Friday, January 14, 2022

#985. Mike Crapo

Only 2 months after the insurrection, the Orange Prolapse started endorsing the re-election bids of incumbent Republican Senators in bright red states.  One such state is Idaho.  One such piece of shit is Mike Crapo.

Despite the failed attempt to destroy democracy, Crapo congratulates Trump on a successful 4 years of utter chaos.


If you're a reporter living in Idaho, who's not brain dead, here's the verbatim question you should ask Crapo.  "Senator, do you think former President Trump should offer an apology or sympathy/condolences to the families of Capitol Police who were maimed or died during the events related to 1-6?"  And the follow-up... "Senator, do you feel Donald Trump should accept any degree of accountability for the events of 1-6?"  And finally...  "Senator, considering his lengthy period of inaction on 1-6, do you have any reservations about accepting Trump's endorsement?"  Make it all about the Orange Prolapse and injured/dead cops.

The ultimate objective is to drive a wedge.  Divide and conquer.  Find that one high profile politician who's willing to express some degree of remorse for Trump's actions and behavior.  Then sit back and watch as other journalists summon the courage to ask their Senators and representatives.  Easier said than done.  Make sure you're wearing tennis shoes, as these mostly older, overweight, white men will desperately try to dodge, duck, dip, dive and dodge.

 

 


 

 

Mike Crapo
sonofsaf

Voters ask me if I’m gay
Larry Craig here, wide stances are okay
Airport restroom you will find
A job to blow, I pay it no mind

Everyone rearranges
Look at the crowds they’re huge
It’s a fate worse than cancer
He must be
Mike Crapo

Donald Trump puts on a show
Shit and more shit ‘cause he has to go
Orange and stupid got no class
Filled with rage he takes it up the ass

Stormy’s cunt was a lotta fun
Fucking me outta site
Fucking me out of sorrow
He must be
Mike Crapo
Mike Crapo
Mike Crapo
Mike Crapo

Fox News they bought and sold me
Like an elf on a shelf
My golf cart’s an incredible vehicle
It’s all about casting blame
And calling it fake news
Just accuse, and abuse, it’s fake news
It's all fake news
It's all fake news
It's all fake news
It's all fake news
Yo, yo, yo

Voters ask me if I’m gay
Larry Craig here, my wide stance is okay
Airport restroom you will find
A job to blow, I pay it no mind, salad tossed

Everyone rearranges
Look at the crowds they’re huge
It’s a fate worse than cancer
He must be
Mike Crapo

 

I Don't Know
Ozzy Osbourne

People look to me and say
Is the end near, when is the final day?
What's the future of mankind?
How do I know, I got left behind

Everyone goes through changes
Looking to find the truth
Don't look at me for answers
Don't ask me
I don't know

How am I supposed to know
Hidden meanings that will never show
Fools and prophets from the past
Life's a stage and we're all in the cast

You gotta believe in someone
Asking me who is right
Asking me who to follow
Don't ask me
I don't know
I don't know
I don't know
I don't know

Nobody ever told me
I found out for myself
You gotta believe in foolish miracles
It's not how you play the game
It's if you win or lose
You can choose, don't confuse, win or lose
It's up to you
It's up to you
It's up to you
It's up to you
Go, go, go

People look to me and say
Is the end near, when is the final day?
What's the future of mankind?
How do I know, I got left behind, now I'm lost

Everyone goes through changes
Looking to find the truth
Don't look at me for answers
Don't ask me
I don't know



 

This parody is primarily a tribute to former Idaho Senator Larry Craig.  The guy who got caught masturbating while playing footsie with an anonymous male stranger in a Minneapolis airport restroom back in 2007.  

 

Can you imagine if it was Crapo who was the toilet stalker?  You know, instead of Craig?  The "crap jokes" would have endured well into the 21st century.

I honestly don't mind the closet homosexual behavior.  But damn!  An airport restroom?  Those places stink.  It's the one time I honestly feel comfortable wearing a mask.

Saf, have you ever seen Ozzy live in concert?  I'm ashamed to admit that I haven't.  Then again, there's plenty of shit I've never done.  For example, I've never had sex in a port-a-jon.


The Big Lie 100: (#222)

#390.  Big Lie (Free Ride --- Edgar Winter)

#487.  Donald's Big Lie (Mr. Blue Sky --- E.L.O.)

#495.  American Lie (American Pie --- Don McLean)

#520.  The Big Lie (When Doves Cry --- Prince)

#530.  Big Lie (High Time --- Grateful Dead)

#545.  Big Lie (Goodbye --- Night Ranger)

#548.  Trump World's, Big Lie (Big Girls, Don't Cry --- Frankie Valli & The Four Seasons)  

#549.  All A Big Lie (Live And Let Die --- Paul McCartney)

#550.  Would Trump Lie To You (Would I Lie To You --- Annie Lennox)

#552.  Big Liar (Big Spender --- Shirley Bassey)
 
#553.  Big Lie (Big Me --- Foo Fighters)

#555.  The Big Lie (Let Her Cry --- Hootie And The Blowfish)

#557.  Big Lie (Big Love --- Fleetwood Mac)

#559.  Big Lies (Big Balls --- AC/DC)

#561.  The Big Lie (Aces High --- Iron Maiden)

#562.  Big Lie Trump Overload (Goodbye Yellow Brick Road --- Elton John)

#563.  Byrne's A Bitch (Burn The Witch --- Radiohead)

#564.  As The World Byrnes (As The World Burns --- Kreator)

#565.  Lie (Cry --- Godley and Creme)

#567.  Byrne In Hell (Burn In Hell --- Twisted Sister) 

#571.  He's A Scrotum The Big Lie (I'm So Lonesome I Could Cry --- Hank Williams)

#594.  Lie Lie You Trumpers (Die Die My Darling --- Metallica)

#595.  To Live Is To Lie (To Live Is To Die --- Metallica) 
 
#596.  Don't Lie (Don't Cry --- Guns'n'Roses)

#597.  Big Lie (Big Time --- Peter Gabriel)

#601.  Lies (Lies --- Thompson Twins)

#602.  Liar (Liar --- Three Dog Night)

#606.  Lie Free-For-All (Fly On The Wall --- AC/DC)

#609.  Big Liar (Big River --- Grateful Dead)

#616.  Jeffrey Clark (Rosa Parks --- OutKast)

#626.  So Great At Big Lies (Too Late For Goodbyes --- Julian Lennon)

#627.  Liar (Liar --- Henry Rollins)

#630.  Lie!  Lie! (Why?!  Why?! --- Nancy Kerrigan)

#632.  Fucked Up Lie (Custard Pie --- Led Zeppelin)

#633.  Tommy (Zombie --- The Cranberries)

#636.  Everybody Blows (Justice League Soundtrack --- Sigrid)

#639.  Orange Clown (Small Town --- John Cougar Mellencamp)

#640.  Be Unforgiving And Never Stop Lying (Shawshank Redemption --- Morgan Freeman / Tim Robbins)

#643.  Stampede (Candide --- Leonard Bernstein)

#651.  It's The Big Lie (Electric Eye --- Judas Priest)

#653.  Who Killed Ashli Babbitt (Who Killed Roger Rabbit --- Robert Zemekis)

#656.  Dush (Hush --- Deep Purple)

#657.  Dush (Plush --- Stone Temple Pilots)

#658.  Gonna Rock The Vote (Evil Little Goat --- Pearl Jam)

#659.  Trump's An Asshole (Get In The Hole --- generic dumbshit golf enthusiast)

#660.  Trump's A Clown (Lay It Down --- Ratt)

#661.  Between The Lies (Between The Eyes --- Ratt)

#663.  Lies Of The World (Eyes Of The World --- Grateful Dead)

#667.  Hole Jim Jordan (Beast of Burden --- Rolling Stones)

#670.  Sean Parnell (Go To Hell --- Alice Cooper)

#671.  Patrick (Magic --- Olivia Newton-John)

#673.  Sidney Implants (Breast Implants --- women w/ fake titties)

#674.  We Abhor Sidney (Eleanor Rigby --- Paul McCartney)

#675.  Trust Us on J6 (Justice for J6 )

#676.  Fuck Lin Wood (Amii Stewart --- Knock On Wood)

#677.  Lincoln Wood (If I Could --- Phish)

#678.  Burt Jones (Them Bones --- Alice in Chains)

#679.  Harriet's A Liar (Chariots of Fire --- Vangelis)

#680.  Trump's A Liar (Light My Fire --- The Doors)

#681.  Liar  (Fire --- Jimi Hendrix)

#682.  Lee (Tea --- King Diamond)

#683.  Fuck You Michael Cloud (Get Off Of My Cloud --- Rolling Stones)

#684.  Disunion Forever (The Union Forever --- Sergeant Richard Pickman)

#688.  Fuck You Lou (Love Me Do --- The Beatles)

#690.  Say No Thanks, 'Cause Trump Is A Crook And... (Ball Park Franks slogan)  

#691.  Barletta Theme Song (Baretta Theme Song --- Sammy Davis Jr.)

#693.  Justice For Gay Pricks (Justice for J-6 --- Matt Braynard)

#694.  Marco... Homo (Marco... Polo --- unknown)

#699.  Kent Is A Woman (Scent Of A Woman --- Seinfeld)

#700.  GOP (Can't You See --- Marshall Tucker Band) 

#701.  So Contradictory, Matt DePerno (Nestle --- It's Not Delivery, It's DiGiorno)

#702.  Ellis Lie (Jealous Guy --- John Lennon)

#708.  Orange Prolapsin' (Sister Christian --- Night Ranger)

#709.  Burt (Hurt --- Nine Inch Nails)

#713.  Bad Thune Lying (Bad Moon Rising --- John Fogerty)

#719.  Donald Trumper Lies (Bette Davis Eyes --- Kim Carnes) 

#722.  Jody Hice (Paradise --- Coldplay)

#723.  Liar (Liar --- Sex Pistols)

#725.  Strategic Warning (Woke Up This Morning --- Alabama 3)

#726.  Lake's A Caucasian (Shake Your Foundations --- AC/DC)

#727.  Texas (Lexus --- Toyota Marketing Department)

#729.  V.P. Pee Song (1970's Steelers Polka Fight Song --- Jimmy Psihoulis)

#740.  Maximum Misery, Matt DePerno (It's Not Delivery, It's DiGiorno --- Nestle)

#742.  Subpoena No Doubt (The Sun Will Come Out --- Little Orphan Annie)

#743.  Congressman Cole (Head Like A Hole --- Nine Inch Nails

#745.  Scavino Never Cums (Tomorrow Never Comes --- Teddy Geiger)

#746.  Chucky (Lucky --- Radiohead)

#747.  Dan Scavino (Sweet Potato --- Cracker)

#750.  Queen Graham (Queen Jane --- Grateful Dead)

#754.  Fraud (Maude --- Alan and Marilyn Bergman)

#755.  Trump Oddity (Space Oddity --- David Bowie) 

#757.  Trump And Mark Meadows (Me And My Shadow --- Whispering Jack Smith)

#758.  I Allege Grievance (The Pledge of Allegiance --- Rev. Francis Bellamy)

#760.  Peter Theil (Spinning Wheel --- Blood Sweat And Tears

#761.  Brnovich (Burn The Witch --- Radiohead) 

#773.  Larry Was A Damn Conniver (Jerry Was A Race Car Driver --- Primus)
 
#776.  Bannon (Dannon --- Danone North America Marketing Department)
 
#778.  Jim Banks (Give Thanks --- Dan Moen)
 
#779.  Fiore (Old Glory --- Guttermouth)

#785.  Jack (Black --- Pearl Jam)

#788.  Duncan's A Right Wing Cunt (Time To Make The Donuts --- Dunkin' Donuts)

#789.  Parnell, Parnell (Rochelle, Rochelle --- Bette Midler)

#790.  Fat Huckabee (Bad Company --- Bad Company)

#791.  The Big Lie Con (Da Do Ron Ron --- The Crystals)

#796.  Sean Parnell (Might As Well --- The Grateful Dead)

#797.  Liberty (Misery --- The Beatles)

#798.  Here Cums The Cunt (Here Comes The Sun --- The Beatles)

#800.  The Friendliness Of The Central Perk Gunther (The Loneliness Of The Long Distance Runner --- Iron Maiden)
 
#801.  Youngkin's A Clown (You Spin Me Round --- Dead Or Alive)

#803.  Tomahawk (Body Talk --- Ratt)
 
#804.  Bolsonaro (Hot Potato --- The Wiggles)
 
#807.  Political Space (Critical Race --- The Republican Party)
 
#809.  Jen Psaki (Stagger Lee --- Grateful Dead)
  
#811.  Republican (Alone Again --- Dokken)

#812.  Genghis Kahn (QAnon --- Q)

#813.  Tax The Rich (Eat The Rich --- Krokus)

#816.  Mike Carey (Proud Mary --- Tina Turner)

#823.  Astro (world)? Not!  (Astronaut --- Yuri Gagarin)

#824.  Rupert The Asshole Murdoch (Rudolph The Red-Nosed Reindeer --- Johnny Marks)

#825.  A Coup's Not A Drill (A View To A Kill --- Duran Duran)

#830.  Brainiac (Maniac/Gainiac --- Michael Sembello/Proctor & Gamble)

#833.  Gus Is Scum (Us And Them --- Pink Floyd)

#834.  Fleischmann (Fleischmann's --- Associated British Foods)

#837.  He's Pretty White (McCarthy) (Fight For Your Right (To Party) --- Beastie Boys)

#838.  I Guess That's Why They Call It A Coup (I Guess That's Why They Call It The Blues --- Elton John)

#839.  Donald's Coup (Song Sung Blue --- Neil Diamond)

#840.  Coup D'Etat Plan (Blue Collar Man --- Styx)

#842.  Trump's Coup Autocrat (What's New Pussycat? --- Tom Jones)

#843.  Income Tax Cheat (Sesame Street theme song --- The Kids)

#844.  A Coup Solution (The New Solution --- Beck)

#845.  Alex Mooney (Do The Fonzie --- Suzie Quatro and the band)

#846.  Mick Mouse (Brick House --- The Commodores)

#847.  Matthew Rosendale (Peter Cottontail --- Gene Autry) 

#849.  Kevin Rathbun (In The Long Run --- The Eagles)

#850.  Donald Trump Is Sh*t (Believe It Or Not --- Greatest American Hero Theme Song)

#853.  Kevin Rathbun (Fortunate Son --- Pearl Jam)

#854.  Detmer Blows (Don't Let Go --- Weezer)

#855.  Bricker Sucks (Lick It Up --- Kiss)

#859.  Sean Parnell (Jingle Bells --- Korn)

#860.  The Oath Keepers (Jeepers Creepers --- Frank Sinatra)

#861.  Dan Cox (Squeeze Box --- The Who)

#862.  Alex Jones (Skin And Bones --- Foo Fighters)

#863.  Roger Stone (Turn To Stone --- Electric Light Orchestra)

#864.  Fuck You (Praise You --- Fatboy Slim)

#865.  Donald Trump's Not White (Take Me Home Tonight --- Eddie Money)

#867.  Parnell's Gone (Tuesday's Gone --- Lynyrd Skynyrd)

#871.  Donald's A Clown (Don't Let Me Down --- The Beatles)

#872.  Guillen's Not The Same (Killing In The Name --- Rage Against The Machine)

#876.  Donald Has Sinned (Dust In The Wind --- Kansas)

#880.  Donald Sucks Cocks (Love On The Rocks --- Neil Diamond)

#881.  Twitter Tweet (Gerry Raffety --- Baker Street)

#882.  Happy Thanksgiving (Among The Living --- Anthrax)

#883.  Donald Trump's A Cock (Love Is Like A Rock --- Donnie Iris)

#884.  Kern! Kern! Kern! (Turn! Turn! Turn! --- The Byrds)

#885.  Kern's A Faggot Asshole (Turn Up The Radio --- Autograph)

#888.  Fat Orange Clown (My Hometown --- Bruce Springsteen)

#890.  Trump Stinks (Love Stinks --- J. Geils Band)

#891.  Learning To Lie (Learning to Fly --- Tom Petty)

#893.  David Perdue (Mr. Magoo --- Vincent Artaud)

#894.  Cox  (Clocks --- Coldplay)

#896.  Fuck Beth Van Duyne (Telephone Line --- E.L.O.)

#898.  Name Is Beth Van Duyne (Lay It On The Line --- Triumph)

#899.  Beth (Beth --- Kiss)

#901.  Jack Off And Vote For Mehmet (We're Off To See The Wizard --- Harold Arlen)

#902.  Devin Bitches (Seven Wishes --- Night Ranger)

#903.  Byron Donalds (Iron Maiden --- Iron Maiden)

#904.  Oz instrumental (Jaws instrumental --- John Williams)

#905.  Daniel Cox (Heart-Shaped Box --- Nirvana)

#906.  The Big Lie (9 to 5 --- Dolly Parton)

#907.  Devin's A Liar (Heaven's On Fire --- Kiss)

#908.  Mark Meadows (No One Knows --- Queens Of The Stone Age)

#910.  Collusion (Confusion --- E.L.O.)

#911.  Dan Cox Zero (Juke Box Hero --- Foreigner)

#912.  Anthony Kern Is Slime (If I Could Turn Back Time --- Cher)

#914.  Senator Manchin (Blowin' In The Wind --- Bob Dylan)

#915.  She Is A Cunt Beth Van Duyne (I Heard It Through The Grapevine)

#917.  Have Yourself a Very Scary 1-6 (Have Yourself A Merry Little Christmas --- John Legend)

#918.  The Events Of 1-6 (No Presents For Christmas --- King Diamond)

#919.  The Sorrow Of Meadows (Tomorrow Never Knows --- Grateful Dead)

#920.  BYE-DEN (SAY10 --- Marilyn Manson)

#921.  Fuck Rick Perry (Voices Carry --- Til Tuesday)

#925.  Devin Nunes Army (Seven Nation Army --- Jack White)

#926.  Of Course (White Horse --- Laid Back)

#929.  Trump Ain't Great (Carole King --- It's Too Late)

#931.  Donald's Cock (Like A Rock --- Bob Seger & The Silver Bullet Band)

#932.  All I Want Is Justice For Trump (All I Want For Christmas Is You --- Mariah Carey)

#934.  Devin's Not Well (Heaven And Hell --- Ronnie James Dio)

#936.  Jim Crow (Hello --- Lionel Richie)

#937.  Mark Meadows (Heaven Knows --- Robert Plant)

#938.  Tim O'Hare (Save A Prayer --- Duran Duran)

#939.  Boebert For Me (Moron TV --- Primus)

#940.  He Will Fuck You (We Will Rock You --- Queen)

#941.  Bill Lee (Stone Free --- Jimi Hendrix)

#942.  Lee (Free --- Phish)

#943.  Boozman (Batman --- Voivod)

#944.  There's No Doubt He Is John James (Take Me Out To The Ball Game --- Jack Norworth & Albert Von Tilzer)

#945.  Do Juneau Mike? (I Ride My Bike --- Cracker)

#946.  Trump Likes Makin' Blood (Feel Like Makin' Love --- Bad Company)

#947.  Rosendale (Monorail --- The Simpsons)

#948.  John Gibbs (War Pigs --- Ozzy Osbourne)

#949.  Blood Insurrection (Love And Affection --- Def Leppard)

#950.  Kyle Rittenhouse (Burning Down The House --- Talking Heads)

#951.  Mayes (Maze --- Phish)

#953.  Mayes (Graze --- Live)

#954.  Trump's A Fucking Liar (Comin' Under Fire --- Def Leppard)

#955.  Lie When It's Legal (Fly Like An Eagle --- Steve Miller)

#956.  Mary Miller (Psyhco Killer --- Talking Heads)

#957.  Middleton (Black Hole Sun --- Soundgarden)

#958.  Miller's A Liar (Killer Of Giants --- Ozzy Osbourne)

#960.  Henry D. McMaster (Beautiful Disaster --- 311)

#962.  Journey Together (Happy Together --- Weezer)

#963.  Schmidt Is White (Hit The Lights --- Metallica)

#966.  Violent Fight (Holy Night --- The Tabernacle Choir at Temple Square)

#967.  Donald Jr. (Way Cool Jr. --- Ratt)

#968.  We Don't Need No Tim O'Hare (I Don't Need No Rocking Chair --- George Jones)

#970.  Fuck Donald Trump (You Think You're Tough --- Ratt)

#972.  Schmidt's An Asshat (Hit The Road Jack --- Ray Charles)

#973.  Insurrection (White, Discussion --- Live)

#974.  Senator Rounds (I'll Stick Around --- Foo Fighters)

#976.  Matt DePerno (The Muppet Show Theme Song --- Sam Pottle)

#977.  Wisconsin Johnson (Wisconsin Death Trip --- Static X)

#978.  Finchem (Red Rum --- The Shining)

#979.  Going To Mar-A-Lago (Going To California --- Led Zeppelin)

#980.  McCormick's Thing (Lunatic Fringe --- Tom Cochrane w/ Red Rider)

#981.  Jordan I Can't Stand (Burden In My Hand --- Soundgarden)

#982.  Gosar Is Gay (So Far Away --- Dire Straits)

#983.  Mike Rounds Senator (The Hounds Of Winter --- Sting)

#985.  Mike Crapo (I Don't Know --- Ozzy)

 

Please do not share this material with Senator Mike Crapo (R-ID) and/or former President Donald J. Trump.


 

 

No comments: