Regarding my "integrity assessment" of Hillbilly Elegy author J.D. Vance, I was entirely mistaken. I got it all wrong. Turns out he's just another Trumper bitch.
I thought he was going to refrain from kissing the ring of the Orange Prolapse. And be the only non-sycophant in the crowded Republican field for Ohio Senate.
But now he's engaging in his own brand of revisionist history and deleting his disparaging past tweets about the McDonald's Clown.
Figures.
J.D. Vance For Me
sonofsaf
If you’re in a bind
It’s always the time
Show me the money
J.D. Vance for me
If you let Trump, fuck you so
Maybe you’re the clown
And you know his wife’s a ho
As you’re going down
If you're from Cleveland
Cincinnati or Dayton
Even Bell-Dirty
J.D. Vance for thee
Stormy had a big ass chest
And got paid off why
If he beats all the rest
Maybe Trump will die
J.D. Vance for me
All I want’s some of your money
J.D. Vance for me
You will be sucking (oh)
You will be fucking (yeah)
His dong hates the cold weather (dong hates the cold weather)
Hair that’s very pubic (oh)
Asshole wants cock-in (yeah)
Anal since I met her (anal since I met her)
'Cause he has a cock
He’s gonna try to fuck you
Gonna stick it up your ass too, it's tragic
He shows no remorse or care
It’s a game of truth or dare, I think you should blow
And cum watch it grow
If you’re in a bind
It’s always the time
Show me the money
J.D. Vance for me
If you let Trump, fuck you so
Maybe you’re the clown
And you know his wife’s a ho
As you’re going down
If you're from Cleveland
Cincinnati or Dayton
Even Bell-Dirty
J.D. Vance for me
Stormy had a big ass chest
And got paid off why
If I beat all the rest
Maybe Trump will die
J.D. Vance for me
Dream on, the news is fake, fuck you
J.D. Vance for me
Oh, you should vote your mind, maybe (oh)
I would not worry (yeah)
At least he’s not a Jew (at least he’s not a Jew)
He is very Trumpy (oh)
Favor, he’ll curry (yeah)
Gonna adVance on you (gonna adVance on you)
He’ll adVance and how
When he will call their bluff
Unless the sex gets rough, it's tragic
Stormy Daniels ain’t a crime
But Michael Cohen did some time, yes, he was a rat
Trump is great n’at
If you’re in a bind
It’s always the time
Show me the money
J.D. Vance for me
If you let Trump, fuck you so
Maybe you’re the clown
And you know his wife’s a ho
As you’re going down
If you're from Cleveland
Cincinnati or Dayton
Even Bell-Dirty
J.D. Vance for thee
Stormy had a big ass chest
Daniels fake titties
If he beats all the rest
J.D. Vance for me
J.D. Vance, J.D. Vance, J.D. Vance for me
Ba-ba-ba, ba, ba
Ba-ba-ba, ba, ba
Show me the money
J.D. Vance for me
Stormy had a big ass chest
Daniels fake titties
If he beats all the rest
J.D. Vance for me
J.D. Vance, J.D. Vance, J.D. Vance for me
Ba-ba-ba, ba, ba
Ba-ba-ba, ba, ba, ba-ba
Show me the money
J.D. Vance for me
Stormy had a big ass chest
Daniels fake titties
If he beats all the rest
J.D. Vance for me
Take A Chance On Me
ABBA
If you change your mind
I'm the first in line
Honey, I'm still free
Take a chance on me
If you need me, let me know
Gonna be around
If you've got no place to go
When you're feeling down
If you're all alone
When the pretty birds have flown
Honey, I'm still free
Take a chance on me
Gonna do my very best
And it ain't no lie
If you put me to the test
If you let me try
Take a chance on me
That's all I ask of you, honey
Take a chance on me
We can go dancing (oh)
We can go walking (yeah)
As long as we're together (long as we're together)
Listen to some music (oh)
Maybe just talking (yeah)
Get to know you better (get to know you better)
'Cause you know I've got
So much that I wanna do
When I dream I'm alone with you, it's magic
You want me to leave it there
Afraid of a love affair, but I think you know
That I can't let go
If you change your mind
I'm the first in line
Honey, I'm still free
Take a chance on me
If you need me, let me know
Gonna be around
If you've got no place to go
When you're feeling down
If you're all alone
When the pretty birds have flown
Honey, I'm still free
Take a chance on me
Gonna do my very best
And it ain't no lie
If you put me to the test
If you let me try
Take a chance on me
Come on, give me a break, will you?
Take a chance on me
Oh, you can take your time, baby (oh)
I'm in no hurry (yeah)
Know I'm gonna get you (know I'm gonna get you)
You don't wanna hurt me (oh)
Baby, don't worry (yeah)
I ain't gonna let you (I ain't gonna let you)
Let me tell you now
My love is strong enough
To last when things are rough, it's magic
You say that I waste my time
But I can't get you off my mind, no, I can't let go
'Cause I love you so
If you change your mind
I'm the first in line
Honey, I'm still free
Take a chance on me
If you need me, let me know
Gonna be around
If you've got no place to go
If you're feeling down
If you're all alone
When the pretty birds have flown
Honey, I'm still free
Take a chance on me
Gonna do my very best
Baby, can't you see?
Gotta put me to the test
Take a chance on me
Take a chance, take a chance, take a chance on me
Ba-ba-ba, ba, ba
Ba-ba-ba, ba, ba
Honey, I'm still free
Take a chance on me
Gonna do my very best
Baby, can't you see
Gotta put me to the test
Take a chance on me
Take a chance, take a chance, take a chance on me
Ba-ba-ba, ba, ba
Ba-ba-ba, ba, ba, ba-ba
Honey, I'm still free
Take a chance on me
Gonna do my very best
Baby, can't you see
Gotta put me to the test
Take a chance on me
The original ABBA never played in Pittsburgh. They might be the quintessential palindrome, but as far as music goes, just not really my cup of tea.
However, I did like the Andy Bernard acapella version of "Take A Chance On Me" when he asks out Angela with the assistance of "Here Comes Treble." Surprisingly, it's not available on yinz fallopian tubes.
Please do not share this material with Ohio Senate candidate J.D. Vance and/or former President Donald J. Trump.
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