#5. Ossoff

Honest injun!  I mean, I'm being serious.  Who among us wouldn't like to see Georgia Democratic Senate candidate Jon Ossoff sporting a pair of assless chaps? 

 Uh, just try to extrapolate.

That being said, I prefer most of my senatorial seekers covered up.  Whatever the case, Ossoff could really use a catchy campaign slogan. "Get your OSS OFF to the polls."  Or how about "Vote your OSS OFF?"

Come this Tuesday, with the entire Senate precariously hanging in the balance, it'll be interesting to see if either of the Democrats successfully pulls out a narrow victory.  Either way, there's gonna be some tight margins.  Not to mention firm, proud buttocks.  When Ossoff takes the stage at any future press conferences or speeches, I'm giving him permission to use my Prince spoof.  And yeah, I realize it might be a bit "too saucy" for the average Georgia voter.  But what the hell!  Drastic times call for drastic measures.

Dedicated to Senator David Perdue (R-GA).

No need for the entire song.  Here's the intro.

Ossoff
sonofsaf

How can I ask for all your votes as I would like to defend and serve
But there’s a Republican in my way gonna get what he deserves
They say he likes the suppression thing, Georgia, all the day long
Tough runnin’ as a Democrat when the state’s Republican strong

Ossoff: (Multiple positions in an election)
Ossoff: (I'll demand a recount of all the votes on hand)
Ossoff: (Let a Trumper be a Trumper not a fan not a fan)
Ossoff: (I need your vote, Georgia, here I am) Here I am

I fucked the shit out of Repubs until that Loeffler bled (Bled)
Left her in a state of agony and made her face all red (Red)
Something about a voting booth with a dildo and a cunt bedside (Yeah)
When she changed her vote to Democrat, a part of her it died (Ooh)

Ossoff: (Multiple positions in an election)
Ossoff: (I'll demand a recount of all the votes on hand)
Ossoff: (Let a Trumper be a Trumper not a fan not a fan)
Ossoff: (I need your vote, Georgia, here I am) Here I am

Gett Off
Prince

How can I put this in a way so as not to offend or unnerve?
But there's a rumour goin' all around that you ain't been gettin' served
They say that you ain't "You know what" in, baby, who knows how long
It's hard for me to say what's right when all I wanna do is wrong

Gett off: (Twenty three positions in a one night stand)
Gett off: (I'll only call you after if you say I can)
Gett off: (Let a woman be a woman and a man be a man)
Gett off: (If you want to, baby, here I am) Here I am

I clocked the jizz from a friend of yours named Vanessa Bet (Bet)
She said you told her a fantasy that got her all wet (Wet)
Something about a little box with a mirror and a tongue inside (Yeah)
What she told me then got me so hot, I knew that we could slide (Ooh)

Gett off: (Twenty three positions in a one night stand)
Gett off: (I'll only call you after if you say I can)
Gett off: (Let a woman be a woman and a man be a man)
Gett off: (If you want to, baby, here I am) Here I am

Prince Concerts:

9-20-97, Civic Arena, Pittsburgh, PA

4-14-04, Mellon Arena, Pittsburgh, PA

Do not share this information with U.S. Senator David Perdue (R-GA), U.S. Senator Kelly Loeffler (R-GA), U.S. Senate Candidate Jon Ossoff (D-GA) and/or U.S. Senate Candidate Raphael Warnock (D-GA).