#31. The Mitch is Back

Welcome to the third installment of the Mitch McConnell human turtle trilogy.

Dedicated to the guy who wore the white MC Hammer-oriented pants at Star Lake concerts.  He used to juggle bowling pins at Star Lake near the back of the lawn and sometimes give out glow sticks.

I thoroughly enjoyed watching him perform while Elton John sang Rocket Man.  If that makes me gay, so be it. 

The Mitch is Whack
sonofsaf

He’s Kentucky fried, not talkin’ jive
Great disdain, when liberals cry
Virus raging that you might contract
But therapeutics gonna getcha cuz the Mitch is whack
(No-no-no)

Ate Chao main today, outta site
He eats Asian pussy when the time is right
Titty fuck that chest with the nipple hooch
She’s my cabinet squeezing the cum from her cooch
(Ooh-ooh-ohh)

He’s the Mitch, He’s the Mitch, oh, the Mitch is whack
Big time mumbler, with a face that’s so cracked
He’s the Mitch, He’s the Mitch, legislatin’ for you
It’s the way that he grooves, like a turtle or two, oh-oh-oh

He’ll strategize, it’s in his eyes
Sold his soul, for chicken thighs
The Senate blows, my God, yer fat?
Oh, he’ll fuck you like a rabbit cuz the Mitch is whack
(Oh-oh-oh)

He’s the Mitch, he’s the Mitch, oh, the Mitch is whack
Big time mumbler, with a face that’s so cracked
He’s the Mitch, he’s the Mitch, legislatin’ for you
It’s the way that he grooves, like a turtle or two, oh-oh-oh

He’s the Mitch, he’s the Mitch, oh, the Mitch is whack
Big time mumbler, with a face that’s so cracked
He’s the Mitch, he’s the Mitch, legislatin’ for you
It’s the way that he grooves, like a turtle or two, oh-oh-oh

Mitch, Mitch, Mitch is whack
Mitch, Mitch, Mitch is whack
Mitch, Mitch, Mitch is whack
Mitch, Mitch, Mitch is whack
Mitch, Mitch, Mitch is whack
Mitch, Mitch, Mitch is whack
Mitch, Mitch, Mitch is whack
Mitch, Mitch, Mitch is whack

 

The Bitch is Back
Elton John

I was justified when I was five
Raising Cain, I spit in your eye
Times are changing now the poor get fat
But the fever's gonna catch you when the bitch gets back
(Oh-oh-oh)

Eat meat on Friday, that's alright
I even like steak on a Saturday night
I can bitch the best at your social do's
I get high in the evening sniffing pots of glue
(Ooh-ooh-ooh)

I'm a bitch, I'm a bitch, oh, the bitch is back
Stone-cold sober, as a matter of fact
I can bitch, I can bitch 'cause I'm better than you
It's the way that I move, the things that I do, oh-oh-oh

I entertain by picking brains
Sell my soul by dropping names
I don't like those, my God, what's that?
Oh, it's full of nasty habits when the bitch gets back
(Oh-oh-oh)

I'm a bitch, I'm a bitch, oh, the bitch is back
Stone-cold sober, as a matter of fact
I can bitch, I can bitch 'cause I'm better than you
It's the way that I move, the things that I do, oh-oh-oh

I'm a bitch, I'm a bitch, oh, the bitch is back
Stone-cold sober, as a matter of fact
I can bitch, I can bitch 'cause I'm better than you
It's the way that I move, the things that I do, oh-oh-oh

Bitch, bitch, bitch is back
Bitch, bitch, bitch is back
Bitch, bitch, bitch is back
Bitch, bitch, bitch is back
Bitch, bitch, bitch is back
Bitch, bitch, bitch is back
Bitch, bitch, bitch is back
Bitch, bitch, bitch is back 

Elton John concerts:

Elton John, 6-11-99, Star Lake Amphitheatre, Burgettstown, PA
Elton John, 3-23-11, Consol Energy Center, Pittsburgh, PA
Elton John, 9-18-12, Wesbanco Arena, Wheeling, WV
Elton John, 10-10-18, PPG Paints Arena, Pittsburgh, PA

Please do not share this information with Senate Minority Leader Mitch McConnell (R-KY), Ex-Secretary of the Department of Transportation Elaine Chao, Elton John, and/or those who routinely consume chicken chow mein.