Wednesday, April 12, 2023

#1806. Soprano Fans

Dedicated to last year's winning head coach. 


Super Bowl LVII: Chiefs beat the Eagles 38-35.

 


 

Soprano Fans
sonofsaf

Webistics stock pump and dump display
T. bets Meadow Gold for the win
Don’t stop believin’ in Smoosh baby
Casino was Mohunk Indian

T. says, “Brooklyn and Philly’s the enemy
Captain Vito sure really blows
Johnny Cakes and his meat
Are made in-house to eat
Both love sausage more than you know”

New Jersey strong we’re the Soprano fans
New Jersey strong that’s right
Well Carmella has food for a recipe
The Garden State’s ready to fight

At the Bada Bing Georgie’s outta line
That ice doesn’t grow on trees
On those routes don’t sell coke if you like artichokes
Orientals love rice they’re Chinese

T says, “Sil, you will be my consigliere.”
All the while Lil’ V’s a basket case
“He’ll shit in the shower behavior bizarre
Puerto Rican whore of a face.”

Now Tony and Aid well they nearly kissed
So Chrissy would threaten Tone's life
Her ovaries a maybe, her uterus good gravy
She was damaged goods for a wife

Mr. Mob Boss in a bathrobe is very pissed
Danny Baldwin ends up getting owned
The sacred and propane there’s a crucifix
Pork Store Killer’s now Cleaver you know

New Jersey strong we’re the Soprano fans
New Jersey strong that’s right
Well Carmella has food for a recipe
The Garden State’s ready to fight

Defiler used to be Visiting Day
And Uncle Junior’s awaiting trial  
Vito blows cock for free despite his wife Marie
In gay bars leather chaps are the style

And the Sopranos are very remarkable
And Miss Meadow knows Vito’s a queer
He sucks dick in a car spotted in a fag bar
Sal asked, “What the fuck you doing here?”

New Jersey strong we’re the Soprano fans
New Jersey strong that’s right
Well Carmella has food for a recipe
The Garden State’s ready to fight


 

Piano Man
Billy Joel

It's nine o'clock on a Saturday
The regular crowd shuffles in
There's an old man sitting next to me
Making love to his tonic and gin

He says, "Son can you play me a memory
I'm not really sure how it goes
But it's sad and it's sweet
And I knew it complete
When I wore a younger man's clothes."

Sing us a song you're the piano man
Sing us a song tonight
Well we're all in the mood for a melody
And you've got us feeling alright

Now John at the bar is a friend of mine
He gets me my drinks for free
And he's quick with a joke or to light up your smoke
But there's someplace that he'd rather be

He says, "Bill, I believe this is killing me."
As a smile ran away from his face
"Well, I'm sure that I could be a movie star
If I could get out of this place."

Now Paul is a real estate novelist
Who never had time for a wife
And he's talking with Davy, who's still in the Navy
And probably will be for life

And the waitress is practicing politics
As the businessmen slowly get stoned
Yes they're sharing a drink they call "Loneliness"
But it's better than drinking alone

Sing us a song you're the piano man
Sing us a song tonight
Well we're all in the mood for a melody
And you've got us feeling alright

It's a pretty good crowd for a Saturday
And the manager gives me a smile
'Cause he knows that it's me they've been coming to see
To forget about life for a while

And the piano it sounds like a carnival
And the microphone smells like a beer
And they sit at the bar and put bread in my jar
And say, "Man, what are you doing here?"

Sing us a song you're the piano man
Sing us a song tonight
Well we're all in the mood for a melody
And you've got us feeling alright





One of my better parodies.  It's pretty tight.

Question:  Back in the early 90's, precisely how many times did I hear drunken Wheeling Jesuit College kids close down The Alpha with a rousing rendition of Piano Man?

Answer:  Too many.  To this very day, I place a fair amount of blame on the jukebox itself.

From 1972 to 2022, Billy Joel has played the Burgh an impressive 22 times.


Billy Joel:

3-4-99, Civic Arena, Pittsburgh, PA

2-21-14, Consol Energy Center, Pittsburgh, PA

7-1-16, PNC Park, Pittsburgh, PA


Feel free to share this material with Wheeling Jesuit College graduates and Sopranos enthusiasts.


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