Regardless of what anyone says...
.webp)
And guess what?
And so are Musk Dumps! Elon!
Trumpin’ & Dumpin’
sonofsaf
One big scam, that toilet turd, excrement violence.
He’s sold and bought, a tiny mushroom for her cunt.
Daughter-wife’s a Jew, daughter clit bitch*,
Electioneers and shit’s unwise to poll,
Forty-five’s brave, freedom to hate’s part of his con
Donald’s Trumpin’ & Dumpin’
An Orange Prolapse fart,
Trumpin’ & Dumpin’
Is cause for alarm.
Last ditch plan, Joe Biden’s family pardon.
Dead reckoning, Stormy Daniels wears a damn thong.
Oh so wrong, to fuck you, open up wide your anal cave.
Forty-five’s brave with the exception of his bone spurs fake.
Donald’s Trumpin’ & Dumpin’
An Orange Prolapse fart,
Trumpin’ & Dumpin’
Is cause for alarm.
That toilet turd is lying,
MAGA’s inbred,
The essence of shit is dumpin’.
Donald’s Trumpin’ & Dumpin’
An Orange Prolapse fart,
Trumpin’ & Dumpin’
Is cause for alarm.
Garden Of Eden
Paula Cole
Here I am, a black-eyed bird, remaining silent.
I simply watch, your little life from high above.
Wanting to call you, wanting to sing,
Inside your ears and lips and eyes and soul,
I dig my grave, behind the gates of Babylon.
There's a Garden of Eden
In your distant heart,
Garden of Eden
In your earthly arms.
Here I stand, a serpent queen of the garden.
I'm beckoning, but you ignore my siren song.
Oh I long, to touch you, to step inside your sacred gate.
I'll dig my grave in the middle of golden bible snake.
There's a Garden of Eden
In your distant heart,
Garden of Eden
In your earthly arms.
The black-eyed bird is dying,
The queen is dead,
She'll never step foot in Eden.
There's a Garden of Eden
In your distant heart,
Garden of Eden
In your earthly arms.
* - a lengthy excerpt from the Labor chapter of my odd, oh biography.
So the time seemed right to re-enroll in school (West Liberty State College) and finish my degree. But I still needed a job. Enter the famed West Virginia Troopers Association and their notorious Bears Against Drugs program. This was nothing more than a glorified telemarketing organization which sold "holiday inspired gift assortments" manufactured by a company called Smoky Mountain Secrets based out of Knoxville, Tennessee. When selecting which gift box, the options were plentiful. The jellies and preserves were the most common choice. Not a fan of gelatinous substances or even speaking the word "jelly," I would normally push the steak sauces and seasonings. This seemed more conducive to the overall sales pitch. Other options included overpriced mustard, costly salad dressings and the much heralded fruit syrups. Despite all the exquisite culinary choices, the entire operation was barely legitimate. I wouldn't call it a complete scam though. At least you got some jars of jam. I spent over 3 years calling residents throughout northern West Virginia and Eastern Ohio. Between carrying a full class load, working about 30 hours a week and partying my ass off, it was a rough ride. But observing employee behavior helped see me through.
Most of the employees had the ability to speak extemporaneously, but from time to time they'd hire someone who could neither read nor write. Our boss had a simple hiring policy. Keep all the phones manned and push the shit out. One memorable employee was this guy Neck Tattoo. Neck Tattoo was very passionate but incapable of reading the fallback script. And his communicative abilities were noticeably subpar. Occasionally customers would pose the question, "Where does the money go?" This was an edgy question because the entire operation was always under legal scrutiny. When confronted with "what do you do with the money" here was the preferred response... "Some of the proceeds are used to purchase small teddy bears. We place them in all the troopers' cruisers so if they come upon a child who has been traumatized in an accident, we can give them a teddy bear. Ma'am, just clutching that teddy bear helps calm and reassure the child until a professional can tend to their emotional needs." Keep in mind, this response was for people with minimal communication skills.
Well, during his brief time with Bears Against Drugs, Neck Tattoo was on the receiving end of the infamous "where does the money go" question. I was seated nearby. Let me do my best to recreate the conversation.
Elderly Woman: "I'm just curious. What do you do with the proceeds?"
Neck Tattoo: "Yes ma'am, the money goes to the troopers."
Elderly Woman: "Could you please be more specific?"
Neck Tattoo starts to lightly perspire: "Troopers give 'em Teddy Hug-A-Bear."
Elderly Woman (speaking in a frail tone): "I don't know what you mean."
An agitated but confident Neck Tattoo: "Yes ma'am, they give 'em Hug-A-Bear. It makes 'em understand."
Elderly Woman: "Excuse me?"
Neck Tattoo (lurching into the phone): "Hug-A-Bear! They get Hug-a-Bear!"
Elderly Woman: "Huh?"
A suddenly irate and exasperated Neck Tattoo jumps to his feet. He places the phone directly perpendicular to his mouth and screams at the top of his lungs, "Hug-A-Bear! I said Hug-A-Bear! It makes 'em understand ma'am. Trooper give 'em Hug-A-Bear! Makes 'em understand!"
At this moment and utterly clueless, the frightened elderly woman chose to hang up. A flabbergasted Neck Tattoo turns to me and says, "The bitch didn't want no jellies."
Another employee was the reclusive Whiskey Thermos. Whiskey Thermos was an ill-tempered man. He had an unusual demeanor. Calm and reserved yet prone to excessive and disconnected cursing.
For example, as he strolled to the restroom he'd mutter, "I can't believe it's already fucking god damn dark outside. Daylight savings shit." Or when pouring a cup of coffee, he would say, "We're outta creamer again. What the fuck am I supposed to do? Cum in it?"
But one shining moment really stood apart from the rest. His daughter had come to pick him up at the end of the night. "He looked at her and casually inquired, "Why you late you daughter clit bitch?" Was the genitalia reference necessary? Yes, for him, I believe it was.
The Bears Against Drugs operation folded the following year. I got the impression that similar programs elsewhere came under attack from the attorneys general of neighboring states. So I took all this acquired wisdom and experience and set out on my own.
From 1995 to the present, Paula Cole has played the Burgh a grand total of 6 times.
Paula Cole:
7-25-98, Star Lake Amphitheatre, Burgettstown, PA (H.O.R.D.E. Festival)
So what did H.O.R.D.E. actually mean? Good question. The acronym stood for Horizons Of Rock Developing East (Coast Tour).
The Big Lie 100: (#2137)
#3000. Kash (Stash --- Phish)
#3001. Keith Sonderling (Jesus Is King --- Selah)
#3002. Bannon (Cannon --- Jack White)
#3003. Kash (Trash --- New York Dolls)
#3004. Ashley Moody (Call Of Duty --- Anvil)
#3005. Kash (Trash --- Silverchair)
#3006. TikTok (Bangkok --- Destroyer)
#3007. Michael Vrabel (God Is Able --- Planetshakers)
#3008. Kristi Lynn Noem (Autumn In Rome --- Tony Bennett)
#3009. Noem (Rome --- Destroyer)
#3010. Mulligan's Big Lie (Mulligan's Big Lie --- Lin Manuel Miranda)
#3011. Kristi Lynn Noem (Under A Dome --- Of Monsters And Men)
#3012. Hegseth (Macbeth --- Frank Turner & Jon Snodgrass)
#3013. Trumpin' & Dumpin' (Garden Of Eden --- Ratt)
#3014. Trumpin' & Dumpin' (Garden Of Eden --- Harem Scarem)
#3015. Trumpin' & Dumpin' (Garden Of Eden --- Paula Cole)
Please do not share this material with President Donald J. Trump.
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