#35. Rand Paul

This morning, I watched a very heated exchange between Senator Rand Paul (R-KY) and George Stephanopoulos on the weekly ABC Sunday Morning Hullabalooza.  Rand was both testy and zesty... to say the least.  My hunch is that he has learned an invaluable lesson from the Orange Prolapse.  After all, over the last four years, the rules of the game have changed.  Absolutely ANYONE can act like a complete douchebag, asshole, urinary blizzard, excremental piece of shit.  The precedent was set by the president.

So back in 2017, an old geezer neighbor beat the living shit outta Rand Paul while he was mowing his lawn.  What's peculiar is that they both lived in a very prestigious, gated community.  Not the kinda place you'd expect to see a UFC ground and pound throw down.  Rand ended up having 6 broken ribs and a small section of his lung removed.  And of course, the obligatory neck brace.  Crutches too (not pictured).

(E-gad!  Looks like my buddy Hostile Golfer)

Dedicated to Rand Paul.  Stand tall... you conniving Trumper bitch. 

Rand Paul
sonofsaf

Never knew a Jew
Never had a milkshake at Steak’n’Shake
But then again, my neighbor left my ribs so sore

The grass clippings blowed
Onto the property he was cleaning
He’s just so holier than thou, it’s time to settle the score

Rand Paul, don't you brawl oh, didn’t know you were a nudist
You're kneeling and you cannot run, you’re curly hair has dried
Rand Paul, show your balls. Didn’t know you were a masturbator
You're kneeling and you cannot run, you’re curly hair has dried

Shouldn’t have worn that thong
My crack and such - was good and plenty
I just can't believe his name was Rene Boucher

Sometimes there’s a fight
When we watch old episodes of The Sopranos
I'd cut off Ralphie’s head and bury it and pray

Rand Paul, don't you brawl oh, didn’t know you were a nudist
You're kneeling and you cannot run, you’re curly hair has dried
Boucher’s take down lost some lung for ya, Rene
Rand Paul, show your balls. Didn’t know you were a masturbator
You're kneeling and you cannot run, you’re curly hair has dried

 

Stand Tall
Burton Cummings

Never been this blue
Never knew the meaning of a heartache
But then again, I've never lost at love before

Somewhere down the road
Maybe all these years will find some meaning
I just can't think about it now, or live 'em out anymore

Stand tall, don't you fall oh, don't go and do something foolish
You're feeling it like everyone, it's silly human pride
Stand tall, don't you fall. Don't go do something you'll regret later
You're feeling it like everyone, it's silly human pride

Never lasted so long
Or through so much - or through so many
I just can't believe you could throw it all away

Sometimes late at night
When there's nothing here except my old piano
I'd almost give my hands to make you see my way

Stand tall, don't you fall oh, don't go and do something foolish
You're feeling it like everyone, it's silly human pride;
You got me down on my knees for ya, mama
Stand tall, don't you fall. Don't go do something you'll regret later
You're feeling it like everyone, it's silly human pride 

 

Never seen Burton Cummings in concert.  And I doubt I ever will.

Please do not share this information with Senator Rand Paul (R-KY), former President Donald J. Trump, assailant Rene Boucher, Joe Pantoliano, and/or patrons of Steak'n'Shake (which my wife happens to hate).  Just for the record, as far as the major fast food chains go, I think Steak'n'Shake is pretty damn good.