Wednesday, June 02, 2021

#434. Vance Vance Vance

Middletown, Ohio (it's between Dayton and Cincy) and their best selling author J.D. Vance is "contemplating" a run for U.S. Senate as a Republican.  I believe he will run.  And in a very crowded primary with the routine business executives and political bigshots that nobody outside Columbus knows... He. Will. Win.

The guy's an Iraq War veteran with a helluva story.  And he wrote a story too.  Hillbilly Elegy.

More importantly, mega-billionaire Peter "pay pal" Thiel just pumped 10 million bucks into a Vance-PAC that deals with promoting drug rehabilitation in the state of Ohio.  And now, all of a sudden, Vance is popping up on Fox News.  Engaging in discussions about critical race theory and dishing out examples of "wokeness."  I know, right?  What a crazy coincidence!

And yeah, I'll concede, he's on the record for badmouthing the Orange Prolapse.  But so what?  By the time the election rolls around, Trump is going to be an excretory afterthought.  He'll play his customary imbecilic role and have an impact.  But his clout is definitely on the downswing.  My hunch --- Trump will back businessman Bernie Moreno (KellyAnne Cuntway is his campaign manager) or likely avoid the race altogether because the polls aren't giving him an accurate heads up as to the eventual winner. 

Most normal registered Republicans won't give a shit about this shit.  

But most Trumpaholics will be looking for a new hero worship character.  Enter Vance.

And that could be his retaliatory go-to line in the debates.  If you're looking for someone to worship and praise and idolize... do not vote for me.  I'm not your candidate.  But if you want someone who will do the work...

Even better, what if he wins and turns on Fox News and all of his Republican colleagues?  And decides to start voting in lock step with the Dems.  Thereby becoming one of the most despised individuals in the history of politics.  With an Indian wife by his side, such a twist would make for a great story in 2022 and beyond.  Just something to consider.  Hey, crazier things have happened.

  


Vance Vance Vance
sonofsaf

Vance
Vance
Vance
Vance, Vance, Vance

Portman lied, Portman cried
Gonna hoist a flag unfurled
O-HI-O, is on my mind
Wanna take over the world

Politics is his new gig
Get off and make a fuss
Gimme money everyone
We’re gonna win the election

He is more young
Than Mandel scum
Who's covered in cum
He’s all fucked up
He’s stroking the bone
You better call Saul
He’ll shoot his gun
And kill ‘em all

Maybe J.D. Vance, Vance, Vance
Feel the cream of his jism
Drink the cream of our land
Vance, Vance, Vance
All the voters will be choosin’
You’re gonna give him a chance

Big divide, Orange Prolapse tried
To shit on everyone
Not a man no plans, junior’s giraffe
Trophy hunting is dumb

Accept your fate by the barrel and crate
Get your retail fun
We don’t hate America great
Let’s fire all our guns

He is more young
Than Mandel scum
Who's covered in cum
He’s all fucked up
He’s stroking the bone
You better call Saul
He’ll shoot his gun
And kill ‘em all

Maybe J.D. Vance, Vance, Vance
Feel the cream of the jism
Drink the cream of our land
Vance, Vance, Vance
All the voters will be choosin’
You’re gonna give him a chance

He is more young
Than Mandel scum
Who's covered in cum
He’s all fucked up
He’s stroking the bone
You better call Saul
He’ll shoot his gun
And kill ‘em all

Vance
Vance
Vance
V-V-V-Vance

Vance, Vance, Vance
Feel the cream of the jism
Drink the cream of our land
Vance, Vance, Vance
All the voters will be choosin’
You’re gonna give him a chance

Vance, Vance, Vance
Feel the cream of the jism
Eat the meat in my hand
Vance, Vance, Vance
All the voters will be choosin’
You’re gonna give him a chance

Vance, Vance

Team Vance, Vance, Vance
Team Vance, Vance, Vance

 

Dance Dance Dance
Ratt

Dance
Dance
Dance
Dance, dance, dance

Slip and slide, take a ride
You want the best of both worlds
Caviar, it's hard to find
You're not a big city girl

You have dreams to make it big
Right off the Greyhound bus
Roses come from everyone
You're gonna have yourself some fun

When it's all done
You bite your tongue
You're feelin' so young
No cover-ups
You're never alone
If you hear the call
It's all for one
And one for all

Baby we can dance, dance, dance
Feel the heat of the rhythm
Feel the heat of my hand
Dance, dance, dance
I see the way that you're movin'
You need a little romance

You have pride, just try and fight
You'll take on anyone
Stupid pans and fans, no more laughs
It's only ten to one

It's gettin' late to worry 'bout a date
Still you have no one
Twist of fate, you know it's too late
You turn on everyone

When it's all done
You bite your tongue
You're feelin' so young
No cover-ups
You're never alone
If you hear the call
It's all for one
And one for all

Baby we can dance, dance, dance
Feel the heat of the rhythm
Feel the heat of my hand
Dance, dance, dance
I see the way that you're movin'
I think we have a chance

When it's all done
You bite your tongue
You're feelin' so young
No cover-ups
You're never alone
If you hear the call
It's all for one
And one for all

Dance
Dance
Dance
D-d-d-dance

Dance, dance, dance
Feel the heat of the rhythm
Feel the heat of my hand
Dance, dance, dance
I see the way that you're movin'
You need a little romance

Dance, dance, dance
Feel the heat of the rhythm
Feel the beat of the band
Dance, dance, dance
I see the way that you're movin'
I think we have a chance, chance

Dance, dance

We'll dance, dance, dance
We'll dance, dance, dance 




 

I know.  I know.  The lip syncing was mind-boggingly atrocious.  But you gotta dig the over-the-top stage presence.  Kind of has this old school WTBS Superstation 1980's Gordon Solie studio wrestling vibe.

Ratt:

7-15-85, Civic Center, Wheeling, WV

2-7-89, Hara Arena, Dayton, OH

1-21-01, The Crossroads, Wheeling, WV (out the crick)

Bobby Blotzer's Ratt Experience:

6-16-16, Jergel's, Warrendale, PA

Stephen Pearcy:

3-23-17, The Kent Stage, Kent, OH

Please do not share this material with writer J.D. Vance and/or any of the major 2022 Ohio Republican Senate primary candidates (Bernie Moreno, Josh Mandel, Jane Timkin, Mike Gibbons, etc.)  


No comments: