Since his arrival in the Burgh, I've had multiple encounters with NFL celebrity kingpin & social media influencer JuJu Smith-Schuster. That man is one helluva Snapchattin', Youtubin', Twitshittin', Pizza Huttin' mother fucker!
And when I say "multiple" encounters, that means more than one. Two... to be precise.
I once ran into him and his "posse" outside Gate B before a Kenny Chesney concert at Heinz Field. I promptly gave his crew some of my infamous "business cards" regarding outdated emergency stadium evacuation protocol. This was a few years before I started getting routinely harassed by the feds. All of them absorbed the information and profusely thanked me for my efforts in trying to prevent a dominipede (a/k/a domino stampede --- an act of cyber-terrorism, that if successful, would likely rival 9/11). Well, that's not really how it all went down. But they did read the information as I launched into my standard 30 second tirade.
This other time I saw JewX2 and a couple young ladies walking along the Allegheny River in Point State Park. I asked him who he thought would purchase the Heinz Field stadium naming rights in 2022 and he correctly replied UPMC. I congratulated him on his thoughtful response and encouraged him to spread the good word.
It's been a while since I parodied an instrumental. This one would've made more sense if JuJu had a serious groin injury. As opposed to season-ending shoulder surgery. Whatever.
The Balls Of JuJu (instrumental)
sonofsaf
The Call Of Ktulu (instrumental)
Metallica
Favorite Metallica instrumental? Orion off Master of Puppets.
I used to have a fake ID when I went to University of Dayton back in the late 80's.
Lars Ulrich, Metallic Drive, Louisville, Kentucky. No joke.
Metallica:
6-15-88, Three Rivers Stadium, Pittsburgh, PA (Monsters of Rock)
6-22-88, Rubber Bowl, Akron, OH (Monsters of Rock)
11-18-88, Cincinnati Gardens, Cincinnati, OH (w/ Queensryche)
4-16-89, Hara Arena, Dayton, OH (w/ Queensryche)
7-26-92, Three Rivers Stadium, Pittsburgh, PA (w/ Guns'n'Roses & Faith No More)
3-26-97, Civic Arena, Pittsburgh, PA
10-18-18, PPG Paints Arena, Pittsburgh, PA
Please do not share this material with Steelers receiver JuJu Smith-Schuster.
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