Friday, September 09, 2022

#1447. J.D. Vance

The Orange Prolapse is coming to Youngstown, Ohio on September 17 to stump for the Silicon Hillbilly, J.D. Vance.  The only problem is that Trump's appearance and his predictably rambling and agonizingly hateful 7pm speech will coincide with the Ohio State game against the Toledo Rockets.


So here's an amusing hypothetical.  Plenty of people in the Covelli Centre will be "discreetly" watching the game on their cell phones while Trump whines and bitches.  But it could make for a comical dynamic.  Here's why.  The over/under on that game is gonna be high.  Hell, the O/U on tomorrow's Arkansas vs. Ohio State game is 68.  OSU is a -43.5 favorite.  So it stands to reason that while Trump is speaking, the Buckeyes will be scoring plenty of touchdowns against an even smaller MAC opponent.

What if these Ohio MAGA idiots erupt in cheers during an inopportune moment?  Maybe while Trump is talking somberly about the death of the Queen or commiserating about how the FBI ransacked Melania's underwear drawer.  I could even envision the potential for fights in the crowd.  Largely because the hardcore "Hang Mike Pence" Trumpers would think that watching a football game on your cell phone, while Trump is on stage, would be a blatant sign of disrespect.  The equivalent of seditious blasphemy! 

Just something to keep an eye on.  Hey, it could be worse.


JD Vance

J.D. Vance is a proponent of the biggest lie,
J.D. Vance is a silicon bitch just don’t ask why
Some say he’s gay, some say retard,
McDonald’s hey, Big Macs and lard.

J.D. Vance is a total asshole Orange Prolapse stain
Bad romance a very stormy adulterous pain.
Goodness sake news is fake Kushner’s dick’s is a mushroom too.
J.D. Vance is the cum dumpster for you.



My Romance
Carly Simon

My romance doesn't have to have a moon in the sky,
My romance doesn't need a blue lagoon standing by.
No month of May, no twinkling stars,
No hide away, no soft guitars.

My romance doesn't need a castle rising in Spain
Nor a dance to a constantly surprising refrain.
Wide awake I can make my most fantastic dreams come true,
My romance doesn't need a thing but you. 



Carly Simon came to the Burgh just once.  Back in 1980 at the Stanley Theater (Benedum).  At the time, I was 10 years old and failed to make the trek from Wheeling, WV.

Plenty of old school crooners have performed this song.  Tony Bennett, Ella Fitzgerald, Sammy Davis Jr., Ray Charles, on and on.  Not really my cup of tea.  

Fuck J.D. Vance: (give peace a chance top 10)
#434.  Vance Vance Vance (Dance Dance Dance --- Ratt)
#435.  Team Vance (Let's Dance --- David Bowie)
#502.  Vote For J.D. Vance (Saint Of Circumstance --- Grateful Dead)
#503.  Vance (France --- Grateful Dead)
#514J.D. Vance For Me (Take A Chance On Me --- ABBA)
#1164.  Vance Whore (Dancefloors --- My Morning Jacket)
#1166.  Vance Is White (Dance Tonight --- Paul McCartney)

#1172.  Vance Is Gay (Dance Hall Days --- Wang Chung)

#1183.  J.D. Vance Is A Cunt That's Right (Everybody Have Fun Tonight --- Wang Chung)
#1446.  J.D. (Lady --- Styx)
#1447.  J.D. Vance (My Romance --- Carly Simon)

The Big Lie 100: (#622)

#1417.  Crudite Mode (Holiday Road --- Lindsey Buckingham)

#1418.  Wants Crudite (So Far Away --- Dire Straits)

#1419.  The Crudite (Not Fade Away --- Grateful Dead)

#1420.  Crudite Din (Holiday Inn --- Elton John)
#1421.  Tiffany Smiley (Baba O'Riley --- Grateful Dead)

#1422.  Markwayne (Cocaine --- Eric Clapton)
#1423.  Coco Elaine (Hello Again --- The Cars)
#1424.  Ill Campaigns (Still Remains --- Stone Temple Pilots)
#1425.  Crudite (Yesterday --- Paul McCartney)
#1426.  Roe Roe Roe Your Vote (Row Row Row Your Vote --- Ella Fitzgerald)
#1427.  Tate Reeves (Governor Blows) --- (Believe (Nobody Knows) --- My Morning Jacket)
#1428.  Eatin' Crudite (Surfin' U.S.A. --- Beach Boys)
#1429.  Mrs. Smiley (Mr. Smiley --- Poison)
#1430.  Mitch McConnell (Old MacDonald --- Unknown)
#1431.  Master Is Special (Master Of Puppets --- Metallica) 

#1432.  Crudite (Holiday --- Bee Gees)
#1433.  Fucked Up Ass Blake Masters (Fabulous Disaster --- Exodus)
#1434.  Mrs. Smiley (Mr. Crowley --- Ozzy Osbourne)
#1435.  Talk To Mark Meadows (Walk In The Shadows --- Queensryche)
#1436. Chris Kice (The Price -- Twisted Sister)

#1437.  Crudite (Stay Away --- Nirvana)

#1438.  Crudite (New Year's Day --- U2)

#1439.  One More Crudite Bite (One More Saturday Night --- Grateful Dead)

#1440.  The Crudite's Bad (The Crudite) Don't Go Away Mad (Just Go Away) --- Motley Crue))

#1441.  Crudite (Say Say Say --- Paul McCartney & Michael Jackson)

#1442.  That Donald Trump Is... (All In The Name Of... Motley Crue)

#1443.  Comer Isn't Very Smart (Owner Of A Lonely Heart --- Yes)

#1444.  Mehmet Oz (Just Because --- Jane's Addiction)

#1445.  A Piece Of Shit From The Start (Total Eclipse Of The Heart --- Bonnie Tyler)

#1446.  J.D. (Lady --- Styx)

#1447.  J.D. Vance (My Romance --- Carly Simon)


Please do not share this material with J.D. Vance and/or former President Donald J. Trump.


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