#1816. Kristi Noem

At this weekend's NRA convention in Indy, South Dakota's Governor Kristi Noem referenced her 2 year old granddaughter... and her love of firearms... and her pony named Sparkles.

So why is this 2 year old wielding firearms?  Let alone riding a reckless land cow.  

Oh yeah, destination New Sodom  (as opposed to New Philly).

 

Kristi Noem
sonofsaf

She’s more of the same
MAGA inbred
Kristi Noem, MAGA red

Cum on me
Job to blow
Heaven sent
South Dakota’s obscene
Rushmore ain’t empowering

A midwest cunt
Who’s always armed
Despite her kids I wonder if she’s gay
LGB queer
LGB queer

A piece of shit
Like a diarrhea glaze
An asshole mission ‘o count the ways
Anal torture was prolonged
Cum on me

Cum on me
Cum on me
Cum on me
Cum on me
Cum on me
Cum on me
Cum on me

 

Hell Is Chrome
Wilco

When the devil came
He was not red
He was chrome, and he said

Come with me
You must go
So I went
Where everything was clean
So precise and towering

I was welcomed
With open arms
I received so much help in every way
I felt no fear
I felt no fear

The air was crisp
Like sunny late winter days
A springtime yawning high in the haze
And I felt like I belonged
Come with me

Come with me
Come with me
Come with me
Come with me
Come with me
Come with me
Come with me

Wilco:

8-23-98, Star Lake Amphitheatre, Burgettstown, PA (Newport Folk Festival)

6-8-17, Stage AE, Pittsburgh, PA

Here's a peculiar observation.  The first ever parody I wrote, amidst the 2020 election, was about my dark horse Trump 2024 running mate, Kristi Noem.

Gnome Top 10:

#1.  Noem Sweet Noem: (Motley Crue --- Home Sweet Home)

#242.  Cumming Noem: (Scorpions --- Coming Home)

#249.  Sweet Noem South Dakota: (Lynyrd Skynyrd --- Sweet Home Alabama)

#301.  Welcome Noem Planetarium: (Metallica --- Welcome Home Sanitarium)

#302.  Who Says You Can't Blow Noem: (Bon Jovi --- Who Says You Can't Go Home)

#303.  Noem: (Daughtry --- Home)

#497.  Can't Stand Kristi Noem: (Blind Faith --- Can't Find My Way Home)

#515.  Fuck The Leech:  (Jane's Addiction --- Up The Beach)

#535.  Welcome Noem: (King Diamond --- Welcome Noem)

#536.  Noem: (Phish --- Foam)

#703.  Noem: (Unknown --- universal meditation mantra)

#704.  Asshole Noem: (Astrodome --- Houston ex-mayor, Roy Hofheinz)

#721.  I Haunt Kristi Noem (Me Want Honeycomb --- Post Mills marketing dept.)

#1009.  Noem (Home --- Foo Fighters)

#1319.  Kristi Noem's, Cunt Explodes (Take Me Home Country Roads --- John Denver)

#1813.  Kristi Noem (Kodachrome --- Paul Simon)

#1816.  Kristi Noem (Hell Is Chrome --- Wilco)

 

The Big Lie 100: (#976)

#1740.  CPAC (Stand Back --- Stevie Nicks)

#1741.  CPAC's Frightnin' (Smokestack Lightnin' --- Grateful Dead)

#1742.  Hatin' Nate Schatzline (Lay It On the Line --- Triumph)

#1743.  Nate Schatzline (Hold The Line --- Toto)

#1744.*  Faking The Violence (Breaking The Silence --- Queensryche)

#1745.  Treason He's A Cunt (Seasons In The Sun --- Terry Jacks)

#1746.  Tucker (Fucker --- Brian Jonestown Massacre)

#1747.  Lake's My Enemy (Cake And Sodomy --- Marilyn Manson)

#1748.  Newt (Cute --- Bobby Darrin)

#1749.  Donald Trump Is Gay (Take My Breath Away --- Berlin)

#1750.  Markwayne Mullin (Cocaine And Gin --- Kid Rock)

#1751.  Stormy's Better (Stormy Weather --- Billie Holiday)

#1752.  Stormy's Wetter (Stormy Weather --- The Pixies)

#1753.  Bell (Hell --- Foo Fighters)

#1754.  Will Will Slap You (We Will Rock You --- Queen)

#1755.  Donald Trump's a Cunt (On The Wings Of Love --- Jeffrey Osbourne)

#1756.  Donald Is A Child (Bad Boys Running Wild --- Scorpions)

#1757.  Donald's A Child (Running Wild --- Judas Priest)

#1758.  McConnell (Raising Hell --- Tom Morello & Ben Harper)

#1759.  ... Jim Justice Asshole (... And Justice For All --- Metallica) 

#1760.  Mike Pence Is Shit (Don't Fence Me In --- Willie Nelson)

#1761.  Blum (Dumb --- Nirvana)

#1762.  Charlie Kirk Sold Out (We Can Work It Out --- The Beatles)

#1763.  Xi Fucks You (She Loves You --- The Beatles)

#1764.  Has Been Chip Roy (Seek And Destroy --- Metallica)

#1765.  Steil (Smile -- Pearl Jam)

#1766.  Congressman Steil's Critical Race (God Put A Smile Upon Your Face --- Coldplay)

#1767.  Steil's A Liar (Trial By Fire --- Testament)

#1768.  Xi's Fucking Trump's Wife (She's Out Of My Life --- Michael Jackson)

#1769.  His Name Is Dave Williams (How I Made My Millions --- Radiohead)

#1770.  Xi Jinping's A Basket Case (Everything In Its Right Place --- Radiohead)

#1771.  Hovde Will Fuck You (Lovely To See You --- Moody Blues)

#1772.  Jim Justice (Seed Justice --- Neil Young)

#1773.  Steil (Smile --- Michael Jackson)

#1774.  Xi Jinping's Dead (Everything Zen --- Bush)

#1775.  Robinson (Machine Gun --- The Commodores)

#1776.  Donald's An Orange Prolapse Fart (Owner Of A Lonely Heart --- Yes)

#1777.  Nashville Isn't Lucky (Nashville to Kentucky --- My Morning Jacket)

#1778.  Tennessee Dead (Tennessee Jed --- Grateful Dead)

#1779.  Tim Burchett's Shitty (Suffragette City --- David Bowie)

#1780.  On Fox News Sean Hannity (The Frayed Ends Of Sanity --- Metallica)

#1781.  What The Fuck (Thunderstruck --- AC/DC)

#1782.  Indicted (United --- Judas Priest)

#1783.  Indicted Cunt (United Blood --- Agnostic Front)

#1784.  Indicted Not Long (United And Strong --- Agnostic Front)

#1785.  Indicted As Planned (United We Stand --- Elton John)

#1786.  Why Do Proud Boys Need More Dildos (Are There Any More Real Cowboys --- Neil Young)

#1787.  Don't Lie For Trump Tacopina (Don't Cry For Me Argentina --- Madonna)

#1788.  Moore's A Shit Show (More Than You Know --- Eddie Vedder)

#1789.  Asshole Of Obscenity (Centre Of Eternity --- Ozzy Osbourne) 

#1790.  Hutchinson (One By One --- Neil Diamond)

#1791.  Treason Of Jim Justice (Seasons In The Abyss --- Slayer)

#1792.  Hutchinson (Number One --- Laid Back)

#1793.  James Comer (The Loner --- Neil Young)

#1794.  Taylor Greene (Billie Jean --- Michael Jackson)

#1795.  Douglas Burgum (Here Comes The Sun --- The Beatles)

#1796.  Bill Barr (Ya Mar --- Phish)

#1797.  Cotham's Shit-Stained Face (Awesome In This Place --- Tricia Cotham)

#1798.  Katie's Shittin' (Baby Sittin' --- Carole King)

#1799.  Asshole LaPierre (Back Door Love Affair --- ZZ Top)

#1800.  Senator Daines (Breaking The Chains --- Dokken)

#1801.  LaPierre Pride (Delaware Slide --- George Thorogood)

#1802.  Tricia Cotham (Apple Blossom --- White Stripes)

#1803.  Jeff Roe (Death Row --- Chris Stapleton)

#1807.  Trusty's Rage (Rusty Cage --- Soundgarden)

#1808.  Taylor Greene (Shirley Green --- Foghat)

#1809.  Jeff Roe (Hello --- Lionel Richie)

#1810.  Ohio's Moreno (Avenu Malkenu --- Phish)

#1811.  45 Love Affair ('65 Love Affair --- Paul Davis)

#1812.  Warthog (Hound Dog --- Elvis Presley)

#1813.  Kristi Noem (Kodachrome --- Paul Simon & Art Garfunkel)

#1814.  Warthog (Hot Dog --- Led Zeppelin)

#1815.  Jared Kushner Is A Jew (Only Wanna Be With You --- Hootie & The Blowfish)

#1816.  Kristi Noem (Hell Is Chrome --- Wilco)

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Please do not share this material with Kristi Noem and/or former President Donald J. Trump.