Thursday, October 06, 2022

#1482. Laxalt

Other than that he's the 2022 Republican candidate for Governor of Nevada, I really don't have much to say about Orange Prolapse sycophant Adam Laxalt.  


He's just another member of the GOP establishment who has seemingly "lost his way."  

Well, at least for the time being.  You know... for convenience sake.

So in lieu of that shit, how 'bout a daily dose of some fresh Trump Dumps?


Corner of 8th & Penn.  Just outside The Eagle restaurant.

Andy Warhol Bridge


One of many from yesterday located outside Gold Lot 2 next to Stage AE.  Canine excrement was ubiquitous for the Pirates finale.  I actually witnessed a teen Bucco fan step in it.  Should've gotten video (him desperately trying to keep up with the family while simultaneously wiping off his shoe).  This tragedy could have been averted had I gotten there 30 seconds earlier and labeled the dogshit accordingly.  


At the intersection of 9th & Penn Ave.


West General Robinson Ave.  Across from PNC Park.


The stench was both foul and glorious.  All in all, a very busy day for Trump Dumps.

 


 

Laxalt
sonofsaf

Big Mac and fries McDonald’s yay
‘Cause Donald Trump took a dump today
An orange fat clown a basket case
Human life what a fucking waste
There can be no doubt
He’ll whine, bitch, and pout

He shits a load, ass it sings
And in November the votes come in
Prolapsing shit show and all
Colon bulging out his asshole
There can be no doubt
He’ll whine, bitch, and pout

Laxalt
Nevada’s Adam Laxalt

Laxalt
Nevada’s Adam Laxalt

Laxalt
Nevada’s Adam Laxalt

Laxalt
Nevada’s Adam Laxalt

Daughter-wife’s bling, dumpster of cum
Never a doubt, Ivanka's a cunt
A job to blow advisor flop
Date of 1-6 let's go kill some cops
There can be no doubt
He’ll whine, bitch, and pout

Laxalt
Nevada’s Adam Laxalt

Laxalt
Nevada’s Adam Laxalt

Laxalt
Nevada’s Adam Laxalt

Laxalt
Nevada’s Adam Laxalt

There can be no doubt
He’ll cry, bitch, and pout

Laxalt
Nevada’s Adam Laxalt!

 

 

Blackout
Scorpions

I realize I missed a day
But I'm too wrecked to care anyway
I look around and see this face
What the hell have I lost my taste
Don't want to find out
Just want to cut out

My head explodes, my ears ring
I can't remember just where I've been
The last thing that I recall
I got lost in a deep black hole
Don't want to find out
Just want to cut out

Blackout
I really had a blackout

Blackout
I really had a blackout

Blackout
I really had a blackout

Blackout
I really had a blackout

I grab my things and make my run
On the way out, another one
Would like to know before I stop
Did I make it or did I flop
Don't want to find out
Just want to get out

Blackout
I really had a blackout

Blackout
I really had a blackout

Blackout
I really had a blackout

Blackout
I really had a blackout

Don't want to find out
Just want to get out

Blackout
I really had a blackout!



My second parody of "Blackout."  Earlier in the year, in anticipation of an MLB players strike, I wrote #1068.  "Lockout"

Whatever the case, this song truly makes for a great opener.  Klaus Meine, their lead singer, had the absolute best "anti-afro receding hairline" in the history of heavy metal.


Honorable mention: RJD.



From 1979 to 2010, the Scorps played the Burgh a grand total of 9 times.


Scorpions:

6-15-88, Three Rivers Stadium, Pittsburgh, PA (Monsters of Rock)

6-23-88, Rubber Bowl, Akron, OH (Monsters of Rock) 

9-21-88, Hara Arena, Dayton, OH (w/ Kingdom Come)

6-15-02, Post-Gazette Pavilion, Burgettstown, PA (w/ Deep Purple)

 

The Big Lie 100: (#657)

#1417.  Crudite Mode (Holiday Road --- Lindsey Buckingham)

#1418.  Wants Crudite (So Far Away --- Dire Straits)

#1419.  The Crudite (Not Fade Away --- Grateful Dead)

#1420.  Crudite Din (Holiday Inn --- Elton John)
 
#1421.  Tiffany Smiley (Baba O'Riley --- Grateful Dead)

#1422.  Markwayne (Cocaine --- Eric Clapton)
 
#1423.  Coco Elaine (Hello Again --- The Cars)
 
#1424.  Ill Campaigns (Still Remains --- Stone Temple Pilots)
 
#1425.  Crudite (Yesterday --- Paul McCartney)
 
#1426.  Roe Roe Roe Your Vote (Row Row Row Your Vote --- Ella Fitzgerald)
 
#1427.  Tate Reeves (Governor Blows) (Believe (Nobody Knows) --- My Morning Jacket)
 
#1428.  Eatin' Crudite (Surfin' U.S.A. --- Beach Boys)
 
#1429.  Mrs. Smiley (Mr. Smiley --- Poison)
 
#1430.  Mitch McConnell (Old MacDonald --- Unknown)
 
#1431.  Master Is Special (Master Of Puppets --- Metallica) 

#1432.  Crudite (Holiday --- Bee Gees)
 
#1433.  Fucked Up Ass Blake Masters (Fabulous Disaster --- Exodus)
 
#1434.  Mrs. Smiley (Mr. Crowley --- Ozzy Osbourne)
 
#1435.  Talk To Mark Meadows (Walk In The Shadows --- Queensryche)
 
#1436. Chris Kice (The Price -- Twisted Sister)

#1437.  Crudite (Stay Away --- Nirvana)

#1438.  Crudite (New Year's Day --- U2)

#1439.  One More Crudite Bite (One More Saturday Night --- Grateful Dead)

#1440.  The Crudite's Bad (The Crudite) (Don't Go Away Mad (Just Go Away) --- Motley Crue)

#1441.  Crudite (Say Say Say --- Paul McCartney & Michael Jackson)

#1442.  That Donald Trump Is... (All In The Name Of... Motley Crue)

#1443.  Comer Isn't Very Smart (Owner Of A Lonely Heart --- Yes)

#1444.  Mehmet Oz (Just Because --- Jane's Addiction)

#1445.  A Piece Of Shit From The Start (Total Eclipse Of The Heart --- Bonnie Tyler)

#1446.  J.D. (Lady --- Styx)

#1447.  J.D. Vance (My Romance --- Carly Simon)

#1448.  Donald Trump's Hair (Ya Mo B There --- Michael McDonald)

#1449.  Dixon, Tudor (Touch My Tooter --- Ween)

#1450.  J.D. (Lady --- Little River Band)

#1451.  J.D. Is Gay (Lay Lady Lay --- Bob Dylan)

#1452.  Tudor Dixon (Superstition --- Stevie Wonder)

#1453.  Richard Woods (Harry Hood --- Phish)

#1454.  Woods (Would --- Alice In Chains)

#1455.  Ted Budd (Blackbird --- The Beatles)

#1456.  Budd Is Far Right (Bloody Well Right --- Supertramp)

#1457.  Trump's Strange (La Grange --- ZZ Top)

#1458.  Ashley Kalus (Brokedown Palace --- Grateful Dead)

#1459.  Hung Cao (Right Now --- Van Halen)

#1460.  Hung Cao (Black Cow --- Steely Dan)

#1461.  Scott Jensen (Confusion --- Electric Light Orchestra)

#1462.  Meet Mehmet (Meet The Mets --- Ruth Roberts & Bill Katz)

#1463.  Bolduc (Holed Up --- The Raconteurs)

#1464.  Bolduc's Fucked up (Hold Your Head Up --- Argent)

#1465.  Vance Is A Cunt (Eminence Front --- The Who)

#1466.  Oh Mike Lindell (The First Noel --- Brian Wilson)

#1467.  A Fucking Assclown (The Final Countdown --- Europe)

#1468.  Kim Jong Un Will Fight (Afternoon Delight --- Starland Vocal Band)

#1469.  Majewski's Outta Line (Nobody's Fault But Mine --- Led Zeppelin)

#1470.  I Guess That's Why They Call Him A Jew (I Guess That's Why They Call It The Blues --- Elton John)

#1471.  Crudite Plate (Runaway Train --- Soul Asylum)

#1472.  Roger Stone (Danger Zone --- Kenny Loggins)

#1473.  Roger Stone (Danger Zone --- The Ramones)

#1474.  Laxalt (Asshole --- Tom Petty)

#1475.  Trump Is A Bitch (Under The Bridge --- Red Hot Chili Peppers)

#1476.  Mark Meadows Loves Gay Porn (Every Rose Has A Thorn --- Poison)

#1477.  Kim Jong's Illin' (You Be Illin' --- Run DMC)

#1478.  Bad Roger Stone (Bad To The Bone --- George Thorogood & The Destroyers)

#1479.  Burt (Hurt --- Nine Inch Nails)

#1480.  Pate Is A Geek (Eight Days A Week --- The Beatles)

#1481.  Poor Sandy Smith (Poor Ellen Smith --- Billy Strings)

#1482.  Laxalt (Blackout --- Scorpions)


Please do not share this information with Adam Laxalt and/or former President Donald J. Trump.


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