#3997. Mitch

Former Senate Majority Leader Mitch McConnell (R-KY) isn't doing too well.

About 3 weeks ago, paramedics gave McConnell CPR.  Yep, unconscious in a state of cardiac arrest.  A spokesman for the Senator said he's in the hospital recuperating...  and doing well.

The Orange Prolapse smiles when the Old Crow concedes that he'll likely soon pass away

Let us say a pray for Mitch.  He was the lone GOP Senator to vote against Robert F. Kennedy Jr. for Health & Human Services Director.

Behold!  The Reflecting Poo.  (Rachel Carson Bridge) 

For the Love of M-n!

Such courage... especially when it doesn't count for shit.

Mitch
sonofsaf

Senator Mitch
Kentucky’s a bitch
Big Mac Quarter Pound,
Stop the stealing clown.

The ground and pound of UFC despair,
Minoxidil chooser, The Donald’s hair,
Stormy D. is wetter you’ll see,
All the news is faker in D.C.

Cum hear the sound tiny penis fan,
His mushroom’s a dud, no fuckin’ stir fry plan, 
Retard of lard, Orange Prolapse strong,
With a coup d’etat plan let’s sing-a-long.

 

Bitch
The Vasolines

I'm a real bitch,
I'm a twisted witch,
I'll screw you around,
When your feeling down.

I wonder around with my nose in the air,
I bug all these losers, but I don't care,
They might think they're better than me,
But I'm gonna make them history.

I've been around I've done all I can,
I'll mess you a bud, I'll even steal your man,
I've tried to hard, been pushed too long,
Gonna put all you man where you belong.

The Vaselines never lubricated the Burgh.  Never saw 'em.

The Big Lie 100:

#3952.  Stormy D. (Valerie --- Steve Winwood)

#3953.  Stormy D. (Stand By Me --- Ben E. King)

#3954.  Delaney Hall (Once And For All --- Hell Is For Heroes)

#3955.  Bari Weiss (Edelweiss --- The Sound Of Music)

#3956.  Bari Weiss (Pay The Price --- Twisted Sister)

#3957.  Wes Climer (Tree Climber --- Stellar Kart)

#3958.  Donald Is Very Gay (Drivin' My Life Away --- Eddie Rabbit)

#3959.  Carrie Buck (What The Fuck --- Bill Wurtz)

#3960.  The Donald's Big Lie (No Woman, No Cry --- Bob Marley)

#3961.  Glassman (Madman --- Crippled Black Phoenix)

#3962.  Glassman (Madman --- Silverchair)

#3963.  Hern (Learn --- Ari Hest)

#3964.  Trump Derangement Syndrome (Fading Kitten Syndrome --- ROAR) 

#3965.  John Wahl (The Wall --- Alok & Sevenn)

#3966.  Jackson (Jackson --- Dave Barnes)

#3967.  Jackson (Jackson --- Lucinda Williams)

#3968.  John Wahl (The Wall --- Willie Nelson)

#3969.  Celeste Maloy (Helen Of Troy --- Orchestral Manoeuvres In The Dark)

#3970.  Rick Jackson (To Jackson --- The Cribs)

#3971.  Reflecting Pool (Too Cool For School --- Fountains Of Wayne)

#3972.  J.D. Vance (Capri Pants --- Bikini Kill)

#3973.  J.D. Vance (Take A Chance --- Brother Cane)

#3974.  James (Games --- Ryan Adams)

#3975.  James (Games --- The Strokes)

#3976.  John James Is Boneless (Who Claims The Soulless --- Danzig)

#3977.  Mike Mazzei (Stir Crazy --- Unlike Pluto)

#3978.  Bruce Blakeman (Awaken --- Big Wild)

#3979.  Oberacker (Jacob's Ladder --- Bruce Springsteen)

#3980.  Kennedy (Jealousy --- Spoon)

#3981.  Steiner (Miner --- Kara's Flowers)

#3982.  Trump Is A Cunt From The Right (Ain't Even Done With The Night --- John Cougar Mellencamp)

#3983.  David Steiner (Granny Diner --- Grizzly Bear)

#3984.  Reflecting Pool (We Rule The School --- Belle & Sebastian)

#3985.  Oberacker (Jacob's Ladder --- Patrick Wolf)

#3986.  Oberacker (Jacob's Ladder --- Anne Murray)

#3987.  Bill Pulte (Bird Of Prey --- The Doors)

#3988.  Bill Pulte (Bird of Prey --- Army Of Lovers)

#3989.  Bill Pulte (New Year's Day --- U2)

#3990.  Steiner (Miner --- Kara's Flowers)

#3991.  Keep On Rowing (Keep on Growing --- Grateful Dead)

#3992.  Crank (Blank --- Smashing Pumpkins)

#3993.  John James (Head Games --- Foreigner)

#3994.  David Steiner (All Night Diner --- Taylor Swift)

#3995.  Downing (Drowning --- Stereophonics)

#3996.  The Immaculate Concussion (The Immaculate Rejection --- sonofsaf)

#3997.  Mitch (Bitch --- The Vaselines)

Please do not share this material with Senator Mitch McConnell and/or President Donald J. Trump.

 

 

#3996. The Immaculate Concussion

Back in 2014, I penned an undiscussable children's book entitled "The Immaculate Rejection." 

Warning: Not for the faint of heart.

Little did I know, that just 2 years later, the mysterious "Havana Syndrome" would leave it's mark on American diplomats and personnel stationed in Cuba.  Migraines, vertigo, mental fog and memory lapses, tinnitus, chronic fatigue, insomnia, the list is basically endless.

Experts refer to the unexplainable symptoms as "The Immaculate Concussion."  Hmm, sound familiar? 

General consensus is that it involves small "disguised weapons" capable of emitting a constant barrage of "high frequency microwave pulses."  But due to the inherent reluctance of acknowledging asymmetric warfare and the generational warfare paradigm (injuring and killing people without conventional weapons), it remains a touchy subject.  

Again, sound familiar?  Hint: dominipede.

The Immaculate Concussion
Dr. Douglas H. Smith

The Immaculate Rejection
sonofsaf

 

I've never done a parody of a book title.  Seemed appropriate considering that reports of Havana Syndrome have impacted roughly 1,500 U.S. personnel in 96 countries worldwide. 

Hey, at least Havana syndrome is minimally discussable (after 10+ years).

My material, the wireless equivalent of shouting "FIRE" in a crowded theater, remains entirely undiscussable.  Keep an eye out for September 27, 2026 at 3pm.

Eight NFL games, Fifteen MLB games, a NASCAR race in Kansas and D-g knows what else.  Ouch.

No big deal really.  But mark my words... on 9/11, everyone looked up and saw planes crash into buildings.  Then they ran for their lives.  On the next 9/11, everyone will look down into their cell phones screens and then react accordingly.  And once again, they'll run for their lives.

A decentralized, mass casualty AI-driven event is inevitable.  My bet's on the stampedes.  It'll make the first 9/11 look like a kindergarten bake sale.

Have a happy 4th of July.

The Big Lie 100:

#3952.  Stormy D. (Valerie --- Steve Winwood)

#3953.  Stormy D. (Stand By Me --- Ben E. King)

#3954.  Delaney Hall (Once And For All --- Hell Is For Heroes)

#3955.  Bari Weiss (Edelweiss --- The Sound Of Music)

#3956.  Bari Weiss (Pay The Price --- Twisted Sister)

#3957.  Wes Climer (Tree Climber --- Stellar Kart)

#3958.  Donald Is Very Gay (Drivin' My Life Away --- Eddie Rabbit)

#3959.  Carrie Buck (What The Fuck --- Bill Wurtz)

#3960.  The Donald's Big Lie (No Woman, No Cry --- Bob Marley)

#3961.  Glassman (Madman --- Crippled Black Phoenix)

#3962.  Glassman (Madman --- Silverchair)

#3963.  Hern (Learn --- Ari Hest)

#3964.  Trump Derangement Syndrome (Fading Kitten Syndrome --- ROAR) 

#3965.  John Wahl (The Wall --- Alok & Sevenn)

#3966.  Jackson (Jackson --- Dave Barnes)

#3967.  Jackson (Jackson --- Lucinda Williams)

#3968.  John Wahl (The Wall --- Willie Nelson)

#3969.  Celeste Maloy (Helen Of Troy --- Orchestral Manoeuvres In The Dark)

#3970.  Rick Jackson (To Jackson --- The Cribs)

#3971.  Reflecting Pool (Too Cool For School --- Fountains Of Wayne)

#3972.  J.D. Vance (Capri Pants --- Bikini Kill)

#3973.  J.D. Vance (Take A Chance --- Brother Cane)

#3974.  James (Games --- Ryan Adams)

#3975.  James (Games --- The Strokes)

#3976.  John James Is Boneless (Who Claims The Soulless --- Danzig)

#3977.  Mike Mazzei (Stir Crazy --- Unlike Pluto)

#3978.  Bruce Blakeman (Awaken --- Big Wild)

#3979.  Oberacker (Jacob's Ladder --- Bruce Springsteen)

#3980.  Kennedy (Jealousy --- Spoon)

#3981.  Steiner (Miner --- Kara's Flowers)

#3982.  Trump Is A Cunt From The Right (Ain't Even Done With The Night --- John Cougar Mellencamp)

#3983.  David Steiner (Granny Diner --- Grizzly Bear)

#3984.  Reflecting Pool (We Rule The School --- Belle & Sebastian)

#3985.  Oberacker (Jacob's Ladder --- Patrick Wolf)

#3986.  Oberacker (Jacob's Ladder --- Anne Murray)

#3987.  Bill Pulte (Bird Of Prey --- The Doors)

#3988.  Bill Pulte (Bird of Prey --- Army Of Lovers)

#3989.  Bill Pulte (New Year's Day --- U2)

#3990.  Steiner (Miner --- Kara's Flowers)

#3991.  Keep On Rowing (Keep on Growing --- Grateful Dead)

#3992.  Crank (Blank --- Smashing Pumpkins)

#3993.  John James (Head Games --- Foreigner)

#3994.  David Steiner (All Night Diner --- Taylor Swift)

#3995.  Downing (Drowning --- Stereophonics)

#3996.  The Immaculate Concussion (The Immaculate Rejection --- sonofsaf)

Please do not share this material with those who've experienced Havana Syndrome and/or President Donald J. Trump.

 

#3995. Downing

When politicians and reporters insinuate that President Donald Trump is a clown, there's one Congressman who always cums to the defense of the Orange Prolapse.  And his name is Troy Downing (R-MT).

He even has a pre-programmed slogan to help get his point across.  

"There will be no clowning... with Troy Downing." 

 

 

Downing
sonofsaf

Job to blow dry
Job to blow his work song
Shitshow
His MAGA pornography 
Lake Tahoe toiletry
Big Mac meal

Stop the steal
Stop the steal, why’s his asshole sore

Stormy’s on her knees
His mushroom’s so tiny
And lousy
Motorboatin’ Triple D.’s
In Washington, D.C.
Big Mac meal

Stop the steal
Stop the steal
Why’s his asshole sore
Why’s his asshole sore

Slime from pink kings
Which is sold and bought
Like Kushner chutzpah

Adultery
A Lake Tahoe blow job
Shitshow

Trump dumpin’ attack for Santa Claus
Critical race and so much more 
Retard fucks you, syndrome of down
Filet ‘O Fishin’, McDonald’s Quarter Pound

The Donald’s a whore
Viagra’s pretend
His cock is softcore
Trump is wearing Depends
The clown brings disease
A job to blow for the homeland of Kristi Lynn Noem 
Troy Downing
Troy Downing
Troy Downing
Troy Downing

 

Drowning
Stereophonics

I don't know why
I don't know what is wrong
Oh no
Is karma gonna get me?
At times that's all I see
It's not real

Wanna feel
Wanna feel, like I did before

Mornings I can't breathe
Wave crashes over me
And drowns me
Mind's running rings around me
It takes me time to see
What is real?

Wanna feel
Wanna feel
Like I did before
Like I did before

Time changes things
Like I never thought
Like I never saw?

Time changes me
I'm like I never was
Oh no

Been turning it back to what I was
I've seen my face right on the floor
And I love you, being around
I say it again, I'm not fucking around

I've seen in before
I'll see it again
It's knocking my door
And it never pretends
I'm down on my knees
And I don't know where to go to find my way back home

I'm drowning
I'm drowning
I'm drowning
I'm drowning

 

Sterophonics played the Burgh twice.  Once at the Benedum in 2004.  The other time at Mr. Small's in 2008.  Never seen 'em.

The Big Lie 100:

#3952.  Stormy D. (Valerie --- Steve Winwood)

#3953.  Stormy D. (Stand By Me --- Ben E. King)

#3954.  Delaney Hall (Once And For All --- Hell Is For Heroes)

#3955.  Bari Weiss (Edelweiss --- The Sound Of Music)

#3956.  Bari Weiss (Pay The Price --- Twisted Sister)

#3957.  Wes Climer (Tree Climber --- Stellar Kart)

#3958.  Donald Is Very Gay (Drivin' My Life Away --- Eddie Rabbit)

#3959.  Carrie Buck (What The Fuck --- Bill Wurtz)

#3960.  The Donald's Big Lie (No Woman, No Cry --- Bob Marley)

#3961.  Glassman (Madman --- Crippled Black Phoenix)

#3962.  Glassman (Madman --- Silverchair)

#3963.  Hern (Learn --- Ari Hest)

#3964.  Trump Derangement Syndrome (Fading Kitten Syndrome --- ROAR) 

#3965.  John Wahl (The Wall --- Alok & Sevenn)

#3966.  Jackson (Jackson --- Dave Barnes)

#3967.  Jackson (Jackson --- Lucinda Williams)

#3968.  John Wahl (The Wall --- Willie Nelson)

#3969.  Celeste Maloy (Helen Of Troy --- Orchestral Manoeuvres In The Dark)

#3970.  Rick Jackson (To Jackson --- The Cribs)

#3971.  Reflecting Pool (Too Cool For School --- Fountains Of Wayne)

#3972.  J.D. Vance (Capri Pants --- Bikini Kill)

#3973.  J.D. Vance (Take A Chance --- Brother Cane)

#3974.  James (Games --- Ryan Adams)

#3975.  James (Games --- The Strokes)

#3976.  John James Is Boneless (Who Claims The Soulless --- Danzig)

#3977.  Mike Mazzei (Stir Crazy --- Unlike Pluto)

#3978.  Bruce Blakeman (Awaken --- Big Wild)

#3979.  Oberacker (Jacob's Ladder --- Bruce Springsteen)

#3980.  Kennedy (Jealousy --- Spoon)

#3981.  Steiner (Miner --- Kara's Flowers)

#3982.  Trump Is A Cunt From The Right (Ain't Even Done With The Night --- John Cougar Mellencamp)

#3983.  David Steiner (Granny Diner --- Grizzly Bear)

#3984.  Reflecting Pool (We Rule The School --- Belle & Sebastian)

#3985.  Oberacker (Jacob's Ladder --- Patrick Wolf)

#3986.  Oberacker (Jacob's Ladder --- Anne Murray)

#3987.  Bill Pulte (Bird Of Prey --- The Doors)

#3988.  Bill Pulte (Bird of Prey --- Army Of Lovers)

#3989.  Bill Pulte (New Year's Day --- U2)

#3990.  Steiner (Miner --- Kara's Flowers)

#3991.  Keep On Rowing (Keep on Growing --- Grateful Dead)

#3992.  Crank (Blank --- Smashing Pumpkins)

#3993.  John James (Head Games --- Foreigner)

#3994.  David Steiner (All Night Diner --- Taylor Swift)

#3995.  Downing (Drowning --- Stereophonics)

Please do not share this material with Troy Downing and/or President Donald J. Trump.