#4097. Value Meal

McDonald's Corporation (MCD: $270.95 a share) is hosting a patriotic "Name Our Next Burger" contest.

 

Reminds me of the Lays Potato Chip "Do Us A Flavor" promotion.  Which we totally deserved to win.

Hint: Spicy Bloody Mary.

Butt we got fucked.

Anyhoo, winner gets a lifetime supply of value meals.

I'm proposing the "McProlapse"... a bulging, meaty, colonic burger of unheralded proportions.  It's HUGE!

Yum.

Or the MAGA McWeiner Dog.

Butt just for the record, I do think it's understandable to sympathize with monster-dicked porn stars who experience Peyronie's Disease.  #empathy

 

Value Meal
sonofsaf

Donald’s gay McValue meal
His cock’s a tiny choice
Shittin’ with the Proud Boys
Cash advance with JD Vance
Donald’s gay McValue meal

Donald’s gay
Butt so devout
Net worth Donald shitshow 
Butt he’s worth the job to blow 
So gay Trump’s gay hip hip hooray
Donald’s gay McValue meal

Let’s stop the steal
And make a deal

Butt he’s worth the job to blow  
So gay Trump’s gay hip hip hooray
Donald’s gay McValue meal

So much winning to defend
Orange Prolapsin’ clown
He raped E. Jean Carroll
A piece of shit
Lee Greenwood bible sales 
The tycoon of total fraud
Iran must make a deal

Donald’s gay
Butt so devout
Net worth Donald shitshow 
What he’s worth a job to blow 
So gay Trump’s gay hip hip hooray
Donald’s gay McValue meal

Iran will feel his mushroom deal

 

Gates Of Steel
Devo

Twist away the gates of steel 
Unlock the secret voice 
Give in to ancient noise 
Take a chance a brand new dance 
Twist away the gates of steel 

Twist away 
Now twist and shout 
The earth it moves too slow 
But the earth is all we know 
We pay to play the human way 
Twist away the gates of steel 

A man is real 
Not made of steel 

But the earth is all we know 
We pay to play the human way 
Twist away the gates of steel 

The beginning was the end 
Of everything now 
The ape regards his tail 
He's stuck on it 
Repeats until he fails 
Half a goon and half a god 
A man's not made of steel 

Twist away 
Now twist and shout 
The earth it moves too slow 
But the earth is all we know 
We pay to play the human way 
Twist away the gates of steel 

A man is real that's how he feels

My second parody of Gates Of Steel.  Five years ago I penned #10.  Gaetz Ordeal. 

From 1981 to 2011, DEVO has whipped the Burgh a grand total of 6 times.

DEVO:

7-19-97, Star Lake Amphitheater, Burgettstown, PA (Lollapalooza)


8-4-10, Celeste Center, Ohio State Fair, Columbus, OH


6-17-11, Stage AE, Pittsburgh, PA

8-20-26, The Pavilion at Star Lake, Burgettstown, PA 

The Big Lie 100:

#3952.  Stormy D. (Valerie --- Steve Winwood)

#3953.  Stormy D. (Stand By Me --- Ben E. King)

#3954.  Delaney Hall (Once And For All --- Hell Is For Heroes)

#3955.  Bari Weiss (Edelweiss --- The Sound Of Music)

#3956.  Bari Weiss (Pay The Price --- Twisted Sister)

#3957.  Wes Climer (Tree Climber --- Stellar Kart)

#3958.  Donald Is Very Gay (Drivin' My Life Away --- Eddie Rabbit)

#3959.  Carrie Buck (What The Fuck --- Bill Wurtz)

#3960.  The Donald's Big Lie (No Woman, No Cry --- Bob Marley)

#3961.  Glassman (Madman --- Crippled Black Phoenix)

#3962.  Glassman (Madman --- Silverchair)

#3963.  Hern (Learn --- Ari Hest)

#3964.  Trump Derangement Syndrome (Fading Kitten Syndrome --- ROAR) 

#3965.  John Wahl (The Wall --- Alok & Sevenn)

#3966.  Jackson (Jackson --- Dave Barnes)

#3967.  Jackson (Jackson --- Lucinda Williams)

#3968.  John Wahl (The Wall --- Willie Nelson)

#3969.  Celeste Maloy (Helen Of Troy --- Orchestral Manoeuvres In The Dark)

#3970.  Rick Jackson (To Jackson --- The Cribs)

#3971.  Reflecting Pool (Too Cool For School --- Fountains Of Wayne)

#3972.  J.D. Vance (Capri Pants --- Bikini Kill)

#3973.  J.D. Vance (Take A Chance --- Brother Cane)

#3974.  James (Games --- Ryan Adams)

#3975.  James (Games --- The Strokes)

#3976.  John James Is Boneless (Who Claims The Soulless --- Danzig)

#3977.  Mike Mazzei (Stir Crazy --- Unlike Pluto)

#3978.  Bruce Blakeman (Awaken --- Big Wild)

#3979.  Oberacker (Jacob's Ladder --- Bruce Springsteen)

#3980.  Kennedy (Jealousy --- Spoon)

#3981.  Steiner (Miner --- Kara's Flowers)

#3982.  Trump Is A Cunt From The Right (Ain't Even Done With The Night --- John Cougar Mellencamp)

#3983.  David Steiner (Granny Diner --- Grizzly Bear)

#3984.  Reflecting Pool (We Rule The School --- Belle & Sebastian)

#3985.  Oberacker (Jacob's Ladder --- Patrick Wolf)

#3986.  Oberacker (Jacob's Ladder --- Anne Murray)

#3987.  Bill Pulte (Bird Of Prey --- The Doors)

#3988.  Bill Pulte (Bird of Prey --- Army Of Lovers)

#3989.  Bill Pulte (New Year's Day --- U2)

#3990.  Steiner (Miner --- Kara's Flowers)

#3991.  Keep On Rowing (Keep on Growing --- Grateful Dead)

#3992.  Crank (Blank --- Smashing Pumpkins)

#3993.  John James (Head Games --- Foreigner)

#3994.  David Steiner (All Night Diner --- Taylor Swift)

#3995.  Downing (Drowning --- Stereophonics)

#3996.  The Immaculate Concussion (The Immaculate Rejection --- sonofsaf)

#3997.  Mitch (Bitch --- The Vaselines)

#3998.  Mitch (Bitch --- Stephen Lynch)

#3999.  Mitch (Bitch --- Yeah Yeah Yeahs)

#4000.  Tayvis (Save Us --- King's X)

#4001.  Sacrifice (Vincent Price --- Deep Purple)

#4002.  Save America Act (As A Matter Of Fact --- Babyface)

#4003.  Tiny Mushroom Trump Accounts (A Collection Of Accounts --- Superchunk)

#4004.  Trump Accounts (Shake Break Bounce --- The Chemical Brothers)

#4005.  Trump's Sacrifice (My Sacrifice --- Creed)

#4006.  Graham Platner (deli platter --- Johnny Utah)

#4007.  Shotwell (Bombshell --- Operation Ivy)

#4008.  The MAGA Meltdown (The Final Countdown --- Europe)

#4009.  Shotwell (Unwell --- Surf Curse)

#4010.  Lindsey Graham (Heather Graham --- Da Vinci's Notebook)

#4011.  Freedom Fuel (Rocket Fuel --- Alvin Lee)

#4012.  Mitch McConnell (Horizontal --- Bee Gees)

#4013.  Nancy Mace (Face To Face --- David Allan Coe)

#4014.  Darline (Darlene --- The Lumineers)

#4015.  Mike Lindell (NFL --- sonofsaf)

#4016.  Governor Stitt (Lickety Split --- Spiderbait)

#4017.  Hegseth (Deep Breath --- 32 Leaves)

#4018.  Pete Hegseth (The Black Death --- Something Rotten Broadway Musical)

#4019.  TNT (T.N.T. --- AC/DC)

#4020.  Orange Prolapse Fart (Kickstart My Heart --- Motley Crue)

#4021.  Big Lie Coup D'etat Was Wild (If I Ever Was A Child --- Wilco)

#4022.  Pickaxe Mountain (Sugar Mountain --- Neil Young)

#4023.  Governor Stitt (Lickety Split --- Devandra Banhart)

#4024.  Andy Biggs (Truffle Pigs ---  Matthew Goodman Band)

#4025.  Hegseth (Deep Breath --- The Sound)

#4026.  Andy Biggs (Blinking Pigs --- Little Dragon)

#4027.  Andy S. Biggs (We Are The Pigs --- Suede)

#4028.  Donald Trump's Blowing (Where Are You Going --- Dave Matthews Band)

#4029.  Kolodin (Violin --- They Might Be Giants)

#4030.  Hegseth (Til Death --- Christopher Sieber & Megan Hilty)

#4031.  Mitch McConnell (Horizontal --- All)

#4032.  Trump (Plump --- Hole)

#4033.  Thune (Goon --- Osees)

#4034.  Introducing Susan Collins (Introducing Mary Poppins --- Lin-Manuel Miranda & Emily Blunt)

#4035.  Tayvis (Save Us --- Feeder)

#4036.  Lance Schroyer (Destroyer --- Venom)

#4037.  Oberacker (Jacob's Ladder ---Incognito)

#4038.  Bill Pulte (Bird Of Prey --- Uriah Heep)

#4039.  Clayton (Satan --- The Dwarves)

#4040.  Jay Clayton (Unshaken --- D'Angelo)

#4041.  Jay Clayton (Awaken --- Breaking Benjamin)

#4042.  Clayton (Taken --- Snow Ghosts)

#4043.  Thune (Goon --- Moon Tooth)

#4044.  Oberacker (Jacob's Ladder --- Arlo Guthrie)

#4045.  Jay Clayton (Hail Satan --- Mindless Self Indulgence)

#4046.  Jeanine Pirro (Superhero --- Edie Brickell & The New Bohemians)

#4047.  Rick Brattin (Black Satin --- The Raveonettes)

#4048.  Sean Hannity (O' Sanity --- John Lennon & Yoko Ono)

#4049.  Moreno (Volcano --- Horse Jumper Of Love)

#4050.  Darline (Jolene --- Dolly Parton)

#4051.  Sean Hannity (Dark Sanity --- Mortician)

#4052.  John Braun (Walk On --- Deep Purple)

#4053.  John Braun (Walk On --- Roy Orbison)

#4054.  Bill Hagerty (Haphazardly --- Rhett Miller)

#4055.  Andy Ogles (Annie Oakley --- Miniature Tigers)

#4056.  Terafab (Taxi Cab --- The Naked Brothers Band)

#4057.  Terafab (Taxi Cab --- Vampire Weekend)

#4058.  Brent Taylor (Lost Sailor --- Grateful Dead)

#4059.  Tom Tiffany's Gonna Cheat (Epiphany On Mott Street --- The Waterboys)

#4060.  Tom Tiffany (Epiphany --- SG Lewis)

#4061.  Noem Is Deranged (Home On The Range --- John Denver)

#4062.  Noem (Home --- Low)

#4063.  Kristi Noem (Letters Home --- Childish Gambino)

#4064.  Noem (Home --- Casting Crowns)

#4065.  Jeanine Pirro (Superhero --- ChewieCatt)

#4066.  Mike Lindell (Go To Hell --- Alice Cooper)

#4067.  Trumper Dumper (Little Sister --- Queens Of The Stone Age)

#4068.  Noem (Home --- Aurora)

#4069.  ICE Gloves (White Gloves --- Khruangbin)

#4070.  Weinberger Stain (Hamburger Train --- Primus)

#4071.  Daylight Savings Time (Victim Or The Crime --- Grateful Dead)

#4072.  Megan Weinberger And Big Lies (I Love Cheeseburgers, Apple Pies --- Cake Pop)

#4073.  Karoline Leavitt (Letter Of Credit --- The Getaway Plan)

#4074.  ICE Gloves (God's Gloves --- Peace)

#4075.  MAGA Meg Weinberger (Big Kahuna Burger --- Knucks)

#4076.  MAGA Meg Weinberger (I Want A Hamburger --- Parry Gripp)

#4077.  Mace (Mace --- Blur)

#4078.  Kevin Rideout (Knock-Down Drag-Out --- Weezer)

#4079.  Jay Clayton (Hail Satan --- South Park)

#4080.  J.J. Grow (Let It Grow --- Black Lips)

#4081.  Round River (Big River --- Van Halen)

#4082.  J.J. Grow (Let It Grow --- Grateful Dead)

#4083.  J.J. Grow (Blow By Blow --- Fleetwood Mac)

#4084.  Kevin Rideout (Knock Down Drag Out --- Red Line Chemistry)

#4085.  John Rutherford (Old Thunderbird --- Devendra Banhart)

#4086.  Rutherford (Thunderbird --- Quiet Riot)

#4087.  Catalina (Ballerina --- Robin Trower) 

#4088.  ICE Gloves (Cracked Gloves --- Coast Modern)

#4089.  Catalina (Ballerina --- Oliver Hazard)

#4090.  Rutherford (Thunderbird --- ZZ Top)

#4091.  Mike Lindell (Go To Hell --- King's X)

#4092.  Mike Lindell (Go To Hell --- Blackpool)

#4093.  Nick Begich Punk (Smack My Bitch Up --- The Prodigy)

#4094.  Human Printer (TV Dinners --- ZZ Top)

#4095.  Trump's The Enemy (Flesh For Fantasy --- Billy Idol)

#4096.  Overton (Overdone --- Bombay Bicycle Club)

#4097.  Value Meal (Gates of Steal --- DEVO)

Please do not share this material with McDonald's enthusiasts and/or President Donald J. Trump.