sonofsaf: #435. Team Vance

Wednesday, June 02, 2021

#435. Team Vance

Another J.D. Vance parody.

If I was Vance and running for U.S. Senate in Ohio, I'd take steps to further distance myself from the crowded field. I'd make a distinct promise to the voters. There will be ZERO yard signs. No self-aggrandizing billboards. None of that shit.

I'd tell Ohio voters that seeing my name everywhere makes me feel uncomfortable. That I don't care for the hero worship aspect. How there's way too much of that going on in Washington DC and it's a fundamental problem in the media as well. That too many voters choose ego and personality over policy and substance.

Also, mention how, historically speaking, candidate signage is nothing more than "exhaustive mind litter" and roadside trash. If you frame it like that, I think it could spark a new trend away from all the nonsensical yard signs. Vance gets way more mileage out of an appearance on cable news anyway. And he's not afraid to go on CNN or MSNBC which could play well in what looks to be a tough general election against the likely Tim Ryan (D-OH).

Team Vance
sonofsaf

Team Vance
Turn off the fake news and don’t accuse
Team Vance
A J.D. perspective of the O-HI-O
The fray
Filed to run in the big race
The fray
Ray of sunshine in a dismal race

This could be fun
If he stays true
But he must confide
He lied
Because he’s not a Jew
He’ll put the screws to you
Better Call Saul down on the farm
Bob Evans will empower

Team Vance
Team Vance
His ass can’t take it all
Team Vance
His ass is very small
The fray
He is gay but still denies
The fray
Bow to the far right, the idiot far right

And this could be fun
If he stays true
But he must confide
He lied
Because he’s not a Jew
He’ll put the screws to you
Better Call Saul down on the farm
Bob Evans will empower

Team Vance
Turn off the fake news and don’t accuse
Team Vance
The fray
Bow to the far right, the idiot far right
Team Vance
Team Vance
Team Vance, Vance, Vance

Let’s Dance
David Bowie

Let's dance
Put on your red shoes and dance the blues
Let's dance
To the song they're playin' on the radio
Let's sway
While color lights up your face
Let's sway
Sway through the crowd to an empty space

If you say run
I'll run with you
And if you say hide
We'll hide
Because my love for you
Would break my heart in two
If you should fall into my arms
And tremble like a flower

Let's dance
Let's dance
For fear your grace should fall
Let's dance
For fear tonight is all
Let's sway
You could look into my eyes
Let's sway
Under the moonlight, this serious moonlight

And if you say run
I'll run with you
And if you say hide
We'll hide
Because my love for you
Would break my heart in two
If you should fall into my arms
And tremble like a flower

Let's dance
Put on your red shoes and dance the blues
Let's sway
Under the moonlight, this serious moonlight
Let's dance
Let's dance
Let's dance, dance, dance