Friday, July 02, 2021

#502. Vote For J.D. Vance

My original intention was for song #502 to be the Megadeth song entitled "502."  But that song's virtually impossible to parody.  It's kind of a metal stream of DUI consciousness.  Just didn't lend itself.  Not all songs do.  Including this one.  But I think it came out well.

Anyhoo, I'm doing another parody about Ohio Republican Senate candidate J.D. Vance.  And I've got another one in the hopper.  This one, in addition to my two others from last month:  Vance Vance Vance (Ratt) and Team Vance (David Bowie).  

(left to right: Abnormal Asshole and Vance)


You'd think it was my intention to physically "advance on Vance."  That I'm some sort of homo-hillbilly stalker from neighboring Pennsylvania, who used to live in West Virginia, that frequents Ohio.

Uh, perhaps I better stop talking.

Vote For J.D. Vance

Ohio’s heaven, people so very kind
There’s a story to tell, and some of it will be mine
What was Donald Trump thinking, oh, not to mention Hannity
Scumbags who have sinned, like an orange prolapsin’ clown
A syndrome of the down they will always blow

Ohio’s heaven the arc of history bends
Cause Trump and his fake bling, is getting harder to defend
Reaching new lows gonna make fundraising calls
Watch the mighty take a fall, it's time for the ground and pound
Like syndrome of the down

Hold Donald Trump for his treason, hold Ivanka and her Jew
The endless shit and malfeasance but he’ll still screw
Proud of my service in Iraq, and even in Afghanistan too
But when the Donald whines ‘cause his bone spurs aren’t fine
I got a feeling that it’s time to choose, it’s time to choose

He’ll always blow, yeah he’ll always blow, blow
Ohio’s heaven but the arc of history bends
Now if you are willin' join me for some killin’
And make the U.S. great again

He’s still talkin', shutting up there is no chance
Cast a vote for JD Vance, a Republican romance
A syndrome of the down, well, he’ll always blow, job to blow
Listen, he's gonna be a Senate whore, and he's gonna fuck you more and more

St. of Circumstance
Grateful Dead

This must be heaven, tonight I cross the line
You must be the angel, I though I might never find
Was it you I heard singing, oh, while I was chasin' dreams
Driven by the wind, like the dust that blows around
And the rain fallin' down but I never know

Got to be heaven 'cause here's where the rainbow ends
If this ain't the real thing, then it's close enough to pretend
When that wind blows when the night's about to fall
You can hear the silence call, it's a certain sort of sound
Like the rain fallin' down

Hole's in what's left of my reason, hole's in the knees of my blues
Odds against me been increasin' but I'll pull through
I never could read no road map, I don't know what the weather might do
But when that rich wind whines and I see the dark star shine
I got a feeling there's no time to lose, no time to lose

Never know now, just don't never know, no
Well it's been heaven but even the rainbows will end
Now my sails are fillin' and the wind is willin'
And I'm as good as gone again

I'm still walkin', so I'm sure that I can dance
Just a Saint of Circumstance, just a tiger in a trance
And the rain fallin' down, well, you never know, just don't know
Listen, sure don't know what I going for, but I'm gonna go for it for sure

Grateful Dead:

04-08-89, Riverfront Coliseum, Cincinnati, OH
10-22-89, Charlotte Coliseum, Charlotte, NC
07-08-90, Three Rivers Stadium, Pittsburgh, PA
09-07-90, Richfield Coliseum, Cleveland, OH
09-08-90, Richfield Coliseum, Cleveland, OH
03-18-91, Capital Centre, Landover, MD
03-20-91, Capital Centre, Landover, MD
03-21-91, Capital Centre, Landover, MD
06-09-91, Buckeye Lake Music Center, Hebron, OH
06-14-91, RFK Stadium, Washington, D.C.
06-21-91, Soldier Field, Chicago, IL
06-24-91, Sandstone Amphitheatre, Bonner Springs, KS
09-04-91, Richfield Coliseum, Cleveland, OH
09-05-91, Richfield Coliseum, Cleveland, OH
09-06-91, Richfield Coliseum, Cleveland, OH
06-06-92, Rich Stadium, Orchard Park, NY
06-08-92, Richfield Coliseum, Cleveland, OH
06-09-92, Richifeld Coliseum, Cleveland, OH
06-11-92, Knickerbocker Arena, Albany, NY
06-12-92, Knickerbocker Arena, Albany, NY
06-14-92, Giants Stadium, East Rutherford, NJ
06-15-92, Giants Stadium, East Rutherford, NJ *
06-17-92, Charlotte Coliseum, Charlotte, NC
06-18-92, Charlotte Coliseum, Charlotte, NC
06-20-92, RFK Stadium, Washington, D.C.
06-22-92, Star Lake Amphiteatre, Burgettstown, PA
06-23-92, Star Lake Amphiteatre, Burgettstown, PA
06-25-92, Soldier Field, Chicago, IL
06-26-92, Soldier Field, Chicago, IL
07-01-92, Buckeye Lake Music Center, Hebron, OH
03-14-93, Richfield Coliseum, Cleveland, OH
03-17-93, Capital Centre, Landover, MD
03-18-93, Capital Centre, Landover, MD
06-11-93, Buckeye Lake Music Center, Hebron, OH
06-18-93, Richfield Coliseum, Cleveland, OH
06-21-93, Deer Creek Music Center, Noblesville, IN
06-22-93, Deer Creek Music Center, Noblesville, IN
09-09-93, Richfield Coliseum, Cleveland, OH
09-10-93, Richfield Coliseum, Cleveland, OH
03-20-94, Richfield Coliseum, Cleveland, OH
03-21-94, Richfield Coliseum, Cleveland, OH
07-29-94, Buckeye Lake Music Center, Hebron, OH
03-17-95, The Spectrum, Philadelphia, PA
06-30-95, Three Rivers Stadium, Pittsburgh, PA
07-02-95, Deer Creek Music Center, Noblesville, IN

Bob Weir:
Bob Weir, 7-19-91, I.C. Light Amphitheatre, Pittsburgh, PA
Bob Weir, 8-31-92, I.C. Light Amphitheatre, Pittsburgh, PA
Ratdog & Phil Lesh, 7-18-01, Polaris Amphitheater, Columbus, OH
Ratdog & Rusted Root, 8-12-01, Post Gazette Pavilion, Burgettstown, PA
The Other Ones, 11-29-02, Mellon Arena, Pittsburgh, PA
The Dead, Bob Dylan, 8-6-03, Germain Amphitheater, Columbus, OH
Dead & Company, 11-13-15, Nationwide Arena, Columbus, OH
Dead & Company, 8-13-16, First Niagara Pavilion, Burgettstown, PA
Dead & Company, 6-15-17, KeyBank Pavilion, Burgettstown, PA
Dead & Company, 6-28-17, Blossom Music Center, Cleveland, OH
Dead & Company, 6-20-18, Blossom Music Center, Cleveland, OH
Dead & Company, 7-5-19, Folsom Field, Boulder, CO
Dead & Company, 7-6-19, Folsom Field, Boulder, CO

* Great 2nd set.  Probably my favorite St. of Circumstance.

Box of Rain
Saint of Circumstance
So Many Roads
Terrapin Station
I Need a Miracle
Standing on the Moon
Throwin' Stones
Not Fade Away

E. Knockin' on Heaven's Door

Please do not share this material with author/veteran/Ohio Senate candidate J.D. Vance and/or former McDonald's-in-Chief, Ronald J. Dump.

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