Thursday, October 20, 2022

#1500. Nunes

When Donald Trump assumed office in 2016, former Congressman Devin Nunes (R-CA) really had it goin' on.  

He was a power player in the Congressional limelight.  But these days he's basically just a phony piece of shit.

An admittedly synthetic Trump Dump.

Lest I remind you, that anything Trump touches, eventually turns to shit.

I'd normally seek out a legit Trump Dump.  But nobody dahntahn would have a clue what the fuck it means.  Why?  Because Nunes is a distant memory.  Just another establishment Republican, much like fellow Californian Kevin McCarthy, who sold his nonexistent soul to Trump.

Devin Nunes is in charge of Truth Social, Trump's "faux-twitter" platform.  Which is trending towards oblivion.  Miami Herald reporter Jay Weaver explains.  But I will gladly summarize.  

You see, the entire company is fundamentally a glorified Orange Prolapse MySpace page.  Not a good look.

Dedicated to Kitters.  RIP (10-19-22)



I-van-ka whore

Devin runs Truth Social
His seat’s in a toilet stall
Big lies
The insurrection
Stormy there was no fucking,
Now we’ll just have to pretend
Jism there’s no cum here to see
Some weight gain and sorrow
Trump brings weight gain and sorrow
Trump brings the pain and sorrow

Says that Donald is a clown
But likes to keep it private
He blows
Homo fellatio
Swallowing’s the plan
Wants to keep men very gay
Orange Prolapse leaves a stain
'Cause he ain’t that well behaved
Trump’s not the straightest arrow
Trump brings weight gain and sorrow
Trump brings the pain and sorrow

Trump is bad
And he loves to lie
A coup d’etat plan
Piece of shit
Animal of farm
Trump’s a dumbo (Dumbo, dumbo)
An elephant of bullshit

Trump knows
Biden’s very great
He’ll fuck you with the fake news
He hates
And doesn’t even care
A fool and sinner
Stormy’s socket
What a California cunt
A total piece of shit
He only blows The Donald… impure!
A blunder in our country
A shit show for our country

Trump is bad
And he loves to lie
A coup d’etat plan
Piece of shit
Animal of farm
Trump’s a dumbo (Dumbo, dumbo)
An elephant of bullshit



Jane Says
Jane’s Addiction

One, two, three, four

Jane says
I'm done with Sergio
He treat me like a rag-doll
She hides
The television
Tell him I don't owe him nothing,
But if he come back again
Tell him, to wait right here for me
Try again tomorrow
I'm gonna kick tomorrow
I'm gonna kick tomorrow

Jane says
Have you seen my wig around?
I feel naked without it
She knows
They all want her to go
But that's O.K. man
She don't like them anyway
Jane says
I'm going away to Spain
When I get my money saved
I'm gonna start tomorrow
I'm gonna kick tomorrow
I'm gonna kick tomorrow

She get mad
and she start to cry
She take a swing man
She can't hit
She don't mean no harm
She just don't know (Don't know, don't know)
What else to do about it

Jane goes
To the store at 8:00
She walks up on St. Andrew's
She waits
And gets her dinner there
She pulls her dinner
From her pocket
Jane says
I ain't never been in love
I don't know what it is
She only knows if someone wants her
I wonder if they want me
I only know they want me

She gets mad
And she starts to cry
She takes a swing man
She can't hit!
She don't mean no harm
She just don't know (Don't know, don't know)
What else to do about it

Jane says
Jane says

I've always been a big fan of Jane's Addiction.  A big fan of Jane, and to a lesser degree, addiction.

Back in the early 90's, I was at a friend's apartment in New York City.  He had a few of his buddies over for an impromptu crab boil.  A question arose... Who is the best rock band currently on tour?  I said, "Jane's Addiction.  Hands down."  He looked at me and inquired, "Dude, what about the Beastie Boys?"  

There was a lengthy moment of awkward silence.  Just a random memory. 

This is my second parody of "Jane Says."  Back in April, I penned #1151.  "Jane's Red."  A tribute to failed Republican Ohio U.S. Senate candidate Jane Timkin.  In my propheted estimation, this "Noon-Ez" version is considerably better.

From 1988 to 2015, Jane's Addiction has played the Burgh a grand total of 8 times.  They make their triumphant return to PPG Paints Arena this Saturday opening up for the Smashing Pumpkins.

Jane’s Addiction:

5-7-91, A.J. Palumbo Center, Pittsburgh, PA
7-19-03, Post Gazette Pavilion, Burgettstown, PA (Lollapalooza)
7-10-15, Stage AE, Pittsburgh, PA

Porno for Pyros:

8-20-93, I.C. Light Amphitheatre, Pittsburgh, PA


The Big Lie 100: (#675)

#1417.  Crudite Mode (Holiday Road --- Lindsey Buckingham)

#1418.  Wants Crudite (So Far Away --- Dire Straits)

#1419.  The Crudite (Not Fade Away --- Grateful Dead)

#1420.  Crudite Din (Holiday Inn --- Elton John)
#1421.  Tiffany Smiley (Baba O'Riley --- Grateful Dead)

#1422.  Markwayne (Cocaine --- Eric Clapton)
#1423.  Coco Elaine (Hello Again --- The Cars)
#1424.  Ill Campaigns (Still Remains --- Stone Temple Pilots)
#1425.  Crudite (Yesterday --- Paul McCartney)
#1426.  Roe Roe Roe Your Vote (Row Row Row Your Vote --- Ella Fitzgerald)
#1427.  Tate Reeves (Governor Blows) (Believe (Nobody Knows) --- My Morning Jacket)
#1428.  Eatin' Crudite (Surfin' U.S.A. --- Beach Boys)
#1429.  Mrs. Smiley (Mr. Smiley --- Poison)
#1430.  Mitch McConnell (Old MacDonald --- Unknown)
#1431.  Master Is Special (Master Of Puppets --- Metallica) 

#1432.  Crudite (Holiday --- Bee Gees)
#1433.  Fucked Up Ass Blake Masters (Fabulous Disaster --- Exodus)
#1434.  Mrs. Smiley (Mr. Crowley --- Ozzy Osbourne)
#1435.  Talk To Mark Meadows (Walk In The Shadows --- Queensryche)
#1436. Chris Kice (The Price -- Twisted Sister)

#1437.  Crudite (Stay Away --- Nirvana)

#1438.  Crudite (New Year's Day --- U2)

#1439.  One More Crudite Bite (One More Saturday Night --- Grateful Dead)

#1440.  The Crudite's Bad (The Crudite) (Don't Go Away Mad (Just Go Away) --- Motley Crue)

#1441.  Crudite (Say Say Say --- Paul McCartney & Michael Jackson)

#1442.  That Donald Trump Is... (All In The Name Of... Motley Crue)

#1443.  Comer Isn't Very Smart (Owner Of A Lonely Heart --- Yes)

#1444.  Mehmet Oz (Just Because --- Jane's Addiction)

#1445.  A Piece Of Shit From The Start (Total Eclipse Of The Heart --- Bonnie Tyler)

#1446.  J.D. (Lady --- Styx)

#1447.  J.D. Vance (My Romance --- Carly Simon)

#1448.  Donald Trump's Hair (Ya Mo B There --- Michael McDonald)

#1449.  Dixon, Tudor (Touch My Tooter --- Ween)

#1450.  J.D. (Lady --- Little River Band)

#1451.  J.D. Is Gay (Lay Lady Lay --- Bob Dylan)

#1452.  Tudor Dixon (Superstition --- Stevie Wonder)

#1453.  Richard Woods (Harry Hood --- Phish)

#1454.  Woods (Would --- Alice In Chains)

#1455.  Ted Budd (Blackbird --- The Beatles)

#1456.  Budd Is Far Right (Bloody Well Right --- Supertramp)

#1457.  Trump's Strange (La Grange --- ZZ Top)

#1458.  Ashley Kalus (Brokedown Palace --- Grateful Dead)

#1459.  Hung Cao (Right Now --- Van Halen)

#1460.  Hung Cao (Black Cow --- Steely Dan)

#1461.  Scott Jensen (Confusion --- Electric Light Orchestra)

#1462.  Meet Mehmet (Meet The Mets --- Ruth Roberts & Bill Katz)

#1463.  Bolduc (Holed Up --- The Raconteurs)

#1464.  Bolduc's Fucked up (Hold Your Head Up --- Argent)

#1465.  Vance Is A Cunt (Eminence Front --- The Who)

#1466.  Oh Mike Lindell (The First Noel --- Brian Wilson)

#1467.  A Fucking Assclown (The Final Countdown --- Europe)

#1468.  Kim Jong Un Will Fight (Afternoon Delight --- Starland Vocal Band)

#1469.  Majewski's Outta Line (Nobody's Fault But Mine --- Led Zeppelin)

#1470.  I Guess That's Why They Call Him A Jew (I Guess That's Why They Call It The Blues --- Elton John)

#1471.  Crudite Plate (Runaway Train --- Soul Asylum)

#1472.  Roger Stone (Danger Zone --- Kenny Loggins)

#1473.  Roger Stone (Danger Zone --- The Ramones)

#1474.  Laxalt (Asshole --- Tom Petty)

#1475.  Trump Is A Bitch (Under The Bridge --- Red Hot Chili Peppers)

#1476.  Mark Meadows Loves Gay Porn (Every Rose Has A Thorn --- Poison)

#1477.  Kim Jong's Illin' (You Be Illin' --- Run DMC)

#1478.  Bad Roger Stone (Bad To The Bone --- George Thorogood & The Destroyers)

#1479.  Burt (Hurt --- Nine Inch Nails)

#1480.  Pate Is A Geek (Eight Days A Week --- The Beatles)

#1481.  Poor Sandy Smith (Poor Ellen Smith --- Billy Strings)

#1482.  Laxalt (Blackout --- Scorpions)

#1483.  Steve J. Scalise (Karma Police --- Radiohead)

#1484. Steve Scalise (Dream Police --- Cheap Trick)

#1485.  Teddy Cruz (Boggie Shoes --- KC & The Sunshine Band)

#1486. Ronchetti (Black Betty --- Metal Church)

#1487.  Joe O'Dea (Day By Day --- The Hooters)

#1488.  Tommy Tuberville (A View To A Kill --- Duran Duran) 

#1489.  Fuck You Trumpers (All You Zombies --- The Hooters)

#1490.  A. Biggs (War Pigs --- Black Sabbath)

#1491.  Rubio Ga Ga (Radio Ga Ga --- Queen)

#1492.  Moran (Old Man --- Neil Young)

#1493.  Trump's A Liar (Ring Of Fire --- Johnny Cash)

#1494.  Why Does Ivanka Blow (Where Do The Children Go --- The Hooters)

#1495.  Why Why, Gay Gay (Chris Sununu) (My My, Hey Hey (Out Of The Blue) --- Neil Young)

#1496.  Tonight Ivanka Masturbates For You (Tonight I Want To Celebrate With You --- My Morning Jacket)

#1497.  Marco A. Rubio (Turn Up The Radio --- Autograph)

#1498.  Tshibaka (Fuck You) (Axilla (Part II --- Phish)

#1499.  Sinning (Winning --- Santana)

#1500.  Nunes (Jane Says --- Jane's Addiction)


Please do not share this material with Devin Nunes and/or former President Donald J. Trump.


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