#3020. Jeff Van Drew

Yesterday, the Orange Prolapse praised Congressman Jeff Van Drew (R-NJ) for his hatred of windmills.

 

Yes!  The Garden State has finally won its war on stupidity!!!!

Well, except for the fact that Kamala Harris won New Jersey by 6 pts. in the 2024 election.

 

Jeff Van Drew
sonofsaf

Orange Prolapse is so fake and gay
He’s an anal screw
Trumpin’ dump in his Towers hey
New Jersey Rep is Jeff Van Drew
Jersey Rep is Jeff Van Drew

And upon the greatest stages
Trump’s a comic book
For all intents and purposes
Forty-seven’s a dope and crook
Forty-five’s a dope and crook
A Trumpin’ Dumpin’ crook
Fuck MAGA

Trump is bullshit, Trump’s a coward
New Jersey Rep is Jeff Van Drew
And he’s blowing tiny mushroom
Mother fuckin’ MAGA
Jeff Van Drew
Mother fucker, Jeff Van Drew

A Quarter Pound is not okay
Nor is a kosher Jew
McDonald’s is beef stroke-it-off*
Trump’s daughter-wife’s a fucking Jew
She is a god damn Jew
Kushner is a fucking Jew

But Trump is bullshit, Trump’s a coward
New Jersey Rep is Jeff Van Drew
And he’s blowing tiny mushroom
Mother fuckin’ MAGA
Jeff Van Drew
A mother fucker, Jeff Van Drew

Orange Prolapse is so fake and gay
And he’s an anal screw
Trumpin’ Dump in his Towers MAGA
New Jersey Rep is Jeff Van Drew
Jersey Rep is Jeff Van Drew

But Trump is bullshit, Donald’s a coward
New Jersey Rep is Jeff Van Drew
And he’s blowing tiny mushroom
Mother fuckin’ MAGA
Jeff Van Drew
Mother fucker, Jeff Van Drew
Mother fucker, Jeff Van Drew
Mother fucker, Jeff Van Drew

Jeff Van Drew
Trumpin’ Dump in his Towers MAGA
Intents and purposes
Jersey Rep is Jeff Van Drew
Jersey Rep is Jeff Van Drew
Jersey Rep is Jeff Van Drew

Thru And Thru
Rolling Stones

You know that we do take-away
We deliver too
Open 24 hours babe
Just waiting on a call from you
Waiting on a call from you

Well I'm in the yellow pages
You just take a look
Look me up under services
You know it's just an open book
Babe it's just an open book
It's just an open book
Well, baby

Any minute, any hour
I'm waiting on a call from you
And you know this heart is constant
I'm your lover, baby
Thru and thru
Lover, baby, thru and thru

I only found out yesterday
I heard it on the news
What I heard really pissed me off
Cause now I got those fucking blues
I got those awesome blues
Babe I got those nothing blues

But any minute, any hour
I'm waiting on a call from you
And you know this heart is constant, baby
I'm your lover, baby
Thru and thru
Your lover, baby, thru and thru

You know that we do take-away
That we deliver, too
We're open 24 hours, baby
We're waiting on a call from you
Waiting on a call from you

But any minute, baby, any hour
I'm waiting on a call from you
You know that this heart is constant
I'm your lover, baby
Thru and thru
Lover, baby, thru and thru
Lover, baby, thru and thru
Lover, baby, thru and thru

Thru and thru
We're open 24 hours, baby
It's under services
Waiting on a call from you
Waiting on a call from you
Waiting on a call from you

* - An ex-girlfriend's uncle from Tyler, TX paid a visit to Wheeling in 1991.  He had a prepared joke that he couldn't wait to share.  "Do you know what they call a masturbating cow in Texas?"

"Beef stroke-it-off!"

He then proceeded to laugh hysterically while repeatedly slapping his thigh.   Very HeeHaw-ish.  

I've always had this strange contempt for parents who name their male children after cities in Texas (Tyler, Dallas, Houston, Austin, etc.).  Though there are two exceptions.  Lubbock if the kid's gonna be a fatso.  And Waco, if the kid will likely suffer from mental illness.

My second parody of Thru And Thru.  A couple years ago, I penned #1697.  Jew For You (paying homage to the financial success of the great Jared Kushner)

From 1964 to the present, the Stones have played the Burgh a grand total of 11 times.

Rolling Stones:

9-29-94, Three Rivers Stadium, Pittsburgh, PA

9-28-05, PNC Park, Pittsburgh, PA

6-20-15, Heinz Field, Pittsburgh, PA

7-4-15, Indianapolis Motor Speedway, Indianapolis, IN

10-4-21, Heinz Field, Pittsburgh, PA

5-7-24, State Farm Stadium, Glendale, AZ

 

The first season was decent.  But it was the second season that truly set the stage... for the greatest dramatic series in the history of television.

The Big Lie 100: (#2142)

#3000.  Kash (Stash --- Phish)

#3001.  Keith Sonderling (Jesus Is King --- Selah)

#3002.  Bannon (Cannon --- Jack White)

#3003.  Kash (Trash --- New York Dolls)

#3004.  Ashley Moody (Call Of Duty --- Anvil)

#3005.  Kash (Trash --- Silverchair)

#3006.  TikTok (Bangkok --- Destroyer)

#3007.  Michael Vrabel (God Is Able --- Planetshakers)

#3008.  Kristi Lynn Noem (Autumn In Rome --- Tony Bennett)

#3009.  Noem (Rome --- Destroyer)

#3010.  Mulligan's Big Lie (Mulligan's Big Lie --- Lin Manuel Miranda)

#3011.  Kristi Lynn Noem (Under A Dome --- Of Monsters And Men)

#3012.  Hegseth (Macbeth --- Frank Turner & Jon Snodgrass)

#3013.  Trumpin' & Dumpin' (Garden Of Eden --- Ratt)

#3014.  Trumpin' & Dumpin' (Garden Of Eden --- Harem Scarem)

#3015.  Trumpin' & Dumpin' (Garden Of Eden --- Paula Cole)

#3016.  Kristi Noem (Heart Of Rome --- Elvis Presley)

#3017.  Ivanka's A Cunt (Memories Of Love --- Chicago)

#3018.  The J-6 Hostages (Song For The Hostages --- Five For Fighting)

#3019.  Stormy D.'s A Cunt (Memory Of Love --- Elton John)

#3020.  Jeff Van Drew (Thru And Thru --- Rolling Stones)

Please do not share this material with Jeff Van Drew (R-NJ)  and/or President Donald J. Trump.