#816. Mike Carey

Statement by the Orange Prolapse, 45th President of the United States of America...

Congratulations to Mike Carey on a fantastic victory in Ohio. I am very proud to have endorsed him early and strongly. He will be a great congressman!

For those unfamiliar with Ohio's curiously gerrymandered 15th district, allow me to introduce your new Congressman.

 

However, the colonic explorer Lemmiwinks requires no introduction.

 

Mike Carey
sonofsaf

Columbus suburbs are shitty,
Most of German Village is very gay,
Gets his salad tossed he’s moanin’ and weepin’,
Scurryin’ around hey it’s Lemmiwinks.

Asshole keep on burnin',
Mike Carey keeps on yearnin',
Takin’, takin’, takin’ not a giver.

Wants it up the ass use a fist,
Pleasure and the pain he’s the dean of mean,
Fuck his asshole raw it makes him all lit litty,
Faggot how he cried and delivered semen.

Asshole keep on burnin',
Mike Carey keeps on yearnin',
Takin’, takin’, takin’ not a giver.

Takin’, takin’, takin’ not a giver.

Golden showers to consider,
Kinda like a drug cravin’ their urine.
Ball sack smells like curry 'cause of papadums, (mark 3:04)
Sheeple are the voters and he's fucking them.

Asshole keep on burnin',
Mike Carey keeps on yearnin',
Takin’, takin’, takin’ not a giver.

Takin’, takin’, takin’ not a giver.
Takin’, takin’, takin’ not a giver.
Takin’, takin’, takin’ not a giver.

 

Proud Mary
Creedence Clearwater Revival

Left a good job in the city,
Workin' for the man ev'ry night and day,
And I never lost one minute of sleepin',
Worryin' 'bout the way things might have been.

Big wheel keep on turnin',
Proud Mary keep on burnin',
Rollin', rollin', rollin' on the river.

Cleaned a lot of plates in Memphis,
Pumped a lot of 'pane down in New Orleans,
But I never saw the good side of the city,
'Til I hitched a ride on a river boat queen.

Big wheel keep on turnin',
Proud Mary keep on burnin',
Rollin', rollin', rollin' on the river.

Rollin', rollin', rollin' on the river.

If you come down to the river,
Bet you gonna find some people who live.
You don't have to worry 'cause you have no money,
People on the river are happy to give.

Big wheel keep on turnin',
Proud Mary keep on burnin',
Rollin', rollin', rollin' on the river.

Rollin', rollin', rollin' on the river.
Rollin', rollin', rollin' on the river.
Rollin', rollin', rollin' on the river.

Tina Turner has been to the Burgh six times.  Never seen her.  She closed out her last show with "Proud Mary" at Mellon Arena in 2000.

 

The Big Lie 100: (#116)

#390.  Big Lie (Free Ride --- Edgar Winter)

#487.  Donald's Big Lie (Mr. Blue Sky --- E.L.O.)

#495.  American Lie (American Pie --- Don McLean)

#520.  The Big Lie (When Doves Cry --- Prince)

#530.  Big Lie (High Time --- Grateful Dead)

#545.  Big Lie (Goodbye --- Night Ranger)

#548.  Trump World's, Big Lie (Big Girls, Don't Cry --- Frankie Valli & The Four Seasons)  

#549.  All A Big Lie (Live And Let Die --- Paul McCartney)

#550.  Would Trump Lie To You (Would I Lie To You --- Annie Lennox)

#552.  Big Liar (Big Spender --- Shirley Bassey)

 

#553.  Big Lie (Big Me --- Foo Fighters)

#555.  The Big Lie (Let Her Cry --- Hootie And The Blowfish)

#557.  Big Lie (Big Love --- Fleetwood Mac)

#559.  Big Lies (Big Balls --- AC/DC)

#561.  The Big Lie (Aces High --- Iron Maiden)

#562.  Big Lie Trump Overload (Goodbye Yellow Brick Road --- Elton John)

#563.  Byrne's A Bitch (Burn The Witch --- Radiohead)

#564.  As The World Byrnes (As The World Burns --- Kreator)

#565.  Lie (Cry --- Godley and Creme)

#567.  Byrne In Hell (Burn In Hell --- Twisted Sister) 

#571.  He's A Scrotum The Big Lie (I'm So Lonesome I Could Cry --- Hank Williams)

#594.  Lie Lie You Trumpers (Die Die My Darling --- Metallica)

#595.  To Live Is To Lie (To Live Is To Die --- Metallica) 

 

#596.  Don't Lie (Don't Cry --- Guns'n'Roses)

#597.  Big Lie (Big Time --- Peter Gabriel)

#601.  Lies (Lies --- Thompson Twins)

#602.  Liar (Liar --- Three Dog Night)

#606.  Lie Free-For-All (Fly On The Wall --- AC/DC)

#609.  Big Liar (Big River --- Grateful Dead)

#616.  Jeffrey Clark (Rosa Parks --- OutKast)

#626.  So Great At Big Lies (Too Late For Goodbyes --- Julian Lennon)

#627.  Liar (Liar --- Henry Rollins)

#630.  Lie!  Lie! (Why?!  Why?! --- Nancy Kerrigan)

#632.  Fucked Up Lie (Custard Pie --- Led Zeppelin)

#633.  Tommy (Zombie --- The Cranberries)

#636.  Everybody Blows (Justice League Soundtrack --- Sigrid)

#639.  Orange Clown (Small Town --- John Cougar Mellencamp)

#640.  Be Unforgiving And Never Stop Lying (Shawshank Redemption --- Morgan Freeman / Tim Robbins)

#643.  Stampede (Candide --- Leonard Bernstein)

#651.  It's The Big Lie (Electric Eye --- Judas Priest)

#653.  Who Killed Ashli Babbitt (Who Killed Roger Rabbit --- Robert Zemekis)

#656.  Dush (Hush --- Deep Purple)

#657.  Dush (Plush --- Stone Temple Pilots)

#658.  Gonna Rock The Vote (Evil Little Goat --- Pearl Jam)

#659.  Trump's An Asshole (Get In The Hole --- generic dumbshit golf enthusiast)

#660.  Trump's A Clown (Lay It Down --- Ratt)

#661.  Between The Lies (Between The Eyes --- Ratt)

#663.  Lies Of The World (Eyes Of The World --- Grateful Dead)

#667.  Hole Jim Jordan (Beast of Burden --- Rolling Stones)

#670.  Sean Parnell (Go To Hell --- Alice Cooper)

#671.  Patrick (Magic --- Olivia Newton-John)

#673.  Sidney Implants (Breast Implants --- women w/ fake titties)

#674.  We Abhor Sidney (Eleanor Rigby --- Paul McCartney)

#675.  Trust Us on J6 (Justice for J6 )

#676.  Fuck Lin Wood (Amii Stewart --- Knock On Wood)

#677.  Lincoln Wood (If I Could --- Phish)

#678.  Burt Jones (Them Bones --- Alice in Chains)

#679.  Harriet's A Liar (Chariots of Fire --- Vangelis)

#680.  Trump's A Liar (Light My Fire --- The Doors)

#681.  Liar  (Fire --- Jimi Hendrix)

#682.  Lee (Tea --- King Diamond)

#683.  Fuck You Michael Cloud (Get Off Of My Cloud --- Rolling Stones)

#684.  Disunion Forever (The Union Forever --- Sergeant Richard Pickman)

#688.  Fuck You Lou (Love Me Do --- The Beatles)

#690.  Say No Thanks, 'Cause Trump Is A Crook And... (Ball Park Franks slogan)  

#691.  Barletta Theme Song (Baretta Theme Song --- Sammy Davis Jr.)

#693.  Justice For Gay Pricks (Justice for J-6 --- Matt Braynard)

#694.  Marco... Homo (Marco... Polo --- unknown)

#699.  Kent Is A Woman (Scent Of A Woman --- Seinfeld)

#700.  GOP (Can't You See --- Marshall Tucker Band) 

#701.  So Contradictory, Matt DePerno (Nestle --- It's Not Delivery, It's DiGiorno)

#702.  Ellis Lie (Jealous Guy --- John Lennon)

#708.  Orange Prolapsin' (Sister Christian --- Night Ranger)

#709.  Burt (Hurt --- Nine Inch Nails)

#713.  Bad Thune Lying (Bad Moon Rising --- John Fogerty)

#719.  Donald Trumper Lies (Bette Davis Eyes --- Kim Carnes) 

#722.  Jody Hice (Paradise --- Coldplay)

#723.  Liar (Liar --- Sex Pistols)

#725.  Strategic Warning (Woke Up This Morning --- Alabama 3)

#726.  Lake's A Caucasian (Shake Your Foundations --- AC/DC)

#727.  Texas (Lexus --- Toyota Marketing Department)

#729.  V.P. Pee Song (1970's Steelers Polka Fight Song --- Jimmy Psihoulis)

#740.  Maximum Misery, Matt DePerno (It's Not Delivery, It's DiGiorno --- Nestle)

#742.  Subpoena No Doubt (The Sun Will Come Out --- Little Orphan Annie)

#743.  Congressman Cole (Head Like A Hole --- Nine Inch Nails

#745.  Scavino Never Cums (Tomorrow Never Comes --- Teddy Geiger)

#746.  Chucky (Lucky --- Radiohead)

#747.  Dan Scavino (Sweet Potato --- Cracker)

#750.  Queen Graham (Queen Jane --- Grateful Dead)

#754.  Fraud (Maude --- Alan and Marilyn Bergman)

#755.  Trump Oddity (Space Oddity --- David Bowie) 

#757.  Trump And Mark Meadows (Me And My Shadow --- Whispering Jack Smith)

#758.  I Allege Grievance (The Pledge of Allegiance --- Rev. Francis Bellamy)

#760.  Peter Theil (Spinning Wheel --- Blood Sweat And Tears

#761.  Brnovich (Burn The Witch --- Radiohead) 

#773.  Larry Was A Damn Conniver (Jerry Was A Race Car Driver --- Primus)

 

#776.  Bannon (Dannon --- Danone North America Marketing Department)

 

#778.  Jim Banks (Give Thanks --- Dan Moen)

 

#779.  Fiore (Old Glory --- Guttermouth)

#785.  Jack (Black --- Pearl Jam)

#788.  Duncan's A Right Wing Cunt (Time To Make The Donuts --- Dunkin' Donuts)

#789.  Parnell, Parnell (Rochelle, Rochelle --- Bette Midler)

#790.  Fat Huckabee (Bad Company --- Bad Company)

#791.  The Big Lie Con (Da Do Ron Ron --- The Crystals)

#796.  Sean Parnell (Might As Well --- The Grateful Dead

#797.  Liberty (Misery --- The Beatles)

#798.  Here Cums The Cunt (Here Comes The Sun --- The Beatles)

#800.  The Friendliness Of The Central Perk Gunther (The Loneliness Of The Long Distance Runner --- Iron Maiden)

 

#801.  Youngkin's A Clown (Like A Retard --- Dead Or Alive)

#803.  Tomahawk (Body Talk --- Ratt)

 

#804.  Bolsonaro (Hot Potato --- The Wiggles)

 

#807.  Political Space (Critical Race --- The Republican Party)

 

#809.  Jen Psaki (Stagger Lee --- Grateful Dead)

  

#811.  Republican (Alone Again --- Dokken)

#812.  Genghis Kahn (QAnon --- Q)

#813.  Tax The Rich (Eat The Rich --- Krokus)

#816.  Mike Carey (Proud Mary --- Tina Turner) 

This is actually my second parody of Proud Mary.   Over the summer I penned "Loud Mary" regarding Congresswoman Mary Miller (R-IL).

Please do not share this material with Ohio Congressman Mike Carey and/or former President Donald J. Trump.