#500. What A Festivus

My five hundredth parody!  

What a journey it's been.  This one's a more light-hearted spin on "Just The Two Of Us."  

Only 500 more to go for book #10.  And then the real fun begins.

What a Festivus
sonofsaf

I use a two line phone to call
Understudy sings for all
Shaky the mohel was a Jew
Send me those trench coats overnight
Stealin’ Roxy’s not a crime
And you need a Johnson rod or two

What a Festivus
Mabel Choate a marble rye
What a Festivus
(What a Festivus)
What a Festivus
You’re no banker pay the fine
For the rest of us
You and I

Hit up Tim Whatley’s for New Years.
Do not double dip that chip
The Chicken Roaster sign’s red glow
He’s from Ukraine and he’s irate
Game of Risk to dominate
Let’s buy a fruitier Bordeaux

(Oh) What a Festivus
I like Pepsi more than wine
What a Festivus
(What a Festivus)
What a Festivus
Mabel Choatin’ that marble rye
For the rest of us.
You and I

I watched the Rangers take a fall
To the Devils after all
You ever suffer for your soup?
And Jon Voight drove a LeBaron
AIDS walk wasn’t that much fun
I’m gonna cobble all your shoes
What a Festivus
Mabel Choate a marble rye

What a Festivus
(What a Festivus)
What a Festivus
Del Boca Vista when you die
For the rest of us
You and I
What a Festivus
(We can make it, what a Festivus)
Maybe the dingo ate your baby (yeah)
(What a Festivus)
What a Festivus
(We can fake it, what a Festivus)
(What a Festival)
(We can shake it, what a Festivus)
(What a Festivus)
(We can bake it, what a Festivus)
(What a Festivus)
(What a Festivus)
(What a Festivus)
(We’re not gonna take it, what a Festivus)
(What a Festivus)

Just The Two Of Us
Grover Washington

I see the crystal raindrops fall
And the beauty of it all
Is when the sun comes shining through
To make those rainbows in my mind
When I think of you sometime
And I wanna spend some time with you

Just the two of us
We can make it if we try
Just the two of us
(Just the two of us)
Just the two of us
Building castles in the sky  
Just the two of us
You and I

We look for love, no time for tears
Wasted water's all that is
And it don't make no flowers grow
Good things might come to those who wait
Not for those who wait too late
We gotta go for all we know

Just the two of us
We can make it if we try
Just the two of us
(Just the two of us)
Just the two of us
Building them castles in the sky
Just the two of us
You and I

I hear the crystal raindrops fall
On the window down the hall
And it becomes the morning dew
And darling when the morning comes
And I see the morning sun
I wanna be the one with you
Just the two of us
We can make it if we try

Just the two of us
(Just the two of us)
Just the two of us
Building big castles way on high
Just the two of us
You and I
Just the two of us
(We can make it, just the two of us)
Let's get it together baby (yeah)
(Just the two of us)
Just the two of us
(We can make it, just the two of us)
(Just the two of us)
(We can make it, just the two of us)
(Just the two of us)
(We can make it, just the two of us)
(Just the two of us)
(We can make it, just the two of us)
(Just the two of us)
(We can make it, just the two of us)
(Just the two of us)

 

Festivus easily makes my top 10 Seinfeld episodes.  I've never considered ranking them.  Perhaps someday.  Seinfeld's my second all-time favorite television series.  A distant second behind Sopranos.  My others: The Office (up until Steve Carrell left), Cheers (up until Shelley Long left), and Dallas.  Gotta love the old school J.R. Ewing character.  I was in my early teens.  What a fucking bastard!

Please do not share this with any descendants of Grover Washington Jr. (1943-1999) and/or Jerry Stiller (Frank Costanza).