#48. She's Jennifer King

Meet Jennifer King.  

 

She's the first ever female coach in the NFL.  Black too.  Don't fret Trumpers.  Rest assured, she's only an assistant running backs coach.  Label me a cynic, but this seems like a deliberate ploy from owner Daniel Snyder.  He's trying to make amends for all those nasty sexual harassment charges levied against the Washington Football Team management.  It's called political correctness.  Rumor has it that Snyder's trying to lure Elizabeth "Pocahontas" Warren away from her day job at the U.S. Senate.

I find it curious that the Orange Prolapse never misspelled Pocahontas.  I'd be willing to wager money that one of his staffers compiled a list of all the nicknames, carefully checked them, and left it conveniently next to his favorite White House toilet.  Just call it a hunch.  Very Stephen Millerish.

Dedicated to Jennifer King.  It's good to see another barrier broken so soon after Kamala Harris.  Sorry you're forced to coach in that cavernous dump.  Fed Ex Field sucks.

She’s Jennifer King
sonofsaf

She’s Jennifer King, a coach for a while
Does not wear a helmet, yeah, she came here in style
It’s good to not die, and drink Royal Crown
It’s good to go swim, just be sure not to drown

Yeah, jewelry’s a thing, oh, if I had bling
A glass of sloe gin with a garnish of lime

She’s Jennifer King, and she’s here to stay
Fed-Ex Field is a dump, where the Redskins still play
And when your Cutty Sarks, and your scotch whiskey stings
Dan Snyder’s a sinner, not Jennifer King

Yeah I will bring, the chicken wings
Can I drink sloe gin with a garnish of lime

She’s Jennifer King, and from what I’ve heard
She has some split ends, her hair has some curls
She wants to make green, maroon all the way
She’s Jennifer King, don’t care what you say

Assistant I am, with contract that’s signed
I will coach, not a crime

It’s Good To Be King
Tom Petty

It's good to be king, if just for a while
To be there in velvet, yeah, to give 'em a smile
It's good to get high and never come down
It's good to be king of your own little town

Yeah, the world would swing, oh, if I were king
Can I help it if I still dream time to time

It's good to be king and have your own way
Get a feeling of peace at the end of the day
And when your bulldog barks and your canary sings
You're out there with winners, it's good to be king

Yeah I'll be king when dogs get wings
Can I help it if I still dream time to time

It's good to be king and have your own world
It helps to make friends, it's good to meet girls
A sweet little queen who can't run away
It's good to be king, whatever it pays

Excuse me if I have some place in my mind
Where I go time to time

 

Redskins games:

9-7-97, Three Rivers Stadium, Pittsburgh, PA

12-16-00, Three Rivers Stadium, Pittsburgh, PA (final game at the stadium)

10-28-12, Heinz Field, Pittsburgh, PA

9-12-16, FedEx Field, Prince George's County, MD

Tom Petty concerts:

8-26-95, Star Lake Amphitheatre, Burgettstown, PA

7-10-01, Post-Gazette Pavilion, Burgettstown, PA

7-16-02, Post-Gazette Pavilion, Burgettstown, PA

6-20-13, Consol Energy Center, Pittsburgh, PA

Please do not share this information with coach Jennifer King, Washington Football team owner Daniel Snyder, former President Donald Trump, Senator Elizabeth Warren (D-MA), Stephen Miller, and/or fans of the late Tom Petty.