#1924. Suarez

Miami Mayor Francis Suarez just filed his candidacy for the Republican nomination.  The Cuban American a/k/a "Cubes" says he's not afraid to make "tough choices."  

But when asked whether he would pardon the Orange Prolapse, he refused to answer.  Instead simply replying that he would "do what's best for healing the country." 

 

Mayor Suarez is currently the 12th piece of shit to enter the Republican primary.  A gutless Cuban Sandwich reminiscent of the Turd Sandwich who once challenged a giant douche.

The mere notion that this mayoral clown shares a last name with that of former Liverpool Striker Luis Suarez... is an abomination.  The likes of which the world has never seen.

MAGA Dump Alert!  Taylor Swift alert.  Spotted just outside the stadium this afternoon.  (Gate B)

 

Suarez
sonofsaf

Suarez
Fucked Marco Rubio
Real deep inside his asshole
Divides
The insurrection
Donald Trump is not a king,
But The Donald he’ll defend
Donald, ain’t his enemy
Oh
Trump will bring the sorrow
Trump’s gonna bring more sorrow
Trump’s gonna bring more sorrow

Suarez
Forty-five is a fat clown
He always takes a big shit
He blows
Mar-uh-fuckin’ Lago
A coup d’état plan
Insurrection is okay
Suarez
The Orange Prolapse leaves a stain
Stormy Daniels’ pussy’s shaved
Affair created sorrow
He’s gonna bring more sorrow
He’s gonna bring more sorrow

Trump is fat
That retard will lie
His little thing man
Full of shit
Putin will disarm
His job to blow (To blow, to blow)
On golden toilet he’ll sit

Shit shows
Stormy whore was great
His cock was on the fake news
Trump’s weight
Propecia for his hair
A seven sinner
And a faggot
Suarez
Jared Kushner is a cunt
Ivanka is show biz
That Euro-trash is sucking wiener
Melania is slutty
That Euro-trash is slutty

Trump is fat
That retard will lie
His little thing man
Full of shit
Putin will disarm
His job to blow (To blow, to blow)
On golden toilet he’ll sit

Suarez
Suarez

 

 

Jane Says
Jane’s Addiction

Jane says
I'm done with Sergio
He treat me like a rag-doll
She hides
The television
Says I don't owe him nothing,
But if he come back again
Tell him, wait right here for me
Or
Try again tomorrow
I'm gonna kick tomorrow
I'm gonna kick tomorrow

Jane says
Have you seen my wig around?
I feel naked without it
She knows
They all want her to go
But that's O.K. man
She don't like them anyway
Jane says
I'm going away to Spain
When I get my money saved
I'm gonna start tomorrow
I'm gonna kick tomorrow
I'm gonna kick tomorrow

She get mad
and she start to cry
She take a swing man
She can't hit
She don't mean no harm
She just don't know (Don't know, don't know)
What else to do about it

Jane goes
To the store at 8:00
She walks up on St. Andrew's
She waits
And gets her dinner there
She pulls her dinner
From her pocket
Jane says
I ain't never been in love
I don't know what it is
She only knows if someone wants her
I wonder if they want me
I only know they want me

She gets mad
And she starts to cry
She takes a swing man
She can't hit!
She don't mean no harm
She just don't know (Don't know, don't know)
What else to do about it

Jane says
Jane says

My second parody of Jane Says.  Last year, I penned #1500.  Nunes.  A tribute to former Congressman Devin Nunes (R-CA).

Jane's Addiction has injected the Burgh a grand total of 8 times.  They were scheduled to open for the Smashing Pumpkins back in October of 2022... but canceled.

Jane’s Addiction:

5-7-91, A.J. Palumbo Center, Pittsburgh, PA
7-19-03, Post Gazette Pavilion, Burgettstown, PA (Lollapalooza)
7-10-15, Stage AE, Pittsburgh, PA

Porno for Pyros:

8-20-93, I.C. Light Amphitheatre, Pittsburgh, PA

The Big Lie 100: (#1085)

#1740.  CPAC (Stand Back --- Stevie Nicks)

#1741.  CPAC's Frightnin' (Smokestack Lightnin' --- Grateful Dead)

#1742.  Hatin' Nate Schatzline (Lay It On the Line --- Triumph)

#1743.  Nate Schatzline (Hold The Line --- Toto)

#1744.*  Faking The Violence (Breaking The Silence --- Queensryche)

#1745.  Treason He's A Cunt (Seasons In The Sun --- Terry Jacks)

#1746.  Tucker (Fucker --- Brian Jonestown Massacre)

#1747.  Lake's My Enemy (Cake And Sodomy --- Marilyn Manson)

#1748.  Newt (Cute --- Bobby Darrin)

#1749.  Donald Trump Is Gay (Take My Breath Away --- Berlin)

#1750.  Markwayne Mullin (Cocaine And Gin --- Kid Rock)

#1751.  Stormy's Better (Stormy Weather --- Billie Holiday)

#1752.  Stormy's Wetter (Stormy Weather --- The Pixies)

#1753.  Bell (Hell --- Foo Fighters)

#1754.  Will Will Slap You (We Will Rock You --- Queen)

#1755.  Donald Trump's a Cunt (On The Wings Of Love --- Jeffrey Osbourne)

#1756.  Donald Is A Child (Bad Boys Running Wild --- Scorpions)

#1757.  Donald's A Child (Running Wild --- Judas Priest)

#1758.  McConnell (Raising Hell --- Tom Morello & Ben Harper)

#1759.  ... Jim Justice Asshole (... And Justice For All --- Metallica) 

#1760.  Mike Pence Is Shit (Don't Fence Me In --- Willie Nelson)

#1761.  Blum (Dumb --- Nirvana)

#1762.  Charlie Kirk Sold Out (We Can Work It Out --- The Beatles)

#1763.  Xi Fucks You (She Loves You --- The Beatles)

#1764.  Has Been Chip Roy (Seek And Destroy --- Metallica)

#1765.  Steil (Smile -- Pearl Jam)

#1766.  Congressman Steil's Critical Race (God Put A Smile Upon Your Face --- Coldplay)

#1767.  Steil's A Liar (Trial By Fire --- Testament)

#1768.  Xi's Fucking Trump's Wife (She's Out Of My Life --- Michael Jackson)

#1769.  His Name Is Dave Williams (How I Made My Millions --- Radiohead)

#1770.  Xi Jinping's A Basket Case (Everything In Its Right Place --- Radiohead)

#1771.  Hovde Will Fuck You (Lovely To See You --- Moody Blues)

#1772.  Jim Justice (Seed Justice --- Neil Young)

#1773.  Steil (Smile --- Michael Jackson)

#1774.  Xi Jinping's Dead (Everything Zen --- Bush)

#1775.  Robinson (Machine Gun --- The Commodores)

#1776.  Donald's An Orange Prolapse Fart (Owner Of A Lonely Heart --- Yes)

#1777.  Nashville Isn't Lucky (Nashville to Kentucky --- My Morning Jacket)

#1778.  Tennessee Dead (Tennessee Jed --- Grateful Dead)

#1779.  Tim Burchett's Shitty (Suffragette City --- David Bowie)

#1780.  On Fox News Sean Hannity (The Frayed Ends Of Sanity --- Metallica)

#1781.  What The Fuck (Thunderstruck --- AC/DC)

#1782.  Indicted (United --- Judas Priest)

#1783.  Indicted Cunt (United Blood --- Agnostic Front)

#1784.  Indicted Not Long (United And Strong --- Agnostic Front)

#1785.  Indicted As Planned (United We Stand --- Elton John)

#1786.  Why Do Proud Boys Need More Dildos (Are There Any More Real Cowboys --- Neil Young)

#1787.  Don't Lie For Trump Tacopina (Don't Cry For Me Argentina --- Madonna)

#1788.  Moore's A Shit Show (More Than You Know --- Eddie Vedder)

#1789.  Asshole Of Obscenity (Centre Of Eternity --- Ozzy Osbourne) 

#1790.  Hutchinson (One By One --- Neil Diamond)

#1791.  Treason Of Jim Justice (Seasons In The Abyss --- Slayer)

#1792.  Hutchinson (Number One --- Laid Back)

#1793.  James Comer (The Loner --- Neil Young)

#1794.  Taylor Greene (Billie Jean --- Michael Jackson)

#1795.  Douglas Burgum (Here Comes The Sun --- The Beatles)

#1796.  Bill Barr (Ya Mar --- Phish)

#1797.  Cotham's Shit-Stained Face (Awesome In This Place --- Tricia Cotham)

#1798.  Katie's Shittin' (Baby Sittin' --- Carole King)

#1799.  Asshole LaPierre (Back Door Love Affair --- ZZ Top)

#1800.  Senator Daines (Breaking The Chains --- Dokken)

#1801.  LaPierre Pride (Delaware Slide --- George Thorogood)

#1802.  Tricia Cotham (Apple Blossom --- White Stripes)

#1803.  Jeff Roe (Death Row --- Chris Stapleton)

#1807.  Trusty's Rage (Rusty Cage --- Soundgarden)

#1808.  Taylor Greene (Shirley Green --- Foghat)

#1809.  Jeff Roe (Hello --- Lionel Richie)

#1810.  Ohio's Moreno (Avenu Malkenu --- Phish)

#1811.  45 Love Affair ('65 Love Affair --- Paul Davis)

#1812.  Warthog (Hound Dog --- Elvis Presley)

#1813.  Kristi Noem (Kodachrome --- Paul Simon & Art Garfunkel)

#1814.  Warthog (Hot Dog --- Led Zeppelin)

#1815.  Jared Kushner Is A Jew (Only Wanna Be With You --- Hootie & The Blowfish)

#1816.  Kristi Noem (Hell Is Chrome --- Wilco)

#1817.  Taylor Greene (Polly Jean --- Toadies)

#1818.  Jeff Roe (Hello --- Electric Light Orchestra)

#1819.  Christie (Misty --- Johnny Mathis)

#1820.  Swing State (I'm Late --- Bill Thompson)

#1821.  SpaceX (Spaceboy --- Smashing Pumpkins)

#1822.  We Are The Trumpers (We Are The World --- USA For Africa)

#1823.  Twitter Fuck (Thunderstruck --- AC/DC) 

#1824.  Kelly Cunt (Belly Love - The Kooks)

#1825.  Mike Lindell (Burn In Hell --- Twisted Sister)

#1826.  George Santos (Small Doses --- Travis Tritt)

#1827.  Trump Is The Enemy (What Do You Want From Me --- Pink Floyd)

#1828.  Sheriff Joe (Mexico --- Neil Young)

#1829.  Sheriff Joe (Mexico --- Merle Haggard)

#1830.  Fucking Tool Tate Reeves (What A Fool Believes --- Doobie Brothers) 

#1831.  Taylor Greene (Creeping Jean --- The Kinks)

#1832.  Noem (Chrome --- Joe Jackson)

#1833.  Fuck Huckabee's Koozies (Wake Up Little Suzie --- Grateful Dead)

#1834.  Sheriff Joe (Mexico --- Cake)

#1835.  Taylor Greene (Amber Jean --- Neil Young)

#1836.  Steven Daines (Astral Planes --- Smashing Pumpkins)

#1837.  Jim (Jim --- Faith No More)

#1838.  Daines (Chains --- The Beatles)

#1839.  Conaway (Day By Day --- The Hooters)

#1840.  Trump's Devout (Steppin' Out --- Joe Jackson)

#1841.  Daines The Enemy (Chains Of Misery --- Iron Maiden)

#1842.  Donald Trump Is Dead (We Are Motorhead --- Motorhead)

#1843.  Spencer Cox (Heart-Shaped Box --- Nirvana)

#1844.  Rejected (Elected --- Alice Cooper)

#1845.  Red Devil (Cold Ethyl --- Alice Cooper)

#1846.  Only Donald Feeds (Only Women Bleed --- Alice Cooper)

#1847.  Bruce (Deuce --- The Cardigans)

#1848.  Scott Is So Shitty (Hot In The City --- Billy Idol)

#1849.  Bruce (Deuce --- Kiss)

#1850.  That Drone Wasn't From Ukraine  (Have You Ever Seen The Rain --- Creedence Clearwater Revival)

#1851.  Who'll Stop Ukraine (Who'll Stop The Rain --- Creedence Clearwater Revival)

#1852.  Selena Chambers (The Entertainer --- Billy Joel)

#1853.  Here Cum Proud Boys (Here Come Cowboys --- Psychadelic Furs)

#1854.  Blame It On Ukraine (Blame It On The Rain --- Milli Vanilli)

#1855.  A Coronation (My Generation --- The Who)

#1856.  Coronation (Celebration --- Kool And The Gang)

#1857.  Mamas Don't Let Your Babies Grow Up To Be Proud Boys (Mamas Don't Let Your Babies Grow Up To Cowboys --- Willie Nelson)

#1858.  Be Best Plan (Sharp Dressed Man --- ZZ Top)

#1859.  Allen, Texas (Pearl Necklace --- ZZ Top)

#1860.  Coronations (Revelations --- Iron Maiden)

#1861.  AR-15 (The Drunkk Machine --- Thom Yorke)

#1862.  Be Best With Hate (Possessed To Skate --- Suicidal Tendencies)

#1863.  AR-15 (Killing Machine --- L.A. Guns)

#1864.  Russia's In Ukraine (Shadows In The Rain --- The Police)

#1865.  Be Best (Go West --- The Village People) 

#1866. AR-15 (Woman Machine --- Alice Cooper)

#1867.  AR-15 (Fuck You) --- (A New Machine (Part II) --- Pink Floyd)

#1868.  (We Don't Want No) Ronny Jackson (I Can't Get No) Satisfaction --- Rolling Stones)

#1869.  Penny And The Death (Bennie And The Jets --- Elton John)

#1870.  Prolapse Fart (Hungry Heart --- Bruce Springsteen)

#1871.  AR-15 (Age Of Machine --- Greta Van Fleet)

#1872.  McCullough (Calcutta --- Warren Zevon)

#1873.  The Weirdos Have Always Been Proud Boys (My Heroes Have Always Been Cowboys --- Willie Nelson)

#1874.  Gay Knipper (Day Tripper --- The Beatles)

#1875.  Greene's Inbred (Jean Is Dead --- The Descendants)

#1876.  Gonna Blame It On Ukraine (Only Happy When It Rains --- Garbage)

#1877.  Tik Tok (Locked In --- Judas Priest)

#1878.  The Diss (The Kiss --- The Cure)

#1879.  Jon Voight Is Shitty (Detroit Rock City --- Kiss)

#1880.  Christie's Gay You Will Discover (Fifty Ways To Leave Your Lover --- Paul Simon)

#1881.  Youngkin (Skin Thin --- Ben Harper)

#1882.  Orange Prolapse Stain (Who'll Stop The Rain --- Creedence Clearwater Revival)

#1883.  Unhinged MTG (Unchained Melody --- U2)

#1884.  Be Best (Go West --- Brooks and Dunn)

#1885.  Steven Daines (Lovin' Chains --- Chicago)

#1886.  Jared Kushner's A Fucking Jew (I Hate Myself For Loving You --- Joan Jett & The Blackhearts)

#1887.  Epshtyen, Boris (Wordless Chorus --- My Morning Jacket) 

#1888.  Youngkin's Not A Jew (Thinkin' About You --- Radiohead)

#1889.  Huckabee (Company --- America)

#1890.  Cuccinelli (Smelly Nelly --- Krokus)

#1891.  Greg Gianforte (Let's Go All The Way --- Sly Fox)

#1892.  Gianforte (Election Day --- The Replacements)

#1893.  No Transgender (No Surrender --- Bruce Springsteen)

#1894.  Big Chest (The Best --- Tina Turner)

#1895.  Kristi Noem, Elmer Rhodes (Take Me Home, Country Roads --- Brad Paisley)

#1896.  Rhodes Less Traveled (Roads Untraveled --- Linkin' Park)

#1897.  Gianforte (Election Day --- Arcadia)

#1898.  Putin (Lukin --- Pearl Jam)

#1899.  Higgins A Pervert (Digging In The Dirt --- Peter Gabriel)

#1900.  Paxton's A Clown (Relaxing Town --- Stephen Stills)

#1901.  Beat Up Ken Paxton (Piece Of Your Action --- Motley Crue)

#1902.  Christie (Misty --- Ella Fitzgerald)

#1903.  Chris (Piss --- Pantera)

#1904.  Rubio (Even Flow --- Pearl Jam)

#1905.  Jared's A Jew (Into The Groove --- Madonna)

#1906.  Not A Jew (Stella Blue --- Grateful Dead)

#1907.  Monahan (Middle Man --- Living Colour)

#1908.  Monahan (Superman --- R.E.M.)

#1909.  Here Cums DeWine (Here Comes Sunshine --- Grateful Dead)

#1910.  Putin (Wilson --- Phish)

#1911.  The Insurrection (In Your Direction --- Ratt)

#1912.  Shittin' On Mike Pence (Sittin' On A Fence ---  Rolling Stones)

#1913.  Trump's Insurrection (Love And Affection --- Def Leppard)

#1914.  Indict (First Light --- My Morning Jacket)

#1915.  Indict Bud Light (Tonight's The Night --- Neil Young)

#1916.  Mr. Christie (Mr. Charlie --- Grateful Dead)

#1917.  Paxton (Action --- Scorpions)

#1918.  Monahan (Better Man --- Pearl Jam)

#1919.  Trump's So Indicted (I'm So Excited --- Pointer Sisters)

#1920.  Lake's A Disease (Fake Plastic Trees --- Radiohead)

#1921.  Kushner's A Jew (It Hurts Me Too --- Grateful Dead)

#1922.  Judge Cannon (Loose Cannon --- Killing Joke)

#1923.  Take It Off (Shake It Off --- Taylor Swift)

#1924.  Suarez (Jane Says --- Jane's Addiction)

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Please do not share this material with Francis Suarez and/or former President Donald J. Trump.