Sunday, January 31, 2021

#56. Tom Rice

Check out this picture of a standing Tom Rice (R-SC) with a seated Orange Prolapse.  

It seems like they're best buds.  Wrong!  Rice was one of 10 "heroic" House Republicans who deemed Trump's second impeachment was "constitutional."  Now, Rice is Trump's mortal enemy.  Rice's vote resulted in a strong backlash from his fellow Repubic Hairs.  Yesterday, the South Carolina Republican Party formally voted to censure him.  Shame!

So I'm gonna take an obligatory minute and dedicate this parody to Rice.


Tom Rice
sonofsaf

How long has Trump haunted
Impeachment is due
The Dems are cockroaches
They all know how to screw
He lied
Oh, how he’s lied
To his wife, yes his wife
She’s not a Jew

Oh he’s Tom Rice he’s gonna pay
With all the blame that’s here to stay
Makes me know it was all just one big super con
'Cause it's the blame he’s gonna choose
With Donald Trump he’s gonna lose
And Tom Rice is our best hope to git’r’dun

Seems he wasn’t chosen
The voters overruled
As the gay ass needs a lover
Election was ridiculed
‘Tard crimes,
Oh tard crimes,
For the lies, oh the lies,
For me and you

Oh he’s Tom Rice he’s gonna pay
With all the blame that’s here to stay
Makes me know it was all just one big super con
'Cause it's the blame he’s gonna choose
With Donald Trump he’s gonna lose
And Tom Rice is our best hope to git’r’dun

Oh he’s Tom Rice he’s gonna pay
With all the blame that’s here to stay
Makes me know it was all just one big super con
'Cause it's the blame he’s gonna choose
With Donald Trump he’s gonna lose
And Tom Rice is our best hope to git’r’dun

Oh he’s Tom Rice he’s gonna pay
With all the blame that’s here to stay
Makes me know it was all just one big super con
'Cause it's the blame he’s gonna choose
With Donald Trump he’s gonna lose
And Tom Rice is our best hope to git’r’dun

 

The Price
Twisted Sister

How long I have wanted
This dream to come true
And as it approaches
I can't believe I'm through
I've tried,
Oh, how I've tried
For a life, yes a life
I thought I knew

Oh it's the price we gotta pay
And all the games we gotta play
Makes me wonder if it's worth it to carry on
'Cause it's a game we gotta lose,
Though it's a life we gotta choose
And the price is our own life until it's done

Time seems to have frozen
But the mind can be fooled
As the days pass I discover
Destiny just can't be ruled
Hard times,
Oh hard times,
For the prize, yes the prize,
I thought I knew

Oh it's the price we gotta pay
And all the games we gotta play
Makes me wonder if it's worth it to carry on
'Cause it's a game we gotta lose,
Though it's a life we gotta choose
And the price is our own life until it's done

Oh it's the price we gotta pay
And all the games we gotta play
Makes me wonder if it's worth it to carry on
'Cause it's a game we gotta lose,
Though it's a life we gotta choose
And the price is our own life until it's done

Oh it's the price we gotta pay
And all the games we gotta play
Makes me wonder if it's worth it to carry on
'Cause it's a game we gotta lose,
Though it's a life we gotta choose
And the price is our own life until it's done



Never seen Twisted Sister live.  Back around 2005, they were supposed to play the Pepsi Cola Roadhouse next to Star Lake.  I was planning to attend but they ended up canceling due to lack of advance ticket sales.  I've been inside that venue only once.  Dropped off a crew for the Little River Band.  What's unusual about the place is that they incorporate a sit down dinner into the cost of the ticket.  Which elevates the cost of the average ticket to just under a hundred bucks.  So had the concert come to fruition, I would have had my choice of steak or chicken and Twisted Sister.  I find something about this amusing.  Although I'm not sure exactly what.  Probably the trivial pre-concert conversations before Dee Snider takes the stage.  "Uh, medium rare and can you make sure the sour cream for my baked potato is on the side.  Then, during the concert...  "Stop yer fist banging.  You're shaking the entire table!  You just spilled the Italian dressing."

Please do not share this information with Tom Rice (R-SC), former President Donald Trump, Dee Snider, Twisted Sister fans, and/or members of the South Carolina Republican party.

 

#55. Stirewalt

I went to school with this guy's older brother.  

Jim Stirewalt was a year ahead of me when I was in 6th and 7th grade at Wheeling Country Day School.  Way back in the early 80's.  His younger brother Chris Stirewalt had been a long time commentator for Fox News.  Until they fired him because he correctly called Arizona for Biden.  Sucks when you do your job to the best of your ability... but still get fired because the truth conflicts with your employer and the agenda of an Orange Prolapse.

 

I had a brief conversation with Chris late one night at the Alpha.  Probably about 15 years ago.  But I can't recall what we talked about.  So I doubt he'd remember me.  Although I'd be willing to bet that he does know of me.  Hey, after all, it's Wheeling, West Virginia.  

Dedicated to Chris Stirewalt.  I'm quite certain you'll land on your feet.  On the 1-100 difficulty scale, I'd rank this parody about a 95. 


Stirewalt
sonofsaf

They fired Stirewalt
His words tasted like In & Out
They likely think he’s gay
Call it polling prying by the pound and
At a Trumper rally

The votes were cast and things
They made the voters really think
They likely think he’s gay
Call it polling prying by the pound and
At a Trumper rally

But all the news is fake
People don’t ever ask why and they don’t care
The results in Arizona were a tad askew
What a bummer this election was so screwed
Years for more there will be blood for me
I hate all the Jews

Fox will dismember you
Their bayonets will barge on through
Plenty to volunteer
Call it polling prying by the pound and
At a Trumper rally

But all the news is fake
People don’t ever ask why and they don’t care
The results in Arizona were a tad askew
What a bummer this election was so screwed
Years four more there will be blood for me
I hate all the Jews

The boys are grifting proud
The regal Trumping back of my hand
Fetching the hurling sins
His failures tease a grim final stand
Illegals laughing sing
Checkmate as counters claim contraband

Fox will not hold his hand
The hearty Biden result was bland
He knew there was no crime
A thousand voters we’ll reprimand
Grim are the reaper’s fears
Fuck the Republicans five million cheers

They fired Stirewalt
His words tasted like In & Out
They fired Stirewalt
His words tasted like In & Out

But all the news is fake
People don’t ever ask why and they don’t care
Years four more there will be blood and no one cares

They fired Stirewalt
His words tasted like In & Out
They likely think he’s gay
Call it polling prying by the pound and
At a Trumper rally

But all the news is fake
People don’t ever ask why and they don’t care
The results in Arizona are a tad askew
What a bummer this election was so screwed
Years for more there will be blood for me
I hate all the Jews

Da la la la da da la


Roundabout
Yes

I'll be the roundabout
The words will make you out 'n' out
I spend the day your way
Call it morning driving through the sound and
In and out the valley

The music dance and sing
They make the children really ring
I spend the day your way
Call it morning driving through the sound and
In and out the valley

In and around the lake
Mountains come out of the sky and they stand there
One mile over we'll be there and we'll see you
Ten true summers we'll be there and laughing too
Twenty four before my love you'll see
I'll be there with you

I will remember you
Your silhouette will charge the view
Of distance atmosphere
Call it morning driving through the sound and
Even in the valley

In and around the lake
Mountains come out of the sky and they stand there
One mile over we'll be there and we'll see you
Ten true summers we'll be there and laughing too
Twenty four before my love you'll see
I'll be there with you

Along the drifting cloud
The eagle searching down on the land
Catching the swirling wind
The sailor sees the rim of the land
The eagle's dancing wings
Create as weather spins out of hand

Go closer hold the land
Feel partly no more than grains of sand
We stand to lose all time
A thousand answers by in our hand
Next to your deeper fears
We stand surrounded by a million years

I'll be the roundabout
The words will make you out 'n' out
I'll be the roundabout
The words will make you out 'n' out

In and around the lake
Mountains come out of the sky and they stand there
Twenty four before my love and I'll be there

I'll be the roundabout
The words will make you out 'n' out
I spend the day your way
Call it morning driving through the sound and
In and out the valley

In and around the lake
Mountains come out of the sky and they stand there
One mile over we'll be there and we'll see you
Ten true summers we'll be there and laughing too
Twenty four before my love you'll see
I'll be there with you

Da la la la da da la


 


Oddly enough, I've never seen Yes in concert.  Considering the number of times they've played Pittsburgh, I would label this a "curious anomaly."  Just for the record, I absolutely recommend 90125 (not the tv series).  Easily one of the best albums of the 80's.

Please do not share this information with Chris Stirewalt, Jim Stirewalt, former President Donald Trump, Yes fans, those who frequented the Ye Olde Alpha, and/or registered voters in the state of Arizona.


#54. Mister Peduto

State Representative Ed Gainey (D-PA) and I have something in common.  We’re both 50.  And that’s probably about it.


However, we do share a vested interest in politics.  Anyway, he’s running against Bill Peduto in the mayoral primary.  The vote is set for May 18, 2021.  Could be a nail biter.  I expect he’ll fare vastly better than Peduto’s last major challenger, Darlene Harris.  Not to sound critical, but Darlene kinda had this “deliriously confused, bewilderment” thing goin’ on.  Gainey has a much more “confident, deliberately focused” thing goin’ on.

Truth be told, I’m a fan of Peduto.  But I reside just barely outside the city limits.  So I'm ineligible to vote in the primary.  However, if I could… I’d probably pull the lever, er uh, fill in the oval for Gainey.

(before and after)
 


(before and after)

Dedicated to Pittsburgh Mayor Bill Peduto.  Even though nothing ever came of it, thanks for listening to my stampede crap.  Come to think of it, I pestered Gainey as well.  Then again, who among us doesn't enjoy discussing asymmetric cyber-terrorism and hypothetical black swan scenarios that would irrevocably alter the trajectory of mankind?


Mister Peduto
sonofsaf

Open up our city Mister Peduto
Open up our city Mister Peduto
Ahi tuna needs weighed
Open up our city Mister Peduto
Running Dick’s Marathon

You're wondering who I am (Pittsburgh, Pittsburgh, I live in Pittsburgh)
Penguin or Pirates fan (Nutting, Nutting, I’m not Bob Nutting)
We fart on the West End (asshole asshole I've got an asshole)
Incline Mt. Warshington (pronounced warsh-ing-tan)

I've got some boob sweat, I’m perspiring, under my teats  
My heart is yinzer, my blood is jag-off, I’m UPMC
So if you hear me talking vaguely, you will surmise
I'm just a man, who never married, lives near Morningside
But I will survive, I won’t take a dive
In you I’ll confide, to keep me alive

I'm not a crock pot, filled with kielbasa, and some perogis (pronounced per-oh!-hees!)
I’m cumming at you, straight down your throat, the semen's from me
I'm not a zero, I ain’t that kosher, you’ll reap what you sow
I'm just a man, whose yinzeritis, went beyond his control  
I’m not a troll, it’s just how I roll
I have no soul, it’s just how I roll

I have a major plan (Pittsburgh Pittsburgh right here in Pittsburgh)
As long as you don’t ask (secret secret I have a secret)
In port-a-jon I wee (pee pee pee pee I gotta pee pee)
My stream urinary

Open up our city, Mister Peduto, open, open
Open up our city, Mister Peduto, open, open
Open up our city, Mister Peduto
Open up our city, Mister Peduto
Open up our city, Mister Peduto
Open up our city, Mister Peduto

Thank you very much, Mister Peduto
Undercover boss, nobody knew you
And thank you very much, Mister Peduto
For fucking everyone with a monster dildo
Fuck you, fuck you, fuck you
I want to fuck you, please, fuck you, oh yeah

The Nutting that I hate, no need to obfuscate
Pirates they irritate, Pirates must masturbate

The cum has come at last (penis penis I've got a penis)
You should have never asked (secret secret I have a secret)
The time has cum for me (jag-off jag-off I’m gonna jack off)
And my machinery!
We’ll kill yinz!  Kill yinz!  Kill yinz!  Kill yinz!

 

Mr. Roboto
Styx

Domo arigato misuta Robotto
Domo arigato misuta Robotto
Mata au hi made
Domo arigato misuta Robotto
Himitsu wo shiritai

You're wondering who I am (secret secret I've got a secret)
Machine or mannequin (secret secret I've got a secret)
With parts made in Japan (secret secret I've got a secret)
I am the modern man

I've got a secret I've been hiding under my skin
My heart is human, my blood is boiling, my brain I.B.M.
So if you see me acting strangely, don't be surprised
I'm just a man who needed someone, and somewhere to hide
To keep me alive, just keep me alive
Somewhere to hide to keep me alive

I'm not a robot without emotions, I'm not what you see
I've come to help you with your problems, so we can be free
I'm not a hero, I'm not a savior, forget what you know
I'm just a man whose circumstances went beyond his control
Beyond my control, we all need control
I need control, we all need control

I am the modern man (secret secret I've got a secret)
Who hides behind a mask (secret secret I've got a secret)
So no one else can see (secret secret I've got a secret)
My true identity

Domo arigato, Mr. Roboto, domo, domo
Domo arigato, Mr. Roboto, domo, domo
Domo arigato, Mr. Roboto
Domo arigato, Mr. Roboto
Domo arigato, Mr. Roboto
Domo arigato, Mr. Roboto

Thank you very much, Mr. Roboto
For doing the jobs nobody wants to
And thank you very much, Mr. Roboto
For helping me escape to where I needed to
Thank you, thank you, thank you
I want to thank you, please, thank you, oh yeah

The problem's plain to see, too much technology
Machines to save our lives, machines dehumanize

The time has come at last (secret secret I've got a secret)
To throw away this mask (secret secret I've got a secret)
Now everyone can see (secret secret I've got a secret)
My true identity
I'm Kilroy! Kilroy! Kilroy! Kilroy!



Styx Concerts:

2-19-04, Capitol Music Hall, Wheeling, WV

8-22-08, Consol Energy Park, Washington, PA (listened outside in the parking lot w/ Becky & Jake)

7-5-09, Wheeling Island Stadium, Wheeling, WV

5-8-15, Stage AE, Pittsburgh, PA

10-2-16, (national anthem) Heinz Field, Steelers vs. Chiefs, Pittsburgh, PA

7-14-18 KeyBank Pavilion, Burgettstown, PA

Please do not share this information with State Representative Ed Gainey, Pittsburgh Mayor Bill Peduto, Styx enthusiasts, UPMC employees, kielbasa and pierogi lovers, and/or Pittsburgh Pirates Owner Bob Nutting.


Saturday, January 30, 2021

#53. Enter Sandman


A couple years ago, on the way in to see Metallica, I casually mentioned to my buddy Eric... "James Hetfield sounds pretty rough these days."  He countered, "I've always thought his vocal style was very underrated."

So fuck all of those self-proclaimed O.G.'s (Original Gangstas). 

This parody is dedicated to the O. B. - the Online Bandit, a/k/a Metal Male, a/k/a Jepsonian.


 

Enter Sandman
sonofsaf

Enter Sandman, Hetfield will scream (bung, bung, bung, bung)
Kirk is a Hammett, guitarist so mean (bung, bung, bung, bung)
Apocalypse, just over and over (bung, bung, bung, bung)
And Kill ‘Em All you know this ain’t Passover
Sandman, I drink alone (bung, bung, bung, bung)
George Thorogood’s not bad to the bone (bung, bung, bung, bung)
It’s an American dream
Enter Sandman, Hetfield will scream

Enter Sandman, Hetfield will scream
Kirk is a Hammett, guitarist so mean
Die by the sword when you are hungover
Apocalypse, just over and over
Sandman, I drink alone
George Thorogood’s not bad to the bone
It’s an American dream
Enter Sandman, Hetfield will scream

Enter Sandman (James) Hetfield will scream
Give him a new disguise it’s not part of a scheme
Give him a metal band not mariachi
Crunch to avoid the Brothers Malachi
Enter Sandman, this might sound bold (this might sound bold)
Might sound so preachy from what I’ve been told
So it’s an American dream
Enter Sandman, Hetfield, James, James, James
Enter Sandman, Hetfield will scream

 

Mr. Sandman
The Chordettes

Mr. Sandman, bring me a dream (bung, bung, bung, bung)
Make him the cutest that I've ever seen (bung, bung, bung, bung)
Give him two lips like roses and clover (bung, bung, bung, bung)
Then tell him that his lonesome nights are over
Sandman, I'm so alone (bung, bung, bung, bung)
Don't have nobody to call my own (bung, bung, bung, bung)
Please turn on your magic beam
Mr. Sandman, bring me a dream

Mr. Sandman, bring me a dream
Make him the cutest that I've ever seen
Give him the word that I'm not a rover
Then tell him that his lonesome nights are over
Sandman, I'm so alone
Don't have nobody to call my own
Please turn on your magic beam
Mr. Sandman, bring me a dream

Mr. Sandman (yes) bring us a dream
Give him a pair of eyes with a "come-hither" gleam
Give him a lonely heart like Pagliacci
And lots of wavy hair like Liberace
Mr. Sandman, someone to hold (someone to hold)
Would be so peachy before we're too old
So please turn on your magic beam
Mr. Sandman, bring us, please, please, please
Mr. Sandman, bring us a dream


Metallica concerts:

11-18-88, Cincinnati Gardens, Cincinnati, OH

6-15-88, Three Rivers Stadium, Pittsburgh, PA (Monsters of Rock)

6-22-88, Rubber Bowl, Akron, OH (Monsters of Rock)

4-16-89, Hara Arena, Dayton, OH

3-26-97, Civic Arena, Pittsburgh, PA

10-18-18, PPG Paints Arena, Pittsburgh, PA

Please do not share this information with James Hetfield, Kirk Hammett, George Thorogood, the Malachi Brothers, any surviving members of The Chordettes, and/or those who celebrate Passover (gotta go hide that fuckin' afikomen).


Friday, January 29, 2021

#52. I Love A Cheney Fight

Interesting that Matt Gaetz (R-FL), a politician from Pensacola would fly to Casper, Wyoming and deliver a scathing speech against fellow Republican Liz Cheney (R-WY).  I mean, it's only been a couple months since the 2020 election.  But if you wish to prove your immeasurable worth to Prolapse L'Orange... hey, it's a viable path forward. 

I certainly understand Trump's desire to destroy the country club, establishment Republicans.  But why Wyoming?  I was surprised to learn, that in 2020, Trump carried Wyoming by nearly 70%.  His highest vote tally percentage across the entire country.  I woulda thought maybe Alabama or Mississippi.  Hmm, maybe the upper midwest (ND, SD, MT, WY, ID)... is becoming the new Republican South... as in elephantiasis.

Regardless, it was fascinating to witness the elevation of "show-biz, win or lose" style politics during the reign of Trump.  Say anything.  Never apologize.  And if you're ever substantively challenged, just hurl insults and change the subject.  And then add some extra ad hominem attacks.  If you can go on Fox News and spout easily digestible, talking point gibberish, you can really make a name for yourself.  It's no wonder all these stodgy backroom Senators --- Toomey (R-PA), Portman (R-OH), etc. are opting to retire.  None of them have ever fared well inside that Fox News cult-like atmosphere.

Dedicated to Liz Cheney.  Hang in there!  May your dear father refrain from taking you on his next bird hunting excursion. 


 

I Love A Cheney Fight
sonofsaf

Well I love a Cheney fight
I love a Cheney fight
Like to pillage and plunder,
It’s so frightenin' when the innocent die.
You know it makes Trump feel good.

I love a Cheney fight,
I’m a woman very white.
I want to feel the pain of my race,
Wasted acid and trips,
Borderline albino.

Towers of Trump will be gone one day.
So fucked up in an orangish way…

'Cause I love a Cheney fight.
I love a Cheney fight.
I love a Cheney fight.
I love a Cheney fight.

I love a Cheney fight.
I love a Cheney fight.
Like to pillage and plunder,
It’s so frightenin' when the innocent die.
You know it makes Trump feel good.

I love a Cheney fight,
I’m a woman very white.
I want to feel the pain of my race,
Wasted acid and trips,
And all the fine dinin’

Gaetz wears a thong which doesn’t seem fine.
But all the while, he’s the scene of the crime…

'Cause I love a Cheney fight.
I love a Cheney fight.
I love a Cheney fight.
I love a Cheney fight.

Towers of Trump will be gone one day.
So fucked up in an orangish way…

'Cause I love a Cheney fight.
I love a Cheney fight.
I love a Cheney fight.
I love a Cheney fight.

I love a Cheney fight
(He just came in my eye)
I love a Cheney fight
(Yeah, don’t ask me why)
I love a Cheney fight
(You know I screw)
I love a Cheney fight.

I love a Cheney fight
(He just came in my eye)
I love a Cheney fight
(Yeah, don’t ask me why)
I love a Cheney fight
(And I’ll fuck you too)
I love a Cheney fight.

I Love A Rainy Night
Eddie Rabbitt

I love a rainy night.
I love a rainy night.
I love to hear the thunder,
Watch the lightnin' when it lights up the skies.
You know it makes me feel good.

I love a rainy night,
It's such a beautiful sight.
I love to feel the rain on my face,
Taste the rain on my lips,
In the moonlight shadow.

Showers wash all of my cares away.
I wake up to a sunny day...

'Cause I love a rainy night.
I love a rainy night.
I love a rainy night.
I love a rainy night.

I love a rainy night.
I love a rainy night.
I love to hear the thunder,
Watch the lightnin' when it lights up the skies.
You know it makes me feel good.

I love a rainy night,
It's such a beautiful sight.
I love to feel the rain on my face,
Taste the rain on my lips,
In the moonlight shinin'.

It puts a song in this heart of mine.
It puts a smile on my face every time...

'Cause I love a rainy night.
I love a rainy night.
I love a rainy night.
I love a rainy night.

Showers wash all of my cares away.
I wake up to a sunny day...

'Cause I love a rainy night.
I love a rainy night.
I love a rainy night.
I love a rainy night.

I love a rainy night
(You see it in my eyes)
I love a rainy night
(Yeah, it makes me high)
I love a rainy night
(You know I do)
I love a rainy night.

I love a rainy night
(You see it in my eyes)
I love a rainy night
(Yeah, it makes me high)
I love a rainy night
(And I love you too)
I love a rainy night.

Never had the privilege of seeing Eddie Rabbitt live in concert.  The closest I ever came was briefly having a rabbit's foot on my key chain in the early 1990's.  Disgusting.  However, I do like the closing Sopranos scene where Artie Bucco prepares a rabbit dish at Vesuvio.

 

Please do not share this information with Representative Liz Cheney (R-WY), former Vice President Dick Cheney, Matt Gaetz (R-FL), former President Donald J. Trump, Senator Pat Toomey (R-PA), Senator Rob Portman (R-OH), actor John Ventimiglia, and/or anyone related to the late musician Eddie Rabbitt.


#51. A.B., I Know You're Gay

Kind of amusing how the two celebrity ex-Steelers, Le'Veon Bell and Antonio Brown, both have an opportunity to win a Super Bowl ring in 2021.  Although I doubt either of them will have a major impact on the game itself.  It's reminiscent of when short yardage running back LeGarrette Blount was exiled from Pittsburgh.  His crime?  Blount was busted for literally smoking a blunt.  By the most vilified cop in the history of the Burgh.  He busted him and Le'Veon Bell on McKnight Rd.  

So then, Blount immediately signs a deal with New England and wins two Super Bowls.  And then signs with Philly and wins a third.  Must be some kind of Rasta thing.  Or being in the wrong place at the right time.  He really owes that Ross Police Township cop a gift of some sort.  Maybe a gift card for that Dunkin' in West View.

I had a very brief A.B. encounter back in the summer of 2017.  I was out for my daily walk over by the city county building.  Anyway, this thumping sports car's desperately trying to make a right on red as if the driver's life is hanging in the balance.  But this semi-homeless, old geezer with a walker was trying to cross the street.  Obviously, the turd driving the vehicle was none other than A.B.  And he was freaking the fuck out.  Pissed off and gesticulating wildly at this poor old dude.  Naturally, he squealed the tires before the guy even made it to the curb.  Nearly ran him over. 


 

A.B., I Know You’re Gay
sonofsaf

Homos suck the dongs and don’t ask why
On the NFL’s grandest stage
Suddenly he learns that he’s not white
Hard at play in Tampon Bay
Don't masturbate
There’s no time to hate

Ooh A.B. I know you’re gay
Faggot A.B. I know you’re gay
Faggot A.B. all night and day

His ass seems to shit and stink and cry
When the Proud Boys stand back stand by
Twitter gives me all the power to whine, whine, whine
I can act in ways that aren’t fine
Don't masturbate
There’s no time to hate

Ooh A.B. I know you’re gay
Faggot A.B. I know you’re gay
Faggot A.B. all night and day

Well don't masturbate
There’s no time to hate

I can see the cum drip down your thighs
Pray the gay, away lies
Crowds in stadiums were so much fun
I wish I had a gun
To shoot someone

Don't masturbate
There’s no time to hate

Ooh A.B. I know you’re gay
Faggot A.B. I know you’re gay
Faggot A.B. all night and day 


Baby, I Love Your Way
Peter Frampton

Shadows grow so long before my eyes
And they're moving across the page
Suddenly the day turns into night
Far away from the city
Don't hesitate
'Cause your love won't wait

Ooh baby I love your way / Ooh AB I think you’re gay
Want to tell you I love your way
Want to be with you night and day

Moon appears to shine and light the sky
With the help of some firefly
Wonder how they have the power to shine, shine, shine
I can see them under the pine
Don't hesitate
Cause your love won't wait

Ooh baby I love your way
Want to tell you I love your way
Want to be with you night and day

Well don't hesitate
Cause your love won't wait

I can see the sunset in your eyes
Brown and gray, blue besides
Clouds are stalking islands in the sun
I wish I could buy one
Out of season

Don't hesitate
Cause your love won't wait

Ooh baby I love your way
Want to tell you I love your way
Want to be with you night and day

 

Let's see here.  Brown signed with the Steelers in 2010 and lasted til 2018.  That's 8 years and 64 home games (excluding preseason and postseason of course).  During that time frame, I'm guessing I've seen him play at Heinz Field probably around 55 times or so.  Plus a few playoff games.  But my favorite memory will always be the doctored Karate Kid knock off video of his punt return against the Browns.  The kick happened right in front of us.  Never gets old. 


Please do not share this material with Tampa Bay wide receiver Antonio Brown, ex Steelers Le'Veon Bell, LeGarrette Blount, Ross Township police, musician Peter Frampton, Ralph Macchio, and/or anyone affiliated with the HBO Cobra Kai series on Netflix.


#50. The Bidens

I occasionally watch Fox News.  Just to see where they're coming from.  But eventually, the excessively obnoxious, badly comedic, snarling skit-oriented character assassination becomes too much to bear.  And I gotta change the channel back to MSNBC or CNN.  Admittedly, those two networks do the same thing.  It's just so much worse on Fox. 

It would seem, that in the aftermath of the Orange Prolapse's overwhelming defeat, Fox is regrouping and leaning hard right.  Getting back to their roots and appealing to the Trumper cult of personality.  I imagine they're worried about OANN and Newsmax poaching their viewers.

Fox always liked to create those "blippish" segments with the hokey music added in.  Here's one that I think would resonate within the Fox News echo chamber.  A very familiar adaptation of The Jetsons theme song, but with Biden family cartoon characters.  Instead of the "car plane," think in terms of being chauffeured around in an electric SUV.  Make the whole thing an innuendo-oriented referendum on the Green New Deal.  In the final scene, George Jetson struts into his office, sits down and puts his feet up on table.  That would naturally be replaced with President Biden walking into the Oval Office and falling asleep at the resolute desk.


 

The Bidens
sonofsaf

Meet Joe Biden
Where is Hunter
Daughter Ashley
Jill his wife

 

The Jetsons

Meet George Jetson
His Boy Elroy
Daughter Judy
Jane his wife

Fox News animators could even consider an alternative second line... "His boy was Beau."  Now would that be considered out of bounds?  Normally yes.  But in the current 'anything goes' political climate, I'm not so sure.  Seriously, would anyone be truly shocked if Tucker Carlson deliberately misquoted Nancy Pelosi's recent comment about "the enemy within" as "her enema within."

Growing up, I never cared much for The Jetsons.  Or cartoons in general for that matter.  But I did have a deep affinity for Speed Racer.  Go figure.  Spridal and his pet monkey Chim Chim just had this resiliently mischievous allure.

Please do not share this information with President Joe Biden, First Lady Jill Biden, Hunter Biden, Ashley Biden, Fox News, and/or former President Donald J. Trump.

 

#49. A.O.C.

Hmm, looks like Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez (D-NY) and that pathetic, gutless, spine-challenged, sycophantic, bearded piece of shit Ted Cruz (R-TX) got some kind of blood feud goin' on.  Take a guess whose side I'm on.

She just said, and I quote... "He almost had me murdered."  How's that for an icebreaker?

A.O.C. --- Here's how to really fuck with Ted Cruz.  The next time you do an interview, say the following statement verbatim:

It's my understanding that Senator Cruz reportedly spoke with Senator Josh Hawley, in the aftermath of the Capitol insurrection... "well, at least no members of Congress got hurt."

Then just pivot into a blistering verbal assault.  Focus on the multiple Capitol Hill police suicides and the 100+ injuries, Covid outbreaks, particularly the cop who lost an eye.  Also, when questioned about the source, go full-on with a diatribe about "Lyin' Ted."  Bring up the "his daddy-killed-JFK" nonsense and the feckless response to Trump's personal attacks on his wife Heidi.  Portray the entire argument as Trump vs. Cruz, not Ocasio-Cortez vs. Cruz.  Use a divide and conquer strategy. 

Dedicated to A.O.C.


 

A.O.C.
sonofsaf

(Joy, joy, joy, joy, joy, joy, joy, joy, joy, joy, joy, joy, joy, joy, joy)

All the Republicans upset
They think I’m really mean
Go ahead and place a bet
I’ll take one for the team
Humans to the right of me
Those humans just ain’t right
They don’t have fun
Ad all so white
Just go fly a kite

'Cause I'm A.O.C., I’ll bring the fight
(A.O.C.) and with all my might
(A.O.C.) I'm a horny toad
(A.O.C.) in frog legs mode

I'm sexy, teen, a sight to be seen
A Green New Deal plan
Ooh, I’ll take it in the long run
Promised Land
So plan for the slaughter
Carve with a knife
Do what you stand for
It’s your afterlife
When they all put me down
Just ‘cause Trump is a clown

'Cause I'm A.O.C., I’ll bring the fight
(A.O.C.) and with all my might
(A.O.C.) I'm a horny toad
(A.O.C.) in frog legs mode

A.O.C., (joy, joy, joy)
A.O.C., (joy, joy, joy)
A.O.C., (joy, joy, joy)
A.O.C., (joy, joy, joy)

A.O.C., (joy, joy, joy), I’ll bring the fight
(A.O.C., joy, joy, joy), and with all my might
(A.O.C., joy, joy, joy), I'm a horny toad
(A.O.C.), in frog legs mode!


T.N.T.
AC/DC

(Oi, oi, oi, oi, oi, oi, oi, oi, oi, oi, oi, oi, oi, oi, oi)

See me ride out of the sunset
On your colour TV screen
Out for all that I can get
If you know what I mean
Women to the left of me
And women to the right
Ain't got no gun
Ain't got no knife
Don't you start no fight

'Cause I'm T.N.T., I'm dynamite
(T.N.T.) and I'll win the fight
(T.N.T.) I'm a power load
(T.N.T.) watch me explode

I'm dirty, mean, and mighty unclean
I'm a wanted man
Public enemy number one
Understand?
So lock up your daughter
Lock up your wife
Lock up your back door
And run for your life
The man is back in town
So don't you mess me 'round

'Cause I'm T.N.T. I'm dynamite
(T.N.T.) and I'll win the fight
(T.N.T.) I'm a power load
(T.N.T.) watch me explode

T.N.T., (oi, oi, oi)
T.N.T., (oi, oi, oi)
T.N.T., (oi, oi, oi)
T.N.T., (oi, oi, oi)

T.N.T., (oi, oi, oi), I'm dynamite
(T.N.T., oi, oi, oi), and I'll win the fight
(T.N.T., oi, oi, oi), I'm a power load
(T.N.T.), watch me explode!

 

AC/DC Concerts:

5-15-88, Civic Arena, Pittsburgh, PA
10-15-88, Civic Center, Wheeling, WV
1-7-09, Mellon Arena, Pittsburgh, PA

Please do not share this information with Representative Alexandria Ocasia-Cortez (D-NY), Senator Ted Cruz (R-TX), Senator Josh Hawley (R-MO), Heidi Cruz, and/or AC/DC fans.  


Thursday, January 28, 2021

#48. She's Jennifer King

Meet Jennifer King.  

 

She's the first ever female coach in the NFL.  Black too.  Don't fret Trumpers.  Rest assured, she's only an assistant running backs coach.  Label me a cynic, but this seems like a deliberate ploy from owner Daniel Snyder.  He's trying to make amends for all those nasty sexual harassment charges levied against the Washington Football Team management.  It's called political correctness.  Rumor has it that Snyder's trying to lure Elizabeth "Pocahontas" Warren away from her day job at the U.S. Senate.

I find it curious that the Orange Prolapse never misspelled Pocahontas.  I'd be willing to wager money that one of his staffers compiled a list of all the nicknames, carefully checked them, and left it conveniently next to his favorite White House toilet.  Just call it a hunch.  Very Stephen Millerish.

Dedicated to Jennifer King.  It's good to see another barrier broken so soon after Kamala Harris.  Sorry you're forced to coach in that cavernous dump.  Fed Ex Field sucks.


She’s Jennifer King
sonofsaf

She’s Jennifer King, a coach for a while
Does not wear a helmet, yeah, she came here in style
It’s good to not die, and drink Royal Crown
It’s good to go swim, just be sure not to drown

Yeah, jewelry’s a thing, oh, if I had bling
A glass of sloe gin with a garnish of lime

She’s Jennifer King, and she’s here to stay
Fed-Ex Field is a dump, where the Redskins still play
And when your Cutty Sarks, and your scotch whiskey stings
Dan Snyder’s a sinner, not Jennifer King

Yeah I will bring, the chicken wings
Can I drink sloe gin with a garnish of lime

She’s Jennifer King, and from what I’ve heard
She has some split ends, her hair has some curls
She wants to make green, maroon all the way
She’s Jennifer King, don’t care what you say

Assistant I am, with contract that’s signed
I will coach, not a crime


It’s Good To Be King
Tom Petty

It's good to be king, if just for a while
To be there in velvet, yeah, to give 'em a smile
It's good to get high and never come down
It's good to be king of your own little town

Yeah, the world would swing, oh, if I were king
Can I help it if I still dream time to time

It's good to be king and have your own way
Get a feeling of peace at the end of the day
And when your bulldog barks and your canary sings
You're out there with winners, it's good to be king

Yeah I'll be king when dogs get wings
Can I help it if I still dream time to time

It's good to be king and have your own world
It helps to make friends, it's good to meet girls
A sweet little queen who can't run away
It's good to be king, whatever it pays

Excuse me if I have some place in my mind
Where I go time to time



 

Redskins games:

9-7-97, Three Rivers Stadium, Pittsburgh, PA

12-16-00, Three Rivers Stadium, Pittsburgh, PA (final game at the stadium)

10-28-12, Heinz Field, Pittsburgh, PA

9-12-16, FedEx Field, Prince George's County, MD

Tom Petty concerts:

8-26-95, Star Lake Amphitheatre, Burgettstown, PA

7-10-01, Post-Gazette Pavilion, Burgettstown, PA

7-16-02, Post-Gazette Pavilion, Burgettstown, PA

6-20-13, Consol Energy Center, Pittsburgh, PA

Please do not share this information with coach Jennifer King, Washington Football team owner Daniel Snyder, former President Donald Trump, Senator Elizabeth Warren (D-MA), Stephen Miller, and/or fans of the late Tom Petty.


#47. Dave Hogg



Marjorie Taylor Greene (R-GA).  What a cunt.  But I digress.

Yep, that's her trying to score points with the domestic terrorist faction of the Republican Party.  I was hoping the Hogg kid would just turn around and spit on her.  Her social media bullshit about Parkland and Sandy Hook being "false flags" was skillfully deleted long ago.

Incidentally, there's a special place in my heart for song titles that are NOT lyrically used in the song.  Also of minimal interest.  Less than a mile from our house is a winery just down the hill in Spring Garden.  It's name is "Hog Dog" winery (located across from the venerable "Pig Bar," which believe it or not, actually has a dome hockey table).  But the strange thing is, at first glance, your mind plays a trick on you.  Everyone thinks it says Hot Dog Winery.  Which actually sounds kinda kitschy.  Like a cigar store Indian.

And just when you think things can't get any worse... here's a bit of miscellaneous, historical, yinzer trivia.  One of the steepest grades in Pittsburgh is nearby Rialto St. which exits Troy Hill.  My wife claims they used to butcher pigs at the top of the hill.  And then they'd roll the "beheaded heads" down Rialto.  It's literally how they rolled.

Dedicated to David Hogg.  My favorite anti-gun activist.  


Hey man, if you ever come across this blog.  For the sake of my parody, please consider calling yourself "Dave" instead of the more formal "David."  Think in terms of Boss Hogg.  You could even bill yourself as "DH squared" (Designated Hitter Dave Hogg).  And if by chance, we ever meet in person, remind me to tell you about "kill speech" and my stampede crap.  You'd make an ideal spokesperson.


 

Dave Hogg
sonofsaf

Hey hey David what you got to prove
Gonna steal your guns, gonna be removed

Ho, ho, holy, bible you shalt cling
Gonna make you learn, gonna fuck right wing.

Hey hey maybe when it’s time to pray
Feel that trigger slip, in grave you’ll lay

Oh yeah, oh yeah, oh, ah, ah
Oh yeah, oh yeah, oh, ah, ah.

I sold my soul, was a thrill
Gotta play the part, so you don’t kill

Choice was mine, dyin’ dead
Want to live, my life instead

Ah ah, ah ah, ah ah, ah ah, ah ah, ah ah, ahhh

Hey, baby, whoa baby, pretty baby
NRA I’ll disavow
Hey, baby, oh baby, pretty baby
NRA we’ll disavow

Parkland kids are strong, there is no doubt
Gun lobby knows what I’m talkin’ bout

It ain’t funny, we’ll go far
Gonna take all your guns we gonna raise the bar

Take it slow, not very bold
The big gun lobby, knows how I roll
Oh yeah, oh yeah, ah, ah, ah
Oh yeah, oh yeah, ah, ah, ah
Should I go or should I stay
I’m gonna blow your brains out, hear what I say
To you humans all across the land
One day you die, it’s all part of the plan
Ah ah, ah ah, ah ah, ah ah, ah ah, ah ah, ahhh.
Ah, yeah! 


Black Dog
Led Zeppelin

Hey hey mama said the way you move
Gonna make you sweat, gonna make you groove

Ah, ah, child, way you shake that thing
Gonna make you burn, gonna make you sting.

Hey hey baby when you walk that way
Watch your honey drip, can't keep away

Oh yeah, oh yeah, oh, ah, ah
Oh yeah, oh yeah, oh, ah, ah.

I gotta roll, can't stand still
Got a flamin' heart, can't get my fill

Eyes that shine, burnin' red
Dreams of you all through my head

Ah ah, ah ah, ah ah, ah ah, ah ah, ah ah, ahhh

Hey, baby, whoa baby, pretty baby
Darlin' makes 'em do me now
Hey, baby, oh baby, pretty baby
Move me like you're doin' now

Didn't take too long 'fore I found out
What people mean by down and out

Spent my money, took my car
Started tellin' her friends she gonna be a star

I don't know, but I been told
A big-legged woman ain't got no soul
Oh yeah, oh yeah, ah, ah, ah
Oh yeah, oh yeah, ah, ah, ah
All I ask for when I pray
A steady rollin' woman won't come my way
Need a woman gonna hold my hand
Tell me no lies, make me a happy man
Ah ah, ah ah, ah ah, ah ah, ah ah, ah ah, ahhh.
Ah, yeah!

 


Led Zeppelin oriented concerts:

3-25-95, Robert Plant & Jimmy Page, Civic Arena, Pittsburgh, PA

6-28-00, Jimmy Page & The Black Crowes, Post-Gazette Pavilion, Burgettstown, PA

Please do not share this information with David Hogg, Marjorie Taylor Greene (R-GA), employees of Hog Dog Winery, the Pig Bar faithful, Jerry Seinfeld and/or anyone who owns a cigar store Indian.

 


#46. It's Not Easy Being Greene

Is it just me, or does Margorie Taylor Greene (R-GA) kinda got a Miss Piggy thing goin' on?


 

Of course, the Orange Prolapse is orange... not green.  But I think most rational people will get the gist of where I'm coming from.


 

It’s Not Easy Being Greene
sonofsaf

It's not that easy being Greene
Calling everyone gay
And Congressional thieves
When I think it could be nicer
Being white, and paler, and old
Or someone much less colorful than that

It's not easy being Greene
Not a mortal sin
With so many Trumpers waiting in the wings.
And Donald says it will blow over
But he can’t tweet no doubt
White trashy with a trophy wifer
We want him to die

But Greene’s the mother of none
And Greene is a tool and maybe a dyke
And Greene doesn’t squirt like a fountain
A vaginal squirting river
All for you and me

When Greene just wants to pee on me
It could make you blunder bye
Bye-bye blunder? Bye blunder
I’m Green that House seat’s mine
 It's Congressional
And my conspiracies are for me


It’s Not Easy Being Green
Kermit the Frog

It's not that easy being green
Having to spend each day
The color of the leaves
When I think it could be nicer
Being red, or yellow or gold
Or something much more colorful like that

It's not easy being green
It seems you blend in
With so many other ordinary things
And people tend to pass you over
Cause you're not standing out
Like flashy sparkles in the water
Or stars in the sky

But green's the color of Spring
And green can be cool and friendly-like
And green can be big like the ocean
Or important like a mountain
Or tall like a tree

When green is all there is to be
It could make you wonder why
But why wonder? Why Wonder
I am green and it'll do fine
It's beautiful
And I think it's what I want to be

 

Just for the record, I vaguely remember seeing a Sesame Street Live performance at the Wheeling Civic Center.  But it was way back in the day.

Please do not share this information with Margorie Taylor Greene (R-GA), former President Donald Trump and/or viewers of Sesame Street.


#45. Greene Hell

Go to (Greene) Hell!


Greene Hell
sonofsaf

Here in Congress lies the woman of meth
Hit it, suck it
Whoa
Here in Congress I will not be your friend
Hit it, fuck it
Greene hell

You suck my dick like right wing should
I’ll fuck your ass and come inside it
And fuck you with a big fat chicken wing
I’ll fuck your brains out all the time in Hell
It’s what you’ll learn in hell
Greene hell

Like Taylor hell Margorie Greene
In hell, Greene hell
We're gonna cum on your face
In hell, Greene hell
I think I’m not so queer down here in hell
In hell, Greene hell
You know I’ll fuck your ass apart
In hell, Greene hell

It doesn’t matter how much you pray
Greene hell
Fuck you like a doggy in heat
In hell, Greene hell
Hell is Greene, I think I came
In hell, Greene hell
You will learn in hell
Greene hell

You suck my dick like right wing should
I’ll fuck your ass and come inside it
And fuck you with a big fat chicken wing
You suck my dick like right wing should fake it

Here in Congress lies the woman of meth
Hit it, suck it
Whoa
Here in Congress I will not be your friend
Hit it, fuck it
Greene hell

You suck my dick like right wing should
I’ll fuck your ass and come inside it
And fuck you with a big fat chicken wing
I’ll fuck your brains out all the time
You suck my dick like right wing should
I’ll fuck your ass and come inside it
You’re gonna learn in hell
Greene hell

 

Never seen The Misfits.  But I do like the Metallica cover.

Metallica concerts:

11-18-88, Cincinnati Gardens, Cincinnati, OH

6-15-88, Three Rivers Stadium, Pittsburgh, PA (Monsters of Rock)

6-22-88, Rubber Bowl, Akron, OH (Monsters of Rock)

4-16-89, Hara Arena, Dayton, OH

3-26-97, Civic Arena, Pittsburgh, PA

10-18-18, PPG Paints Arena, Pittsburgh, PA

Do not share this information with Margorie Taylor Greene (R-GA), former President Donald Trump, and/or Metallica fans.



#44. Greene Trumparooni

Gotta go with the Judas Priest version.


 

Greene Trumparooni
sonofsaf

Now when the people are sheep, conspiracy kooks
Then the mob will attack, that’s how it’ll work
And all the tweeting abounds, fucking with the government me and you

Won’t concede til there’s blood, it will be rad
Some posting online, driving the fake news mad
Trying to make them scream, faking all my tweets MSNBC

Cause you're the Greene Trumparooni and a dumb ass clown
Conspiracy whazzup, take Pelosi on down
Fomenting the mob, with tips today
Inciting fear, cumming on your face swallowing you  

 

Green Manalishi
Judas Priest

Now when the day goes to sleep and the full moon looks
And the night is so black that the darkness cooks
And you come creeping around, making me do things I don't want to do

Can't believe that she needs my love so bad
Come sneaking around, trying to drive me mad
Busting in all my dreams, making me see things I don't want to see

Cause you're the Green Manalishi with the two-pronged crown
All night dragging us up, or you're bringing us down
Just taking my love, and slip away
Leaving me here, summing on your face swallowing you


 

Judas Priest concerts:

8-28-04, Post-Gazette Pavilion, Burgettstown, PA

8-16-08, Post-Gazette Pavilion, Burgettstown, PA


Do not share this information with Marjorie Taylor Greene (R-GA), former President Donald J. Trump, and/or fans of Judas Priest.


#43. Smells Like Greene Sprirt

Democrats should take a cue out of the Trumpian playbook.  It's no longer about politics, truth, and justice.  It's all about regurgitated branding.  So here's a thought.  As of yesterday, only 5 Senate Republicans could summon the courage to vote that the Orange Prolapse's second impeachment trial was NOT unconstitutional.  The new movement afoot is to merely censure Trump.  Which essentially means nothing.  It just means Trump did something bad and we condemn his actions/behavior.  As if he'd give a shit.

So the vast majority of the Republican Senate is still embedded in the crotch of Trump.  Despite having lost the Senate, the House and the presidency.  If I were the Dems, I'd make them own it

Currently, Trump's biggest supporter is the Q-Anon nutcase Margorie Taylor Greene (R-SC).  She likes to wear masks that say stuff (when required by law).

    


Here's my suggestion.  Construct a "meme collage" with her sporting some additional masks.  Tagged with the following question.  "Which masks are real?"  The other masks should read: 

DEPORT KAMALA

PARKLAND SUCKS

PRO-LIFE

GUNHUB.COM

BIDEN LOST

BUILD THE WALL

Trust me, easily digestible disinformation is the wave of the foreseeable future.  You can't just simply erase the last 4-5 years of Trump.  So long story short, if I was DNC Chairman Jaimie Harrison, I'd consider embracing the Trump playbook.

Dedicated to the vigilant meme makers or as I like to call them... "memers."


Smells like Greene Spirit
Nirvana

We love our guns, must defend
We will cause and recommend
She's so forward and untoward
Oh no, she drives a pickup Ford

Ammo, ammo, ammo, ya know
Ammo, ammo, ammo, dildo
Ammo, ammo, ammo, Jim Crow
Ammo, ammo, ammo

Get the pole out, it is Festivus
Holiday now, for the rest of us
Tinsel’s stupid, will distract us
Holiday now, for the rest of us
A McDonald’s, Lou Albano, some risotto, I’m on keto
Yeah, hey

I'm so short but have a chest
My tits are fake you’ll be impressed
And when I dupe send out fake news
The money comes from all the Jews

Ammo, ammo, ammo, ya know
Ammo, ammo, ammo, dildo
Ammo, ammo, ammo, Jim Crow
Ammo, ammo, ammo

Get the pole out, it is Festivus
Holiday now, for the rest of us
Tinsel’s stupid, will distract us
Holiday now, for the rest of us
A McDonald’s, Lou Albano, some risotto, I’m on keto
Yeah, hey

And you should bet that I’m two-faced
Oh yeah, I think I will defile
Fuck me less hard, it’s hard to suck
Oh well, whatever, what the fuck

Ammo, ammo, ammo, ya know
Ammo, ammo, ammo, dildo
Ammo, ammo, ammo, Jim Crow
Ammo, ammo, ammo

Get the pole out, it is Festivus
Holiday now, for the rest of us
Tinsel’s stupid, will distract us
Holiday now, for the rest of us
A McDonald’s, Lou Albano, some risotto, I’m on keto
Not on trial, not on trial, not on trial, not on trial, not on trial
Not on trial, not on trial, not on trial, not on trial

 

Smells like Teen Spirit
Nirvana

Load up on guns, bring your friends
It's fun to lose and to pretend
She's over-bored and self-assured
Oh no, I know a dirty word

Hello, hello, hello, how low
Hello, hello, hello, how low
Hello, hello, hello, how low
Hello, hello, hello

With the lights out, it's less dangerous
Here we are now, entertain us
I feel stupid and contagious
Here we are now, entertain us
A mulatto, an albino, a mosquito, my libido
Yeah, hey

I'm worse at what I do best
And for this gift I feel blessed
Our little group has always been
And always will until the end

Hello, hello, hello, how low
Hello, hello, hello, how low
Hello, hello, hello, how low
Hello, hello, hello

With the lights out, it's less dangerous
Here we are now, entertain us
I feel stupid and contagious
Here we are now, entertain us
A mulatto, an albino, a mosquito, my libido
Yeah, hey

And I forget just why I taste
Oh yeah, I guess it makes me smile
I found it hard, it's hard to find
Oh well, whatever, never mind

Hello, hello, hello, how low
Hello, hello, hello, how low
Hello, hello, hello, how low
Hello, hello, hello

With the lights out, it's less dangerous
Here we are now, entertain us
I feel stupid and contagious
Here we are now, entertain us
A mulatto, an albino, a mosquito, my libido
A denial, a denial, a denial, a denial, a denial
A denial, a denial, a denial, a denial
 

 

 

Never saw Nirvana.  However, I did see Courtney Love's "hole" at the 1995 Lollapalooza.  She sounded pretty rough.

 7-31-95, Star Lake Amphitheater, Burgettstown, PA

Do not share this information with Margorie Taylor Greene (R-GA), former President Donald Trump, DNC Chairman Jaimie Harrison, Courtney Love, and/or fans of Nirvana.

Wednesday, January 27, 2021

#42. Fuck You Tom Cotton

A list of Senator Tom Cotton's military awards and decorations for his service in Iraq & Afghanistan:


Combat Infantry Badge.svg  Combat Infantryman Badge
US Army Airborne basic parachutist badge-vector.svg  Parachutist Badge
AirAssault.svg  Air Assault Badge
Ranger Tab.svg Ranger Tab
Combat service identification badge of the 101st Airborne Division.png 101st Airborne Division Combat Service ID Badge
506 Inf Rgt DUI.jpg 506th Infantry Regimental Distinctive Insignia
Bronze Star Medal
Bronze oak leaf cluster
Army Commendation Medal (with Oak Leaf Cluster)
Army Achievement Medal
Air Force Achievement Medal
National Defense Service Medal
Bronze star
Bronze star
Afghanistan Campaign Medal (with two Campaign Stars)
Bronze star
Iraq Campaign Medal (with Campaign Star)
Global War on Terrorism Service Medal
Army Service Ribbon
Overseas Service Ribbon
NATO Medal

Normally, I would NEVER question the bravery or patriotism of an individual who joins the United States military.  But all of those distinctions seem relatively worthless if you lack the courage to denounce the insurrection at the Capitol.  After all, isn't your fundamental obligation, as a sitting U.S. Senator, to be in direct opposition to acts of domestic terrorism.  Instead, you stand with the Orange Prolapse.  

It's called putting politics ahead of country.  Trump first... God somewhere in the the middle... country last.  And THAT is the Cotton hierarchy.



Fuck You Tom Cotton
sonofsaf


I see you on Fox News to settle a score
Never give a fuck about the poor
What about that chicken hawkin’ crazy sound
You’re always floatin’ around this D.C. town
Why are you always reachin’ and lookin’ kinda thin
I’m tired of your teachin’
It's politics ’til the end

Fuck you Tom Cotton all the shit you say
The situation is so dire
You’re always below the fray
Fuck you Tom Cotton you can go to hell
In you I’ll never confide
The tall tales you wanna sell
It’s not about bein’ so god damn partisan
Fuck you Tom Cotton

You spew all your crap on Sean Hannity
Try to take advantage of apathy
Use a coat hanger it’s the abortion way
One hundred percent pro life all the live long day
You know that embryo gonna scrape with all my might
The morning after pill just know that I am white

Fuck you Tom Cotton all the shit you say
The situation is so dire
You’re always below the fray
Fuck you Tom Cotton you can go to hell
In you I’ll never confide
The tall tales you wanna sell
It’s not about bein’ so god damn partisan
Fuck you Tom Cotton

You claim to be a soldier
So what you fightin’ for?
And all the bodies were dismembered
Won’t settle any score

Fuck you Tom Cotton promises not filled
Song written exercise it’s a Pennsylvania yield
Fuck you Tom Cotton until the crack of dawn
It don’t matter ‘bout the cost
Cuz the left will carry on
It’s not about bein’ so god damn partisan
Fuck you Tom Cotton

Fuck you Tom Cotton
Fuck you Tom Cotton

 

Have You Forgotten
Darryl Worley

I hear people saying we don't need this war
I say there's some things worth fighting for
What about our freedom and this piece of ground
We didn't get to keep 'em by backing down
They say we don't realize the mess we're getting in
Before you start your preaching
Let me ask you this my friend

Have you forgotten how it felt that day
To see your homeland under fire
And her people blown away
Have you forgotten when those towers fell
We had neighbors still inside
Going through a living hell
And you say we shouldn't worry 'bout Bin Laden
Have you forgotten

They took all the footage off my TV
Said it's too disturbing for you and me
It'll just breed anger that's what the experts say
If it was up to me I'd show it everyday
Some say this country's just out looking for a fight
After 9/11 man I'd have to say that's right

Have you forgotten how it felt that day
To see your homeland under fire
And her people blown away
Have you forgotten when those towers fell
We had neighbors still inside
Going through a living hell
And you say we shouldn't worry 'bout Bin Laden
Have you forgotten

I've been there with the soldiers
Who've gone away to war
And you can bet that they remember
Just what they're fighting for

Have you forgotten all the people killed
Some went down like heros in that Pennsylvania field
Have you forgotten about our Pentagon
All the loved ones that we lost
And those left to carry on
Don't you tell me not to worry about Bin Laden
Have you forgotten

Have you forgotten
Have you forgotten


I've never seen Darryl Worley perform live in concert.  And odds are that I never will.

Please do not share this information with Senator Tom Cotton (R-AR), former President Donald Trump, Fox News host Sean Hannity, country musician Darryl Worley, and/or anyone who has served in Iraq and/or Afghanistan.