We enjoyed the virtual inauguration last night. Talk about a flawless production. The quality and conceptual delivery was really impressive. A stark contrast from the Trump era of hastily assembled tweety videos. Wow! Look at that huge crowd! One big massive thong, er uh, throng. Here's a killer idea - let's show the single file line that goes all the way around the block. It just keeps going and going. Now let's show them entering the venue in fast forward so it magnifies the impact. Horray! #winning
A decent article in the National Review pretty much sums up the last four years. Witless Ape Rides Helicopter.
The Foo Fighters played an acoustic/rocker version of "Times Likes These" last night. It got me to thinking how I have yet to take a stab at a Dave Grohl parody. So I googled their songs, and of course, up pops Monkey Wrench. This one goes out to arguably the greatest catcher in MLB history... The Big Red Machine's Johnny Bench.
sonofsaf
Why does my dick have impotence?
My sperm is down tonight the count is not immense
He was never president
Lightning rod invented by Franklin, Benjamin.
He is dead
He is dead
He is dead
I know my name is Johnny Bench
I never practiced abstinence
I'd rather shit than take a piss
You know my name is Johnny Bench
All these losses to avenge
What do you wear when all your diapers are Depends?
Now and then I need a cleanse
Under pressure, Freddie Mercury is dead
He is dead
He is dead
He is dead
I know my name is Johnny Bench
I never practiced abstinence
I'd rather shit than take a piss
You know my name is Johnny Bench
On a bench is a good place to sit
Most benches are made of wood and are often found in neighborhoods
I will buy a bench and sit on it til I’m dead
And all the wood that’s made from paper, trees, and shit
Still, there's one place my ass should be
It’s on a wooden bench for you and me
I know my name is Johnny Bench
I never practiced abstinence
I'd rather shit than take a piss
You know my name is Johnny Bench
I know my name is Johnny Bench (ball three, strike out)
I know my name is Johnny Bench (ball three, strike out)
I know my name is Johnny Bench (ball three, strike out)
I know my name is Johnny Bench
Monkey Wrench
Foo Fighters
What have we done with innocence?
It disappeared with time, it never made much sense
Adolescent resident
Wasting another night on planning my revenge
One in ten
One in ten
One in ten
Don't wanna be your monkey wrench
One more indecent accident
I'd rather leave than suffer this
I'll never be your monkey wrench
All this time to make amends
What do you do when all your enemies are friends?
Now and then I'll try to bend
Under pressure, wind up snapping in the end
One in ten
One in ten
One in ten
Don't wanna be your monkey wrench
One more indecent accident
I'd rather leave than suffer this
I'll never be your monkey wrench
Temper One last thing before I quit
I never wanted any more than I could fit into my head
I still remember every single word you said
And all the shit that somehow came along with it
Still, there's one thing that comforts me
Since I was always caged and now I'm free
Don't wanna be your monkey wrench
One more indecent accident
I'd rather leave than suffer this
I'll never be your monkey wrench
Don't wanna be your monkey wrench (fall in, fall out)
Don't wanna be your monkey wrench (fall in, fall out)
Don't wanna be your monkey wrench (fall in, fall out)
Don't wanna be your monkey wrench
Foo Fighters concerts:
7-9-03, Chevrolet Amphitheatre, Pittsburgh, PA
7-26-08, Peterson Events Center, Pittsburgh, PA
9-23-11, Consol Energy Center, Pittsburgh, PA
8-25-15, First Niagara Pavilion, Burgettstown, PA
7-19-18, PPG Paints Arena, Pittsburgh, PA
That show back in 2003 was easily my favorite. Although I think the majority of their newer material sounds a bit stale (more filler-oriented), nothin' beats the energy of a good ol' fashioned Foo Fighters concert. I've never understood how Dave Grohl can scream like that, night after night.
Do not share this information with the Biden administration, Hall of Fame catcher Johnny Bench, any members of the Foo Fighters, and/or those who sit on benches.
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