#3025. Noem Crust

Kristi Noem is the shit!

She's also the new Secretary for the Department of Homeland Security.

 

Well not really.  There's actually much to say.  Why?  Because Trump Dumps are largely a matter of "momentum."

Momentum = Mass x Velocity.

Where mass is measured in terms of ounces per excrement.  And velocity is determined by several variables.  Among them... wind, rain, heat, flies, random cyclists, and the degree of city sanitation worker commitment. 

Noem Crust
sonofsaf

Noem’s crust on her cunt
South Dakota price
South Dakota
Kristi her crust
Kristi her Noem crust
Kristi her crust
Kristi her Noem crust

Kristi her Noem crust
That Governor
Cum is, cum’s Noem’s crust

Her job to blow, that clown in Trump Tower got fucked
Her job to blow, that clown in Trump Tower got fucked
Her job to blow, that clown in Trump Tower got fucked

 

Dome Rust
Guided By Voices

Dome rust at your top
I thought you were nice
I thought you were
I find your rust
I find your dome rust
I find your rust
I find your dome rust

I find your dome rust
On top you were
Come on, come dome rust

That's how we know, that's how we know our dome rust
That's how we know, that's how we know our dome rust
That's how we know, that's how we know our dome rust

Obviously I got decimated at Jeopardy.

 

From 1994 to the present, Guided By Voices has played the Burgh a grand total of 12 times.  

Never heard of 'em.  I actually listened to this song twice.

This song... I uh, well, I just don't git it.  My parody's equally horrific.  Perhaps even worse.

This band has been around for a while.  So I'm assuming they have some better material out there.  However, I'm unwilling to investigate.  

Plenty of parodies have been written about our new DHS Secretary.

Gnome Top 10:

#1.  Noem Sweet Noem: (Motley Crue --- Home Sweet Home)

#242.  Cumming Noem: (Scorpions --- Coming Home)

#249.  Sweet Noem South Dakota: (Lynyrd Skynyrd --- Sweet Home Alabama)

#301.  Welcome Noem Planetarium: (Metallica --- Welcome Home Sanitarium)

#302.  Who Says You Can't Blow Noem: (Bon Jovi --- Who Says You Can't Go Home)

#303.  Noem: (Daughtry --- Home)

#497.  Can't Stand Kristi Noem: (Blind Faith --- Can't Find My Way Home)

#515.  Fuck The Leech:  (Jane's Addiction --- Up The Beach)

#535.  Welcome Noem: (King Diamond --- Welcome Noem)

#536.  Noem: (Phish --- Foam)

#703.  Noem: (Unknown --- universal meditation mantra)

#704.  Asshole Noem: (Astrodome --- Houston ex-mayor, Roy Hofheinz)

#721.  I Haunt Kristi Noem (Me Want Honeycomb --- Post Mills marketing dept.)

#1009.  Noem (Home --- Foo Fighters)

#1319.  Kristi Noem's, Cunt Explodes (Take Me Home Country Roads --- John Denver)

#1813.  Kristi Noem (Kodachrome --- Paul Simon)

#1816.  Kristi Noem (Hell Is Chrome --- Wilco)

#2066.  Noem (Roam --- The B-52's)

#2148.  Kristi's, A Fucking Gnome (Mama, I'm Coming Home --- Ozzy Osbourne)

#2542.  Cricket's Fucked (Lick It Up --- Kiss)

#2544.  Cricket Has Died (Ticket To Ride --- The Beatles)

#3008.  Kristi Lynn Noem (Autumn In Rome --- Tony Bennett)

#3009.  Noem (Rome --- Destroyer)

#3011.  Kristi Lynn Noem (Under A Dome --- Of Monsters And Men)

#3016.  Kristi Noem (Heart Of Rome --- Elvis Presley)

#3025.  Noem Crust (Dome Rust --- Guided By Voiced)

The Big Lie 100: (#2147)

#3000.  Kash (Stash --- Phish)

#3001.  Keith Sonderling (Jesus Is King --- Selah)

#3002.  Bannon (Cannon --- Jack White)

#3003.  Kash (Trash --- New York Dolls)

#3004.  Ashley Moody (Call Of Duty --- Anvil)

#3005.  Kash (Trash --- Silverchair)

#3006.  TikTok (Bangkok --- Destroyer)

#3007.  Michael Vrabel (God Is Able --- Planetshakers)

#3008.  Kristi Lynn Noem (Autumn In Rome --- Tony Bennett)

#3009.  Noem (Rome --- Destroyer)

#3010.  Mulligan's Big Lie (Mulligan's Big Lie --- Lin Manuel Miranda)

#3011.  Kristi Lynn Noem (Under A Dome --- Of Monsters And Men)

#3012.  Hegseth (Macbeth --- Frank Turner & Jon Snodgrass)

#3013.  Trumpin' & Dumpin' (Garden Of Eden --- Ratt)

#3014.  Trumpin' & Dumpin' (Garden Of Eden --- Harem Scarem)

#3015.  Trumpin' & Dumpin' (Garden Of Eden --- Paula Cole)

#3016.  Kristi Noem (Heart Of Rome --- Elvis Presley)

#3017.  Ivanka's A Cunt (Memories Of Love --- Chicago)

#3018.  The J-6 Hostages (Song For The Hostages --- Five For Fighting)

#3019.  Stormy D.'s A Cunt (Memory Of Love --- Elton John)

#3020.  Jeff Van Drew (Thru And Thru --- Rolling Stones)

#3021.  Jeff Van Drew (Not For You --- Pearl Jam)

#3022.  Daniel Ball (Alcohol --- Butthole Surfers)

#3023.  Oath Keeper Rhodes (So Many Roads --- Grateful Dead)

#3024.  Pardon (Garden --- Pearl Jam)

#3025.  Noem Crust (Dome Rust --- Guided by Voices)

Please do not share this material with DHS Secretary Kristi Noem and/or President Donald J. Trump.