Banished DHS Secretary Kristi Noem didn't appreciate an atypical social media post from Senator Tina Smith (D-MN).
“Don’t worry buddy, Kristi Noem isn’t around anymore.”
Noem fired back...
"Oh but I am… And I love puppies . You…? … not so much."
So here's what this is really about. Smith is staging the framework for my "Democratic lay-up" issue on immigration ahead of the mid-terms. This wasn't some random social media jab.
Here's the deal. Plenty of immigrants who get detained by ICE live alone. A certain percentage own cats and dogs. Probably about half. When these human beings get abducted and shipped off to out-of-state detention facilities, their pets get left behind... to die an agonizing death via dehydration and starvation. Trust me, ICE doesn't do follow-up wellness checks for pets. And the numbers are real.
So... shout to Tina Smith! You're a credible spokesperson to push this angle.
Woman? Check.
Demeanor & Credibility? Check.
Swing state? Check.
Tina... if you'd like to polish the narrative, gimme a ring. My talking points are a hit-job from hell. We'll knock it out of the park.
First suggestion? Make it personal.
Get John and Gisele involved. Bring them into the equation. Let them "come to the rescue."
Noem Crust
sonofsaf
Noem crust doesn’t stop
Her amateur ICE
Her amateur
Kristi Lynn’s crust
Vaginal Noem crust
Kristi Lynn’s crust
Vaginal Noem crust
Vaginal Noem crust
Porn amateur
Cum shot, cum Noem crust
Her job to blow, the clown shitshow of Noem crust
Her job to blow, the clown shitshow of Noem crust
Her job to blow, the clown shitshow of Noem crust
Dome Rust
Guided By Voices
Dome rust at your top
I thought you were nice
I thought you were
I find your rust
I find your dome rust
I find your rust
I find your dome rust
I find your dome rust
On top you were
Come on, come dome rust
That's how we know, that's how we know our dome rust
That's how we know, that's how we know our dome rust
That's how we know, that's how we know our dome rust
Will the printer ever be resurrected or replaced? I do not know.
From 1994 to the present, Guided by Voices has guided their way through the Burgh a grand total of 12 times. Never seen 'em. At first, I thought they might be a Jesus band. But then I glanced at a setlist from 2016. They opened their show with "Piss Face" at Mr. Small's.
Gnome Top 10:
#1. Noem Sweet Noem: (Motley Crue --- Home Sweet Home)
#242. Cumming Noem: (Scorpions --- Coming Home)
#249. Sweet Noem South Dakota: (Lynyrd Skynyrd --- Sweet Home Alabama)
#301. Welcome Noem Planetarium: (Metallica --- Welcome Home Sanitarium)
#302. Who Says You Can't Blow Noem: (Bon Jovi --- Who Says You Can't Go Home)
#303. Noem: (Daughtry --- Home)
#497. Can't Stand Kristi Noem: (Blind Faith --- Can't Find My Way Home)
#515. Fuck The Leech: (Jane's Addiction --- Up The Beach)
#535. Welcome Noem: (King Diamond --- Welcome Noem)
#536. Noem: (Phish --- Foam)
#703. Noem: (Unknown --- universal meditation mantra)
#704. Asshole Noem: (Astrodome --- Houston ex-mayor, Roy Hofheinz)
#721. I Haunt Kristi Noem (Me Want Honeycomb --- Post Mills marketing dept.)#1009. Noem (Home --- Foo Fighters)
#1319. Kristi Noem's, Cunt Explodes (Take Me Home Country Roads --- John Denver)
#1813. Kristi Noem (Kodachrome --- Paul Simon)
#1816. Kristi Noem (Hell Is Chrome --- Wilco)
#2066. Noem (Roam --- The B-52's)
#2148. Kristi's, A Fucking Gnome (Mama, I'm Coming Home --- Ozzy Osbourne)
#2542. Cricket's Fucked (Lick It Up --- Kiss)
#2544. Cricket Has Died (Ticket To Ride --- The Beatles)
#3008. Kristi Lynn Noem (Autumn In Rome --- Tony Bennett)
#3009. Noem (Rome --- Destroyer)
#3011. Kristi Lynn Noem (Under A Dome --- Of Monsters And Men)
#3016. Kristi Noem (Heart Of Rome --- Elvis Presley)
#3025. Noem Crust (Dome Rust --- Guided By Voiced)
#3046. Noem (Rome --- Yeaslayer)
#3195. Kristi Noem (Stay At Home --- Men At Work)
#3196. Kristi Noem (Palindrome --- Azure Ray)
#3269. Kristi Noem (Welcome Home --- My Morning Jacket)
#3273. Kristi L. Noem (Under A Dome --- Of Monsters And Men)
#3687. Kristi's ICE (The Thin Ice --- Pink Floyd)
#3697. Kristi Noem (Room to Roam --- The Waterboys)
#3698. Kristi Noem (When In Rome --- Psychedelic Porn Crumpets)
#3739. Kristi Noem (When In Rome --- Mudhoney)
#3750. Kristi Noem (Welcome Home --- Vein.fm)
#3751. Kristi Noem (Welcome Home --- Said The Sky)
#3752. Kristi Noem (Welcome Home --- Sponge)
#3754. Noem (Home --- Nine Inch Nails)
#3755. Kristi Noem (Welcome Home --- Michael W. Smith)
#3761. Kristi Noem (Welcome Home --- Dusty Springfield)
#3781. Whore Kristi Lynn Noem (George Isn't At Home --- Seinfeld)
#3790. Kristi Noem (Stay At Home --- Sleep On It)
#3908. Noem Crust (Dome Rust --- Guided By Voices)