#499. Just A Uterus

Quite possibly the most grotesque, offensive parody I've ever written.  And that's really sayin' somethin'.

Last summer, I was walking downtown and encountered the pro-life protesters on Liberty Ave.  They were handing out the usual pamphlets, intermittently praying, and so on and so forth.  But one of them had a picnic basket filled with "rubbery fetuses."

 I asked if I could have one and the woman responded "absolutely."  Then, she handed it to me and asked "what are you going to do with the baby?"  I replied, "At this point I'm not sure.  I just know it's something I need.  It speaks to me."  She smiled and said god bless you.  

A few days later I used it to help balance out the stability of a cedar chest in our living room.  The right front leg is chipped.

Just A Uterus
sonofsaf

I hear you’re gonna make the call
To the clinic down the hall
It helps to plan your parenthood
About the fetus from mankind
Paid for on the public dime
And the baby we will bid adieu

Just a uterus
Scrape it out now don’t be shy
Just a uterus
(Just a uterus)
Just a uterus
Late term abortion’s not a crime
Just a uterus
It will die

Come see the blood, and have no fear
Thrown out zygotes are a biz
Don’t get to know those embryos
Don’t use that period too late
Even when you’re on a date
We gotta know your Cro Mags show

Just a uterus
Scrape it out now don’t be shy
Just a uterus
(Just a uterus)
Just a uterus
Late term abortion’s not a crime
Just a uterus
It will die

I hope you’re gonna make the call
Make your boyfriend take the fall
Set an appointment just for you
And I’ll add up the patient’s sum
Neither daughter nor a son
It’s all a racket for the Jews

Just a uterus
Scrape it out now don’t be shy
Just a uterus
(Just a uterus)
Just a uterus
Late term abortion’s not a crime
Just a uterus
It will die
Just a uterus
(We can scrape it, just a uterus)
Say goodbye forever baby (yeah)
(Just a uterus)
Just a uterus
(We can scrape it, just a uterus)
(Just a uterus)
(We can scrape it, just a uterus)
(Just a uterus)
(We can scrape it, just a uterus)
(Just a uterus)
(We can scrape it, just a uterus)
(Just a uterus)
(We can scrape it, just a uterus)

 

Just The Two Of Us
Grover Washington

I see the crystal raindrops fall
And the beauty of it all
Is when the sun comes shining through
To make those rainbows in my mind
When I think of you sometime
And I wanna spend some time with you

Just the two of us
We can make it if we try
Just the two of us
(Just the two of us)
Just the two of us
Building castles in the sky  
Just the two of us
You and I

We look for love, no time for tears
Wasted water's all that is
And it don't make no flowers grow
Good things might come to those who wait
Not for those who wait too late
We gotta go for all we know

Just the two of us
We can make it if we try
Just the two of us
(Just the two of us)
Just the two of us
Building them castles in the sky
Just the two of us
You and I

I hear the crystal raindrops fall
On the window down the hall
And it becomes the morning dew
And darling when the morning comes
And I see the morning sun
I wanna be the one with you
Just the two of us
We can make it if we try

Just the two of us
(Just the two of us)
Just the two of us
Building big castles way on high
Just the two of us
You and I
Just the two of us
(We can make it, just the two of us)
Let's get it together baby (yeah)
(Just the two of us)
Just the two of us
(We can make it, just the two of us)
(Just the two of us)
(We can make it, just the two of us)
(Just the two of us)
(We can make it, just the two of us)
(Just the two of us)
(We can make it, just the two of us)
(Just the two of us)
(We can make it, just the two of us)
(Just the two of us)

 

Grover Washington Jr. played Pittsburgh only once.  (Star Lake on 6-20-92).   I was at a Dead show in Washington, D.C. that night.  RFK baby.  Not to besmirch Grover, but I'm quite certain I made the correct decision.

Please do not share this material with anyone who has ever had an abortion or has considered having an abortion.