#4081. Round River

Congressman Jim Jordan R-OH) is desperately trying to resurrect the "Round River" investigation.  In a nutshell, it's about the previous administration's "total exoneration" of Joe & Hunter Biden and their "corrupt" relationship with Ukraine.

 

In other news, here's a good talking point for Democrats ahead of the mid-terms with regard to immigration and ICE abductions/detentions.

Democrats really do want the government to go after the "worst of the worst."  But the Trump administration, under the leadership of Stephen Miller, is enforcing their arbitrary quotas with "women and children first." 

If I was the DNC, I'd make an AI slop video of the Orange Prolapse as Captain with his second in command as Stephen Miller.  As they scheme to get their cronies Caledon "Cal" Hockley and his ruthless manservant Spicer Lovejoy safely off the ship.

Use background footage of the high profile Renee Good murder, protesters in freezing conditions in Minneapolis, and of course that kid with the blue bunny hat and Spiderman backpack.

Democrats:  repeat after me.  With Donald Trump and Stephen Miller, it's no longer the "worst of the worst."  It's "women and children first."

Memorable quotation/propaganda, spot on assessment, offensive posturing, easy to remember, and of course, the rhyme is a total winner.  I have other specific winning scenarios regarding abortion, guns, Iran, Epstein Files, golden toilets, etc.  The key concept here is "abnormality."  You name it... I got it.  Would the DNC have the guts?  I doubt it.

 

Round River
sonofsaf

Shithead attacks,
Trump is a cunt.
Washington D.C. stunt.

Round River
trollin’.

Donald’s goin’ to hell
Stormy enemy.
Donald J. Trump’s queer ass
Round River pornography.

Round River
trollin’.

Orange Prolapse is queer
MAGA flood of blood
Oh the shitty colon wars
a Jared Kushner dud.

Round River
trollin’.
Fuck yeah!
Round River
trollin’.
Fuck yeah!

Damn wretch,
hairy yeast g-string,
shitty pornography
‘cause lust is a sin.

Stand and shout!

Crooked gay clown.

[solo 1]

Round River
trollin’.
Fuck yeah!
Round River
trollin’.
Fuck yeah!

Round River.
Round River.
Fuck yeah!

[solo 2] 

 

Big River
Van Halen

Wind at my back,
face in the sun.
All my big ideas done.

Big river
rollin’.

Listen to a sea shell
you can hear the sea.
Listen to a beer glass
that river belongs to me.

Big river
rollin’.

There’s a river runs here.
When it rains we flood.
Co-op City first 3 floors
of Charles River mud.

Big river
rollin’.
Oh, yeah!
Big river
rollin’.
Oh, yeah!

Land’s edge,
where the East begins,
the debris meets the sea
when the tide comes in.

Oh, look out! 

Look both ways now.

[solo 1]

Big river
rollin’.
Oh, yeah!
Big river
rollin’.
Oh, yeah!

Big river.
Big river.
Oh, yeah!

[solo 2] 

This parody is a bit... meh.  Just wasn't much to work with.

Favorite Van Halen song AND video?  Definitely Hot For Teacher. 

From 1978 to 2015, some form of Van Halen jumped the Burgh a grand total of 19 times.

Van Halen:

6-15-88, Three Rivers Stadium, Pitttsburgh, PA (Monsters of Cock)
6-23-88, Rubber Bowl, Akron, OH (Monsters of Cock)
6-29-04, Post-Gazette Pavilion, Burgettstown, PA
3-21-08, Mellon Arena, Pittsburgh, PA (this particular concert was unusually pathetic)
3-30-12, Consol Energy Center, Pittsburgh, PA
7-28-15, First Niagara Pavilion, Burgettstown, PA

The Big Lie 100:

#3952.  Stormy D. (Valerie --- Steve Winwood)

#3953.  Stormy D. (Stand By Me --- Ben E. King)

#3954.  Delaney Hall (Once And For All --- Hell Is For Heroes)

#3955.  Bari Weiss (Edelweiss --- The Sound Of Music)

#3956.  Bari Weiss (Pay The Price --- Twisted Sister)

#3957.  Wes Climer (Tree Climber --- Stellar Kart)

#3958.  Donald Is Very Gay (Drivin' My Life Away --- Eddie Rabbit)

#3959.  Carrie Buck (What The Fuck --- Bill Wurtz)

#3960.  The Donald's Big Lie (No Woman, No Cry --- Bob Marley)

#3961.  Glassman (Madman --- Crippled Black Phoenix)

#3962.  Glassman (Madman --- Silverchair)

#3963.  Hern (Learn --- Ari Hest)

#3964.  Trump Derangement Syndrome (Fading Kitten Syndrome --- ROAR) 

#3965.  John Wahl (The Wall --- Alok & Sevenn)

#3966.  Jackson (Jackson --- Dave Barnes)

#3967.  Jackson (Jackson --- Lucinda Williams)

#3968.  John Wahl (The Wall --- Willie Nelson)

#3969.  Celeste Maloy (Helen Of Troy --- Orchestral Manoeuvres In The Dark)

#3970.  Rick Jackson (To Jackson --- The Cribs)

#3971.  Reflecting Pool (Too Cool For School --- Fountains Of Wayne)

#3972.  J.D. Vance (Capri Pants --- Bikini Kill)

#3973.  J.D. Vance (Take A Chance --- Brother Cane)

#3974.  James (Games --- Ryan Adams)

#3975.  James (Games --- The Strokes)

#3976.  John James Is Boneless (Who Claims The Soulless --- Danzig)

#3977.  Mike Mazzei (Stir Crazy --- Unlike Pluto)

#3978.  Bruce Blakeman (Awaken --- Big Wild)

#3979.  Oberacker (Jacob's Ladder --- Bruce Springsteen)

#3980.  Kennedy (Jealousy --- Spoon)

#3981.  Steiner (Miner --- Kara's Flowers)

#3982.  Trump Is A Cunt From The Right (Ain't Even Done With The Night --- John Cougar Mellencamp)

#3983.  David Steiner (Granny Diner --- Grizzly Bear)

#3984.  Reflecting Pool (We Rule The School --- Belle & Sebastian)

#3985.  Oberacker (Jacob's Ladder --- Patrick Wolf)

#3986.  Oberacker (Jacob's Ladder --- Anne Murray)

#3987.  Bill Pulte (Bird Of Prey --- The Doors)

#3988.  Bill Pulte (Bird of Prey --- Army Of Lovers)

#3989.  Bill Pulte (New Year's Day --- U2)

#3990.  Steiner (Miner --- Kara's Flowers)

#3991.  Keep On Rowing (Keep on Growing --- Grateful Dead)

#3992.  Crank (Blank --- Smashing Pumpkins)

#3993.  John James (Head Games --- Foreigner)

#3994.  David Steiner (All Night Diner --- Taylor Swift)

#3995.  Downing (Drowning --- Stereophonics)

#3996.  The Immaculate Concussion (The Immaculate Rejection --- sonofsaf)

#3997.  Mitch (Bitch --- The Vaselines)

#3998.  Mitch (Bitch --- Stephen Lynch)

#3999.  Mitch (Bitch --- Yeah Yeah Yeahs)

#4000.  Tayvis (Save Us --- King's X)

#4001.  Sacrifice (Vincent Price --- Deep Purple)

#4002.  Save America Act (As A Matter Of Fact --- Babyface)

#4003.  Tiny Mushroom Trump Accounts (A Collection Of Accounts --- Superchunk)

#4004.  Trump Accounts (Shake Break Bounce --- The Chemical Brothers)

#4005.  Trump's Sacrifice (My Sacrifice --- Creed)

#4006.  Graham Platner (deli platter --- Johnny Utah)

#4007.  Shotwell (Bombshell --- Operation Ivy)

#4008.  The MAGA Meltdown (The Final Countdown --- Europe)

#4009.  Shotwell (Unwell --- Surf Curse)

#4010.  Lindsey Graham (Heather Graham --- Da Vinci's Notebook)

#4011.  Freedom Fuel (Rocket Fuel --- Alvin Lee)

#4012.  Mitch McConnell (Horizontal --- Bee Gees)

#4013.  Nancy Mace (Face To Face --- David Allan Coe)

#4014.  Darline (Darlene --- The Lumineers)

#4015.  Mike Lindell (NFL --- sonofsaf)

#4016.  Governor Stitt (Lickety Split --- Spiderbait)

#4017.  Hegseth (Deep Breath --- 32 Leaves)

#4018.  Pete Hegseth (The Black Death --- Something Rotten Broadway Musical)

#4019.  TNT (T.N.T. --- AC/DC)

#4020.  Orange Prolapse Fart (Kickstart My Heart --- Motley Crue)

#4021.  Big Lie Coup D'etat Was Wild (If I Ever Was A Child --- Wilco)

#4022.  Pickaxe Mountain (Sugar Mountain --- Neil Young)

#4023.  Governor Stitt (Lickety Split --- Devandra Banhart)

#4024.  Andy Biggs (Truffle Pigs ---  Matthew Goodman Band)

#4025.  Hegseth (Deep Breath --- The Sound)

#4026.  Andy Biggs (Blinking Pigs --- Little Dragon)

#4027.  Andy S. Biggs (We Are The Pigs --- Suede)

#4028.  Donald Trump's Blowing (Where Are You Going --- Dave Matthews Band)

#4029.  Kolodin (Violin --- They Might Be Giants)

#4030.  Hegseth (Til Death --- Christopher Sieber & Megan Hilty)

#4031.  Mitch McConnell (Horizontal --- All)

#4032.  Trump (Plump --- Hole)

#4033.  Thune (Goon --- Osees)

#4034.  Introducing Susan Collins (Introducing Mary Poppins --- Lin-Manuel Miranda & Emily Blunt)

#4035.  Tayvis (Save Us --- Feeder)

#4036.  Lance Schroyer (Destroyer --- Venom)

#4037.  Oberacker (Jacob's Ladder ---Incognito)

#4038.  Bill Pulte (Bird Of Prey --- Uriah Heep)

#4039.  Clayton (Satan --- The Dwarves)

#4040.  Jay Clayton (Unshaken --- D'Angelo)

#4041.  Jay Clayton (Awaken --- Breaking Benjamin)

#4042.  Clayton (Taken --- Snow Ghosts)

#4043.  Thune (Goon --- Moon Tooth)

#4044.  Oberacker (Jacob's Ladder --- Arlo Guthrie)

#4045.  Jay Clayton (Hail Satan --- Mindless Self Indulgence)

#4046.  Jeanine Pirro (Superhero --- Edie Brickell & The New Bohemians)

#4047.  Rick Brattin (Black Satin --- The Raveonettes)

#4048.  Sean Hannity (O' Sanity --- John Lennon & Yoko Ono)

#4049.  Moreno (Volcano --- Horse Jumper Of Love)

#4050.  Darline (Jolene --- Dolly Parton)

#4051.  Sean Hannity (Dark Sanity --- Mortician)

#4052.  John Braun (Walk On --- Deep Purple)

#4053.  John Braun (Walk On --- Roy Orbison)

#4054.  Bill Hagerty (Haphazardly --- Rhett Miller)

#4055.  Andy Ogles (Annie Oakley --- Miniature Tigers)

#4056.  Terafab (Taxi Cab --- The Naked Brothers Band)

#4057.  Terafab (Taxi Cab --- Vampire Weekend)

#4058.  Brent Taylor (Lost Sailor --- Grateful Dead)

#4059.  Tom Tiffany's Gonna Cheat (Epiphany On Mott Street --- The Waterboys)

#4060.  Tom Tiffany (Epiphany --- SG Lewis)

#4061.  Noem Is Deranged (Home On The Range --- John Denver)

#4062.  Noem (Home --- Low)

#4063.  Kristi Noem (Letters Home --- Childish Gambino)

#4064.  Noem (Home --- Casting Crowns)

#4065.  Jeanine Pirro (Superhero --- ChewieCatt)

#4066.  Mike Lindell (Go To Hell --- Alice Cooper)

#4067.  Trumper Dumper (Little Sister --- Queens Of The Stone Age)

#4068.  Noem (Home --- Aurora)

#4069.  ICE Gloves (White Gloves --- Khruangbin)

#4070.  Weinberger Stain (Hamburger Train --- Primus)

#4071.  Daylight Savings Time (Victim Or The Crime --- Grateful Dead)

#4072.  Megan Weinberger And Big Lies (I Love Cheeseburgers, Apple Pies --- Cake Pop)

#4073.  Karoline Leavitt (Letter Of Credit --- The Getaway Plan)

#4074.  ICE Gloves (God's Gloves --- Peace)

#4075.  MAGA Meg Weinberger (Big Kahuna Burger --- Knucks)

#4076.  MAGA Meg Weinberger (I Want A Hamburger --- Parry Gripp)

#4077.  Mace (Mace --- Blur)

#4078.  Kevin Rideout (Knock-Down Drag-Out --- Weezer)

#4079.  Jay Clayton (Hail Satan --- South Park)

#4080.  J.J. Grow (Let It Grow --- Black Lips)

#4081.  Round River (Big River --- Van Halen)

Please do not share this material with the FBI and/or President Donald J. Trump.