Wednesday, September 28, 2022

#1469. I Guess That's Why The Call Him A Jew

If you're having a discussion about historically influential Jews... well, let's see here.  There's Albert Einstein, Sigmund Freud, Benjamin Netanyahu.  And don't you dare forget Moses and Jesus.

 


However, if you're talkin' about the most influential Jewboy... well, there can be only one.  

And it ain't J.C.  It's J.K.  Jared Kushner!

Spotted on 9-28-22 at the corner of Tony Dorsett Dr. & West General Robinson Ave.



 


I Guess That’s Why They Call Him A Jew
sonofsaf

Donald Trump is gay
He’ll suck on your penis whenever
But criminally jail ain’t really okay
No king he’s only a debtor

Forty-five is still gay
Everyone knows that he lied
‘Bout Trump’s tiny dong in Stormy’s hairy cunt
’Twas their private parts where they tried

And I guess that’s why they call him a Jew
Kosher’s the plan circumcision for you
Fucking Ivanka, you will uncover
Kushner’s a blunder you will discover
And I guess that’s why they call him a Jew

Some critical race
Trump’s a disgrace not a man
Fuck all Mexicans no more immigration
Another threat that is the plan

Hating the world
Why the far right’s something else
Butt cracks they’ll sever and anally screw
You ’til the blood’s spilled and felt

And I guess that’s why they call him a Jew
Kosher’s the plan circumcision for you
Fucking Ivanka, you will uncover
Kushner’s a blunder you will discover
And I guess that’s why they call him a Jew

Hating the world
Why the far right’s something else
Butt cracks they’ll sever and anally screw
You ’til the blood’s spilled and felt

And I guess that’s why they call him a Jew
Kosher’s the plan and a rhyme meant for two
Fucking Ivanka, you will uncover
Kushner’s a blunder you will discover
And I guess that’s why they call him a Jew

And I guess that’s why they call him a Jew
Fucking Ivanka, you will uncover
And I guess that’s why they call him a Jew
Fucking Ivanka, you will uncover
And I guess that’s why they call him a Jew
And I guess Jared Kushner is a Jew

 

I Guess That's Why They Call It The Blues
Elton John

Don't wish it away
Don't look at it like it's forever
Between you and me I could honestly say
That things can only get better

And while I'm away
Dust out the demons inside
And it won't be long before you and me run
To the place in our hearts where we hide

And I guess that's why they call it the blues
Time on my hands could be time spent with you
Laughing like children, living like lovers
Rolling like thunder under the covers
And I guess that's why they call it the blues

Just stare into space
Picture my face in your hands
Live for each second without hesitation
And never forget I'm your man

Wait on me girl
Cry in the night if it helps
But more than ever I simply love you
More than I love life itself

And I guess that's why they call it the blues
Time on my hands could be time spent with you
Laughing like children, living like lovers
Rolling like thunder under the covers
And I guess that's why they call it the blues

Wait on me girl
Cry in the night if it helps
But more than ever I simply love you
More than I love life itself

And I guess that's why they call it the blues
Time on my hands could be time spent with you
Laughing like children, living like lovers
Rolling like thunder under the covers
And I guess that's why they call it the blues

And I guess that's why they call it the blues
Laughing like children, living like lovers
And I guess that's why they call it the blues
Laughing like children, living like lovers
And I guess that's why they call it the blues
And I guess that's why they call it the blues


 

My second parody of the Elton John classic.

About a year ago, I penned #838... "I Guess That's Why They Call It A Coup."

A couple weeks ago, Mason and I woke up at 3:30am to catch a Phoenix > Charlotte & Charlotte > Pittsburgh AA flight so we could get back in time for the final Elton John concert in the Burgh.  A couple songs in, we were still unsuccessful with our freebie ticket quest and about to head home.  Until this guy approached us out of nowhere and said he had 2 extra on his phone.  Didn't want to see them go to waste.  Needless to say, we happily obliged him.

Ended up on the field.  In the pit.  Scored a setlist...


 

...and even found a pair of binoculars.  The atmosphere was electric.  Elton John never disappoints.

So all in all, we went 2 for 4 on the 2022 PNC Park concert schedule.  

Metallica & Billy Joel fails.  Motley Crue & Elton John scores. 


Elton John:

6-11-99, Star Lake Amphitheater, Burgettstown, PA
3-23-11, Consol Energy Center, Pittsburgh, PA
9-18-12, Wesbanco Arena, Wheeling, WV
10-10-18, PPG Paints Arena, Pittsburgh, PA
9-16-22, PNC Park, Pittsburgh, PA


The Big Lie 100: (#645)

#1417.  Crudite Mode (Holiday Road --- Lindsey Buckingham)

#1418.  Wants Crudite (So Far Away --- Dire Straits)

#1419.  The Crudite (Not Fade Away --- Grateful Dead)

#1420.  Crudite Din (Holiday Inn --- Elton John)
 
#1421.  Tiffany Smiley (Baba O'Riley --- Grateful Dead)

#1422.  Markwayne (Cocaine --- Eric Clapton)
 
#1423.  Coco Elaine (Hello Again --- The Cars)
 
#1424.  Ill Campaigns (Still Remains --- Stone Temple Pilots)
 
#1425.  Crudite (Yesterday --- Paul McCartney)
 
#1426.  Roe Roe Roe Your Vote (Row Row Row Your Vote --- Ella Fitzgerald)
 
#1427.  Tate Reeves (Governor Blows) --- (Believe (Nobody Knows) --- My Morning Jacket)
 
#1428.  Eatin' Crudite (Surfin' U.S.A. --- Beach Boys)
 
#1429.  Mrs. Smiley (Mr. Smiley --- Poison)
 
#1430.  Mitch McConnell (Old MacDonald --- Unknown)
 
#1431.  Master Is Special (Master Of Puppets --- Metallica) 

#1432.  Crudite (Holiday --- Bee Gees)
 
#1433.  Fucked Up Ass Blake Masters (Fabulous Disaster --- Exodus)
 
#1434.  Mrs. Smiley (Mr. Crowley --- Ozzy Osbourne)
 
#1435.  Talk To Mark Meadows (Walk In The Shadows --- Queensryche)
 
#1436. Chris Kice (The Price -- Twisted Sister)

#1437.  Crudite (Stay Away --- Nirvana)

#1438.  Crudite (New Year's Day --- U2)

#1439.  One More Crudite Bite (One More Saturday Night --- Grateful Dead)

#1440.  The Crudite's Bad (The Crudite) Don't Go Away Mad (Just Go Away) --- Motley Crue))

#1441.  Crudite (Say Say Say --- Paul McCartney & Michael Jackson)

#1442.  That Donald Trump Is... (All In The Name Of... Motley Crue)

#1443.  Comer Isn't Very Smart (Owner Of A Lonely Heart --- Yes)

#1444.  Mehmet Oz (Just Because --- Jane's Addiction)

#1445.  A Piece Of Shit From The Start (Total Eclipse Of The Heart --- Bonnie Tyler)

#1446.  J.D. (Lady --- Styx)

#1447.  J.D. Vance (My Romance --- Carly Simon)

#1448.  Donald Trump's Hair (Ya Mo B There --- Michael McDonald)

#1449.  Dixon, Tudor (Touch My Tooter --- Ween)

#1450.  J.D. (Lady --- Little River Band)

#1451.  J.D. Is Gay (Lay Lady Lay --- Bob Dylan)

#1452.  Tudor Dixon (Superstition --- Stevie Wonder)

#1453.  Richard Woods (Harry Hood --- Phish)

#1454.  Woods (Would --- Alice In Chains)

#1455.  Ted Budd (Blackbird --- The Beatles)

#1456.  Budd Is Far Right (Bloody Well Right --- Supertramp)

#1457.  Trump's Strange (La Grange --- ZZ Top)

#1458.  Ashley Kalus (Brokedown Palace --- Grateful Dead)

#1459.  Hung Cao (Right Now --- Van Halen)

#1460.  Hung Cao (Black Cow --- Steely Dan)

#1461.  Scott Jensen (Confusion --- Electric Light Orchestra)

#1462.  Meet Mehmet (Meet The Mets --- Ruth Roberts & Bill Katz)

#1463.  Bolduc (Holed Up --- The Raconteurs)

#1464.  Bolduc's Fucked up (Hold Your Head Up --- Argent)

#1465.  Vance Is A Cunt (Eminence Front --- The Who)

#1466.  Oh Mike Lindell (The First Noel --- Brian Wilson)

#1467.  A Fucking Assclown (The Final Countdown --- Europe)

#1468.  Kim Jong Un Will Fight (Afternoon Delight --- Starland Vocal Band)

#1469.  Majewski's Outta Line (Nobody's Fault But Mine --- Led Zeppelin)

#1470.  I Guess That's Why They Call Him A Jew (I Guess That's Why They Call It The Blues --- Elton John)


Please do not share this information with Jared Kushner and/or former President Donald J. Trump.

 

 

 

Tuesday, September 27, 2022

#1469. Majewski's Outta Line

How about a parody for J.R. Majewski from northwestern Ohio?

A cunt-gressional ass-pirant straight outta the Orange Prolapse.



Regardless, you wanna talk about that which is insane? 

I've also written #1217.  Majewski's Asinine.

It's the exact same fucking song!  But with a completely different title and totally different lyrics.  

Didn't even realize.  Maybe I'm the one with dementia.   

Maybe I am, Maybe I'm not.

 


 

Majewski’s Outta Line
sonofsaf

Oh, Majewski’s outta line
Majewski’s outta line
J.R.'s gonna suck the far right

Oh, that Majewski’s outta line

Donald’s a total asshole
Donald’s a total asshole
Trump acts like a big fat dyke

Majewski’s outta line
Oh, oh, oh, oh

Donald Trump can’t get along
Donald’s dick is not that long long long long
Donald’s sick and wants to fight

Oh, that Majewski’s outta line

Take some anal up the ass
A-a-a-a-anal up the ass, ass, ass, ass
Donald Trump is orange not white

Majewski’s outta line

Donald’s sick and wants to fight
A-a-a-a-ass, Majewski’s out 



Nobody's Fault But Mine

Led Zeppelin

Oh, nobody's fault but mine
Nobody's fault but mine
Trying to save my soul tonight

Oh, it's nobody's fault but mine

Devil. He taught me to roll
Devil. He taught me to roll
How to roll the lot you like

Nobody's fault but mine
Oh, oh, oh, oh

Brother. He showed me the gong
Brother. He showed me the ding dong ding dong
How to kick that gong to light

Oh, it's nobody's fault but mine

Got a monkey on my back
M-m-m-m-monkey on my back, back, back, back
Gonna change my ways tonight

Nobody's fault but mine

How to kick that gong to light
N-n-n-n-n-no, nobody's fault



 

So if you're a rough and tumble, Zep-lovin', Harley-ridin', Sandusky-humpin', Trump-hatin' resident of the Ohio 9th District... well, this is the song is for you.  Lyrics are spot-on.

Feel free to light up the Buckeye belt karaoke circuit.

Preferably delivered with a raised orange dildo in hand.


Led Zeppelin related concerts:

3-25-95, Jimmy Page & Robert Plant, Civic Arena, Pittsburgh, PA
6-28-00, Jimmy Page w/ The Black Crowes, Post-Gazette Pavilion, Burgettstown, PA (one of my Top 10 favorite concerts all-time)


The Big Lie 100: (#644)

#1417.  Crudite Mode (Holiday Road --- Lindsey Buckingham)

#1418.  Wants Crudite (So Far Away --- Dire Straits)

#1419.  The Crudite (Not Fade Away --- Grateful Dead)

#1420.  Crudite Din (Holiday Inn --- Elton John)
 
#1421.  Tiffany Smiley (Baba O'Riley --- Grateful Dead)

#1422.  Markwayne (Cocaine --- Eric Clapton)
 
#1423.  Coco Elaine (Hello Again --- The Cars)
 
#1424.  Ill Campaigns (Still Remains --- Stone Temple Pilots)
 
#1425.  Crudite (Yesterday --- Paul McCartney)
 
#1426.  Roe Roe Roe Your Vote (Row Row Row Your Vote --- Ella Fitzgerald)
 
#1427.  Tate Reeves (Governor Blows) --- (Believe (Nobody Knows) --- My Morning Jacket)
 
#1428.  Eatin' Crudite (Surfin' U.S.A. --- Beach Boys)
 
#1429.  Mrs. Smiley (Mr. Smiley --- Poison)
 
#1430.  Mitch McConnell (Old MacDonald --- Unknown)
 
#1431.  Master Is Special (Master Of Puppets --- Metallica) 

#1432.  Crudite (Holiday --- Bee Gees)
 
#1433.  Fucked Up Ass Blake Masters (Fabulous Disaster --- Exodus)
 
#1434.  Mrs. Smiley (Mr. Crowley --- Ozzy Osbourne)
 
#1435.  Talk To Mark Meadows (Walk In The Shadows --- Queensryche)
 
#1436. Chris Kice (The Price -- Twisted Sister)

#1437.  Crudite (Stay Away --- Nirvana)

#1438.  Crudite (New Year's Day --- U2)

#1439.  One More Crudite Bite (One More Saturday Night --- Grateful Dead)

#1440.  The Crudite's Bad (The Crudite) Don't Go Away Mad (Just Go Away) --- Motley Crue))

#1441.  Crudite (Say Say Say --- Paul McCartney & Michael Jackson)

#1442.  That Donald Trump Is... (All In The Name Of... Motley Crue)

#1443.  Comer Isn't Very Smart (Owner Of A Lonely Heart --- Yes)

#1444.  Mehmet Oz (Just Because --- Jane's Addiction)

#1445.  A Piece Of Shit From The Start (Total Eclipse Of The Heart --- Bonnie Tyler)

#1446.  J.D. (Lady --- Styx)

#1447.  J.D. Vance (My Romance --- Carly Simon)

#1448.  Donald Trump's Hair (Ya Mo B There --- Michael McDonald)

#1449.  Dixon, Tudor (Touch My Tooter --- Ween)

#1450.  J.D. (Lady --- Little River Band)

#1451.  J.D. Is Gay (Lay Lady Lay --- Bob Dylan)

#1452.  Tudor Dixon (Superstition --- Stevie Wonder)

#1453.  Richard Woods (Harry Hood --- Phish)

#1454.  Woods (Would --- Alice In Chains)

#1455.  Ted Budd (Blackbird --- The Beatles)

#1456.  Budd Is Far Right (Bloody Well Right --- Supertramp)

#1457.  Trump's Strange (La Grange --- ZZ Top)

#1458.  Ashley Kalus (Brokedown Palace --- Grateful Dead)

#1459.  Hung Cao (Right Now --- Van Halen)

#1460.  Hung Cao (Black Cow --- Steely Dan)

#1461.  Scott Jensen (Confusion --- Electric Light Orchestra)

#1462.  Meet Mehmet (Meet The Mets --- Ruth Roberts & Bill Katz)

#1463.  Bolduc (Holed Up --- The Raconteurs)

#1464.  Bolduc's Fucked up (Hold Your Head Up --- Argent)

#1465.  Vance Is A Cunt (Eminence Front --- The Who)

#1466.  Oh Mike Lindell (The First Noel --- Brian Wilson)

#1467.  A Fucking Assclown (The Final Countdown --- Europe)

#1468.  Kim Jong Un Will Fight (Afternoon Delight --- Starland Vocal Band)

#1469.  Majewski's Outta Line (Nobody's Fault But Mine --- Led Zeppelin)


Please do not share this information with J.R. Majewski and/or former President Donald J. Trump.