#845. Alex Mooney

My former Congressman David McKinley (R-WV) might be in for a rude awakening.  Due to West Virginia's population decline, the number of House Representatives went from 3 to 2.

 

McKinley will be facing a tough primary challenge from fellow incumbent Alex Mooney.  

Mooney's a staunch conservative with substantial cash on hand.  But most important, he just received a coveted endorsement from the Orange Prolapse. 

Representative Alex Mooney has done an outstanding job as Congressman in West Virginia. In fact, he recently opposed the horrendous Biden Administration’s “Non-Infrastructure” plan, and he opposed the January 6th Committee, also known as the Unselect Committee of partisan hacks and degenerates. Alex has been strong on Crime, Borders, our great Military, and a champion for our Veterans. He will always protect our Second Amendment, and of particular importance is the fact that Alex fights for energy and beautiful clean coal—and he will never stop. Congressman Alex Mooney has my Complete and Total Endorsement!

Yeah, beautiful clean coal. 

Now McKinley's fairly popular.  However, after the failed insurrection, he voted in favor of impeaching the Trump.  He also had the audacity to support Biden's "BBB" infrastructure plan.  Son of a bitch!  Because everyone knows that the absolute worst thing for West Virginia would be to improve their roads and bridges.

I'm gonna buck the trend here and offer some advice for Alex Mooney.  At all future rallies, I think Moondance should encore with a blowbang.  Instead of shaking everyone's hand, his male supporters should form a line and ejaculate all over an eager Alex's face.  You've heard of the Cha Cha.  You've heard of the Twist.  Herewith, this campaign fun-raising maneuver will be forever known as the "Moonshot."  Think in terms of seemingly infinite cumshots on steroids.

 

 

Alex Mooney
sonofsaf

Alex Mooney!
Cum on Alex Mooney for me!

Do The Fonzie
Suzi Quatro with “the band”

Do the Fonzie!
C’mon do the Fonzie with me!

 

I searched cyberspace dong and tard... er uh, long and hard.  But couldn't find the lyrics.  You'd think that some Happy Days enthusiast would've made an attempt to transcribe them.  But you'd be wrong.  Regardless, much of the lyrics are poppycock gibberish. 

Good news for Congressman Mooney I suppose.

The Big Lie 100: (#128)

#390.  Big Lie (Free Ride --- Edgar Winter)

#487.  Donald's Big Lie (Mr. Blue Sky --- E.L.O.)

#495.  American Lie (American Pie --- Don McLean)

#520.  The Big Lie (When Doves Cry --- Prince)

#530.  Big Lie (High Time --- Grateful Dead)

#545.  Big Lie (Goodbye --- Night Ranger)

#548.  Trump World's, Big Lie (Big Girls, Don't Cry --- Frankie Valli & The Four Seasons)  

#549.  All A Big Lie (Live And Let Die --- Paul McCartney)

#550.  Would Trump Lie To You (Would I Lie To You --- Annie Lennox)

#552.  Big Liar (Big Spender --- Shirley Bassey)

 

#553.  Big Lie (Big Me --- Foo Fighters)

#555.  The Big Lie (Let Her Cry --- Hootie And The Blowfish)

#557.  Big Lie (Big Love --- Fleetwood Mac)

#559.  Big Lies (Big Balls --- AC/DC)

#561.  The Big Lie (Aces High --- Iron Maiden)

#562.  Big Lie Trump Overload (Goodbye Yellow Brick Road --- Elton John)

#563.  Byrne's A Bitch (Burn The Witch --- Radiohead)

#564.  As The World Byrnes (As The World Burns --- Kreator)

#565.  Lie (Cry --- Godley and Creme)

#567.  Byrne In Hell (Burn In Hell --- Twisted Sister) 

#571.  He's A Scrotum The Big Lie (I'm So Lonesome I Could Cry --- Hank Williams)

#594.  Lie Lie You Trumpers (Die Die My Darling --- Metallica)

#595.  To Live Is To Lie (To Live Is To Die --- Metallica) 

 

#596.  Don't Lie (Don't Cry --- Guns'n'Roses)

#597.  Big Lie (Big Time --- Peter Gabriel)

#601.  Lies (Lies --- Thompson Twins)

#602.  Liar (Liar --- Three Dog Night)

#606.  Lie Free-For-All (Fly On The Wall --- AC/DC)

#609.  Big Liar (Big River --- Grateful Dead)

#616.  Jeffrey Clark (Rosa Parks --- OutKast)

#626.  So Great At Big Lies (Too Late For Goodbyes --- Julian Lennon)

#627.  Liar (Liar --- Henry Rollins)

#630.  Lie!  Lie! (Why?!  Why?! --- Nancy Kerrigan)

#632.  Fucked Up Lie (Custard Pie --- Led Zeppelin)

#633.  Tommy (Zombie --- The Cranberries)

#636.  Everybody Blows (Justice League Soundtrack --- Sigrid)

#639.  Orange Clown (Small Town --- John Cougar Mellencamp)

#640.  Be Unforgiving And Never Stop Lying (Shawshank Redemption --- Morgan Freeman / Tim Robbins)

#643.  Stampede (Candide --- Leonard Bernstein)

#651.  It's The Big Lie (Electric Eye --- Judas Priest)

#653.  Who Killed Ashli Babbitt (Who Killed Roger Rabbit --- Robert Zemekis)

#656.  Dush (Hush --- Deep Purple)

#657.  Dush (Plush --- Stone Temple Pilots)

#658.  Gonna Rock The Vote (Evil Little Goat --- Pearl Jam)

#659.  Trump's An Asshole (Get In The Hole --- generic dumbshit golf enthusiast)

#660.  Trump's A Clown (Lay It Down --- Ratt)

#661.  Between The Lies (Between The Eyes --- Ratt)

#663.  Lies Of The World (Eyes Of The World --- Grateful Dead)

#667.  Hole Jim Jordan (Beast of Burden --- Rolling Stones)

#670.  Sean Parnell (Go To Hell --- Alice Cooper)

#671.  Patrick (Magic --- Olivia Newton-John)

#673.  Sidney Implants (Breast Implants --- women w/ fake titties)

#674.  We Abhor Sidney (Eleanor Rigby --- Paul McCartney)

#675.  Trust Us on J6 (Justice for J6 )

#676.  Fuck Lin Wood (Amii Stewart --- Knock On Wood)

#677.  Lincoln Wood (If I Could --- Phish)

#678.  Burt Jones (Them Bones --- Alice in Chains)

#679.  Harriet's A Liar (Chariots of Fire --- Vangelis)

#680.  Trump's A Liar (Light My Fire --- The Doors)

#681.  Liar  (Fire --- Jimi Hendrix)

#682.  Lee (Tea --- King Diamond)

#683.  Fuck You Michael Cloud (Get Off Of My Cloud --- Rolling Stones)

#684.  Disunion Forever (The Union Forever --- Sergeant Richard Pickman)

#688.  Fuck You Lou (Love Me Do --- The Beatles)

#690.  Say No Thanks, 'Cause Trump Is A Crook And... (Ball Park Franks slogan)  

#691.  Barletta Theme Song (Baretta Theme Song --- Sammy Davis Jr.)

#693.  Justice For Gay Pricks (Justice for J-6 --- Matt Braynard)

#694.  Marco... Homo (Marco... Polo --- unknown)

#699.  Kent Is A Woman (Scent Of A Woman --- Seinfeld)

#700.  GOP (Can't You See --- Marshall Tucker Band) 

#701.  So Contradictory, Matt DePerno (Nestle --- It's Not Delivery, It's DiGiorno)

#702.  Ellis Lie (Jealous Guy --- John Lennon)

#708.  Orange Prolapsin' (Sister Christian --- Night Ranger)

#709.  Burt (Hurt --- Nine Inch Nails)

#713.  Bad Thune Lying (Bad Moon Rising --- John Fogerty)

#719.  Donald Trumper Lies (Bette Davis Eyes --- Kim Carnes) 

#722.  Jody Hice (Paradise --- Coldplay)

#723.  Liar (Liar --- Sex Pistols)

#725.  Strategic Warning (Woke Up This Morning --- Alabama 3)

#726.  Lake's A Caucasian (Shake Your Foundations --- AC/DC)

#727.  Texas (Lexus --- Toyota Marketing Department)

#729.  V.P. Pee Song (1970's Steelers Polka Fight Song --- Jimmy Psihoulis)

#740.  Maximum Misery, Matt DePerno (It's Not Delivery, It's DiGiorno --- Nestle)

#742.  Subpoena No Doubt (The Sun Will Come Out --- Little Orphan Annie)

#743.  Congressman Cole (Head Like A Hole --- Nine Inch Nails

#745.  Scavino Never Cums (Tomorrow Never Comes --- Teddy Geiger)

#746.  Chucky (Lucky --- Radiohead)

#747.  Dan Scavino (Sweet Potato --- Cracker)

#750.  Queen Graham (Queen Jane --- Grateful Dead)

#754.  Fraud (Maude --- Alan and Marilyn Bergman)

#755.  Trump Oddity (Space Oddity --- David Bowie) 

#757.  Trump And Mark Meadows (Me And My Shadow --- Whispering Jack Smith)

#758.  I Allege Grievance (The Pledge of Allegiance --- Rev. Francis Bellamy)

#760.  Peter Theil (Spinning Wheel --- Blood Sweat And Tears

#761.  Brnovich (Burn The Witch --- Radiohead) 

#773.  Larry Was A Damn Conniver (Jerry Was A Race Car Driver --- Primus)

 

#776.  Bannon (Dannon --- Danone North America Marketing Department)

 

#778.  Jim Banks (Give Thanks --- Dan Moen)

 

#779.  Fiore (Old Glory --- Guttermouth)

#785.  Jack (Black --- Pearl Jam)

#788.  Duncan's A Right Wing Cunt (Time To Make The Donuts --- Dunkin' Donuts)

#789.  Parnell, Parnell (Rochelle, Rochelle --- Bette Midler)

#790.  Fat Huckabee (Bad Company --- Bad Company)

#791.  The Big Lie Con (Da Do Ron Ron --- The Crystals)

#796.  Sean Parnell (Might As Well --- The Grateful Dead

#797.  Liberty (Misery --- The Beatles)

#798.  Here Cums The Cunt (Here Comes The Sun --- The Beatles)

#800.  The Friendliness Of The Central Perk Gunther (The Loneliness Of The Long Distance Runner --- Iron Maiden)

 

#801.  Youngkin's A Clown (You Spin Me Round --- Dead Or Alive)

#803.  Tomahawk (Body Talk --- Ratt)

 

#804.  Bolsonaro (Hot Potato --- The Wiggles)

 

#807.  Political Space (Critical Race --- The Republican Party)

 

#809.  Jen Psaki (Stagger Lee --- Grateful Dead)

  

#811.  Republican (Alone Again --- Dokken)

#812.  Genghis Kahn (QAnon --- Q)

#813.  Tax The Rich (Eat The Rich --- Krokus)

#816.  Mike Carey (Proud Mary --- Tina Turner)

#823.  Astro (world)? Not!  (Astronaut --- Yuri Gagarin)

#824.  Rupert The Asshole Murdoch (Rudolph The Red-Nosed Reindeer --- Johnny Marks)

#825.  A Coup's Not A Drill (A View To A Kill --- Duran Duran)

#830.  Brainiac (Maniac/Gainiac --- Michael Sembello/Proctor & Gamble)

#833.  Gus Is Scum (Us And Them --- Pink Floyd)

#834.  Fleischmann (Fleischmann's --- Associated British Foods)

#837.  He's Pretty White (McCarthy) (Fight For Your Right (To Party) --- Beastie Boys)

#838.  I Guess That's Why They Call It A Coup (I Guess That's Why They Call It The Blues --- Elton John)

#839.  Donald's Coup (Song Sung Blue --- Neil Diamond)

#840.  Coup D'Etat Plan (Blue Collar Man --- Styx)

#842.  Trump's Coup Autocrat (What's New Pussycat? --- Tom Jones)

#843.  Income Tax Cheat (Sesame Street theme song --- The Kids)

#844.  A Coup Solution (The New Solution --- Beck)

#845.  Alex Mooney (Do The Fonzie --- Suzie Quatro and the band)

So other than ranch or bleu, one of the most commonly asked questions is... Pinkie or Leather.  Gotta go with the latter Quatro.  I was never able to comprehend why Pinky climbed on the hood of her car during that demolition derby.  You'd think a seasoned grease monkey would've known better.  Especially with the looming possibility of a Malachi Crunch.

Please do not share this material with Alex Mooney (R-WV), David McKinley (R-WV), and/or former President Donald J. Trump.