#2. The Hawley Jolly Litmus

Hmm, it seems as though the freshman Republican Senator Josh Hawley from Missouri doesn’t like the way people voted here in Pennsylvania.  And Wisconsin.  And Michigan.  And Georgia.  And Arizona.  And maybe North Carolina.  On January 6, 2021, he’s going to try and steal my vote.  Well I don’t like the sound of that.  Hey, if you’re gonna have a Trump litmus test for the entire Congress, why bother with an election in the first place?

And if that doesn’t alarm you… well, it should.  What if I travel to Missouri and Josh Hawley demands to see my butthole?  After all there’s a reason they call it the “show me state.”  (I often see this renegade yinzer dude on the North Side who always wears a ball cap that reads “Show Me Your Butthole”).

 

Dedicated to all Missouri voters who wish to put the "Christ back in Christmas."

The Hawley Jolly Litmus
sonofsaf

Take the Hawley, jolly litmus
It’s the best test have no fear
It don’t matter what you know
Support our leader dear

Take the Hawley jolly litmus
And make sure to go and tweet
Hey dumbo, don’t eat that crow
Don’t go down in defeat
Lie, oh just like a pro
Truth won’t set you free
A bloody thing to do
Side with Trump and me
Take the Hawley jolly litmus
Don’t worry ‘bout your career
Oh by golly, take the Hawley jolly litmus (test)
No fear
(Take the Hawley jolly litmus
It's the best test have no fear)

Take the Hawley jolly litmus
And make sure to go and tweet
Hey dumbo, don’t eat that crow
Don’t go down in defeat
Lie, oh just like a pro
Truth won’t set you free
A bloody thing to do
Side with Trump and me
Take the Hawley jolly litmus
Don’t worry ‘bout your career
Oh by golly, take the Hawley jolly litmus (test)
No fear

 

A Holly Jolly Christmas
Burl Ives

Have a holly, jolly Christmas
It's the best time of the year
I don't know if there'll be snow
But have a cup of cheer

Have a holly, jolly Christmas
And when you walk down the street
Say hello to friends you know
And everyone you meet
Oh, ho the mistletoe
Hung where you can see
Somebody waits for you
Kiss her once for me
Have a holly, jolly Christmas
And in case you didn't hear
Oh by golly have a holly jolly Christmas
This year / no fear
(Have a holly, jolly Christmas
It's the best time of the year)

Have a holly, jolly Christmas
And when you walk down the street
Say hello to friends you know
And everyone you meet
Oh, ho the mistletoe
Hung where you can see
Somebody waits for you
Kiss her once for me
Have a holly, jolly Christmas
And in case you didn't hear
Oh by golly have a holly jolly Christmas
This year

 

Do not share this information with United States President Donald Trump or U.S. Senator Josh Hawley (R-MO).