Friday, September 30, 2022

#1474. Laxalt

In one of the lesser-hyped U.S. Senate campaigns, it's incumbent Senator Catherine Cortez Masto (D-NV) vs. Adam Laxalt (R).  This race could end up being unusually significant.  Female D vs. Male R.  As of now, the polling is essentially split.  It's a toss-up.


However, Laxalt is on record for saying Roe v. Wade is "a joke."  Apparently he didn't get the memo on the 19th Amendment... you know, the one that gave women the right to vote.

Speaking of suffrage, and suffering too for that matter, Laxalt has been extremely busy.

Heaping admiration upon the bulging Orange Prolapse.  

Contrarily, Masto has been racking up endorsements from mainstream, prominent Nevada Republicans. 

Prediction:  In a toss-up state with two admittedly viable candidates, Mastop will win by a comfortable, larger than anticipated margin.  Also, it doesn't hurt that her middle name's Cortez.  

Cortez the Killer... as in MAGA killer.

 


 

Asshole
sonofsaf

Plan of attack
Nevada’s MAGA blood
Adam’s a tampon for a cunt
It’s the big lie
Bad impressions make you cry
He has no regrets for the coup d’etat hell
Donald Trump’s a king
Donald Trump’s a king
Donald Trump’s a king
Let’s stop the steal Adam Laxalt
Has no shame, his son-in-law’s a Jew
Daughter sucks but at least she’s thin
He has no merit
Like a tree-less rain forest
Trump wants rule both near and far
Donald Trump’s a king
Donald Trump’s a king
Donald Trump’s a king
Let’s stop the steal Adam Laxalt

 

Asshole
Beck

Your brains went black
When she took back her love
And put it out into the sun
The birds did fly
When the heavens all went dry
And the cigarettes were smoking' by themselves
She'll do anything
She'll do anything
She'll do anything
To make you feel like an asshole
Call her name, she looks the same as you
Question marks stretched across her skin
She dangles carrots
Makes you feel embarrassed
To be the fool you know you are
She'll do anything
She'll do anything
She'll do anything
To make you feel like an asshole

 


Tom Petty:

8-26-95, Star Lake Amphitheater, Burgettstown, PA

7-10-01, Post-Gazette Pavilion, Burgettstown, PA

7-16-02, Post-Gazette Pavilion, Burgettstown, PA

6-20-13, Consol Energy Center, Pittsburgh, PA

 

Beck also does a decent version of this song.


The Big Lie 100: (#649)

#1417.  Crudite Mode (Holiday Road --- Lindsey Buckingham)

#1418.  Wants Crudite (So Far Away --- Dire Straits)

#1419.  The Crudite (Not Fade Away --- Grateful Dead)

#1420.  Crudite Din (Holiday Inn --- Elton John)
 
#1421.  Tiffany Smiley (Baba O'Riley --- Grateful Dead)

#1422.  Markwayne (Cocaine --- Eric Clapton)
 
#1423.  Coco Elaine (Hello Again --- The Cars)
 
#1424.  Ill Campaigns (Still Remains --- Stone Temple Pilots)
 
#1425.  Crudite (Yesterday --- Paul McCartney)
 
#1426.  Roe Roe Roe Your Vote (Row Row Row Your Vote --- Ella Fitzgerald)
 
#1427.  Tate Reeves (Governor Blows) --- (Believe (Nobody Knows) --- My Morning Jacket)
 
#1428.  Eatin' Crudite (Surfin' U.S.A. --- Beach Boys)
 
#1429.  Mrs. Smiley (Mr. Smiley --- Poison)
 
#1430.  Mitch McConnell (Old MacDonald --- Unknown)
 
#1431.  Master Is Special (Master Of Puppets --- Metallica) 

#1432.  Crudite (Holiday --- Bee Gees)
 
#1433.  Fucked Up Ass Blake Masters (Fabulous Disaster --- Exodus)
 
#1434.  Mrs. Smiley (Mr. Crowley --- Ozzy Osbourne)
 
#1435.  Talk To Mark Meadows (Walk In The Shadows --- Queensryche)
 
#1436. Chris Kice (The Price -- Twisted Sister)

#1437.  Crudite (Stay Away --- Nirvana)

#1438.  Crudite (New Year's Day --- U2)

#1439.  One More Crudite Bite (One More Saturday Night --- Grateful Dead)

#1440.  The Crudite's Bad (The Crudite) Don't Go Away Mad (Just Go Away) --- Motley Crue))

#1441.  Crudite (Say Say Say --- Paul McCartney & Michael Jackson)

#1442.  That Donald Trump Is... (All In The Name Of... Motley Crue)

#1443.  Comer Isn't Very Smart (Owner Of A Lonely Heart --- Yes)

#1444.  Mehmet Oz (Just Because --- Jane's Addiction)

#1445.  A Piece Of Shit From The Start (Total Eclipse Of The Heart --- Bonnie Tyler)

#1446.  J.D. (Lady --- Styx)

#1447.  J.D. Vance (My Romance --- Carly Simon)

#1448.  Donald Trump's Hair (Ya Mo B There --- Michael McDonald)

#1449.  Dixon, Tudor (Touch My Tooter --- Ween)

#1450.  J.D. (Lady --- Little River Band)

#1451.  J.D. Is Gay (Lay Lady Lay --- Bob Dylan)

#1452.  Tudor Dixon (Superstition --- Stevie Wonder)

#1453.  Richard Woods (Harry Hood --- Phish)

#1454.  Woods (Would --- Alice In Chains)

#1455.  Ted Budd (Blackbird --- The Beatles)

#1456.  Budd Is Far Right (Bloody Well Right --- Supertramp)

#1457.  Trump's Strange (La Grange --- ZZ Top)

#1458.  Ashley Kalus (Brokedown Palace --- Grateful Dead)

#1459.  Hung Cao (Right Now --- Van Halen)

#1460.  Hung Cao (Black Cow --- Steely Dan)

#1461.  Scott Jensen (Confusion --- Electric Light Orchestra)

#1462.  Meet Mehmet (Meet The Mets --- Ruth Roberts & Bill Katz)

#1463.  Bolduc (Holed Up --- The Raconteurs)

#1464.  Bolduc's Fucked up (Hold Your Head Up --- Argent)

#1465.  Vance Is A Cunt (Eminence Front --- The Who)

#1466.  Oh Mike Lindell (The First Noel --- Brian Wilson)

#1467.  A Fucking Assclown (The Final Countdown --- Europe)

#1468.  Kim Jong Un Will Fight (Afternoon Delight --- Starland Vocal Band)

#1469.  Majewski's Outta Line (Nobody's Fault But Mine --- Led Zeppelin)

#1470.  I Guess That's Why They Call Him A Jew (I Guess That's Why They Call It The Blues --- Elton John)

#1471.  Crudite Plate (Runaway Train --- Soul Asylum)

#1472.  Roger Stone (Danger Zone --- Kenny Loggins)

#1473.  Roger Stone (Danger Zone --- The Ramones)

#1474.  Laxalt (Asshole --- Tom Petty)


Please do not share this material with Adam Laxalt and/or former President Donald J. Trump.


#1473. Roger Stone

Roger Stone's quite the beggar.  He'll beg for donations to the Richard Nixon Presidential Library.


He'll beg for pardons from the Orange Prolapse.  

He'll even beg his "followers" to send money to Alex Jones.

Last month Jones got hit with a 50 million dollar verdict regarding his claims that the entire Sandy Hook Elementary School massacre was a "hoax."  For the love of god (who does not exist), who the fuck has the audacity to weaponize the bodily remains of slaughtered second graders?  Jones.  That's who.


Rarely do I wish death upon someone.  But Alex Jones is one of those assholes who actually reaches the requisite threshold.  If there really is a hell (hint: there isn't), I hope this piece of shit burns there accordingly within its flaming parameters.  Stone too.

 


 

Roger Stone
sonofsaf

Conspiracy theories all abound
Reality world of a clown
Mar-A-Lago say can you see
Shit for all most definitely

Donald Trump is a deadbeat dad
The suffragettes really made him mad
He’ll steal the lard McDonald’s fried
A fucking retard can’t be denied

They say Trump is a real dimwit
A piece of shit a piece of shit
Big Mac’s fine Trump’s diaper rash
Golden age of pure white trash

A piece of shit a piece of shit
A piece of shit a piece of shit
Melania I must admit
A piece of shit a piece of shit

The Proud Boys all love Roger Stone
Roger Stone Roger Stone
The Proud Boys all love Roger Stone
Roger Stone Roger Stone

 

Danger Zone
The Ramones

New York city is a real cool town
Society really brings me down
Our playground is a pharmacy
Kids find trouble so easily

Other countries are just as bad
The soviets really make me mad
On the boulevard where police hide
Let's steal a car for a joyride

They say you're just an awkward kid
You flipped your lid you flipped your lid
You love wine like they love cash
Feel your rage spread like a rash

You flipped your lid you flipped your lid
You flipped your lid you flipped your lid
They say you're just an awkward kid
You flipped your lid you flipped your lid

All alone in the danger zone
Danger zone danger zone
All alone in the danger zone
Danger zone danger zone




From 1977 up until 1996, The Ramones played the Burgh a grand total of 14 times.  Never saw 'em.


The Big Lie 100: (#648)

#1417.  Crudite Mode (Holiday Road --- Lindsey Buckingham)

#1418.  Wants Crudite (So Far Away --- Dire Straits)

#1419.  The Crudite (Not Fade Away --- Grateful Dead)

#1420.  Crudite Din (Holiday Inn --- Elton John)
 
#1421.  Tiffany Smiley (Baba O'Riley --- Grateful Dead)

#1422.  Markwayne (Cocaine --- Eric Clapton)
 
#1423.  Coco Elaine (Hello Again --- The Cars)
 
#1424.  Ill Campaigns (Still Remains --- Stone Temple Pilots)
 
#1425.  Crudite (Yesterday --- Paul McCartney)
 
#1426.  Roe Roe Roe Your Vote (Row Row Row Your Vote --- Ella Fitzgerald)
 
#1427.  Tate Reeves (Governor Blows) --- (Believe (Nobody Knows) --- My Morning Jacket)
 
#1428.  Eatin' Crudite (Surfin' U.S.A. --- Beach Boys)
 
#1429.  Mrs. Smiley (Mr. Smiley --- Poison)
 
#1430.  Mitch McConnell (Old MacDonald --- Unknown)
 
#1431.  Master Is Special (Master Of Puppets --- Metallica) 

#1432.  Crudite (Holiday --- Bee Gees)
 
#1433.  Fucked Up Ass Blake Masters (Fabulous Disaster --- Exodus)
 
#1434.  Mrs. Smiley (Mr. Crowley --- Ozzy Osbourne)
 
#1435.  Talk To Mark Meadows (Walk In The Shadows --- Queensryche)
 
#1436. Chris Kice (The Price -- Twisted Sister)

#1437.  Crudite (Stay Away --- Nirvana)

#1438.  Crudite (New Year's Day --- U2)

#1439.  One More Crudite Bite (One More Saturday Night --- Grateful Dead)

#1440.  The Crudite's Bad (The Crudite) Don't Go Away Mad (Just Go Away) --- Motley Crue))

#1441.  Crudite (Say Say Say --- Paul McCartney & Michael Jackson)

#1442.  That Donald Trump Is... (All In The Name Of... Motley Crue)

#1443.  Comer Isn't Very Smart (Owner Of A Lonely Heart --- Yes)

#1444.  Mehmet Oz (Just Because --- Jane's Addiction)

#1445.  A Piece Of Shit From The Start (Total Eclipse Of The Heart --- Bonnie Tyler)

#1446.  J.D. (Lady --- Styx)

#1447.  J.D. Vance (My Romance --- Carly Simon)

#1448.  Donald Trump's Hair (Ya Mo B There --- Michael McDonald)

#1449.  Dixon, Tudor (Touch My Tooter --- Ween)

#1450.  J.D. (Lady --- Little River Band)

#1451.  J.D. Is Gay (Lay Lady Lay --- Bob Dylan)

#1452.  Tudor Dixon (Superstition --- Stevie Wonder)

#1453.  Richard Woods (Harry Hood --- Phish)

#1454.  Woods (Would --- Alice In Chains)

#1455.  Ted Budd (Blackbird --- The Beatles)

#1456.  Budd Is Far Right (Bloody Well Right --- Supertramp)

#1457.  Trump's Strange (La Grange --- ZZ Top)

#1458.  Ashley Kalus (Brokedown Palace --- Grateful Dead)

#1459.  Hung Cao (Right Now --- Van Halen)

#1460.  Hung Cao (Black Cow --- Steely Dan)

#1461.  Scott Jensen (Confusion --- Electric Light Orchestra)

#1462.  Meet Mehmet (Meet The Mets --- Ruth Roberts & Bill Katz)

#1463.  Bolduc (Holed Up --- The Raconteurs)

#1464.  Bolduc's Fucked up (Hold Your Head Up --- Argent)

#1465.  Vance Is A Cunt (Eminence Front --- The Who)

#1466.  Oh Mike Lindell (The First Noel --- Brian Wilson)

#1467.  A Fucking Assclown (The Final Countdown --- Europe)

#1468.  Kim Jong Un Will Fight (Afternoon Delight --- Starland Vocal Band)

#1469.  Majewski's Outta Line (Nobody's Fault But Mine --- Led Zeppelin)

#1470.  I Guess That's Why They Call Him A Jew (I Guess That's Why They Call It The Blues --- Elton John)

#1471.  Crudite Plate (Runaway Train --- Soul Asylum)

#1472.  Roger Stone (Danger Zone --- Kenny Loggins)

#1473.  Roger Stone (Danger Zone --- The Ramones)

 

Please do not share this material with Roger Stone and/or former President Donald J. Trump.