#3005. Kash

During his upcoming Senate hearing for FBI Secretary, K$H Patel will likely be asked about his affiliation with Q-Anon.  Democratic lawmakers engaged in satanism & cannabilism, Hillary's Clinton's underground pizza shop child sex-trafficking ring, Jewish space lasers tampering with the 2020 election, and so on and so forth.  You know... the normal GOP talking points.

Still, I'm more concerned about the Pirates rough start to the season.

Kooch signing autographs at Pirates Fest 2025.

Down at the David Lawrence Convention Center, Andrew McLovin' appears oblivious.

Coulda been worse I suppose.  Think in terms of Andrew Mohammed.

Sheetz was a major sponsor at this year's Pirates Fest.  

"Trooper give 'em Teddy Hug-a-Bear!  Makes 'em understand!" --- Chapter 2.

In conjunction with owner Bob Nutting, they're giving away diminutive beef stick samples.

Who knew you could get a whopping dozen 1 inch samples from a single meat stick?  

Who knew?  Nutting knew!

Quantities are limited to one sample per entrant.

Wrong venue.  It's called PNC Puke, A$$HOLE!

For their home opener, the Buccos will be hosting the New York Yankees (April 4-6).

 

Kash
sonofsaf

First Lady whore!

Dumb cunt! Ivanka’s the enemy
Stormy Daniels her tits are pornography
Dumb cunt! Ivanka’s the enemy
Fuck around and find out screw Democracy - no!

Blow!

Trump dined and he feeded - fries and a McDouble  
Forty-seven’s fat n’at guilty of treason
Dope and, piece of shit with his seven sins and no repentance
Jag-off, of all trades will fuck you up

Donald’s!
Toilet might!
Stall is great!

Proud Boys and the insurrection

Yeah, yeah
Hey, hey, hey, hey
Yay
Ugggh!

 

Trash
Silverchair

One, two, three, four!

Welcome! Nothing short of anarchy
It's so hard to find out who you wanna be
Welcome! Nothing short of anarchy
It's so hard to find out who you wanna be - oh!

Go!

I couldn't find what you needed - ooh to be a double
A big pill but you know that you need a poison
Open, you need it but I returned the point of acceptance
How brave, your parades never do much

Violence!
Hopeless fight!
Call it straight!

Big black steel cap dealt rejection

Yeah, yeah
Hey, hey, hey, hey
Yay
Ugggh!

 

 

Another parody of the obscure Silverchair tune.  I also penned # #1964.  Kash.  

I knew this song seemed familiar but I couldn't quite place my finger on it.

Silverchair has never played the Burgh.

The Big Lie 100: (#2129)

#3000.  Kash (Stash --- Phish)

#3001.  Keith Sonderling (Jesus Is King --- Selah)

#3002.  Bannon (Cannon --- Jack White)

#3003.  Kash (Trash --- New York Dolls)

#3004.  Ashley Moody (Call Of Duty --- Anvil)

#3005.  Kash (Trash --- Silverchair)

 

Please do not share this material with Kash Patel and/or incoming President Donald J. Trump.

#3004. Ashley Moody

Just yesterday, Governor Ron DeSanctimonious appointed Florida's Attorney General "Assy Booty" to fill Marco Rubio's Senate seat.

 

Ashley Moody!

Congratulations.

Dark MAGA?  Uh... technically no.  Brown MAGA?  Uh, yep.

Dahntahn Dump Justice n'at. (Never a Trumper)

Plenty o' Dahntahn Dumps ahead of the NFL draft which will be held in Shittsburgh.

 

Ashley Moody
sonofsaf

Donald’s insurrection is nicknamed Forty-five
Trump’s back in the saddle on Stormy overdrive
Trans-lovin’ Bud Light Big Mac he will feed
Trump Vodka bartender is sobriety indeed

Ashley Moody, Senator whore
Ashley Moody, settle the score

The constant self-deflection still spreading the big lie
Believes in prostitution, Slovenians and apple pie

Ashley Moody, Senator whore
Ashley Moody, settle the score

Donald’s hair is less not more, Nancy Pelosi was too hardcore
Depends dependence J-6 hostage choir
Constant psychobabble fury and the fire
Ivanka fuckin’ Kushner is probably gay
And Jared Jewboy Kushner is a kosher display

Ashley Moody, Senator whore
Ashley Moody, settle the score
Ashley Moody, Senator whore
Ashley Moody, settle the score

 

Call Of Duty
Anvil

Use your ammunition to keep yourself alive
Onward to the battle the struggle to survive
Never ending fight and will to succeed
Never to surrender and refusal to concede

Call of Duty, theatre of war
Call of Duty, to live for more

Get set for confrontation take cover kill or die
Receive your retribution another chance to live and try

Call of Duty, theatre of war
Call of Duty, to live for more

All is fair in love and war, kill the enemy even the score
Anger and vengeance the fuel for the fire
Living through the battle never to retire
Nobility and honor to the final day
Patriotic endeavor for the cause you must stay

Call of Duty, theatre of war
Call of Duty, to live for more
Call of Duty, theatre of war
Call of Duty, to live for more

 

Anvil likely intended this song to be a superior metal anthem.  But to be candid, it's just a "dullard yawner."  Meh.

From 1988 to 2022, Anvil has hammered the Burgh a grand total of 5 times.  Twice at the Electric Banana, Altar Bar in the Strip, Grim's Roadhouse in Imperial, and the Crafthouse in Whitehall.  Never seen 'em.

The Big Lie 100: (#2128)

#3000.  Kash (Stash --- Phish)

#3001.  Keith Sonderling (Jesus Is King --- Selah)

#3002.  Bannon (Cannon --- Jack White)

#3003.  Kash (Trash --- New York Dolls)

#3004.  Ashley Moody (Call Of Duty --- Anvil)

 

Please do not share this material with Ashley Moody and/or incoming President Donald J. Trump.

#3003. Kash

No offense, butt the Orange Prolapse's pick to lead the FBI looks like he just kicked himself in the nuts.

Meet K$H Patel.  I wish I had a nifty dollar sign in my name.  Hmm, S$F.

 

Hot damn!  I haven't seen this much shit since Little V. took a dump in the shower.

Glad we got that straight!

Kash
sonofsaf

Kash, Patel’s fucked up, Donald Trump hooray
Kash, Patel’s fucked up, Donald J. Trump hooray
Kash, Patel’s fucked up, Forty-fuckin’-seven hooray
Disease, Ivanka Kushner kosher Jew
A job to blow she is screwing
Twat of bullshit

Kash, Patel’s fucked up, Donald Trump hooray
Kash, Patel’s fucked up, Forty-five’s not okay
Kash, Patel’s fucked up, Forty-fuckin’-seven hooray
Disease, Ivanka Kushner kosher Jew
Daughter-wife he’s gonna screw
Dar she blows

Kash, is fucked up, Donald Trump hooray
Kash, is fucked up, Donald J. Trump hooray
Kash, Patel’s fucked up, that Forty-seven ain’t okay
Disease, Ivanka Kushner kosher Jew
Daughter-wife yinz gonna screw
Jared Kushner is a fucking Jew
Beloved daughter-wife is too
A golden toilet throne for you
A tiny mushroom bone for you
Daughter-wife Donald’s gonna screw
Daughter Donald’s gonna screw

The clown is using a dildo toy

Kash, is fucked up, Donald Trump hooray
Kash, is fucked up, Donald J. Trump hooray
Kash, is fucked up, Donald J. Trump hooray
Kash, is dicked up, Donald J. Trump hooray
Kash, Patel’s fucked up, Donald J. Trump hooray
Kash, Patel’s fucked up, Forty-seven ain’t okay
Kash, is fucked up, Donald J. Trump hooray
Oh, Kash
Whoa, whoa
The First lady
Yeah, yeah
Oh-no, Kash
Whoa, whoa
Maybe, you're a cunt

Kash, is fucked up, Donald Trump hooray
Kash, Patel’s fucked up, Donald J. Trump hooray
Kash, Patel’s fucked up, Donald Trump hooray
Kash, Patel’s fucked up, Donald J. Trump hooray
Oh, Kash
Donald J. Trump hooray
Oh, Kash
Donald J. Trump hooray
Oh, Kash
Donald J. Trump hooray
Oh, Kash

 

Trash
New York Dolls

Trash, won't pick it up, take them lights away
Trash, won't pick it up, don't take your life away
Trash, won't pick it up, don't try to take my knife away
And please, don't you ask me if I love you
If you don't know what I'm doing
What you know is

Trash, go pick it up, take them lights away
Trash, won't get it up, don't throw your love away
Trash, won't pick it up, don't try to take my knife away
And please, don't you ask me if I love you
'Cause I don't know why I do
Up my nose

Trash, pick it up, take them lights away
Trash, pick it up, don't take my knife away
Trash, won't pick it up, the doctor take them all away
And please, don't you ask me if I love you
'Cause I don't know if I do
I want to wipe it out here with you
And take a lover's sleep with you
I'm gonna talk alone with you
I'm gonna talk and be with you
But I just don't know if I do
I just don't know if I do

Ah, how do you call your loverboy?

Trash, pick it up, take them lights away
Trash, pick it up, go put that knife away
Trash, pick it up, don't give your life away
Trash, get it up, don't throw your love away
Trash, won't pick it up, don't take my knife away
Trash, won't pick it up, doctor take them all away
Trash, pick it up, don't take my knife away
Oh, trash
Whoa, whoa
My sweet baby
Yeah, yeah
Oh-oh, trash
Whoa, whoa
Baby, you're the one

Trash, pick it up, take them lights away
Trash, won't pick it up, don't take my knife away
Trash, won't pick it up, take them lights away
Trash, won't pick it up, don't take my knife away
Oh, trash
Don't kick my knife away
Oh, trash
Don't kick my knife away
Oh, trash
Don't kick my knife away
Oh, trash

From a parody perspective, I despise these songs where the choruses are "just slightly altered" during each refrain.  It makes the creative process annoyingly cumbersome.

From 1973 to 2011, the New York Dolls played with the Burgh a grand total of 5 times.  Every time a different venue (Alpine Arena in Swissvale, Syria Mosque, Nixon Theatre, Point State Park, & Stage AE).  Never saw 'em perform.

The Big Lie 100: (#2127)

#3000.  Kash (Stash --- Phish)

#3001.  Keith Sonderling (Jesus Is King --- Selah)

#3002.  Bannon (Cannon --- Jack White)

#3003.  Kash (Trash --- New York Dolls)

Please do not share this material with Kash Patel and/or incoming President Donald J. Trump.