Come celebrate the birthdays of Danno (prelude to the 4th annual Dannopen) and G Mo (Rrroar). Yeah, yeah, I know... Saf, it's the same day as Jamboree in the Hills. I can't afford to miss the excitement of Friday night at Stankfest.
Perhaps it would be best to explain how my party will differ from Jamboree in the Hills. This way, you can make a competent decision on whether to attend.
10) At Jambo, scantily clad morbidly obese women are prevalent. At my place, this is not the case.
9) In regards to education... At Jambo, there is a spattering of high school diplomas. On the other hand, I had to go to summer school - The bastards made me take basic English because I didn't have enough credits. F'in Krelis.
8) At Jambo, smoking cigarettes and chewing tobacco is widely encouraged. At my place, widely discouraged.
7) At Jambo, people are covered in mud. At my place, you'll be asked to not track mud in the house.
6) At Jambo, you'll hear the ongoing invigorating debate of Chevy vs. Ford. At my place, it's foosball vs. dome.
5) At Jambo, you'll smell the acrid stench of incest. At my place, you'll be greeted by scents of Papaya Mango and Hawaiian Breeze. Mmmmm. Pleasant.
4) Jambo is in Ohio. My place is in Ohio County.
3) At Jambo, you'll see the running of the rednecks. At my place, it's the scurrying of the groundhogs.
2) At Jambo, parking is five bucks. At my place, parking is a measure of your worth as a human being.
1) At Jambo, George W. Bush is hailed as a great leader with a keen intellect. At my place, George Bush is the equivalent of dogshit.
So there you go. All members of the message board and their friends are welcome.
Here's the specifics...
Friday, July 20
Happy Hour (6pm til close)
BYOB and BYOcooler - don't shove your shitty Bud Light bottles in my defenseless crisper.
Here's something new. Don't park in the middle of the 3 pt. turn.
I'll provide food. More than just a cucumber slice.
Feel free to crash out. Beds and couches are on a first come, first serve basis. Tents are welcome. The local bars will all be empty because most drunks are at Stankfest in the Hills.
Directions: Near Wheeling Park - Take Romney Road. Right on Brook. Left on Ridgewood. Go threw the gate all the way to the top. Do not go near my neighbor. Your existence sickens him. You can park on the side of his driveway, if you wish.