#4031. Mitch McConnell

Breaking News: Senator Mitch McConnell confirms he is alive. 

I'll believe it.  But only when I see and hear him do a karaoke version of Pearl Jam's "Alive" from his rehab bed.  "Ohhh, I'm still alive."

 

Naturally, I have mixed emotions about the state of Mitch's existence.  Butt I'd like to zoom in and take a closer look. 

 

You know... to see how he's doing.

Why do I get the feeling that Trump might soon be posting about his death?

There's actually polymarket and Kalshi opportunities to place a futures bet on if/when Mitch passes away, Trump will reference him on his Truth Social as the "Old Crow." 

For example, THE OLD CROW IS DEAD!

I wouldn't be terribly surprised.  After all, wasn't it the Orange Prolapse who posted the following back in March?

“Robert Mueller just died. Good, I'm glad he's dead."

Just something to keep an eye on.

 

 

Mitch McConnell
sonofsaf

A tiny erection is a mushroom crime
Small hard on, of sin, that’s always outta line
Tits fake you bet, shake inbred
Deadly trailer park trash debt
Old Crow Mitch McConnell’s farty, Old Crow’s farty and oh so white

Stormy Daniels wet dreamin’ (in) Lake Tahoe at it again
Pornographic rebel with a coup d’etat plan
Piece of shit
Orange not white yinz Trumpin’ ’n’ Dumpin’
Drink Bud Light
Anheuser Busch, Bud Light

Crap and pure scum
So gay, such a clown
Donald’s romance Big Mac and a Quarter Pound
Tits fake you bet, shake inbred
Deadly trailer park trash debt
Old Crow Mitch McConnell’s farty, Old Crow’s farty and oh so white
(Old Crow Mitch McConnell’s farty, Old Crow’s farty and oh)
Hell, Old Crow Mitch McConnell’s farty, Old Crow’s farty and oh
So white

 

Horizontal
All

I'm tired of being lonely all the time
Said c'mon, dive in, the water's warm and fine
Let's shake and sweat, break the bed
Ready on your mark get set
It's a horizontal party, it's a party for two tonight

They're gonna hear the screamin' from Tokyo to Berlin
She's got a tight schedule but I think that she can
Fit me in
Day and night from A.M. to P.M.
It's alright
When she says when, alright

Top or bottom
Sideways, upside down
Let's do the dance that makes the world go 'round
Let's shake and sweat, break the bed
Ready on your mark get set
It's a horizontal party, it's a party for two tonight
(It's a horizontal party, it's a party for two)
Well, it's a horizontal party, it's a party for two
Tonight

All used to play the Burgh ALL the time.  According to AI, the band punked the Burgh a grand total of 6 times from 1988 to 1999.  Never saw 'em.

The Big Lie 100:

#3952.  Stormy D. (Valerie --- Steve Winwood)

#3953.  Stormy D. (Stand By Me --- Ben E. King)

#3954.  Delaney Hall (Once And For All --- Hell Is For Heroes)

#3955.  Bari Weiss (Edelweiss --- The Sound Of Music)

#3956.  Bari Weiss (Pay The Price --- Twisted Sister)

#3957.  Wes Climer (Tree Climber --- Stellar Kart)

#3958.  Donald Is Very Gay (Drivin' My Life Away --- Eddie Rabbit)

#3959.  Carrie Buck (What The Fuck --- Bill Wurtz)

#3960.  The Donald's Big Lie (No Woman, No Cry --- Bob Marley)

#3961.  Glassman (Madman --- Crippled Black Phoenix)

#3962.  Glassman (Madman --- Silverchair)

#3963.  Hern (Learn --- Ari Hest)

#3964.  Trump Derangement Syndrome (Fading Kitten Syndrome --- ROAR) 

#3965.  John Wahl (The Wall --- Alok & Sevenn)

#3966.  Jackson (Jackson --- Dave Barnes)

#3967.  Jackson (Jackson --- Lucinda Williams)

#3968.  John Wahl (The Wall --- Willie Nelson)

#3969.  Celeste Maloy (Helen Of Troy --- Orchestral Manoeuvres In The Dark)

#3970.  Rick Jackson (To Jackson --- The Cribs)

#3971.  Reflecting Pool (Too Cool For School --- Fountains Of Wayne)

#3972.  J.D. Vance (Capri Pants --- Bikini Kill)

#3973.  J.D. Vance (Take A Chance --- Brother Cane)

#3974.  James (Games --- Ryan Adams)

#3975.  James (Games --- The Strokes)

#3976.  John James Is Boneless (Who Claims The Soulless --- Danzig)

#3977.  Mike Mazzei (Stir Crazy --- Unlike Pluto)

#3978.  Bruce Blakeman (Awaken --- Big Wild)

#3979.  Oberacker (Jacob's Ladder --- Bruce Springsteen)

#3980.  Kennedy (Jealousy --- Spoon)

#3981.  Steiner (Miner --- Kara's Flowers)

#3982.  Trump Is A Cunt From The Right (Ain't Even Done With The Night --- John Cougar Mellencamp)

#3983.  David Steiner (Granny Diner --- Grizzly Bear)

#3984.  Reflecting Pool (We Rule The School --- Belle & Sebastian)

#3985.  Oberacker (Jacob's Ladder --- Patrick Wolf)

#3986.  Oberacker (Jacob's Ladder --- Anne Murray)

#3987.  Bill Pulte (Bird Of Prey --- The Doors)

#3988.  Bill Pulte (Bird of Prey --- Army Of Lovers)

#3989.  Bill Pulte (New Year's Day --- U2)

#3990.  Steiner (Miner --- Kara's Flowers)

#3991.  Keep On Rowing (Keep on Growing --- Grateful Dead)

#3992.  Crank (Blank --- Smashing Pumpkins)

#3993.  John James (Head Games --- Foreigner)

#3994.  David Steiner (All Night Diner --- Taylor Swift)

#3995.  Downing (Drowning --- Stereophonics)

#3996.  The Immaculate Concussion (The Immaculate Rejection --- sonofsaf)

#3997.  Mitch (Bitch --- The Vaselines)

#3998.  Mitch (Bitch --- Stephen Lynch)

#3999.  Mitch (Bitch --- Yeah Yeah Yeahs)

#4000.  Tayvis (Save Us --- King's X)

#4001.  Sacrifice (Vincent Price --- Deep Purple)

#4002.  Save America Act (As A Matter Of Fact --- Babyface)

#4003.  Tiny Mushroom Trump Accounts (A Collection Of Accounts --- Superchunk)

#4004.  Trump Accounts (Shake Break Bounce --- The Chemical Brothers)

#4005.  Trump's Sacrifice (My Sacrifice --- Creed)

#4006.  Graham Platner (deli platter --- Johnny Utah)

#4007.  Shotwell (Bombshell --- Operation Ivy)

#4008.  The MAGA Meltdown (The Final Countdown --- Europe)

#4009.  Shotwell (Unwell --- Surf Curse)

#4010.  Lindsey Graham (Heather Graham --- Da Vinci's Notebook)

#4011.  Freedom Fuel (Rocket Fuel --- Alvin Lee)

#4012.  Mitch McConnell (Horizontal --- Bee Gees)

#4013.  Nancy Mace (Face To Face --- David Allan Coe)

#4014.  Darline (Darlene --- The Lumineers)

#4015.  Mike Lindell (NFL --- sonofsaf)

#4016.  Governor Stitt (Lickety Split --- Spiderbait)

#4017.  Hegseth (Deep Breath --- 32 Leaves)

#4018.  Pete Hegseth (The Black Death --- Something Rotten Broadway Musical)

#4019.  TNT (T.N.T. --- AC/DC)

#4020.  Orange Prolapse Fart (Kickstart My Heart --- Motley Crue)

#4021.  Big Lie Coup D'etat Was Wild (If I Ever Was A Child --- Wilco)

#4022.  Pickaxe Mountain (Sugar Mountain --- Neil Young)

#4023.  Governor Stitt (Lickety Split --- Devandra Banhart)

#4024.  Andy Biggs (Truffle Pigs ---  Matthew Goodman Band)

#4025.  Hegseth (Deep Breath --- The Sound)

#4026.  Andy Biggs (Blinking Pigs --- Little Dragon)

#4027.  Andy S. Biggs (We Are The Pigs --- Suede)

#4028.  Donald Trump's Blowing (Where Are You Going --- Dave Matthews Band)

#4029.  Kolodin (Violin --- They Might Be Giants)

#4030.  Hegseth (Til Death --- Christopher Sieber & Megan Hilty)

#4031.  Mitch McConnell (Horizontal --- All)

 

Please do not share this material with Mitch McConnell and/or President Donald J. Trump.

#4030. Hegseth

Department of War Secretary Pete Hegseth...

is obsessed with patriotic masculinity.

This particular Trump Dump makes Robert Comey's seashells look like a kindergarten bake sale.

Let's give Pete "Anal" Hegbreath an Orange Prolapse Trophy.

 Well deserved!  Such heroism in the face of unmitigated estrogen.

 

 

Hegseth
sonofsaf

[Donald:]
A cheating American
Stormy Daniels ain’t his wife
G.O.P. always flatters
McDonald’s Big Mac platters
Shit, that clown’s a real low-life

[Stormy D:]
BeBest

[Donald:]
Hegseth

Premature ejaculation’s quicker when it’s cuming in you
Toilet shit is golden with a fuckin’ job to suckin’ blow
Forty-seven’s ass gonna stink butt still we gotta thank, T!
And his ass hole’s gonna blink for (a) colonoscopy drank: P!

What a fuckin’ blunder pro-life voices from an aborted screw 
Clown ain’t a king who tossed salad for a fecal thrill
Butt Ivanka’s a Jew whose ass just might smell
Euro-wife is outta Slovenian hell
Insurrection crime and thrill
Hegseth

 

Til Death
Christopher Sieber & Megan Hilty

From the Death Becomes Her (Original Broadway Cast Recording soundtrack)

[ERNEST:]
You meet the perfect woman
And you build the perfect life
And even when that shatters
The only thing that matters
Is, you vowed she'll be your wife

[MADELINE:]
Ernest!

[ERNEST:]
'Till death

Have you ever felt a little flicker of regret inside you?
Isn't it amazing how that flicker of regret can grow?
So you pour yourself a drink until your brain goes blank, whee!
That way you don't have to think about who you have to thank: me!

Isn't it a wonder how the choices that you make can haunt you?
How everything you lost was the cost of your free will?
And it only took you 10 long years to tell
That this life you chose is truly worse than hell
Now there's only time to kill
'Till death

There are no words.  Never seen this play.  

The Big Lie 100:

#3952.  Stormy D. (Valerie --- Steve Winwood)

#3953.  Stormy D. (Stand By Me --- Ben E. King)

#3954.  Delaney Hall (Once And For All --- Hell Is For Heroes)

#3955.  Bari Weiss (Edelweiss --- The Sound Of Music)

#3956.  Bari Weiss (Pay The Price --- Twisted Sister)

#3957.  Wes Climer (Tree Climber --- Stellar Kart)

#3958.  Donald Is Very Gay (Drivin' My Life Away --- Eddie Rabbit)

#3959.  Carrie Buck (What The Fuck --- Bill Wurtz)

#3960.  The Donald's Big Lie (No Woman, No Cry --- Bob Marley)

#3961.  Glassman (Madman --- Crippled Black Phoenix)

#3962.  Glassman (Madman --- Silverchair)

#3963.  Hern (Learn --- Ari Hest)

#3964.  Trump Derangement Syndrome (Fading Kitten Syndrome --- ROAR) 

#3965.  John Wahl (The Wall --- Alok & Sevenn)

#3966.  Jackson (Jackson --- Dave Barnes)

#3967.  Jackson (Jackson --- Lucinda Williams)

#3968.  John Wahl (The Wall --- Willie Nelson)

#3969.  Celeste Maloy (Helen Of Troy --- Orchestral Manoeuvres In The Dark)

#3970.  Rick Jackson (To Jackson --- The Cribs)

#3971.  Reflecting Pool (Too Cool For School --- Fountains Of Wayne)

#3972.  J.D. Vance (Capri Pants --- Bikini Kill)

#3973.  J.D. Vance (Take A Chance --- Brother Cane)

#3974.  James (Games --- Ryan Adams)

#3975.  James (Games --- The Strokes)

#3976.  John James Is Boneless (Who Claims The Soulless --- Danzig)

#3977.  Mike Mazzei (Stir Crazy --- Unlike Pluto)

#3978.  Bruce Blakeman (Awaken --- Big Wild)

#3979.  Oberacker (Jacob's Ladder --- Bruce Springsteen)

#3980.  Kennedy (Jealousy --- Spoon)

#3981.  Steiner (Miner --- Kara's Flowers)

#3982.  Trump Is A Cunt From The Right (Ain't Even Done With The Night --- John Cougar Mellencamp)

#3983.  David Steiner (Granny Diner --- Grizzly Bear)

#3984.  Reflecting Pool (We Rule The School --- Belle & Sebastian)

#3985.  Oberacker (Jacob's Ladder --- Patrick Wolf)

#3986.  Oberacker (Jacob's Ladder --- Anne Murray)

#3987.  Bill Pulte (Bird Of Prey --- The Doors)

#3988.  Bill Pulte (Bird of Prey --- Army Of Lovers)

#3989.  Bill Pulte (New Year's Day --- U2)

#3990.  Steiner (Miner --- Kara's Flowers)

#3991.  Keep On Rowing (Keep on Growing --- Grateful Dead)

#3992.  Crank (Blank --- Smashing Pumpkins)

#3993.  John James (Head Games --- Foreigner)

#3994.  David Steiner (All Night Diner --- Taylor Swift)

#3995.  Downing (Drowning --- Stereophonics)

#3996.  The Immaculate Concussion (The Immaculate Rejection --- sonofsaf)

#3997.  Mitch (Bitch --- The Vaselines)

#3998.  Mitch (Bitch --- Stephen Lynch)

#3999.  Mitch (Bitch --- Yeah Yeah Yeahs)

#4000.  Tayvis (Save Us --- King's X)

#4001.  Sacrifice (Vincent Price --- Deep Purple)

#4002.  Save America Act (As A Matter Of Fact --- Babyface)

#4003.  Tiny Mushroom Trump Accounts (A Collection Of Accounts --- Superchunk)

#4004.  Trump Accounts (Shake Break Bounce --- The Chemical Brothers)

#4005.  Trump's Sacrifice (My Sacrifice --- Creed)

#4006.  Graham Platner (deli platter --- Johnny Utah)

#4007.  Shotwell (Bombshell --- Operation Ivy)

#4008.  The MAGA Meltdown (The Final Countdown --- Europe)

#4009.  Shotwell (Unwell --- Surf Curse)

#4010.  Lindsey Graham (Heather Graham --- Da Vinci's Notebook)

#4011.  Freedom Fuel (Rocket Fuel --- Alvin Lee)

#4012.  Mitch McConnell (Horizontal --- Bee Gees)

#4013.  Nancy Mace (Face To Face --- David Allan Coe)

#4014.  Darline (Darlene --- The Lumineers)

#4015.  Mike Lindell (NFL --- sonofsaf)

#4016.  Governor Stitt (Lickety Split --- Spiderbait)

#4017.  Hegseth (Deep Breath --- 32 Leaves)

#4018.  Pete Hegseth (The Black Death --- Something Rotten Broadway Musical)

#4019.  TNT (T.N.T. --- AC/DC)

#4020.  Orange Prolapse Fart (Kickstart My Heart --- Motley Crue)

#4021.  Big Lie Coup D'etat Was Wild (If I Ever Was A Child --- Wilco)

#4022.  Pickaxe Mountain (Sugar Mountain --- Neil Young)

#4023.  Governor Stitt (Lickety Split --- Devandra Banhart)

#4024.  Andy Biggs (Truffle Pigs ---  Matthew Goodman Band)

#4025.  Hegseth (Deep Breath --- The Sound)

#4026.  Andy Biggs (Blinking Pigs --- Little Dragon)

#4027.  Andy S. Biggs (We Are The Pigs --- Suede)

#4028.  Donald Trump's Blowing (Where Are You Going --- Dave Matthews Band)

#4029.  Kolodin (Violin --- They Might Be Giants)

#4030.  Hegseth (Til Death --- Christopher Sieber & Megan Hilty)

Please do not share this material with Pete Hegseth and/or President Donald J. Trump