In the United States, about 42 million people (out of 328 million) consider themselves to be "retired."
Not surprisingly, the number of retirements spiked during the Covid pandemic. Hey sometimes you just gotta hang it up.
So anyway, if you're having a retirement party and have the ability to play an acoustic guitar or sing karaoke, feel free to use my all-encompassing retirement song.
I’m Retired
sonofsaf
Tell all the world, that I’m staying’ home
No alarm today but I’ll be near the phone. Mhmm
The stock market’s on fire
Oh oh oh, I'm retired
Should I ask, maybe, to have brunch with you?
And maybe tea for two let’s get drunk and screw. Oh no
Ain’t a god damn liar
Oh oh oh, I'm retired
Not enough cash gonna blame my wife, baby
Euchre and hearts tickets for the lottery
Mega Millions Powerball
And now I got more time for the internet
To become a googling fool to prove that I ain't dead
Metallica fights fire with fire
Oh oh oh, I'm retired
Oh oh oh, I'm retired
Oh oh oh, I'm retired
Woo ooh ooh
Woo ooh ooh
Ooh ooh ooh
Woo ooh ooh
Woo ooh ooh
I’m On Fire
Bruce Springsteen
Hey little girl, is your daddy home?
Did he go away and leave you all alone? Mhmm
I got a bad desire
Oh oh oh, I'm on fire
Tell me now, baby, is he good to you?
And can he do to you the things that I do? Oh no
I can take you higher
Oh oh oh, I'm on fire
Sometimes it's like someone took a knife, baby
Edgy and dull and cut a six inch valley
Through the middle of my skull
At night I wake up with the sheets soaking wet
And a freight train running through the middle of my head
Only you can cool my desire
Oh oh oh, I'm on fire
Oh oh oh, I'm on fire
Oh oh oh, I'm on fire
Woo ooh ooh
Woo ooh ooh
Ooh ooh ooh
Woo ooh ooh
Woo ooh ooh
Bruce Springsteen:
10-27-12, Soldiers and Sailors Memorial Hall and Museum, Pittsburgh, PA
10-27-12, Consol Energy Center, Pittsburgh, PA
4-22-14, Consol Energy Center, Pittsburgh, PA
1-16-16, Consol Energy Center, Pittsburgh, PA
9-11-16, Consol Energy Center, Pittsburgh, PA
Feel free to share this material with any person who has plans to announce their retirement in a public setting.
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