#1501. (We Don't Want No) Kenneth Paxton

Erection pervert, er uh... Election Alert!  In a statewide race in Texas, the incumbent fuck and an eternally venereal purveyor of gonorrhea, Kenneth Paxton faces off against Rochelle Garza.  

Trump has a rally in Robstown this weekend.  At some "gritty fairground" out in the Lone Star sticks.  Paxton's mission will be to fire up and inflame the crowd.  You know... before the Orange Prolapse hits the stage.

Trump and Paxton share a "feel good" movement in the presidential limo.  Notice how their hands, and any subliminal evidence of homo-digital erotica, has been conveniently edited out.

The Daily Trump Dumps: (10-20-22, non-Lone Star related)

Point State Park

 

An impressive trifecta.  A multi-faceted Keystone Trump Dump outside Gateway Health on Liberty Ave.

Dedicated to President Joe Biden and his Pixburgh appearance at the Fern Hollow Bridge reconstruction  project this afternoon.

Needless to say, I wasn't invited.

 

(We Don’t Want No) Kenneth Paxton
sonofsaf

We don’t want no Kenneth Paxton
We don’t want no Kenneth Paxton
'Cause he lies the big lie the big lie the big lie
We don’t want no, we don’t want no

Ken’s a Texas-sized retard
Log Cabin GOP he will blow
Wife’s a stupid fucking whore
A coup d’état led insurrection
Cause Trump’s a liar with no erection

We don’t want no
Oh no no no
Gay gay gay
That faggot’s gay

We don’t want no Kenneth Paxton
We don’t want no Kenneth Paxton
'Cause he lies the big lie the big lie the big lie
We don’t want no, we don’t want no

Libtards are his enemy
Bon Jovi’s Aunt’s an anchovy
Dems want it all for free
Proud Boys are all you see
With a coup d’etat plan that wasn’t a joke
Hatin’ Nancy Pelosi

We don’t want no
Oh no no no
Gay gay gay
Asshole’s in play

We don’t want no Kenneth Paxton
We don’t want Orange Prolapse attraction
'Cause he lies the big lie the big lie the big lie
We don’t want no, we don’t want no

In his Austin, Texas world
He’s takin’ a shit yeah takin’ a crap
And he’s whinin’ about a girl
Ivanka’s a bed wetter and now afraid to speak
‘Cause Jared Kushner’s a wimp and weak

We don’t want no
Oh no no no
Gay gay gay
That faggot’s gay

We don’t want no, we don’t want no
We don’t want no Kenneth Paxton
No Kenneth Paxton, no Kenneth Paxton
No Kenneth Paxton, we don’t want no

 

(I Can't Get No) Satisfaction
Rolling Stones

I can't get no satisfaction
I can't get no satisfaction
'Cause I try and I try and I try and I try
I can't get no, I can't get no

When I'm drivin' in my car
And the man comes on the radio
He's tellin' me more and more
About some useless information
Supposed to fire my imagination

I can't get no
Oh no no no
Hey hey hey
That's what I say

I can't get no satisfaction
I can't get no satisfaction
'Cause I try and I try and I try and I try
I can't get no, I can't get no

When I'm watchin' my TV
And a man comes on and tells me
How white my shirts can be
But he can't be a man 'cause he doesn't smoke
The same cigarettes as me

I can't get no
Oh no no no
Hey hey hey
That's what I say

I can't get no satisfaction
I can't get no girl reaction
'Cause I try and I try and I try and I try
I can't get no, I can't get no

When I'm ridin' round the world
And I'm doin' this and I'm signin' that
And I'm tryin' to make some girl
Who tells me baby better come back maybe next week
Can't you see I'm on a losing streak

I can't get no
Oh no no no
Hey hey hey
That's what I say

I can't get no, I can't get no
I can't get no satisfaction
No satisfaction, no satisfaction
No satisfaction, I can't get no

 

Since 1974, The Stones have played the Burgh a grand total of 11 times.  

I had a good time at their Acrid Turd stadium concert last fall.  But hey let's be realistic.  Maybe it's time to hang it up.

This is my second parody of Satisfaction.  Last year I penned #334.  (I Don't Want No) Police Action. 

A colorful response to the 10-minute, calculated torture death of Greg Floyd.

DEVO:

7-19-97, Star Lake Amphitheater, Burgettstown, PA (Lollapalooza)

8-4-10, Celeste Center, Ohio State Fair, Columbus, OH

6-17-11, Stage AE, Pittsburgh, PA

Rolling Stones:

9-29-94, Three Rivers Stadium, Pittsburgh, PA

9-28-05, PNC Park, Pittsburgh, PA

6-20-15, Heinz Field, Pittsburgh, PA

7-4-15, Indianapolis Motor Speedway, Indianapolis, IN

10-4-21, Heinz Field, Pittsburgh, PA

 

The Big Lie 100: (#676)

#1417.  Crudite Mode (Holiday Road --- Lindsey Buckingham)

#1418.  Wants Crudite (So Far Away --- Dire Straits)

#1419.  The Crudite (Not Fade Away --- Grateful Dead)

#1420.  Crudite Din (Holiday Inn --- Elton John)

 

#1421.  Tiffany Smiley (Baba O'Riley --- Grateful Dead)

#1422.  Markwayne (Cocaine --- Eric Clapton)

 

#1423.  Coco Elaine (Hello Again --- The Cars)

 

#1424.  Ill Campaigns (Still Remains --- Stone Temple Pilots)

 

#1425.  Crudite (Yesterday --- Paul McCartney)

 

#1426.  Roe Roe Roe Your Vote (Row Row Row Your Vote --- Ella Fitzgerald)

 

#1427.  Tate Reeves (Governor Blows) (Believe (Nobody Knows) --- My Morning Jacket)

 

#1428.  Eatin' Crudite (Surfin' U.S.A. --- Beach Boys)

 

#1429.  Mrs. Smiley (Mr. Smiley --- Poison)

 

#1430.  Mitch McConnell (Old MacDonald --- Unknown)

 

#1431.  Master Is Special (Master Of Puppets --- Metallica) 

#1432.  Crudite (Holiday --- Bee Gees)

 

#1433.  Fucked Up Ass Blake Masters (Fabulous Disaster --- Exodus)

 

#1434.  Mrs. Smiley (Mr. Crowley --- Ozzy Osbourne)

 

#1435.  Talk To Mark Meadows (Walk In The Shadows --- Queensryche)

 

#1436. Chris Kice (The Price -- Twisted Sister)

#1437.  Crudite (Stay Away --- Nirvana)

#1438.  Crudite (New Year's Day --- U2)

#1439.  One More Crudite Bite (One More Saturday Night --- Grateful Dead)

#1440.  The Crudite's Bad (The Crudite) (Don't Go Away Mad (Just Go Away) --- Motley Crue)

#1441.  Crudite (Say Say Say --- Paul McCartney & Michael Jackson)

#1442.  That Donald Trump Is... (All In The Name Of... Motley Crue)

#1443.  Comer Isn't Very Smart (Owner Of A Lonely Heart --- Yes)

#1444.  Mehmet Oz (Just Because --- Jane's Addiction)

#1445.  A Piece Of Shit From The Start (Total Eclipse Of The Heart --- Bonnie Tyler)

#1446.  J.D. (Lady --- Styx)

#1447.  J.D. Vance (My Romance --- Carly Simon)

#1448.  Donald Trump's Hair (Ya Mo B There --- Michael McDonald)

#1449.  Dixon, Tudor (Touch My Tooter --- Ween)

#1450.  J.D. (Lady --- Little River Band)

#1451.  J.D. Is Gay (Lay Lady Lay --- Bob Dylan)

#1452.  Tudor Dixon (Superstition --- Stevie Wonder)

#1453.  Richard Woods (Harry Hood --- Phish)

#1454.  Woods (Would --- Alice In Chains)

#1455.  Ted Budd (Blackbird --- The Beatles)

#1456.  Budd Is Far Right (Bloody Well Right --- Supertramp)

#1457.  Trump's Strange (La Grange --- ZZ Top)

#1458.  Ashley Kalus (Brokedown Palace --- Grateful Dead)

#1459.  Hung Cao (Right Now --- Van Halen)

#1460.  Hung Cao (Black Cow --- Steely Dan)

#1461.  Scott Jensen (Confusion --- Electric Light Orchestra)

#1462.  Meet Mehmet (Meet The Mets --- Ruth Roberts & Bill Katz)

#1463.  Bolduc (Holed Up --- The Raconteurs)

#1464.  Bolduc's Fucked up (Hold Your Head Up --- Argent)

#1465.  Vance Is A Cunt (Eminence Front --- The Who)

#1466.  Oh Mike Lindell (The First Noel --- Brian Wilson)

#1467.  A Fucking Assclown (The Final Countdown --- Europe)

#1468.  Kim Jong Un Will Fight (Afternoon Delight --- Starland Vocal Band)

#1469.  Majewski's Outta Line (Nobody's Fault But Mine --- Led Zeppelin)

#1470.  I Guess That's Why They Call Him A Jew (I Guess That's Why They Call It The Blues --- Elton John)

#1471.  Crudite Plate (Runaway Train --- Soul Asylum)

#1472.  Roger Stone (Danger Zone --- Kenny Loggins)

#1473.  Roger Stone (Danger Zone --- The Ramones)

#1474.  Laxalt (Asshole --- Tom Petty)

#1475.  Trump Is A Bitch (Under The Bridge --- Red Hot Chili Peppers)

#1476.  Mark Meadows Loves Gay Porn (Every Rose Has A Thorn --- Poison)

#1477.  Kim Jong's Illin' (You Be Illin' --- Run DMC)

#1478.  Bad Roger Stone (Bad To The Bone --- George Thorogood & The Destroyers)

#1479.  Burt (Hurt --- Nine Inch Nails)

#1480.  Pate Is A Geek (Eight Days A Week --- The Beatles)

#1481.  Poor Sandy Smith (Poor Ellen Smith --- Billy Strings)

#1482.  Laxalt (Blackout --- Scorpions)

#1483.  Steve J. Scalise (Karma Police --- Radiohead)

#1484. Steve Scalise (Dream Police --- Cheap Trick)

#1485.  Teddy Cruz (Boggie Shoes --- KC & The Sunshine Band)

#1486. Ronchetti (Black Betty --- Metal Church)

#1487.  Joe O'Dea (Day By Day --- The Hooters)

#1488.  Tommy Tuberville (A View To A Kill --- Duran Duran) 

#1489.  Fuck You Trumpers (All You Zombies --- The Hooters)

#1490.  A. Biggs (War Pigs --- Black Sabbath)

#1491.  Rubio Ga Ga (Radio Ga Ga --- Queen)

#1492.  Moran (Old Man --- Neil Young)

#1493.  Trump's A Liar (Ring Of Fire --- Johnny Cash)

#1494.  Why Does Ivanka Blow (Where Do The Children Go --- The Hooters)

#1495.  Why Why, Gay Gay (Chris Sununu) (My My, Hey Hey (Out Of The Blue) --- Neil Young)

#1496.  Tonight Ivanka Masturbates For You (Tonight I Want To Celebrate With You --- My Morning Jacket)

#1497.  Marco A. Rubio (Turn Up The Radio --- Autograph)

#1498.  Tshibaka (Fuck You) (Axilla (Part II --- Phish)

#1499.  Sinning (Winning --- Santana)

#1500.  Nunes (Jane Says --- Jane's Addiction)

#1501.  (We Don't Want No) Kenneth Paxton (I Can't Get No) Satisfaction --- Rolling Stones)

Please do not share this material with Kenneth Paxton and/or former President Donald J. Trump.