#25. Inauguration

Feel free to ask my wife the following question.  "What inspires your husband to write all of that crap?"  She'll likely reply, "Well, he likes it when I read his material.  Plus, he knows the FBI keeps tabs on his shit.  He just thinks they deserve a "breath of fresh air" from time to time.

So this parody is written from the perspective of Donald Trump.  It's a synopsis of his thoughts while on Air Force One... as he exits Big Warshington DC (as opposed to Lil' Warshington PA).  And settles down South further away from me.  Hey!  The farther, the better.

And now, a very rare surprise.  An exclusive glimpse into the future.  The sneakiest preview since Nike, the god of footwear, wore small shoes.  It's one of the 200 final exam questions from my forthcoming book about the destruction of humanity.

Saf's pet nickname for Donald J. Trump is:

A.  Big Orange Retard
B.  Orange Prolapse
C.  Tropicana Fucktard
D.  Mar-A-Lardo
E.  Uncle Jemima

The answer is "B" of course.  I'm still debating whether to purchase the domain name.  Not sure if I want to go down that rabbit hole.  Then again, it is less than 20 bucks a year.  That's a pretty good rate of return in terms of "emotional and spiritual utility."  Tell you what - if someone wants to design the thing, I'll bankroll it.  The premise is really straightforward.  Regrettably, I've just never been too skilled with the whole photoshop gig.  The website's simply a mission statement with a collection of comparing/contrasting photos allowing for feedback.  I'll write the captions.  Anyway, if you're interested, just drop me a line.  Along that same line, I'm kinda surprised nobody has snatched up Ivankunt.com.  It's still out there.  Could be some long term merit in there... somewhere.  I like the phrasing in terms of a "before and after" question on Jeopardy.  Donald Trump's daughter AND a derogatory term for vagina.

Dedicated to the crew of Air Force One.  Can anyone truly fathom the indignity of being required, as part of your job description, to kiss the asses of all the Trumpers who boarded that plane during the past 4 years? 
 

 

Inauguration
sonofsaf

Last call for boarding on Air Force One
Finished up my term is done
Giving a speech at Fort Andrews Base
The last four years was a huge disgrace

Brought us down to a place so dark
Might be a jail term sentence things fell apart
Tweeted and lied in ways so depraved
All on the biggest and the grandest stage

Oh no team Biden
Do what they should
There’s a great big plan
Inauguration
Inauguration
Inauguration
Inauguration

Bein’ the Prez ain’t too much fun
Still played golf in oblivion
Final days of my term I wouldn’t speak
Staged that coup was a really bad deed

Oh no team Biden
Do what they should
There’s a great big plan
Inauguration
Inauguration
Inauguration
Inauguration
Inaugurate me baby

When I lost a part of me died
We shed a little blood on that thin red line
Fund raise money never concede
Back to McDonald’s is where I’ll feed

Oh no team Biden
Do what they should
There’s a great big plan
Inauguration
Inauguration
Inauguration
Inauguration
Rev it up

Infatuation
Rod Stewart

Early in the morning I can't sleep
I can't work and I can't eat
I've been drunk all day, can't concentrate
Maybe I'm making a big mistake

Caught me down like a killer shark
It's like a railroad running right through my heart
Jekyll and Hyde the way I behave
Feel like I'm running on an empty gauge

Oh no not again
It hurts so good
I don't understand
Infatuation
Infatuation
Infatuation
Infatuation

Heart beats silly like a big bass drum
Losing all equilibrium
It's so hard in the middle of the week
Maybe this woman's just all I need

Oh no not again
It hurts so good
I don't understand
Infatuation
Infatuation
Infatuation
Infatuation
'Fatuate me baby

Spirits soar when I'm by her side
She put a little love in this heart of mine
Maybe I'm lucky, maybe I'm freed
Maybe this woman's just all I need

Oh no not again
It hurts so good
I don't understand
Infatuation
Infatuation
Infatuation
Infatuation
Rev it up

 

Rod Stewart:

8-11-18, PPG Paints Arena, Pittsburgh, PA

Surprisingly, I've seen Rod Stewart only once.  The show easily exceeded my expectations.  But the more I thought about it, he had that lengthy residency at Caesar's Palace in Vegas.  So the guy obviously has his shit down pat.  Great charisma and choreography.  Consummate professional.  Tight band.  And he opened the show with Infatuation!

Do not share this information with President Joe Biden, ex-President Donald Trump, the Federal Bureau of Investigation, musician Rod Stewart, and/or the crew members of Air Force One.