#4018. Pete Hegseth

Department of GWAR Secretary Pete Hegseth has becum increasingly concerned about the size of tiny mushrooms.

In recent scripted remarks, Hegseth unveiled a plan to personally measure the size of everyone with a penis who has enlisted in the Army, Navy, Air Force and/or Marines.  Coast Guard and Space Force too!  

That a helluva lotta dick! 

The recent testimony from Todd Blanche was even worse.

I prefer Hidden Valley Ranch... not Todd "Liar" Blanche.

I only wish the Epstein survivors he was reluctantly compelled to speak with... would've taken turns spitting in his face.

 

Pete Hegseth
sonofsaf

Trump is dumping (a) cum dumpster load
In Lake Tahoe
Pete Hegseth
Hegseth, screw!
The twat of Washington, D.C.
From Mar-a-Lago
Pete Hegseth
Hegseth, screw!

Pete Hegseth
Is fuckin’ MAGA
Peter Hegseth
Is suckin’ MAGA 
Golden shitters
His toilet’s backed up
Trump’s Bible is his testament
Lee Greenwood’s a Christian cunt

Peter Hegseth
Jared Kushner’s a Jew

Mm-mm-mm-mmm-mmm
Mmm-mmm
Pete Hegseth
Hegseth, screw!
Mm-mm-mm-mmm-mmm
Mmm-mmm
Pete Hegseth
Hegseth, screw!

Pete Hegseth
That mutha fucka
Peter Hegseth
Mushroom cock sucka
News mistaking
Donald’s ass yinz fearing
The election is nearing
Trump Steaks are well done ’n searing

Peter Hegseth
Jared Kushner’s a Jew

Hegseth!

 

The Black Death
Something Rotten (Broadway Musical)

What's that coming up the Silk Road?
Out of China?
The Black Death
Black Death, whoo!
What's that creeping 'round your pee-pee?
And your vagina?
The Black Death
Black Death, whoo!

The Black Death
It's gonna get ya
It's The Black Death
It's gonna hit ya
With those blisters
Oozing like syrup
That pesty little pestilence
Is killing half of Europe

It's The Black Death
And it's coming for you

Mm-mm-mm-mmm-mmm
Mmm-mmm
The Black Death
Black Death, whoo!
Mm-mm-mm-mmm-mmm
Mmm-mmm
The Black Death
Black Death, whoo!

The Black Death
It's getting closer
It's the Black Death
It's getting grosser
And it's making
Its way across England
Soon everything that's dangling
Won't be any good for ding-land

It's The Black Death
And it's coming for you

Black Death!

AI overview cop-out.  Enjoy!

Something Rotten! is an irreverent Broadway musical set in the 1595 Renaissance, following two brothers who try to out-write William Shakespeare by inventing the world's first musical. In the Pittsburgh area, it is frequently staged by regional theaters and youth groups, though no large-scale professional tours are currently running at major venues. 

My sincerest apologies.  Zero witty commentary or meaningless observations.

The Big Lie 100:

#3952.  Stormy D. (Valerie --- Steve Winwood)

#3953.  Stormy D. (Stand By Me --- Ben E. King)

#3954.  Delaney Hall (Once And For All --- Hell Is For Heroes)

#3955.  Bari Weiss (Edelweiss --- The Sound Of Music)

#3956.  Bari Weiss (Pay The Price --- Twisted Sister)

#3957.  Wes Climer (Tree Climber --- Stellar Kart)

#3958.  Donald Is Very Gay (Drivin' My Life Away --- Eddie Rabbit)

#3959.  Carrie Buck (What The Fuck --- Bill Wurtz)

#3960.  The Donald's Big Lie (No Woman, No Cry --- Bob Marley)

#3961.  Glassman (Madman --- Crippled Black Phoenix)

#3962.  Glassman (Madman --- Silverchair)

#3963.  Hern (Learn --- Ari Hest)

#3964.  Trump Derangement Syndrome (Fading Kitten Syndrome --- ROAR) 

#3965.  John Wahl (The Wall --- Alok & Sevenn)

#3966.  Jackson (Jackson --- Dave Barnes)

#3967.  Jackson (Jackson --- Lucinda Williams)

#3968.  John Wahl (The Wall --- Willie Nelson)

#3969.  Celeste Maloy (Helen Of Troy --- Orchestral Manoeuvres In The Dark)

#3970.  Rick Jackson (To Jackson --- The Cribs)

#3971.  Reflecting Pool (Too Cool For School --- Fountains Of Wayne)

#3972.  J.D. Vance (Capri Pants --- Bikini Kill)

#3973.  J.D. Vance (Take A Chance --- Brother Cane)

#3974.  James (Games --- Ryan Adams)

#3975.  James (Games --- The Strokes)

#3976.  John James Is Boneless (Who Claims The Soulless --- Danzig)

#3977.  Mike Mazzei (Stir Crazy --- Unlike Pluto)

#3978.  Bruce Blakeman (Awaken --- Big Wild)

#3979.  Oberacker (Jacob's Ladder --- Bruce Springsteen)

#3980.  Kennedy (Jealousy --- Spoon)

#3981.  Steiner (Miner --- Kara's Flowers)

#3982.  Trump Is A Cunt From The Right (Ain't Even Done With The Night --- John Cougar Mellencamp)

#3983.  David Steiner (Granny Diner --- Grizzly Bear)

#3984.  Reflecting Pool (We Rule The School --- Belle & Sebastian)

#3985.  Oberacker (Jacob's Ladder --- Patrick Wolf)

#3986.  Oberacker (Jacob's Ladder --- Anne Murray)

#3987.  Bill Pulte (Bird Of Prey --- The Doors)

#3988.  Bill Pulte (Bird of Prey --- Army Of Lovers)

#3989.  Bill Pulte (New Year's Day --- U2)

#3990.  Steiner (Miner --- Kara's Flowers)

#3991.  Keep On Rowing (Keep on Growing --- Grateful Dead)

#3992.  Crank (Blank --- Smashing Pumpkins)

#3993.  John James (Head Games --- Foreigner)

#3994.  David Steiner (All Night Diner --- Taylor Swift)

#3995.  Downing (Drowning --- Stereophonics)

#3996.  The Immaculate Concussion (The Immaculate Rejection --- sonofsaf)

#3997.  Mitch (Bitch --- The Vaselines)

#3998.  Mitch (Bitch --- Stephen Lynch)

#3999.  Mitch (Bitch --- Yeah Yeah Yeahs)

#4000.  Tayvis (Save Us --- King's X)

#4001.  Sacrifice (Vincent Price --- Deep Purple)

#4002.  Save America Act (As A Matter Of Fact --- Babyface)

#4003.  Tiny Mushroom Trump Accounts (A Collection Of Accounts --- Superchunk)

#4004.  Trump Accounts (Shake Break Bounce --- The Chemical Brothers)

#4005.  Trump's Sacrifice (My Sacrifice --- Creed)

#4006.  Graham Platner (deli platter --- Johnny Utah)

#4007.  Shotwell (Bombshell --- Operation Ivy)

#4008.  The MAGA Meltdown (The Final Countdown --- Europe)

#4009.  Shotwell (Unwell --- Surf Curse)

#4010.  Lindsey Graham (Heather Graham --- Da Vinci's Notebook)

#4011.  Freedom Fuel (Rocket Fuel --- Alvin Lee)

#4012.  Mitch McConnell (Horizontal --- Bee Gees)

#4013.  Nancy Mace (Face To Face --- David Allan Coe)

#4014.  Darline (Darlene --- The Lumineers)

#4015.  Mike Lindell (NFL --- sonofsaf)

#4016.  Governor Stitt (Lickety Split --- Spiderbait)

#4017.  Hegseth (Deep Breath --- 32 Leaves)

#4018.  Pete Hegseth (The Black Death --- Something Rotten Broadway Musical)

Please do not share this material with Pete Hegseth and/or President Donald J. Trump.

#4017. Hegseth

Department of GWAR Secretary Pete Hegseth is calling for testosterone level screening of male service military members.  

Hegseth's also deeply upset that some sailors are growing beards... in utter defiance of his internal "Clean Shaven" Memorandum of Understanding.

I would recommend screening President Donald J. Trump for testosterone immediately.  Hey, if he's the Commander-in-Chief, the Orange Prolapse should lead by example.

I do not relish 47.

The dilemma here... is that Donald has a tiny mushroom penis (as has been credibly documented by Stormy Daniels) and has virtually zero testosterone (as is visibly reflected by his incapability to grow any facial hair whatsoever).

 

 

Hegseth
sonofsaf

Yeah, Trump pornography
Lake Tahoe’s stormy
Shitshow is always so unkind
Tiny mushroom demand, and
Insurrection fan
Proud Boys and Oath Keepers fight
Spreadin’ big lies
Gay…
Gay enemy
Bud Light mistake
The mid-terms won’t be fun.

 

Deep Breath
32 Leaves

Yeah, you can ride for free
Come along with me
You know you're always on my mind
They wouldn't understand, but
That was half the plan
A room filled with candle light
Sex in Disguise
Lay...
Lay next to me
Taste what you make
Then hold me next to none. 

32 Leaves has never branched the Burgh.  Never heard of 'em.

The Big Lie 100:

#3952.  Stormy D. (Valerie --- Steve Winwood)

#3953.  Stormy D. (Stand By Me --- Ben E. King)

#3954.  Delaney Hall (Once And For All --- Hell Is For Heroes)

#3955.  Bari Weiss (Edelweiss --- The Sound Of Music)

#3956.  Bari Weiss (Pay The Price --- Twisted Sister)

#3957.  Wes Climer (Tree Climber --- Stellar Kart)

#3958.  Donald Is Very Gay (Drivin' My Life Away --- Eddie Rabbit)

#3959.  Carrie Buck (What The Fuck --- Bill Wurtz)

#3960.  The Donald's Big Lie (No Woman, No Cry --- Bob Marley)

#3961.  Glassman (Madman --- Crippled Black Phoenix)

#3962.  Glassman (Madman --- Silverchair)

#3963.  Hern (Learn --- Ari Hest)

#3964.  Trump Derangement Syndrome (Fading Kitten Syndrome --- ROAR) 

#3965.  John Wahl (The Wall --- Alok & Sevenn)

#3966.  Jackson (Jackson --- Dave Barnes)

#3967.  Jackson (Jackson --- Lucinda Williams)

#3968.  John Wahl (The Wall --- Willie Nelson)

#3969.  Celeste Maloy (Helen Of Troy --- Orchestral Manoeuvres In The Dark)

#3970.  Rick Jackson (To Jackson --- The Cribs)

#3971.  Reflecting Pool (Too Cool For School --- Fountains Of Wayne)

#3972.  J.D. Vance (Capri Pants --- Bikini Kill)

#3973.  J.D. Vance (Take A Chance --- Brother Cane)

#3974.  James (Games --- Ryan Adams)

#3975.  James (Games --- The Strokes)

#3976.  John James Is Boneless (Who Claims The Soulless --- Danzig)

#3977.  Mike Mazzei (Stir Crazy --- Unlike Pluto)

#3978.  Bruce Blakeman (Awaken --- Big Wild)

#3979.  Oberacker (Jacob's Ladder --- Bruce Springsteen)

#3980.  Kennedy (Jealousy --- Spoon)

#3981.  Steiner (Miner --- Kara's Flowers)

#3982.  Trump Is A Cunt From The Right (Ain't Even Done With The Night --- John Cougar Mellencamp)

#3983.  David Steiner (Granny Diner --- Grizzly Bear)

#3984.  Reflecting Pool (We Rule The School --- Belle & Sebastian)

#3985.  Oberacker (Jacob's Ladder --- Patrick Wolf)

#3986.  Oberacker (Jacob's Ladder --- Anne Murray)

#3987.  Bill Pulte (Bird Of Prey --- The Doors)

#3988.  Bill Pulte (Bird of Prey --- Army Of Lovers)

#3989.  Bill Pulte (New Year's Day --- U2)

#3990.  Steiner (Miner --- Kara's Flowers)

#3991.  Keep On Rowing (Keep on Growing --- Grateful Dead)

#3992.  Crank (Blank --- Smashing Pumpkins)

#3993.  John James (Head Games --- Foreigner)

#3994.  David Steiner (All Night Diner --- Taylor Swift)

#3995.  Downing (Drowning --- Stereophonics)

#3996.  The Immaculate Concussion (The Immaculate Rejection --- sonofsaf)

#3997.  Mitch (Bitch --- The Vaselines)

#3998.  Mitch (Bitch --- Stephen Lynch)

#3999.  Mitch (Bitch --- Yeah Yeah Yeahs)

#4000.  Tayvis (Save Us --- King's X)

#4001.  Sacrifice (Vincent Price --- Deep Purple)

#4002.  Save America Act (As A Matter Of Fact --- Babyface)

#4003.  Tiny Mushroom Trump Accounts (A Collection Of Accounts --- Superchunk)

#4004.  Trump Accounts (Shake Break Bounce --- The Chemical Brothers)

#4005.  Trump's Sacrifice (My Sacrifice --- Creed)

#4006.  Graham Platner (deli platter --- Johnny Utah)

#4007.  Shotwell (Bombshell --- Operation Ivy)

#4008.  The MAGA Meltdown (The Final Countdown --- Europe)

#4009.  Shotwell (Unwell --- Surf Curse)

#4010.  Lindsey Graham (Heather Graham --- Da Vinci's Notebook)

#4011.  Freedom Fuel (Rocket Fuel --- Alvin Lee)

#4012.  Mitch McConnell (Horizontal --- Bee Gees)

#4013.  Nancy Mace (Face To Face --- David Allan Coe)

#4014.  Darline (Darlene --- The Lumineers)

#4015.  Mike Lindell (NFL --- sonofsaf)

#4016.  Governor Stitt (Lickety Split --- Spiderbait)

#4017.  Hegseth (Deep Breath --- 32 Leaves)

Please do not share this material with Pete Hegseth and/or President Donald J. Trump.