Sunday, January 03, 2021

#3. Braunee

Once again, I find myself in a position where I'm gonna need a new word.  The English language doesn't have a word that accurately encapsulates "political pornography."  So I'm just going to call this stuff "poligraphy."  Not to be confused with polygraphy.

Indiana Senator Mike Braun (R) is one of "Trump's chumps."  Along with macho man Ted Cruz, Marsha Marsha Marsha Blackburn, and a few others from the Trump AssClown parade, Braun is going to challenge the 2020 presidential election results on January 6. 

He's among a growing list of Republican Senators that are infinitely petrified of the Orange Prolapse.  

So here's a thought.  Instead of ruminating about existential hypothetical conundrums... instead of using ethereal messaging to describe a grotesque cabal of sycophantic politicians tinkering with our democracy and exploiting widespread apathy and indifference... instead of... well, you get the drift.  Since these 11 Republicans feel so passionate about their cause, here's my question.

"Senator Braun:  Millions of Americans have proudly served in our military.  A great number have fought for our democracy and made the ultimate sacrifice.  As a member of the United States Senate, it appears you're trying to disqualify votes from U.S. citizens in certain states, subvert our democratic process and alter the trajectory of our country, potentially rendering future elections meaningless.  Potentially turning our country into an autocracy or dictatorship." 

Senator Braun, "Do you believe it's acceptable to spit, piss and shit on the graves of dead American soldiers?" 

Seems like fair game to me.

Dedicated to Larry David.  Your karaoke version of "Swanee" was my inspiration.


Braunee
sonofsaf

I’m hooked into the taxpayer dime.
My government is worth the dough.
I wanna feel
Your caucus deal.
Fuck you I gotta pee.
Hoosiers on Broadway Steven Sondheim.
Your mouth is humming blow and go.
You’re not a Jew
(butt) you’ll fuck me too
Braunee, you’re cleaning me.

Braunee, Indiana, Indiana
You’re not from Pawnee.
Schmucks pay the world for me
Congress we joke in WASH-ING-TON-D-
See you in my jammies
Bating on me,
Gaying on me
All on the Braunee.
The paper towels will dry me no more
I am Senator Braunee whore.

I piss on our dead soldiers.

Braunee, Indiana, Indiana
You’re not from Pawnee.
Schmucks pay the world for me
Congress we joke in WASH-ING-TON-D-
See you in my jammies
Bating on me,
Gaying on me
All on the Braunee.
The paper towels will dry me no more
I am Senator Braunee whore.

Swanee
Al Jolson

I've been away from you a long time.
I never thought I'd miss you so.
Somehow I feel
Your love is real.
Near you I want to be.
The birds are singing it is song time.
The banjo's strumming soft and low.
I know that you
Yearn for me too.
Swannee, you're calling me.

Swanee, how I love you, how I love you
My dear old Swanee.
I give the world to be
Among the folks in D-I-X-I-
Even though my mammy's
Waiting for me,
Praying for me
Down by the Swanee.
The folks up north will see me no more
When I get to that Swanee shore.

I miss the old folks at home.

Swanee, how I love you, how I love you
My dear old Swanee.
I give the world to be
Among the folks in D-I-X-I-
Even though my mammy's
Waiting for me,
Praying for me
Down by the Swanee.
The folks up north will see me no more
When I get to that Swanee shore.


Funny side note:  All this crap really puts Mike Pence in an awkward position.  And it kinda bums me out.  Yinz might be skeptical but I have a vested interest in seeing Pence become POTUS in 2024.  If for no other reason than to just hear the First Lady referred to as "Mother."  Hey, she could be the #1MILF!  You know, as opposed to just the boring hashtag #MILF.  She has put herself in a missionary position to conceivably become the greatest Mother Fucker in the entire history of the United States of America!  Saffy like!

Do not share this information with President Donald Trump, Senator Mike Braun (R-IN), Vice President Mike Pence and/or his mother.

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