caesar's arena back in 2018.  The ballpark has some pretty impressive statues out front.

Please do not share this material with individuals employed by Comerica.


Sunday, July 18, 2021

#541. America The Beautiful

 

Much to the dismay of the Mormon-a-thon, Trump displays his "blow job lips."

Hey Mitten Shittin'... a decade later, here's the updated version.

 


 

America The Beautiful
sonofsaf


O bucket full of cum and lies,
His fat ass and weight gain,
For Covid virus casualties
And Orange Prolapse disdain!
America!  America!
Trump says don’t take a knee
And wear your hood it will do good
Cum with pornography



America The Beautiful
Katharine Lee Bates

O beautiful for spacious skies,
For amber waves of grain,
For purple mountain majesties
Above the fruited plain!
America! America!
God shed His grace on thee
And crown thy good with brotherhood
From sea to shining sea!

 

 
 
Regarding the second line, feel free to substitute... "in public the domain" or "in pubic the domain"... for "amber waves of grain."

Please do not share this material with former President Donald J. Trump and/or Senator Mitt Romney (R-UT).

 

#540. Trump Loves America

Statement of fact: Donald Trump is an Orange Prolapse.

 

Does any rational human being actually require an explanation here?  Key word being "rational."

 


Trump Loves America
sonofsaf

Trump Loves America, flood of his blood
With Ivanka and Kushner
Donald Junior that dumbshit’s a cunt

From Manhattan to Bedminster
Mar-A-Lago is his home
Trump Loves America, go fuck yourself

Trump Loves America, flood of his blood
With Ivanka and Kushner
Donald Junior that dumbshit’s a cunt

From Manhattan to Bedminster
Mar-A-Lago is his home
Trump Loves America, go fuck yourself

From Manhattan to Bedminster
Mar-A-Lago is his home
Trump Loves America, go fuck yourself
Trump Loves America, go fuck yourself


God Bless America
Irving Berlin

God bless America, land that I love
Stand beside her and guide her
Through the night with the light from above

From the mountains to the prairies
To the oceans white with foam
God bless America, my home sweet home

God bless America, land that I love
Stand beside her and guide her
Through the night with the light from above

From the mountains to the prairies
To the oceans white with foam
God bless America, my home sweet home

From the mountains to the prairies
To the oceans white with foam
God bless America, my home sweet home
God bless America, my home sweet home



My original idea for this parody was actually grounded in Mitt Romney's glorious rendition of America the Beautiful.  So you wanted the best, you got it.  Now brace yourself.  Here cums the "cunt-tree club Republican" inspiration.  It literally spews at you.  Timeless.

Please do not share this material with former President Donald J. Trump and/or Senator Mitt Romney (R-UT)