Wednesday, September 22, 2021

#707. Reynolds' Crap

Kim Reynolds is Iowa's Republican Governor.  What a glorious honor it must be to preside over the bible belt, meth-head farmers of the heartland.  Me so corny!

Just yesterday, I got one of those RNC spam emails begging for money.

Eric,

Chairman McDaniel and I agree - it’s time to get our children back to school! So I was thrilled to join the Chairman on her “Real America” podcast to discuss just how Republican leadership is keeping our schools open, banning Critical Race Theory, and working to create a bright future for our children with an economy of unlimited opportunity for all.

While Joe Biden and Democrat Governors across the country continue to placate liberal teacher unions by embracing mask mandates and radical Critical Race Theory indoctrination - Republicans will continue to prioritize our children, their learning, and getting them safely back in the classroom.

It is up to Republican Leadership to continue to defend the liberties and rights of every American citizen and safeguard the protections of our United States Constitution. Chairman McDaniel and I discuss just this in today’s episode.
 
We as Americans must continue to stand up for our freedoms -- we have all witnessed how quickly the Radical Left has attempted to strip them away.

So, I hope you’ll enjoy my and the Chairman’s conversation and I sincerely hope it will encourage you to join the dialogue as we work to preserve our nation for future generations.

Thank you,

Kim Reynolds
Iowa Governor


 

Notice how Kimmy refers to her as "Chairman" and not "Chairwoman."  Hey, most Midwest Republicans would be outraged by the blatant gender political correctness compliance.  I suppose it could be worse.  She could be calling her "Ronna" amidst a Covid spike.  Does anyone see the irony of a woman actually named Ronna overseeing the Republican counter-narrative during a health pandemic?

Anyway, as expected, Reynolds is predictably leaning into the Critical Race Theory nonsense.

Considering Iowa's ethnic breakdown, it'll probably work in her favor.

Iowa = 3% Hispanic, 3% Black, 2% Asian, 2% misc.... and 90% homeland honky.



Reynold’s Crap
Critical Race is Shit


Reynold’s Wrap

It’s the Way You Do It


I must concede, listening to those two female followers of the Orange Prolapse... well it does give me this strange urge to use tin foil.  Hmm, using tin foil.  Er, uh.  I meant chewing tin foil.   

Please do not share this material with Governor Kim Reynolds (R-IA) and/or RNC Chair-subhuman Ronna McDaniel.


Tuesday, September 21, 2021

#706. Shma-Shmortion

If I was a pro-choice Democratic strategist taking aim at the absurdly draconian, newly enacted abortion law in the state of Texas, here's what I would do.  

First, let's face the crux of the issue.  Regardless of your feelings about abortion, the notion that anyone, anywhere in the country instantly has the legal standing to sue anyone in the state of Texas who "assists" a woman with obtaining an abortion...  well, that's beyond the brink of insanity.  And who proposed the rape and incest clause exemptions?  And who the fuck came up with the arbitrary amount of 10K?  In the name of Mitt Romney!  

But hey, that's Governor Greg Abbott and his merry band of politicians.  Everybody smile!

Anyone see a similarity here?  Oh wait a second.  There's that one black woman in the lower right corner.  Kinda surprised they didn't get her to sit on Abbott's "wheelchair lap."  Front and center.  You know, gotta support the team

So the media has already exposed the Uber/Lyft angle of corporate management pledging to stand behind their drivers and cover any hypothetical legal bills for "helping" a woman with her celebratory journey to an abortion clinic.   Well I say, if Abbott and the Republicans want it... let them have it.  Let's elevate this concept and turn it all into a contentious litmus test.

Okay.  Texas has a ton of major international airports.  Houston, Dallas/Ft. Worth, San Antonio, El Paso, fuckin' Lubbock, whatever.  Find a veteran "Sully-like" airplane pilot who routinely flies into one of the hubs.  And have him make the following statement on live television... "In compliance with the newly enacted, Republican-inspired state law... before boarding my airplane, it will be necessary to provide a negative pregnancy test for ALL female passengers over the age of 13.  For those aged 11-13, I'd be willing to reluctantly accept a verbal statement that they have not yet started their menstrual cycle.  I don't wish to make my female passengers uncomfortable, but the Republican designated law is paramount."

It's all born out of the liability and culpability... that a female passenger might be pregnant and could hypothetically be seeking an out-of-state abortion.

Considering the current climate of "air rage" and "mask resistance"... call me crazy, but I seriously doubt this would go over well with the general population of reasonable human beings.  

If asked about it, simply reply, "Well, I'm just trying to do my job and uphold the law. What would you suggest I do?  Hey, state and regional elections have consequences.  Uh, this is what usually happens when you elect right wing lunatics who are unfit to hold office.  There's a good chance they'll try to implement extremist legislation."



 

 
Shma-Shmortion
sonofsaf


Shma-Shmortion
Jonah Hill (from the movie Knocked Up)


Herewith, when referencing the current Texas Governor Greg Abbott, I would humbly ask reporters to refer to him as "Shmeg "Shma-Shmortion" Shabbott."  The Shmegma Variant!

Loved Knocked Up.  Kinda fizzled near the end.  But all things considered, that was some funny shit.

Please do not share this material with Governor Greg Abbott (R-TX) and/or any Republican politicians throughout the "late" state of Texas.  Period.


#705. Max Miller

Former Ohio State football player and current Congressman Anthony Gonzalez (R-OH) has opted to retire. 

Just for the record, Gonzalez voted in favor of Trump's second impeachment.  So naturally, it raised the ire and relative circumference of the Orange Prolapse.

But it does beg the question, if this rhino baldo is too scared to seek reelection, well, where the hell does that leave us?

The answer being... likely in the capable hands of Trump lapdog Max Miller.


An eager Max Miller mentally readies himself for a random blow job in hometown MAGA country.  Trump looks on and thinks to himself... "Cleveland suburbs.  Good boy."

 

Max Miller
sonofsaf

He is full of bullshit
Horrible wet dream
Political coat hanger
Abortion know what I mean

Like a Trumpy mobster
Total fucking liar
Praise to the Orange Prolapse don’t ask why

He is the Max Miller
Ohio’s Max Miller

Very overrated
Bastard if you please
The time is right to demonize
Make Dems drink antifreeze

The China Virus blunder
Covid fucked up deal
Insurrection helps us stop the steal

He is the Max Miller
Ohio’s Max Miller

He’s still full of fucking bullshit
Hates Mexicans and Islam
Congressional honor don’t meddle
Whiter people love their guns

ICE will try to capture
Situation’s grave
Waiting for the rapture
Jesus Christ is gonna save

The Proud Boys were rebellious
Saw it on TV live
Let’s fuck the Democrats and demonize

He is the Max Miller
Ohio’s Max Miller
Big Mac meal Max Miller
Happy meal Mace Miller

He is the Max Miller
Ohio’s Max Miller
He is the Max Miller
Ohio’s Max Miller

Max! Max!
Miller! Miller!
Max! Max!
Miller! Miller!

Please stop the Max Miller!
Max!

 

Painkiller
Judas Priest

Faster than a bullet
Terrifying scream
Enraged and full of anger
He's half man and half machine

Rides the Metal Monster
Breathing smoke and fire
Closing in with vengeance soaring high

He is the Painkiller
This is the Painkiller

Planets devastated
Mankind's on its knees
A saviour comes from out the skies
In answer to their pleas

Through boiling clouds of thunder
Blasting bolts of steel
Evils going under deadly wheels

He is the Painkiller
This is the Painkiller

Faster than a laser bullet
Louder than an atom bomb
Chromium plated boiling metal
Brighter than a thousand suns

Flying high on rapture
Stronger free and brave
Nevermore en-captured
They've been brought back from the grave

With mankind resurrected
Forever to survive
Returns from Armageddon to the skies

He is the Painkiller
This is the Painkiller
Wings of steel Painkiller
Deadly wheels Painkiller

He is the Painkiller
This is the Painkiller
He is the Painkiller
This is the Painkiller

Pain! Pain!
Killer! Killer!
Pain! Pain!
Killer! Killer!

Can't stop the Painkiller!
Pain!



 


 

Judas Priest:

8-28-04, Post-Gazette Pavilion, Burgettstown, PA

9-17-21, Covelli Centre, Youngstown, OH

So I caught the 50th Judas Priest Anniversary tour last week in Youngstown.  Which incidentally borders the Gonzalez congressional district.  Zipped up solo.  Great show.  Tailgating scene was borderline pathetic.  But then again it's Ohio.  They closed the set with Painkiller.   To be totally frank, I think I could've conceived of a better commemorative set list.  Definitely would have included Riding on the Wind.  Why do they never play Love Bites or Heavy Duty?  Maybe Green Manalishi or Diamonds and Rust.  Eliminate some of the newer material.   

Please do not share this material with former President Donald J. Trump and/or Ohio Congressional candidate Max Miller.


Monday, September 20, 2021

#704. Asshole Noem

 


Constructed in 1964, the Houston Astrodome was once hailed as the 8th Wonder of the World.  Even though it currently sits vacant in the shadow of NRG Stadium, it's still considered an iconic landmark.  Thus it cannot be legally razed.  Cue the futility of the parking gods.

Now the state of South Dakota is far removed from the 4th largest city in the country, but here's my idea.  Okay, everyone knows that Mount Rushmore is one of the 7 Wonders of the World.  Right?  Well, not really.  But in the era of the Orange Prolapse, you just say it is.  And repeat it over and over.  Until you accept the nonsensical lie.  Basically until the ad nauseum aspect makes you physically nauseous.  It's called revisionist history.

So anyhoo, here's my idea.  Herewith, whenever someone references South Dakota Governor Kristi Noem, they shalt wondrously and gazingly address her as "Asshole Noem."  A fitting tribute to her superstar status in the GOP.

 

Asshole Noem
sonofsaf


Astrodome

Former Houston mayor Roy Hofheinz


For she is the 9th Wonder of the GOP.  

I'm not sure which hypothetical scenario leaves me more palpably ill.  

Pence & Noem?  Pompeo & Noem?  Cruz & Noem?  Covid & Noem?  

God help us.


Governor Kristi Noem:

Noem Sweet Noem: (Motley Crue --- Home Sweet Home)

Cumming Noem: (Scorpions --- Coming Home)

Sweet Noem South Dakota: (Lynyrd Skynyrd --- Sweet Home Alabama)

Who Says You Can't Blow Noem: (Bon Jovi --- Who Says You Can't Go Home)

Noem: (Daughtry --- Home)

Can't Stand Kristi Noem: (Blind Faith --- Can't Find My Way Home)

Fuck The Leech:  (Jane's Addiction --- Up The Beach)

Welcome Noem Planetarium: (Metallica --- Welcome Home Sanitarium)

Welcome Noem: (King Diamond --- Welcome Noem)

Noem: (Phish --- Foam)

Noem: (Unknown --- universal meditation mantra)

Asshole Noem: (Astrodome --- Houston ex-mayor, Roy Hofheinz)


Please do not share this material with Governor Kristi Noem (R-SD).


#703. Noem

"Om" is is probably the most well known meditation mantra in the world.

When said aloud, Om (or Aum) sounds like a three-part word.  The "A" stands for creation, "U" is manifestation, and "M" is destruction.  It's basically an all-encompassing representation for the entire universe compressed into a single sound.  The union of mind, body, and spirit.

The Christian political equivalent is "Noem" --- a tribute to South Dakota's very own Republican Governor Kristi Noem.


Positions taken by political leaders must "line up with the word of God."

In response to the recent Covid uptick in her state (hospitals beyond capacity, people sick and dying, etc.), Noem is taking concrete action.  She's desperately pushing for prayer in school.  

Hmm, uh yeah.  That'll help.

When you repeatedly chant the word "Noem"... it actually represents the embodiment of all that is Nasty, Obscene, Evil, and Malicious.  Repeat after me.  Noem.



 

Not sure that 3+ hours of "OMing" is absolutely necessary.  But it's a great way to kick off one of those religious prayer breakfasts.  Kinda like a Trump rally.  Show up way too early.  And make a hasty exit while the Orange Prolapse babbles on and on.


Noem Sweet Noem: (Motley Crue --- Home Sweet Home)

Cumming Noem: (Scorpions --- Coming Home)

Sweet Noem South Dakota: (Lynyrd Skynyrd --- Sweet Home Alabama)

Who Says You Can't Blow Noem: (Bon Jovi --- Who Says You Can't Go Home)

Noem: (Daughtry --- Home)

Can't Stand Kristi Noem: (Blind Faith --- Can't Find My Way Home)

Fuck The Leech:  (Jane's Addiction --- Up The Beach)

Welcome Noem Planetarium: (Metallica --- Welcome Home Sanitarium)

Welcome Noem: (King Diamond --- Welcome Noem)

Noem: (Phish --- Foam)

Noem: (Unknown --- universal meditation mantra)

Please do not share this material with my likely Republican VP pick for 2024, Governor Kristi Noem (R-SD).



#702. Ellis Lie

I’m going on record now: If they try to cancel Christianity, if they try to force me to apologize or recant my Faith, I will not bend, I will not waver, I will not break.  On Christ the solid Rock I stand.  And I’m proud to be an American.

Saf, no offense, but that doesn't sound like something you would say.  And you'd be correct.  

It's a pinned tweet from Jenna Ellis, an integral part of the Orange Prolapse's sketchy legal team.


Jenna takes the mic.  Surrounded by a despondent paint face, albino cunt, and pompous fuck.

 


 

 

Ellis Lie
sonofsaf

I’m a lawyer for an ass
Orange Prolapse has lots of gas
Always looking at the polls
Always looking at the polls
Trump’s daughter is now a Jew
Donald is shit we hope he dies
Oh Ivanka Kushner is a Jew
A Jenna Ellis lie

All her thoughts are so impure
She's a demon bitch and a whore
All the bullshit that she tried
All the bullshit that she tried
Trump’s daughter is now a Jew
Donald is shit we hope he dies
Oh Ivanka Kushner is a Jew
A Jenna Ellis lie

[Whistling]

Trump’s daughter is now a Jew
Donald is shit we hope he dies
Oh Ivanka Kushner is a Jew
A Jenna Ellis lie

We are praying that Donald dies
In 2020 so many cried
Trump is filled with great disdain
Trump is filled with great disdain
Trump’s daughter is now a Jew
Donald is shit we hope he dies
Oh Ivanka Kushner is a Jew
A Jenna Ellis lie
Watch out baby a Jenna Ellis lie
Look out baby a Jenna Ellis lie


Jealous Guy
John Lennon

I was dreaming of the past
and my heart was beating fast
I began to lose control
I began to lose control
I didn't mean to hurt you
I'm sorry that I made you cry
Oh my I didn't want to hurt you
I'm just a jealous guy

I was feeling insecure
You might not love me anymore
I was shivering inside
I was shivering inside
Oh I didn't mean to hurt you
I'm sorry that I made you cry
Oh my I didn't want to hurt you
I'm just a jealous guy

[Whistling]

I didn't mean to hurt you
I'm sorry that I made you cry
Oh my I didn't want to hurt you
I'm just a jealous guy

I was trying to catch your eyes
I thought that you were trying to hide
I was swallowing my pain
I was swallowing my pain
I didn't mean to hurt you
I'm sorry that I made you cry
Oh my I didn't want to hurt you
I'm just a jealous guy
watch out baby I'm just a jealous guy
Look out baby I'm just a jealous guy



You gotta wonder why someone would kill John Lennon.  Out of everyone out there, why him?  Turns out that Mark David Chapman was seeking instant celebrity status.  He just wanted to be famous.  Hey, maybe that asshole was merely ahead of his time.  His particular crime, shooting Lennon in the back 4 times, seems better suited for 2020... and beyond.


The Big Lie 100: (#72)

#390.  Big Lie (Free Ride --- Edgar Winter)

#487.  Donald's Big Lie (Mr. Blue Sky --- E.L.O.)

#495.  American Lie (American Pie --- Don McLean)

#520.  The Big Lie (When Doves Cry --- Prince)

#530.  Big Lie (High Time --- Grateful Dead)

#545.  Big Lie (Goodbye --- Night Ranger)

#548.  Trump World's, Big Lie (Big Girls, Don't Cry --- Frankie Valli & The Four Seasons)  

#549.  All A Big Lie (Live And Let Die --- Paul McCartney)

#550.  Would Trump Lie To You (Would I Lie To You --- Annie Lennox)

#552.  Big Liar (Big Spender --- Shirley Bassey)
 
#553.  Big Lie (Big Me --- Foo Fighters)

#555.  The Big Lie (Let Her Cry --- Hootie And The Blowfish)

#557.  Big Lie (Big Love --- Fleetwood Mac)

#559.  Big Lies (Big Balls --- AC/DC)

#561.  The Big Lie (Aces High --- Iron Maiden)

#562.  Big Lie Trump Overload (Goodbye Yellow Brick Road --- Elton John)

#563.  Byrne's A Bitch (Burn The Witch --- Radiohead)

#564.  As The World Byrnes (As The World Burns --- Kreator)

#565.  Lie (Cry --- Godley and Creme)

#567.  Byrne In Hell (Burn In Hell --- Twisted Sister) 

#571.  He's A Scrotum The Big Lie (I'm So Lonesome I Could Cry --- Hank Williams)

#594.  Lie Lie You Trumpers (Die Die My Darling --- Metallica)

#595.  To Live Is To Lie (To Live Is To Die --- Metallica) 
 
#596.  Don't Lie (Don't Cry --- Guns'n'Roses)

#597.  Big Lie (Big Time --- Peter Gabriel)

#601.  Lies (Lies --- Thompson Twins)

#602.  Liar (Liar --- Three Dog Night)

#606.  Lie Free-For-All (Fly On The Wall --- AC/DC)

#609.  Big Liar (Big River --- Grateful Dead)

#616.  Jeffrey Clark (Rosa Parks --- OutKast)

#626.  So Great At Big Lies (Too Late For Goodbyes --- Julian Lennon)

#627.  Liar (Liar --- Henry Rollins)

#630.  Lie!  Lie! (Why?!  Why?! --- Nancy Kerrigan)

#632.  Fucked Up Lie (Custard Pie --- Led Zeppelin)

#633.  Tommy (Zombie --- The Cranberries)

#636.  Everybody Blows (Justice League Soundtrack --- Sigrid)

#639.  Orange Clown (Small Town --- John Cougar Mellencamp)

#640.  Be Unforgiving And Never Stop Lying (Shawshank Redemption --- Morgan Freeman / Tim Robbins)

#643.  Stampede (Candide --- Leonard Bernstein)

#651.  It's The Big Lie (Electric Eye --- Judas Priest)

#653.  Who Killed Ashli Babbitt (Who Killed Roger Rabbit --- Robert Zemekis)

#656.  Dush (Hush --- Deep Purple)

#657.  Dush (Plush --- Stone Temple Pilots)

#658.  Gonna Rock The Vote (Evil Little Goat --- Pearl Jam)

#659.  Trump's An Asshole (Get In The Hole --- generic dumbshit golf enthusiast)

#660.  Trump's A Clown (Lay It Down --- Ratt)

#661.  Between The Lies (Between The Eyes --- Ratt)

#663.  Lies Of The World (Eyes Of The World --- Grateful Dead)

#667.  Hole Jim Jordan (Beast of Burden --- Rolling Stones)

#670.  Sean Parnell (Go To Hell --- Alice Cooper)

#671.  Patrick (Magic --- Olivia Newton-John)

#673.  Sidney Implants (Breast Implants --- women w/ fake titties)

#674.  We Abhor Sidney (Eleanor Rigby --- Paul McCartney)

#675.  Trust Us on J6 (Justice for J6 )

#676.  Fuck Lin Wood (Amii Stewart --- Knock On Wood)

#677.  Lincoln Wood (If I Could --- Phish)

#678.  Burt Jones (Them Bones --- Alice in Chains)

#679.  Harriet's A Liar (Chariots of Fire --- Vangelis)

#680.  Trump's A Liar (Light My Fire --- The Doors)

#681.  Liar  (Fire --- Jimi Hendrix)

#682.  Lee (Tea --- King Diamond)

#683.  Fuck You Michael Cloud (Get Off Of My Cloud --- Rolling Stones)

#684.  Disunion Forever (The Union Forever --- Sergeant Richard Pickman)

#688.  Fuck You Lou (Love Me Do --- The Beatles)

#690.  Say No Thanks, 'Cause Trump Is A Crook And... (Ball Park Franks slogan)  

#691.  Barletta Theme Song (Baretta Theme Song --- Sammy Davis Jr.)

#693.  Justice For Gay Pricks (Justice for J-6 --- Matt Braynard)

#694.  Marco... Homo (Marco... Polo --- unknown)

#699.  Kent Is A Woman (Scent Of A Woman --- Seinfeld)

#700.  GOP (Can't You See --- Marshall Tucker Band) 

#701.  So Contradictory, Matt DePerno (Nestle --- It's Not Delivery, It's DiGiorno)

#702.  Ellis Lie (Jealous Guy --- John Lennon)


Please do not share this material with former President Donald J. Trump and his Christian lawyer Jenna Ellis.

 

Sunday, September 19, 2021

#701. So Contradictory, Matt DePerno

Matt DePerno is the hand-picked, nose-picked, parasitic imbecile running for Attorney General in the state of Michigan.  Naturally, he's a major adherent of the big lie.

DePerno prepares his thumb for insertion... into the rectum of the Orange Prolapse.  Trump appears semi-casual, butt, when faced with the prospect of lurid homo-eroticism... all smiles as usual.

Super Lawyer Matthew DePerno is running for Attorney General in the Great State of Michigan. He has defended the Constitution for 20 years, and has been on the front lines pursuing fair and accurate elections, as he relentlessly fights to reveal the truth about the Nov. 3rd Presidential Election Scam.

Dana Nessel, the Radical Left, and the RINOs are targeting Matt because he gets results and has exposed so much Voter Fraud in Antrim County, and many more places, in the 2020 Election. He will never give up, and that’s why they absolutely cannot stand him!

Matt will properly enforce the laws for everyone—unlike what the out-of-control Radical Left Prosecutors are doing now. He will always defend our under siege Second Amendment, loves our Military and our Vets, and will restore Law and Order in the face of rampant and record-setting crime in Michigan. Matt DePerno has my Complete and Total Endorsement. He will never let you down!

All of Trump's "official endorsements" have become so ridiculously tiresome and dumb-shittedly hackneyed.  It would be truly comical if someone tried to create them verbatim... before they were even issued.  I think I'd be as good as a candidate as any to pull it off.  But I'd have to brush up on the 2022 Attorney General race in Michigan.  No desire whatsoever.

 


 

So Contradictory, Matt DePerno
sonofsaf

 
It’s Not Delivery, It’s DiGiorno’s.
Nestle marketing department

 

Favorite frozen pizza?   All things considered?  Believe it or not, I'd probably go with Red Baron.  Just add some toppings.  Whatever happened to brocco-flower anyway?  'Twas good shit.  Goo!  In other news, I also appreciate the conceptual presence of cauliflower crust.  Great idea.  Brilliant low-carb creativity.

Favorite local delivery pizza?  In Wheeling, I always had generally positive experiences with the Woodsdale DeFelice "everything pizza."  But I'd always be willing to stuff my face with Elm Grove DiCarlo's.  Although I must say, I don't find Patsy to be a terribly interesting human being.

In Pittsburgh, we're all about Giorgio's on the North Side. 


The Big Lie 100: (#71)

#390.  Big Lie (Free Ride --- Edgar Winter)

#487.  Donald's Big Lie (Mr. Blue Sky --- E.L.O.)

#495.  American Lie (American Pie --- Don McLean)

#520.  The Big Lie (When Doves Cry --- Prince)

#530.  Big Lie (High Time --- Grateful Dead)

#545.  Big Lie (Goodbye --- Night Ranger)

#548.  Trump World's, Big Lie (Big Girls, Don't Cry --- Frankie Valli & The Four Seasons)  

#549.  All A Big Lie (Live And Let Die --- Paul McCartney)

#550.  Would Trump Lie To You (Would I Lie To You --- Annie Lennox)

#552.  Big Liar (Big Spender --- Shirley Bassey)
 
#553.  Big Lie (Big Me --- Foo Fighters)

#555.  The Big Lie (Let Her Cry --- Hootie And The Blowfish)

#557.  Big Lie (Big Love --- Fleetwood Mac)

#559.  Big Lies (Big Balls --- AC/DC)

#561.  The Big Lie (Aces High --- Iron Maiden)

#562.  Big Lie Trump Overload (Goodbye Yellow Brick Road --- Elton John)

#563.  Byrne's A Bitch (Burn The Witch --- Radiohead)

#564.  As The World Byrnes (As The World Burns --- Kreator)

#565.  Lie (Cry --- Godley and Creme)

#567.  Byrne In Hell (Burn In Hell --- Twisted Sister) 

#571.  He's A Scrotum The Big Lie (I'm So Lonesome I Could Cry --- Hank Williams)

#594.  Lie Lie You Trumpers (Die Die My Darling --- Metallica)

#595.  To Live Is To Lie (To Live Is To Die --- Metallica) 
 
#596.  Don't Lie (Don't Cry --- Guns'n'Roses)

#597.  Big Lie (Big Time --- Peter Gabriel)

#601.  Lies (Lies --- Thompson Twins)

#602.  Liar (Liar --- Three Dog Night)

#606.  Lie Free-For-All (Fly On The Wall --- AC/DC)

#609.  Big Liar (Big River --- Grateful Dead)

#616.  Jeffrey Clark (Rosa Parks --- OutKast)

#626.  So Great At Big Lies (Too Late For Goodbyes --- Julian Lennon)

#627.  Liar (Liar --- Henry Rollins)

#630.  Lie!  Lie! (Why?!  Why?! --- Nancy Kerrigan)

#632.  Fucked Up Lie (Custard Pie --- Led Zeppelin)

#633.  Tommy (Zombie --- The Cranberries)

#636.  Everybody Blows (Justice League Soundtrack --- Sigrid)

#639.  Orange Clown (Small Town --- John Cougar Mellencamp)

#640.  Be Unforgiving And Never Stop Lying (Shawshank Redemption --- Morgan Freeman / Tim Robbins)

#643.  Stampede (Candide --- Leonard Bernstein)

#651.  It's The Big Lie (Electric Eye --- Judas Priest)

#653.  Who Killed Ashli Babbitt (Who Killed Roger Rabbit --- Robert Zemekis)

#656.  Dush (Hush --- Deep Purple)

#657.  Dush (Plush --- Stone Temple Pilots)

#658.  Gonna Rock The Vote (Evil Little Goat --- Pearl Jam)

#659.  Trump's An Asshole (Get In The Hole --- generic dumbshit golf enthusiast)

#660.  Trump's A Clown (Lay It Down --- Ratt)

#661.  Between The Lies (Between The Eyes --- Ratt)

#663.  Lies Of The World (Eyes Of The World --- Grateful Dead)

#667.  Hole Jim Jordan (Beast of Burden --- Rolling Stones)

#670.  Sean Parnell (Go To Hell --- Alice Cooper)

#671.  Patrick (Magic --- Olivia Newton-John)

#673.  Sidney Implants (Breast Implants --- women w/ fake titties)

#674.  We Abhor Sidney (Eleanor Rigby --- Paul McCartney)

#675.  Trust Us on J6 (Justice for J6 )

#676.  Fuck Lin Wood (Amii Stewart --- Knock On Wood)

#677.  Lincoln Wood (If I Could --- Phish)

#678.  Burt Jones (Them Bones --- Alice in Chains)

#679.  Harriet's A Liar (Chariots of Fire --- Vangelis)

#680.  Trump's A Liar (Light My Fire --- The Doors)

#681.  Liar  (Fire --- Jimi Hendrix)

#682.  Lee (Tea --- King Diamond)

#683.  Fuck You Michael Cloud (Get Off Of My Cloud --- Rolling Stones)

#684.  Disunion Forever (The Union Forever --- Sergeant Richard Pickman)

#688.  Fuck You Lou (Love Me Do --- The Beatles)

#690.  Say No Thanks, 'Cause Trump Is A Crook And... (Ball Park Franks slogan)  

#691.  Barletta Theme Song (Baretta Theme Song --- Sammy Davis Jr.)

#693.  Justice For Gay Pricks (Justice for J-6 --- Matt Braynard)

#694.  Marco... Homo (Marco... Polo --- unknown)

#699.  Kent Is A Woman (Scent Of A Woman --- Seinfeld)

#700.  GOP (Can't You See --- Marshall Tucker Band)

#701.  So Contradictory, Matt DePerno (Nestle --- It's Not Delivery, It's DiGiorno)

 

Please do not share this material with former President Donald J. Trump and/or Michigan Secretary of State candidate "super lawyer" Matt DePerno (R-MI).


Friday, September 17, 2021

#700. GOP

Ah, numero 700.  Just 300 more to go.  What a journey it has been.  

And it's part of the Big Lie series to boot!  


One of my better parodies if I don't say so myself.


 

GOP
sonofsaf

Trump’s an Orange Prolapse shit stain
Fucked up our nation, Lord
And his wife truly blows
A urinary fountain
Yeah, a yellow fountain
Get off, Ivanka’s job to blow

GOP, whoa, GOP
Fuck poor women, Lord, no abortion for me
Oh, GOP, oh, GOP
Fuck poor women, no abortion for me

Say what can you see
Glory hole in the wall
Anonymous just don’t ask why
Cum’s like gravy, now
Trump’s always wantin’ more
And it’s called the big lie

Oh, GOP, oh, GOP
Fuck poor women, Lord, no abortion for me
Oh, GOP, oh, GOP
Fuck poor women, no abortion for me

He’s Governor Greg Abbot, now
Thinks he is a man
He’s a Donald Trumper hack
Wheelchair ridin’ clown
Stop the steal in Georgia, now
Trump shit stain, coming from his crack

Oh, GOP, oh, GOP
Fuck poor women, Lord, no abortion for me
Oh, GOP, oh, GOP
Fuck poor women, no abortion for me

No, no, no, GOP (oh, consistency of gravy), GOP
Fuck poor women, no abortion for me, no, no, no, no
GOP (he’s a wheelchair ridin’ clown, now), GOP (stop the steal in Georgia, now)
Fuck poor women, no abortion for me (Trump shit stain it’s from his crack)

 

Can’t You See
Marshall Tucker Band

Gonna take me a freight train
Down at the station, Lord
I don't care where it goes
I'm gonna climb a mountain
Yeah, the highest mountain
Jump off, nobody gonna know

Can't you see, whoa, can't you see
What that woman, Lord, she been doin' to me
Oh, can't you see, oh, can't you see
What that woman, she been doin' to me

I'm gonna find me
A hole in the wall
I'm gonna crawl inside and die
'Cause my lady, now
A mean ol' woman, Lord
Never told me goodbye

Oh, can't you see, oh, can't you see
What that woman, Lord, she been doin' to me
Oh, can't you see, oh, can't you see
What that woman, she been doin' to me

I'm gonna buy a ticket, now
As far as I can
Ain't a-never comin' back
Ride me a southbound
All the way to Georgia, now
Till the train, it run out of track

Oh, can't you see, whoa, can't you see
What that woman, Lord, she been doin' to me
Oh, can't you see, whoa, can't you see
What that woman, Lord, she been doin' to me

No, no, no, can't you see (oh, she's such a crazy lady), can't you see
What that woman, she been doin' to me, no, no, no, no
Can't you see (gonna ride me a southbound, now), can't you see (all the way to Georgia, now)
What that woman, she been doin' to me (till the train run out of track)


 


Saf, have you ever seen the Marshall Tucker Band?  Hmm, I honestly don't know.  They may have played a Jambo or slipped into one of those Star Lake country rodeo round ups... and I was either too drunk, totally indifferent, or relatively oblivious.

Never thought much about this song until I saw the scene from Blow starring Johnny Depp.  Great movie.  I'd put it in my top 10 - 20 range along Donnie Brasco.  Love J. Depp.


The Big Lie 100: (#70... coincides rather nicely with parody #700, eh?)

#390.  Big Lie (Free Ride --- Edgar Winter)

#487.  Donald's Big Lie (Mr. Blue Sky --- E.L.O.)

#495.  American Lie (American Pie --- Don McLean)

#520.  The Big Lie (When Doves Cry --- Prince)

#530.  Big Lie (High Time --- Grateful Dead)

#545.  Big Lie (Goodbye --- Night Ranger)

#548.  Trump World's, Big Lie (Big Girls, Don't Cry --- Frankie Valli & The Four Seasons)  

#549.  All A Big Lie (Live And Let Die --- Paul McCartney)

#550.  Would Trump Lie To You (Would I Lie To You --- Annie Lennox)

#552.  Big Liar (Big Spender --- Shirley Bassey)
 
#553.  Big Lie (Big Me --- Foo Fighters)

#555.  The Big Lie (Let Her Cry --- Hootie And The Blowfish)

#557.  Big Lie (Big Love --- Fleetwood Mac)

#559.  Big Lies (Big Balls --- AC/DC)

#561.  The Big Lie (Aces High --- Iron Maiden)

#562.  Big Lie Trump Overload (Goodbye Yellow Brick Road --- Elton John)

#563.  Byrne's A Bitch (Burn The Witch --- Radiohead)

#564.  As The World Byrnes (As The World Burns --- Kreator)

#565.  Lie (Cry --- Godley and Creme)

#567.  Byrne In Hell (Burn In Hell --- Twisted Sister) 

#571.  He's A Scrotum The Big Lie (I'm So Lonesome I Could Cry --- Hank Williams)

#594.  Lie Lie You Trumpers (Die Die My Darling --- Metallica)

#595.  To Live Is To Lie (To Live Is To Die --- Metallica) 
 
#596.  Don't Lie (Don't Cry --- Guns'n'Roses)

#597.  Big Lie (Big Time --- Peter Gabriel)

#601.  Lies (Lies --- Thompson Twins)

#602.  Liar (Liar --- Three Dog Night)

#606.  Lie Free-For-All (Fly On The Wall --- AC/DC)

#609.  Big Liar (Big River --- Grateful Dead)

#616.  Jeffrey Clark (Rosa Parks --- OutKast)

#626.  So Great At Big Lies (Too Late For Goodbyes --- Julian Lennon)

#627.  Liar (Liar --- Henry Rollins)

#630.  Lie!  Lie! (Why?!  Why?! --- Nancy Kerrigan)

#632.  Fucked Up Lie (Custard Pie --- Led Zeppelin)

#633.  Tommy (Zombie --- The Cranberries)

#636.  Everybody Blows (Justice League Soundtrack --- Sigrid)

#639.  Orange Clown (Small Town --- John Cougar Mellencamp)

#640.  Be Unforgiving And Never Stop Lying (Shawshank Redemption --- Morgan Freeman / Tim Robbins)

#643.  Stampede (Candide --- Leonard Bernstein)

#651.  It's The Big Lie (Electric Eye --- Judas Priest)

#653.  Who Killed Ashli Babbitt (Who Killed Roger Rabbit --- Robert Zemekis)

#656.  Dush (Hush --- Deep Purple)

#657.  Dush (Plush --- Stone Temple Pilots)

#658.  Gonna Rock The Vote (Evil Little Goat --- Pearl Jam)

#659.  Trump's An Asshole (Get In The Hole --- generic dumbshit golf enthusiast)

#660.  Trump's A Clown (Lay It Down --- Ratt)

#661.  Between The Lies (Between The Eyes --- Ratt)

#663.  Lies Of The World (Eyes Of The World --- Grateful Dead)

#667.  Hole Jim Jordan (Beast of Burden --- Rolling Stones)

#670.  Sean Parnell (Go To Hell --- Alice Cooper)

#671.  Patrick (Magic --- Olivia Newton-John)

#673.  Sidney Implants (Breast Implants --- women w/ fake titties)

#674.  We Abhor Sidney (Eleanor Rigby --- Paul McCartney)

#675.  Trust Us on J6 (Justice for J6 )

#676.  Fuck Lin Wood (Amii Stewart --- Knock On Wood)

#677.  Lincoln Wood (If I Could --- Phish)

#678.  Burt Jones (Them Bones --- Alice in Chains)

#679.  Harriet's A Liar (Chariots of Fire --- Vangelis)

#680.  Trump's A Liar (Light My Fire --- The Doors)

#681.  Liar  (Fire --- Jimi Hendrix)

#682.  Lee (Tea --- King Diamond)

#683.  Fuck You Michael Cloud (Get Off Of My Cloud --- Rolling Stones)

#684.  Disunion Forever (The Union Forever --- Sergeant Richard Pickman)

#688.  Fuck You Lou (Love Me Do --- The Beatles)

#690.  Say No Thanks, 'Cause Trump Is A Crook And... (Ball Park Franks slogan)  

#691.  Barletta Theme Song (Baretta Theme Song --- Sammy Davis Jr.)

#693.  Justice For Gay Pricks (Justice for J-6 --- Matt Braynard)

#694.  Marco... Homo (Marco... Polo --- unknown)

#699.  Kent Is A Woman (Scent Of A Woman --- Seinfeld)

#700.  GOP (Can't You See --- Marshall Tucker Band)

If I was a high profile individual running for high office in a swing state (Hint: John Fetterman), I would rebrand the term "critical race theory" as "critical rape theory."  It doesn't take a James Carvillesque political strategist to realize that the new Texas abortion law... is a flat-out loser.  I'd also portray Texas Governor Greg Abbott and his Lt. Governor Dan Patrick as crazed imbeciles who think rapists should be allowed to sue their victims for 10K.  

Also, in light of the recent Uber/Lyft narrative, I'd speculate that commercial airline pilots in Dallas, Houston, San Antonio, etc., will soon be required by law, to interrogate all female passengers, and provide physical evidence of a negative pregnancy test before boarding.  Similar to the Covid vaccine passport concept.  After all, airplane pilots could be held liable as well for aiding and abetting a "hypothetical" abortion.  

Who would've thought, that in 2022, the abortion litmus test would resurface (especially with no exceptions for cases of rape and incest)?  Along with the big lie and critical rape theory, my advice to the entire Democratic party... LEAN INTO IT.  Trump magnified the Republican culture war and he lost.  With the exception of maybe West Virginia or Alabama, racism and the overall culture war is a total loser issue.  LEAN INTO IT.

Please do not share this material with former President Donald J. Trump, Ivanka Trump, Governor Greg Abbott (R-TX), any female seeking an abortion in the state of Texas, and/or anyone who identifies with the Grand 'Ol Party.